Reddit dickheads are losing it over the new “tiny dick” emoji

By David Futrelle

The Unicode Consortium — the mysterious cabal in charge of the world’s emojis — is adding several hundred new emojis this year, including a bunch catering to the disabled (e.g., a guide dog, an ear with a hearing aid in it, a variety of wheelchairs) and others celebrating everything from falafel to sloths.

But one particular emoji in the new set is causing a bit of a stir: the “pinched hand,” officially designated as a symbol for a “small amount” — but which many have taken to mean “a small amount of penis.” Indeed, a post on Vice welcomed the pinched hand as

an emoji that’s perfect for easily humiliating men when they’re being disgusting online or, you know, being men.

Not everyone is so thrilled. On Reddit, angry dudes in an assortment of man-centric subreddits are protesting what they see as a deliberate attempt by the alleged SJWs of the Unicode Consortium to mock some of the world’s most sensitive men. (They’re also not too keen on the Vice article.)

The most common response from the mangry mob? To call for a new “big vagina” emoji they can send to women. “When’s the ‘cavernous vagina’ emoji coming out?” demanded one Redditor in the Jordan Peterson subreddit.

In the Braincels subreddit — Reddit’s main incel forum — one man put some of the blame for the emoji on supposedly “sissified” men. “270 ’emo’ icons,” he wrote,

yet not a single one to signify an overused vagina to serve as an analogous complement to the small penis

wonder why the double standard?

could it be that american “men” are sissified wimps who have accepted their place underneath the bottom of the totem pole?

Other vagina-obsessed Reddit dudes wondered why there was no emoji they could use to embarrass slutty women by mocking the flappy, roast-beef-like labia they are convinced every woman develops if she sleeps with more than a handful of men over her lifetime.

“[W]e need a roast beef flap emoji,” insisted one incel Redditor, winning himself more than two dozen upvotes for his important contribution to the debate. (Never mind that bitter incels were sending pictures of roast beef sandwiches to women online long before the “tiny dick” emoji was a thing; I know feminist writers and activists who’ve gotten dozen if not hundreds of the things.)

Mangry Redditors also lamented how unfair the new emoji is to the world’s small-dicked men, who apparently deserve the gold medal in the Oppression Olympics. “Men with small penises have no social voice or leverage,” wrote one apparent member of this oppressed minority in the Men’s Rights subreddit.

This is why ppl/society can say anydamnthing to and about us and it’s never viewed as “wrong”

Some lamented what they saw as a body-shaming double-standard. “I never understood this,” one perplexed Men’s Rights Redditor confessed,

it’s okay to mock a man for the size of his penis, despite the fact that he has literally no control over it, but it’s not okay to mock a woman for being a slut when that’s 100% her own decision.

In the Braincels subreddit, the regulars were even angrier about not being allowed to mock women’s physical appearance, despite the fact the dudes on the Braincels subreddit do this every day, all day long. As one incel put it:

Funny how the only things men get body shamed about are things we can’t change (face, height and dick) but women literally just have to not be fat.

Another incel Redditor added a rhetorical suicide threat to his complaint:

I’m gonna fucking hang myself, no woman would ever come close to being made fun of like this for anything they can’t control. It’s so fucking unfair, I just happen to exist with a small dick so I guess I deserve to be made fun of by everyone.

No one would ever praise the existence of a small boob emoji, because a hand symbol for it doesn’t even fucking exist.

If being shamed for having a small dick makes you feel like dying, dude, might I suggest unsubscribing to the Braincel subreddit? No one talks shit about small dicks more than incels. Nowhere else but in incel forums have I seen dudes redefine “small dick” to mean anything less than 8 inches long. Nowhere have I seen more resistance to women telling insecure men that they really don’t care much about dick size and that in fact it can be painful to have large penises inserted in your body.

There were the inevitable laments about Chad and his allegedly huge dick. The “tiny dick emoji” isn’t mocking all men, one Reddit incel insisted.

its mocking unattractive men with small dics. big dick chad and tyrone aint bein mocked here. misandry is code for anti-ugly male.

One Men’s Rights Redditor insisted that the fact that some women are looking forward to having an emoji to send to dudes who fill up their inboxes with unsolicited dick pics means that women in general lack even the most basic understanding of honorable behavior:

Remember, women never learned what honor is. This is straight up hate. They never get taught what honor is. Honorable men don’t go for the weakest spots. They also don’t call people fragile for rightfully being hurt by meanspirited comments about those weakest spots.

Another Men’s Rights Redditor responded to this comment with an even more unbelievably ignorant one:

I can’t actually think of a time in history where women were openly slagged off and insulted by men just for being women.

Uh, how about RIGHT NOW. In the MEN’S RIGHTS SUBREDDIT. In the VERY COMMENT YOU’RE RESPONDING TO.

Also, you might want to consider THE ENTIRE REST OF HUMAN HISTORY.

Naturally more than a few of the angriest men threatened — oh, sorry, warned — that women using the new emoji should expect a furious reaction from the men they send it to. (As if women aren’t already well aware that men often lash out over the tiniest slights.)

A Jordan Peterson fan spelled out his “warning” in ponderous detail:

Once you mock someone, you better have your shit straight, because in my mind that is an invitation for me to make fun of your looks. You think men are insecure about their penis? yeah, not as much as women are about their weight, face, hair, etc.

Gosh, ladies, men might call you fat! I bet you never saw that coming!

This will just be devastating to anyone that uses it due to opening themselves to backlash from men who are amicable until provoked.

“Amicable until provoked” … by a tiny picture of pinching fingers.

I hold back insults because I truly do not wish to harm someone psychologically, and I’m not sure why these women would seek to do it, but if they do it to someone who hasn’t done anything to deserve it they are open to getting owned.

This Men’s Rights Redditor was a bit blunter:

I can guarantuee this emoji will cause more murders than the real gun emoji (the one that they had to replace with the water gun) ever could

But the most, er, imaginative response of all to the new emoji came from the Braincels subreddit from several Redditors who have convinced themselves that the new emoji might so enrage men that they collectively decide to put an end to feminism altogether.

“The small dick emoji is just what we need,” wrote an incel calling himself whilefalling

I predict this will be a tipping point for men. It will wake up an entire generation of young men to the blackpill, and it will enrage men to the point where they can’t take it anymore.

I predict a surge of interest in men’s rights/anti-feminism. I predict a surge of men coming out as incels. I predict a surge of ‘misogynist’ insults on social media websites such as Twitter. Call my dick small? I’ll call you a slut. I’ll say your breasts are small. These insults will become more socially acceptable, as a blowback to female misandry.

Gynocentrism can only last for so long. Men are angry, and they’re about to get really angry.

An incel called JucheforWhitePeople seconded that emotion:

This emoji just might be the kind of acceleratioism that we need.

Yes, let’s encourage these thots to be as hypergamous and bitchy as possible. Encourage them to openly say that all short and small-dicked men should die. Let them be as racist as they can to ethnics.

An entire generation of men is going to be blackpilled by the excesses of their toxic femininity. Their copes and hollow platitudes will only fall on deaf ears after that.

Men will stand up and inevitably put an end to feminism. There will be no going back when even the cucks can longer defend what foids are doing.

I hate to break it to you, dude, but angry men have been raging against feminism from the moment it was born, and feminism has survived. The “pinching finger” emoji isn’t going to bring millions of angry dudes to the barricades to overthrow feminism and bring about The Republic of Gilead on earth.

I have mixed feelings about the “tiny dick” emoji myself. On the one hand, it does stigmatize those with small penises, who really don’t deserve this petty form of body shaming.

On the other hand, IT’S JUST A FUCKING EMOJI and I’m guessing that the overwhelming majority of those who get it sent to them will be 1) dudes with roughly average-sized penises who’ve sent pictures of these penises to women who never asked for them or 2) the sort of dudes who go around calling women “foids” to their face.

Also, the emoji can be used for other things. like indicating to someone that that you’re CRUSHING THEIR HEAD.

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