By David Futrelle
So. Some of the dudes on MGTOW.com were having a discussion of “dating health risks” a while back, and naturally the talk turned quickly to semen.
Because of course it did. Men (Ostensibly) Going Their Own Way are nearly as obsessed with semen as their incel brothers in misogyny are — specifically with the Chad semen that they’re convinced lingers on for months in the assorted orifices of women who have sex with men other than them, i.e., the vast majority of women.
“Even if a chick doesn’t have any STDs,” wrote a regular MGTOW.com commenter called Sky-O.
There is no way to test to find out how many loads she swallowed before you get a chance to kiss her.
Seriously.
No way to know how much semen was in her mouth before you kiss her.
You might wonder why that’s something a Man (Ostensibly) Going His Own Way would care about, since he’s (Ostensibly) Going Hus Own Way and all that, but most MGTOWs seem to think that it’s fine to have sex with the women they’re (Ostensibly) Going Their Own Way from so long as they treat these women with the appropriate level of disdain.
So that’s part of the reason for this fixation. The other is that most MGTOWs really do seem to believe that semen leaves behind some of hidden residue on and in women that essentially never goes away. So if you kiss a woman who isn’t a virgin, you are essentially kissing every dick that has ever been there before you.
And these dudes just can’t stop thinking about this. Literally.
“Usually my first thought when talking with any potential partner is ‘whose cum residue is on her teeth?’” a commenter called xeonon confessed, “Immediate turn off. Can’t kiss them, forget licking them … .”
Your first thought? Seriously?
Whose “cum residue” is on her TEETH?
Dude. DUDE. DUUUUUUDE. Dude.
So I guess we can add teeth to the long list of body parts that MGTOWs really don’t seem to understand.
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Nice to know that most MGTOW have yet to learn about the extraordinary invention known as the tooth brush. I guess basic hygene is like basic biology or decency, one of the things they need to learn more about.
This is “grossest”?!
You know dang well this crowd can get far, far, -far- worse than this. I’m catching up on IT and -that- is the grosses stuff I’ve read today.
p.s. Someone should tell Skippy the Wonderbrain that, like chewing gum, it’s a myth that semen sticks in your stomach — or mouth — for seven years.
After too many Chad dicks, women’s mouths develop chipmunk pouches to hold the batches of spooge. These women then save it to enhance the flavor of chicken wings, tacos, and salad. They can also spit the baby sauce only the MGTOWs who approach them. They sometimes sneak it into things when they take a bite of an unsuspecting man’s food.
It’s true because I just made it up.
Of course, MGTOWs never have had anything in their mouths that anyone could ever consider gross, ever. They have never accidentally ingested dust. They (lucky ducks) have never vomited. They don’t even have saliva in their mouths, because spit is kind of gross, right? Clearly their salivary glands produce pure, fresh water (and somehow their digestion still works).
Of course! It’s just women who are icky. Best to avoid those dick-sucking slutmonsters and preserve your Incorruptible Pure Purity, MGTOWs!
@ jon;
I had a wonderful vision of a woman spitting Chad semen like a llama, to deter MGTOWs and Incels from approaching her. The idea has made my day.
hold on… by definition, a MGTOW CAN’T talk to a “potential partner!”
I mean, it’s one thing for these fucknoses to claim they are “Going Their Own Way” while obsessively whining about women 24/7, it’s another fucking thing entirely to say that while STILL DATING WOMEN.
the whole fucking point of their “movement” is that they’re removing themselves from the dating pool and it’s supposed to make women sooooo sad they stop being feminists or something. or just free their lives up to “self-improvement” and sex robots, maybe.
Can we talk about how the Chad spunk makes it especially impossible to *lick* a date’s teeth? Their teeth. Ok? Teeth.
One question, how do these dudes eat if they’re convinced that semen leaves invisible cooties that hang around forever?
Because don’t tell me they just use their right hands for typing!
Do they even realize that women drink water and eat food, as well as salivating and brushing their teeth — all of which washes that nasty sploodge from other guys right out of there?
Oh yeah, I forgot. They literally expect us to be sex dolls, intact out of the box. Just blow ’em up…
MGTOWs don’t brush their teeth so they assume others don’t either.
Apparently in MGTOWland there are no non-virgin women who have never performed oral sex on a guy. Or have only performed it on a guy when some sort of protection was involved.
I think it’s more the idea of semen having at some point touched the woman’s mouth. It’s kind of like when a murder happens and the property values of the place where it happened go down. Of course, it’s a double standard, as Michael Long pointed out. It’s also not that far off from other bizarre anti-sex myths covered by this blog, like the vagina somehow getting looser specifically with different sex partners, which are depressingly common.
What bugs me is that these guys are just the extremes of the misery produced by this toxic patriarchal society. These are just the dudes who chose to embrace their misery and spread it to others out of spite.
For most of my life since puberty, my first thought when contemplating a potential date has usually been, “I’m too fat / ugly / socially awkward to make friends, never mind actually get to date someone.” Then if I somehow got over that part — the girl would return my feelings, we’d have fun times, maybe even romantic fun times — the next thought would be, “I’d like to have sex with this girl. It would really suck not to have that intimacy.” And the third thought would be, “I don’t want to deal with drama. I have too much drama in my life as it is.”
My family continually saddled me with unrealistic and contradictory expectations of body image and work ethic. I had a lot of trouble making actual friends ever since my first school transfer (only in various Asperger’s/autism-related groups did anyone even bother to invite me to stuff). I grew up in a conservative religious community that makes a Big Deal out of premarital sex. This was made worse by the old sex ed curriculum (the one that Doug Ford brought back because why not) deals far more in scaring kids about the risks of sex than in discussing sex as a mutually consensual and enjoyable activity. And then both church and the media were always depicting dating as this scary drama-filled affair that would potentially break whole communities apart. Suffice to say, I think people thought I was ace.
I think the worst part is that it’s just been so hard not only to get out of the toxic mindsets that the community around me instilled, but also to leave and try making new connections or rebuilding connections that were lost because of my various hang-ups. It’s horrifying to see so many people I know slide deeper into authoritarian ideologies like those spouted by Jordan Peterson and various evangelical leaders. I want to get out but it’s been so hard. I got a job just recently, but even with disability benefits it’s not nearly enough to afford a place in Toronto without having to deal with potential scams and poorly maintained apartments (not to mention the benefits are reduced by half of my pay, which really makes no sense with what tax rates tend to be). I’ve managed to put together some semblance of a support network consisting of employment agencies and Asperger’s/autism-related groups, but the nature of these places is that they’re on break for the two weeks during and after Christmas. I don’t know if I can handle waiting the 4-7 days that it will probably take for all my emails to be answered.
I mean, if these guys think that wiping their ass is too much trouble, it’s not exactly surprising that they’ve never heard of toothbrushes.
Who’s shocked that MGTOW are bad kissers? Not me!
OMG, mandatory…
I think when our guy here refers to licking, he means oral sex. I could be wrong.
All I can think of after reading this is that Seinfeld ep where Jerry dropped his girlfriend’s toothbrush in the toilet by accident, and then couldn’t kiss her, even when she’d effectively blasted her mouth clean.
@An Impish Pepper
I love your user name – what’s it referencing?
Your situation sounds rough alright. Kudos to you for getting through so much in one piece.
I wonder if any of our Canadian Mammotheers, especially those from Toronto, have suggestions?
Not only that, then there’s all the old semen residue on her vaginal teeth.
Well that wasn’t as bad. It could have been much worse.
Seeing the title, I thought: “Oh, I do that, too. Oral hygiene is important…” and after reading the rest of it; “… Okay, then.”
We’re as usual left to wonder how much of a problem this really poses for the average miggie.
You know what else has been in my mouth? Chicken feet. That’s probably the grossest thing that’s been in my mouth. Also snails. And crickets. And spotted dick. And haggis. And dirt.
So, semen is like cooties, then.
That seems grade-level-appropriate for your average MGTOW, education-wise…
Sees headline, thinks, “this is gonna be another semen-related post, isn’t it?” ?
I’ll say this for the MGTOols, they are consistent in their hangups…
@ rugbyyogi
Well that’ll teach you to play rugby with them. You know how they like to put the boot in in the ruck.
So it’s liquid gold until…?
Oh silly me.
Everything kng Midas touched tured to gold.
Everything Trump touches dies.
Everything a woman touches turs to cooties.
Spooge is liquid gold until it touches a woman. Then it’s disgusting. Obviously.
/sarcasm