By David Futrelle
Deep inside even the most cynical Man Going His Own Way beats the heart of a true romantic. Or at least that seems to be the case with one anonymous MGTOW who has confessed his dark secret on the MGTOW.com forums: sometimes when he sees a woman his heart goes pitty-pat.
“Even in my Red Pill state,” he wrote,
I occassionally see a woman who just looks perfect and is my idea of the “dream girl”
Aw, that’s so sweet! Maybe there’s hope for … oh, wait, there’s more:
but don’t worry, it doesn’t take long before I realize she is a whore.
Damn, I guess I should have known that was coming, especially since the title of his post was “That moment you realize the woman of your dreams is a whore” — which, in retrospect, should have been a dead giveaway.
In a followup comment, our anonymous friend revealed that he has not only grown disillusioned about real women but also about, well, photos these real women without any clothes on.
Responding to another commenter extolling the virtues of anime waifus, anonymous declared that he too is a fan of 2-D women, though he prefers photos of actual living women to drawings of imaginary ones, Trouble is, whenever he looks at them he can’t help but remember that the women in these pictures are actual living women and he gets sad because all actual living women are whores.
I like photos of real women but I do prefer them in photo form as well. Growing up I would make up personalities for them and never realize that they were in fact sluts despite them posing nude etc.
But no more! The scales have fallen from his eyes!
Anonymous’ somewhat counterintuitive conclusion from all of this? It’s men, not women, who are the truly romantic ones.
Just goes to show that the theory about men being stupid horny dogs who just want to f~~~ is just that – a myth. Most guys seem to want some kind of romantic ideal. Women just can’t match our expectations.
I guess it’s hard for women to be simultaneously hot and naked and pure and virginal, huh? Must be the fault of the women, and not this dude’s literally impossible expectations.
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@Katamount
A not-insignificant number of guys I know took away the message that it’s bad for women to have a sexual past from that movie. I guess it’s like how people think Walter White is the good guy.
Even in their fantasies, where they have 100% control over what happens, women still can’t woman correctly.
You’d think that would give them just the tiniest clue how out of whack their expectations are.
dat’s ’cause that’s the fantasy. That’s the thing they want. It’s what they’re interested in. It’s the world they want to live in. The one where they get to be superior without doing anything. Where women are always wrong and the things that women want don’t matter.
I, too, was struck by how the OP’s concept of “dream woman” stopped at the surface. It might also explain why so many of these guys are so obsessed with the notion of sexbots: they don’t want for there to be anything under that surface either…
For some reason this reminded me of what happened to John Ruskin on his wedding night. He saw Effie Gray (his wife) naked for the first time, and immediately lost all sexual interest in her.
He had thought her face beautiful, but the reality of the rest of her body disgusted him.
At least he had the decency to hold her blameless for his reaction. The marriage was annulled and she married again.
I’ve long had the impression that some heterosexual men have a difficult time with the physical reality of the women to whom they’re attracted. They know that men belch, fart, piss and shit, but discovering that women do all that (and more!) squicks them out something fierce.
Nothing to do with the topic… not just “off-topic”, but COMPLETELY irrelevant to any and all topics DISCUSSED
(however, for the adventurous Mammotheer, a gift from the “Sea Chanty”… stumbled over this while going down the yootoob rabbit hole)
Mgtows truly wish for a world where they control women like cattle, completely remove humanity from women tland treat us worse than shit because..biology. All women are cursed whores and evil demons while they are all pure who dream of romance but they’re forced to leave this dream because of women. I’ve heard of reddit’s mgtow2 subreddit trying to disassociate from the misogyny of the original mgtow now. But it’s still the same, saying how all women are whores who will hurt you. It’s soft misogyny, it’s still there.
Has anyone watched Rachel Oates on YouTube? She did a video on mgtows a while back and unsurprisingly, expectedly got plenty of terrible vitriolic responses because of it. I notice a few mgtows (they always have the same roadsign profile picture and ‘mgtow’ in their name. It’s like a cult right now) leaving comments on her newer videos too, telling other commenter to watch other mgtows about women. (like ‘go watch Turd Flinging Monkey or Sandman on ___’) Seriously cultish..
Nothing they do or say can ever be talked about, especially from women. Because women aren’t people to them, we’re a lower class of humans, ugh. But they can and should always talk about women even though their entire point to improve yourself.
I need to go watch something nice to clear my mind.. Their poison and energy is so draining and negative.
@Cat Mara
When I saw Cat’s post, I thought “Well yeah, of course; they want women to be just as shallow and superficial as they are.” After some reflection, though, I had to reconsider, as my line of thinking sort of lets these miscreants off the hook for their odious perspectives. I’ve known plenty of shallow and superficial people that could still engage in fulfilling relationships with depth and meaning, so I’m left bewildered as to how some people can still think this way.
I wonder if the ubiquity and availability of video pornography may be at least partially responsible for the continuation of this mindset. I’m no anti-porn prude by any stretch of the imagination, but I recall a time when the most readily available pornography was limited to pictures in magazines. Pornographic movies were largely relegated to skeevy adult theatres and the social stigma was severe enough that one’s mere presence at such an establishment would be considered scandalous. Paul Reubens’ career was almost completely destroyed for the “heinous crime” of masturbating at such an establishment in 1991.
Now, viewing video pornography is considered widespread (no pun intended) and commonplace, if not socially acceptable. Given the often overtly degrading and dehumanizing treatment of women in even “mainstream” porn, I wonder if the ubiquity of live action pornography could be a contributing factor to the prevalence of misogynistic attitudes toward women that persist in the 21st century, especially without strong guidance from parental and/or authority figures about separating the fantasy of pornography from the reality of human sexuality.
I hope this doesn’t come across as being non-sex positive. I think viewing ethically produced pornography through an appropriately informed lens can be perfectly healthy without encouraging the toxic thinking that pervades the manosphere.
@Wandering Jewterus
Oh yeah, mainstream porn is pretty wretched stuff. If it isn’t being boring and repetitive, it’s being sadistically demeaning to the performers, not only to women, but also trans performers and performers of colour. It’s hardly being sex-negative to critique the detrimental aspects of the industry.
Okay, I am having very bad luck, but I want to try again.
First of all, I’m sorry this is off topic, I promise there will be something on topic at the end.
Second of all, hello mammotheers, I hope you’re doing well!
I’m TomBcat, technically, although the name above doesn’t reflect that too well.
Aeons ago, I’ve been a somewhat regular commenter, then forgot about this site after some internet-free time.
With the rise of incels, however, I was in dire need of some good mocking and back I came.
I saw that the commetariat is just as lovely as I remember it and so I thought ‘I should say hi sometimes!’
Then someone mentioned goats, and I love goats, and so I finally said hi. I’m very happy that scented fucking candles are still a thing, and excited that trolls got downgraded from chewtoy to pinhata (they do leave an icky after taste).
Back on topic, regarding porn:
I can’t speak for anyone else, but when I was young and without experience, porn definitely shaped how I saw myself, and the way I’m supposed to act, what I’m supposed to like. It took some re-learning to get to a better place. I thought something was wrong with me every time I didn’t like something that women in porn seemed to enjoy.
I also don’t think that pornography itself is a bad thing at all (and can be very positive indeed), but that the mixture of freely available, rather extreme porn can warp our ideas about sex and gender, at least when there is no other guidance available – which it often isn’t. Even in places that have decent sex ed, a lot of important emotional and practical subjects aren’t discussed. How are you supposed to know that some women don’t enjoy, for example, giving oral all that much, when all the material you have presents that act as mindblowing to everyone involved?
You may have a good idea that it wouldn’t actually be like that, but until you try it out, that might still be the best idea you have of sex.
Sorry if my previous greetings seemed a bit random and not well thought-out, admittedly I wrote them at work during some idle moments.
@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
Kinda reminds me of the people trapped in Plato’s cave who are convinced that the shadow projections on the wall are reality. Like Plato’s toxic man-cave with porn projections.
A wise commenter on Pharyngula* who is a teacher once told me that either she or a colleague taught there students a lesson about porn that I think would still be wise for many/most adults to hear and internalize:
*either Giliell or Esteleth, I can’t remember which for sure, but i’m like 85% positive it was Giliell…
@Crip Dyke: This reminds me of a humorous essay by Umberto Eco which was titled something like, “How To Spot A Porn Movie”. Eco’s theory was that in regular movies, scenes such as car journeys served a narrative purpose and therefore only lasted only as long as they had to; whereas in porn movies, they acted as “palate cleansers” between the scenes of debauchery and lasted just that bit longer than in regular movies. In this way the discerning movie-goer could tell if they were watching a porno rather than, say, an erotic thriller. ?
(Or, at least, that was in the Good Old Days™ when porn movies had the pretence of plots; nowadays, I think it’s just wall-to-wall debauchery…)
I wonder what they’ll do when they find out that sex-bots are all whores, too…
These guys make me more sad then anything else. I can’t imagine having that much rage in you.
@Crip Dyke: And speaking of Pharyngula, the TERF horde are brigading the comments there because PZ made some posts about hbomberguy’s Twitch stream to raise money for the Mermaids charity in the UK. Because what would a mere biologist know about sex, amirite? ?
David, don’t be too hard on yourself, this kind of cryptic writing, it’s kind of hard to discern the deeeeep meaning….
🙂
@Amtep:
Well, let’s see. They have absolutely no standards and will sleep with literally anybody, so … yeah. 🙂
@kupo
Holy…WT…I can’t…WHAT?! How could one possibly take that message away from the movie? I can only think that they watched the bizarro world version because that’s literally the exact opposite of the entire point
@Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
Well she obviously ruined everything by being so promiscuous in the past. /s
The one difference is that young people get to watch normal, everyday driving all the time, but it’s a smart metaphor to keep in mind.
@kupo, @Whiskey Tango Foxtrot
How that could be anybody’s takeaway from Chasing Amy is beyond me. Kevin Smith movies are not exactly morally opaque and open to many interpretations. This is a guy who casts himself as the stoner sage whose only lines are lengthy monologues in which he basically spells out the moral of the movie.
Anybody who watched all that movie about men being dumb and ruining their own relationships with their hang-ups and then took away from it the idea that women shouldn’t have a sexual past because it will ruin all their future relationships is being wilfully stupid and deliberately reading their own message directly counter to what the movie is straight up telling them.
It’s like the guys who watch Fight Club and walk away from the theater excitedly talking about starting one.