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If women want equality, they need to stop wearing makeup, MGTOW political theorist contends

Woman systematically oppressing men with some sort of diabolical lipstick technology

By David Futrelle

You, in your foolish ignorance, may believe that men and women — and everyone else besides — deserve equal rights, because, at the end of the day, we are all human beings.

But such a belief fails to take into the incalculable advantages such faux “equality” gives to women, who use the diabolical power of, er, makeup to bamboozle and exploit men by, er, looking all pretty and shit.

This, in any case, is the powerful case set forth by the eminent political philosopher *checks notes* Some Random Dude on the Internet.

“Ladies want equality? Stop wearing makeup!” the anonymous philosopher declared in a post on the MGTOW.com message boards, where the assembled Men Going Their Own Way have many strong opinions about women despite very loudly and publicly claiming that they are “going their own way,” away from women, and that they really don’t spend any time thinking about icky girl stuff at all.

“Why can’t women be more like us and stop wearing makeup?” he demanded.

Lets see the ladies start taking big manly steps toward equality and stop doing things of no real value! …

The difference between men and women is as plain as the makeup on “their” face!

They’re just like clowns and all MGTOW know it! A game to attract the largest wallet with cash and prizes disposing all the rest while aiming for the highest turnover rate, like a lotto junkie scratching tickets!

They work for hours on their external appearance, and no time on the internal, whereas men are exact opposite!

You ladies are invited to come over to our side of thinking if you want a real challenge and real equality!

Until then, I’m not part of the rotating stock pile of men orbiting your public toilet pussy.

In case you’re wondering what it looks like when something orbits around a pussy, this gif might help.

Anonymous Dude’s mini-manifesto received a mixed reaction from his compatriots on MGTOW.com.

Some immediately saw the wisdom of his argument. “[A]n excellent point re fake up,” wrote someone called MGTaoist, “any woman claiming they want equality should be ashamed to wear it.”

A commenter called Zarathustra spake:

I think this is one of the smartest posts I have read in a while. Makeup belies the whole problem. If women wanted genuine equality then they would be willing (even if unable) to pull their fair share. But when they wear make-up to enhance their sex appeal (whether you agree it works or not) it sends a the message they prioritize using their sex appeal to get men to do the pulling.

But not all the assembled MGTOWs agreed. Some felt that women without makeup were just too ugly to contemplate. (Is this not a form of oppression itself?) And one churlish fellow noted that men could always wear makeup themselves.

Anonymous Dude was having none of it. “Please, don’t refer to them as men!” he retorted.

They’re Manginas! Feminized men!

Remember, it’s all an experiment initiated by social engineers that were cloned for many decades and nourished by the liberal Marxist education regime.

I pity men that abandoned their masculinity in this ongoing experiment.

It’s an argument as powerful as his original one. Marxists have been pushing makeup for men from the beginning. Indeed, though few are aware of this, most of the third volume of Marx’s Capital consisted of advice to workingmen trying to find the right mascara for their eye color and skin tone. “The philosophers have only interpreted the world, in various ways,” Marx famously wrote in his Theses on Revlon. “The point, however, is to change your look in an instant with a kicky new lipstick!”

Little do the men seduced by this message realize that male makeup is the first step on the road to Manginocracy.

Clearly, no one should be wearing makeup. Random Dude on the Internet has spoken!

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Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
5 years ago

I’m kinda thinking makeup is a socially conditioned behavior, anyway

An Impish Pepper
An Impish Pepper
5 years ago

This reminds me of a guy I know who insisted that he wouldn’t hit a woman, unless she hit him first, because it’s only fair.

He said this over and over and over again, louder each time, in case someone in the crowd misinterpreted him, I guess.

It also speaks to the Protestant work ethic on overdrive that characterizes modern capitalism. If you do anything that isn’t immediately recognizable as useful by a cishet white dude, it must be a sign of vanity and sinful self-indulgence, and not at all because of social norms and general pressure to do these “arbitrary” things just to survive.

Mexican Hot Chocolate
Mexican Hot Chocolate
5 years ago

I like how this dude is under the impression that men don’t spend hours on their appearance. Apparently he’s never been in 24 Hour Fitness on a Saturday afternoon or in the men’s grooming section of any store.

rv97
rv97
5 years ago

Great comment on why the modern right these days are corporate shills.

rv97
rv97
5 years ago

As someone born male, I shouldn’t shave just to make things equal. Well, migturds are gender policing scum anyway as well as misogynists, since they’d be fine with women wearing make-up when it suits them I bet.

Jarnsaxa
Jarnsaxa
5 years ago

I don’t actually WANT to wear makeup. It’s just part of the uniform for women at work, though. Alas.

Allison the Great
Allison the Great
5 years ago

And if women don’t wear makeup, these same men would probably say we are slobs.

Bottom line is, no matter what a female does, these guys will gripe about it.

epitome of incomprehensibility

They work for hours on their external appearance, and no time on the internal, whereas men are exact opposite!

Excuuuuse me? I do so take care of the internal. In fact, I take care to eat beets daily so that my gastrointestinal tract stays a fetching, feminine shade of pink. *Tosses hair.* And as for my lungs… well, I’m still working on them. I was thinking of breathing in some superfine ink particles that’ll turn them a nice aquamarine blue, but I hear that’s supposedly “unhealthy.” Humph.

…Dunno where that came from. I think laughing for a good minute about Marx’s “Theses on Revlon” deprived my brain of oxygen. And my brain needs oxygen so it can be pretty, you know. 🙂

Bina
Bina
5 years ago

“Why can’t women be more like us and stop wearing makeup?” he demanded.

Welp, some radical feminists tried that, back in the day. And then the men just jeered at them, and called them ugly dykes. Probably at least one of those men was a forefather of this fine specimen of manhood, too.

In all seriousness, though: Dude, if you think makeup gives women some kind of “unfair advantage”, JUST WEAR THE FUCKING MAKEUP YOURSELF. NOBODY IS STOPPING YOU FROM WEARING MAKEUP BUT YOURSELF.

(I mean, it’s not like you’re not itching to have an unfair advantage over women anyway.)

Iseult The Idle
Iseult The Idle
5 years ago

I’m with Bina. If makeup is some magical advantage, then men are stupid if they don’t dive right in. Do the due, boys, trowel it on and be an insta-ten.

Full Metal Ox
Full Metal Ox
5 years ago

@epitome of incomprehensibility:

Another crucial standard toward your quest for visceral perfection: have you been unknowingly walking around with a uterus that falls short of the Golden Ratio?

http://www.theguardian.com/science/alexs-adventures-in-numberland/2012/aug/14/golden-ratio-uterus

Weatherwax
Weatherwax
5 years ago

Indeed, though few are aware of this, most of the third volume of Marx’s Capital consisted of advice to workingmen trying to find the right mascara for their eye color and skin tone.

Thank you David. That sentence has made my day.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

When you read the words “liberal Marxist”, you known you’re dealing with a deep political thinker.

Ideologically sound liberal Marxists should use only Marx Factor makeup products.

If only these guys thought a bit harder, they’d realise that this “makeup inequality” is another example of patriarchy-reinforced gender roles hurting both women and men. Women are given a hard time if they don’t wear makeup, and men are given a hard time if they do. Men should be able to wear makeup if they want, without being shamed or assaulted.

Kevin
Kevin
5 years ago

Men who blather about the ‘falsity of makeup’ go pretty far back too.
Savonarola of original ‘Bonfire of the Vanities’ fame was one.
His austere views didn’t go down well in Renaissance era Italy and he kind of got into trouble over it.
Tied to a stake on top of a bonfire kind of trouble.

Teabug
5 years ago

I realized that the world was ripe for change the day my own mother told I look better with makeup.

ellesar
ellesar
5 years ago

Egyptian males’ masculinity was never compromised by their use of makeup. Eye makeup is said to have been used within their culture as early as 4000BC. The Ancient Egyptians are known for their regal and elaborate eye enhancement. They often favored an elongated ‘almond eye’ aesthetic in which the makeup extended past the eyelid. En vogue eye colour pallettes were black, applied using kohl, and during the Old Kingdom (2650BC to 2134BC) a green pigment created by malachite was preferential. Furthermore, It was not uncommon for red ochre lip stains to be applied, accompanied by rouged cheeks and dramatic highlights – created by sweeping mineral across the face using smoothed wood or bone.

Roman men were known to apply red pigment to their cheeks, lighten their skin with powder, and paint their nails using a stomach-turning elixir of pig fat and blood. Roman men also painted their heads to camouflage bald spots.

During the rule of Queen Elizabeth I, makeup was popular among men, who valued ghost-white powdered skin.

Although male grooming remained popular for a time after, it faded into the background during the reign of Queen Victoria I. Whilst it is a possibility that the negative side effects of cosmetics led to a decline in their usage; it is undeniable that Royal persuasion acted as a major factor in their regression. Queen Victoria I declared that the use of cosmetics and makeup was vulgar and impolite. As a result of such, she asserted that only whores should wear makeup. Curiously male actors were also exempt from the rule and encouraged to perform in drag, as female actors were forbidden.

Please note that Victoria was opposed to makeup for ALL except ‘whores’!

I do not wear makeup. This has not led to any advancement for me as a woman whatsoever, Whereas my employer, who works for KPMG HAS to wear makeup for work because of ‘professionalism’. Otherwise she would not wear makeup at all either.

reggie, the neighbour's cat and rare mutant
reggie, the neighbour's cat and rare mutant
5 years ago

My favourite line from the Communist Manifesto has always been the rousing and inspiring “Workers of the world unite: you have nothing to lose but your sallow skin and under eye bags.”

Nequam
Nequam
5 years ago

I imagine the French Revolution didn’t do much for the popularity of makeup (or frilly fancy clothing) among men either.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
5 years ago

They work for hours on their external appearance, and no time on the internal, whereas men are exact opposite!

Work on the internal? Anonymous must be referring to MGTOW Internet discussions in which they stoke their hatred of women.

Or did he mean work on the infernal?

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
5 years ago

Hang on – if you’re a woman who’s past “the wall” (wherever it’s set these days), is it okay to wear makeup, or would it just make you a desperate pitiful hag trying to relive her glory days?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

Seize the means of wrinkle reduction!

@Kat – That line brought me up short as well. As far as I can tell, RedPill/MGTOW internal “self improvement” consists of sitting around complaining about how awful women are and boasting about other men’s accomplishments. The equivalent, in makeup terms, would be drawing angry black eyebrows and taping knives and bees and garbage to your forehead.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
5 years ago

I think it’s shocking that they can recognise that it’s a problem, but come to entirely the wrong conclusion.
Back when I was a music student, and trying to get on with my life as a cis-woman, I was under a lot of pressure to wear makeup all the time in case a potential talent scout was around the corner. I never performed without makeup, and nevet left the house without it either.
Since coming to terms with my gender and the fact that I am trans, it has been liberating to leave makeup behind. I don’t wish to be judged on my appearance any more than the average man.
I don’t think that it’s right to put pressure on women to prettify themselves, it stops them being seen as anything other than eye candy and trivialises them. That has been my experience anyway.

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

The difference between men and women is as plain as the makeup on “their” face!

Wait. Are women stealing other people’s faces? I would have led with that over the makeup thing, personally.

Otrame
Otrame
5 years ago

I hated makeup from pretty much the first time I wore it. I hated the feel of it on my face. It almost made me claustrophobic. Also, I have a heavy fold of skin on my eyelids and wear glasses, so eye shadow was pretty much useless. When I felt I had to, I put on lipstick and a bit of eyeliner, maybe some powder.

I ended up in a job where makeup was not a good idea, at least while in the field. Every year a new slate of students found out what happens to makeup when doing physical labor in a South Texas summer ( it tends to drip off your chin). The makeup thing wasn’t why I worked that job, but I considered it a hell of a bonus.

All that said, I know lots of women who like the way they look in makeup, and they should damned well wear it if they like. As should men.

As for the boy (clearly not a mature man) who wants women to stop wearing makeup: You know damned well you look down on women who don’t wear makeup.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
5 years ago

@ Viscaria:

Wait. Are women stealing other people’s faces?

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