By David Futrelle
Over in the Men Going Their Own Way subreddit, the regulars were recently lamenting that the women of today just aren’t as feminine as the lovely ladies of the past — obviously a terribly pressing issue for men who have “gone their own way” away from women and don’t care about them any more, nuh-uh, but somehow end up talking about them all day every day.
“Is it me or are modern women no longer as feminine as before,” someone called Darknesszero79 wondered aloud.
I feel that women are becoming more masculine and more promiscuous and more similar to us
Modern women are no longer ladies and for some reason I no longer feel attracted to them as when I was more innocent
Only very few girls attract me and I feel that even the traps are more feminine than the women of today
“Trap,” in case you’re unfamiliar with this lovely transphobic slur, is a term used by dudes who hang out in shitty places online to describe a trans “girl” or a young crossdresser they find attractive.
It’s a shame because I always wanted to have a family and a good wife but I feel that that does not fit in the modern world
It’s honestly not that much of a shame because every dude who posts on the MGTOW subreddit would make an incredibly shitty husband.
Naturally, most of those responding to Darknesszero79’s lament shared his sadness, with many of them working a good deal of anger into the mix. A fellow called Delita_Wasnt_Wrong managed to be mad that women are supposedly trying hard to become men, while also being mad that these women are, at least according to him, failing at it.
“’They hate us cuz they ain’t us,’” he began.
Women want to be more like men because men are superior. They see strength, intelligence, success etc and think that by the mere act of copying our behavior and looks they’ll be the same.
I believe this woman from an insurance ad has some thoughts on this she would like to share.
Back to the MGTOW dude and his dumb opinions:
But biology doesn’t give a shit how you dress, how you cut your hair, how many shitty tattoos you canvas your body with, and how you attempt to show strength and masculine qualities. At the end of the day, if you don’t have testes, a larger frame and a bigger brain built to handle stress and react to complex situations and challenges, your chameleon attempt will fail.
I think Buck Angel here might disagree with that whole “testes make the man” thing.
And I’m pretty sure Wendy McCready would disagree about the strength thing.
I mean, she could kick my ass, I’m not ashamed to admit.
These poor excuses for women will spend decades trying to be strong and independent because that’s what they were told they should be to be successful, and in the end they’ll be depressed because they didn’t get what their brain and biology really wanted in the first place – to have and raise children at a young age.
Yeah, keep telling yourself that, strong and independent dude who spends his evenings trying to impress the second most loserish group of losers on Reddit after the incels.
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@Dalillama:
No they wouldn’t. They’re dead.
@Cat Mara
I read your post about brains right after I’d sent this to a friend: comic strip version of the Good Omens scene where Crowley & Aziraphale get drunk & try to convince each other that the Apocalypse shouldn’t actually happen. Whale (& dolphin) brains start the whole thing off 😀
@Snowberry
That made me snort, thank you!
It’s like they have just replaced “as god intended” with “what their biology wants”. Too bad they missed out the whole “evidence based” part of science.
@Mish: Not bad but when I always imagine that scene, there’s more bottles. Like many, many, many, more bottles. ?
I found that article about the brains because I’d always been told that the difference between women’s and men’s brain masses pretty much disappeared once you factored in the disparity in overall body mass– in fact, if you went by brain-as-proportion-of-body-mass, women on average tended to have larger brains by that measure! That article seems to suggest that that’s not the case either, though I’m suspicious of any attempts to reduce a complex matter like this down to single numbers– it stinks of the whole IQ business again. There’s probably a lower limit on brain volume (or cerebral cortex volume) below which higher executive function is impossible, but there are examples in the literature of men and women who have sustained extremely traumatic brain injuries and still retained (or recovered) at least some of their cognitive faculties, even at relatively advanced ages. So even though neurons don’t regenerate to the same extent our other tissues do, the brain retains a lot of plasticity. Going by gross physical measurements like how big it is stinks of 19th century pseudoscience.
TL;DR as Ben Goldacre says, “actually, it’s a lot more complicated than that”. But it’s a message lost on the manosphere…
It’s really brain surface area, not size, that’s important for intelligence. One way to get more surface area is to greater brain size, but another way is to have more cortex folding. That’s why humans tend to have more “wrinkly” brains than other animals—it’s an efficient use of space. Men have larger brains on average, but women have more cortex folding on average. Most people seem to agree these differences basically cancel each other out.
and there’s one of the books….
@Dalillama:
Well, yes, but this was purely from the investor’s viewpoint. And we certainly have enough indications of just how poorly human life was valued unless you were the right sort of person.
That’s one of those things that we generally do have better now. Not enough better, of course.
Viscaria, beautiful. Just beautiful. I had to quote the whole thing because it’s so succinct and perfect.
@Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie:
Congratulations on ruining the 50s for them. I mean, look at what a misandrist decade that decade clearly reveals it was. It’s got a feeeeee-male on the cover! And showing off her legs like that! Filthy whore! With that grin on her face because people are all like “Age of consent” and stuff and she’s just blocking the sidewalk like it belongs to her. And is that a – *shudder* a black person in the upper-right corner? I thought they knew their place back then! But noooo, there’s a black guy, and two women, and what looks like a poor person… No wonder that poor white boy looks like he’s going to cry. The only proper role model he has is some bald guy. What a filthy piece of SJW propaganda.
Note 1: Post contains sarcasm, in case it wasn’t obvious.
Note 2: I do actually know who the bald guy is.
“If women try hard to be like men, women will only be miserable because…no, not because we’re miserable! Because biology.”
It’s this hilarious mixture of self denial and outwardly projected shame and anxiety. They’re cowards.
If being a man is worthless, nobody would try to act like one in order to succeed in life.
If only these people could read The Second Sex, or at least go over Hegel’s master/slave dialectic.
Like I’ve always identified incredibly feminine. I used to call it girly but some people find that infantilizing nowadays I don’t mind being called a girl or girly but some people seem to. So I’ll try to remember not to phrase it like that. So even if like I did in high school and college you go out of your way(above and beyond the Call of Duty as it were?) to be very feminine to the point of catering to boys or men, I mean I was a teenager part of this time, you still can’t win.
Like if you act incredibly feminine always dressed up in school girl outfits and teeny tiny halter dresses Etc. Always perfectly done makeup and hair and Jewelry wearing nothing but platform stilettos and a mix of the two, awesome fuck me boots LOL, then you are desirable physically.
But the great majority even when you’re trying your best to cater to them and be wanted because I was way too insecure when I was young have no interest beyond that physical and shallow outside aspect. If anyone’s read Gone Girl that passage where she talks about the cool girl I’m ashamed to say that was me for a decent while and I truly wanted it. Like I wasn’t just doing it for the amusement of guys I had enough internalized sexism that I truly thought it was incredibly satisfying to act that way and be desired like that.
But later, in my early twenties it very much started to pale when I realized all these people who seemed to enjoy my company so much I couldn’t care less about my actual personality or intelligence or anything like that. So my point is it’s a catch-22, you can’t win. There’s no literally no possible way to win this
Not really lol.
@ChunkySpaghettiSauce
Ish. A brain with a more sophisticated organisation will be able to do more interesting things than one with a simpler layout even if the simpler one has a much greater cortical expanse.
It also doesn’t take into account non-mammalian brains, eg. birds or cephalopods, who don’t rely on wrinkliness at all. #whatabouttheoctopusses
Basically we know almost nothing about intelligence, but we can take some comfort in the fact that we know vastly more than any manospherian.
This reminds me of a conversation I had at work when my son was very young. I was a cycle courier, a 90% male occupation. One man said how much easier it would be to look after a child all day, and another man said: ”I would much rather do this all day. Sometimes I look after my nephew and by the end of the day I am exhausted”.
Thank you, man who actually knew what he was talking about!
@ Rapid Rabbit:
I was alive where the bald guy was elected the second time….
Tokha
I would say that they do know that women are people, they just don’t like it one damn bit, and wish they could turn us into accessories, or walking wombs.
That’s why lobotomizing women was a thing in the 50s
Ugggggghhhfffktk I hate the word “biology” now thanks to meatheads like this. They’ve honestly ruined a perfectly good word for me since they use and abuse it so much.
Katie kitten420: I read from those type of guys how being feminine is what women should be always. Then I remember how Sansa Stark from Got was treated by fans for being feminine and a lady calling her useless and weak and how she should die all the time for being so weak.
So according to them, women should be something they hate and will insult all the time.. because they like it while also valuing it less than shit because feminity isn’t as a “good” as masculinity. But! women should still be feminine! And just accept the constant waterfall of being called weak and useless for it.. How tiring to follow their thought patterns..
Megi Stardust: It’s so dehumanizing 🙁
When I was still living in denial and trying hard to be a woman and make a success of woman stuff, I used to overcompensate by being ultra feminine. I knew I couldn’t be ‘mumsy’ and the perfect brethren wife, so I made my kind of woman persona into a diva, I used to sing opera and wear hair extensions, loads of makeup, ballgiens and five inch stilettos. I felt like it was basically being in drag or cosplay but I thought it would work.
However, I did get a lot of male attention which I thought would make me happy but it didn’t. They expected sex from me because being glamorous was false advertising. I always knew I was asexual, but was in deep denial about being trans.
@Virgin Mary
What are ‘ballgiens”?
Valkyrine – I suspect a “ballgien” is a “ballgown” pronounced with the hyper-correct type of strangulated upper-middle-class English (as in UK) accent. (Think of the one used by Tim Curry in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show” – the one where “house” rhymes with “mice”).
Yeah Virgin Mary I totally couldn’t have done the same things I did if I was not inclined toward promiscuity. Like I don’t see anything wrong with it who cares how many people I hooked up with? That’s my business alone, but I enjoyed the male and sometimes female attention. And yes they did expect some form of sexual activity and a lot of the time I gave them what they wanted except for intercourse because I’m terrified of getting pregnant and always have been. I don’t have PIV sex with anyone I’m not in a serious relationship with.
But my naive self thought for a while that wasn’t the only thing they were interested in but most of the time it was of course. I was very insecure and I wanted to be desired but I also wanted to be liked. You know, as a friend. I wanted people to enjoy my company.
If part of the reason they enjoyed my company was I was willing to give them hand jobs and make out with them LOL, I honestly had no problem with that. I had a very high libido and still do, but not as high as when I was in college.
But I realized when I stopped hooking up with people as consistently that they were not interested in my personality the great majority of the time and that’s what actually made me change my mindset and behavior. It was actually incredibly painful to realize that I was truly only wanted for my physical aspects.
Especially because I had accepted that as a necessary part of it but I thought it was only part. o realize I was only lusted-after and the majority of guys couldn’t care less about my personality felt like a betrayal. In hindsight that sounds so dumb. I feel like I was such an gullible idiot because of my low self-esteem.
Anyway I’m babbling and depressing myself so let me stop. I was just trying to be like I totally get what you’re saying but my brain doesn’t comprehend concise so it turned into a rambling essay like all my comments LOL. Have a great day Virgin Mary.
Who odd… It’s almost as if women decided they wanted to be their own people, many leaving behind these men’s ideal standards of women and centuries (millennia?)-old expectations because many women were in fact not happy in it. God forbid we not be who we are as individuals.