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“MrDeadMoth Did Nothing Wrong!” Nazis, toxic gamers defend “Fortnite” streamer caught on video allegedly beating his wife

Luke James Munday, a.k.a MrDeadMoth

By David Futrelle

On Sunday, the Australian “Fortnite” streamer known as MrDeadMoth was arrested after inadvertently broadcasting an argument with his wife that ended with him — just off camera — allegedly hitting her in the face while one of their children screamed in the background.

Naturally, some of the internet’s worst people are defending him and blaming his wife for “provoking” him into hitting her.

“MrDeadMoth didn’t do anything Wrong,” declared someone calling himself Burrito6920 on Reddit’s UnpopularOpinion subreddit.

Let’s say he did hit her. Guess what, she fucking deserves it. She’s a loud, shitty wife. She throws shit at him and acts like she’s more important than him. If your man tells you to leave him the fuck alone, you leave him the fuck alone. … If he hit her it can be justified as self defense from her verbal and physical harassment.

And even if it’s not legally justifiable, she’s a fucking bitch. Just because she’s pregnant doesn’t make her better than or special over anybody else. … [A]ny person that’s that much of a c*nt needs to be taught not to be such a c*nt.

While this opinion has indeed proven to be an unpopular one on r/UnpopularOpinion, with other Redditors voting the post down to zero, similar arguments have been getting a much more welcoming reception on KotakuInAction, Reddit’s main forum for reactionary gamers, a subreddit that still officially describes itself as “the main hub for GamerGate on Reddit.”

“She was abusing and violent towards him,” someone called Gathrax asserted in a comment in a KotakuInACtion discussion of the incident.

Everything she did was to make it sound as bad as possible on stream. This was classic female vindictive abuse.

They both suck but I am sick of people saying it was his fault when all he did was a simple Sean Connery to get her to stop abusing him and maybe even abusing the kid. 

This comment got 77 upvotes from fellow KotakuInAction readers.

“I don’t want to say she’s ‘asking for it’ but she’s basically asking for it,” another commenter called tosi-ebin opined.

A classic case of “how long can my man take abuse and try and de-escalate the situation before he loses his shit”. The “crying” stops real quick and she comes back for more each time.

Tosi-ebin got 38 upvotes for this, er, wisdom.

“Ladies, at this point, can we all just admit that an ass whoopin’ just doesn’t fall out of the goddamn sky?” wrote yet another KotakuInAction commenter called astonwave.

Don’t get me wrong, they’re both horrible fucking people for putting their child in this situation, but she essentially instigated this by throwing shit at him, and people are surprised he’d had enough and retaliated?

A commenter called spliffcitycanada joked “Save yourselves, go mgtow.”

All of these comments also got upvoted by the KotakuInAction gang.

Meanwhile, over on the internet Nazi tip sheet the Daily Stormer, one of the site’s regular contributors offered a strikingly similar, if somewhat more colorfully worded, defense of the alleged wife beater — then worked some anti-Semitism into the mix.

“Twitch Streamer MrDeadMoth Arrested for Defending Self Against Hysterical Aggressive Fronthole” the headline blared.

In the article itself, the Daily Stormer’s “Luis Castillo” attacked the wife for not being properly appreciative of her husband.

“This man apparently gave this woman a place to live and have kids, and bought her some food for her to cook for him, which she cooked as a service to him,” he wrote.

Then she went full aggro on him for not eating the food she made for him. …

Women will do any sort of shit they can get away with. This used to not even be a problem, because our grandfathers used to not let them get away with stupid shit. This continues to not be a problem outside of the West, because non-Westerners continue to not let their women get away with stupid shit.

This is only a problem in the West, now, because the Jews created Feminism and pushed it on us through their control of our cultural institutions and legal system.

Most of the Daily Stormers commenters agreed.

“This is the perfect example of a psycho wife using psychological assault,” declared a commenter called ashenone.

“The pimp-slap heard aroud the world” someone calling himself Xbowjoe1 joked.

“He should have fucking punched her in the mouth and locked her in a room and told her to think about what she did,” declared bossn*gger.

But not every Daily Stormer commenter was quite so impressed with MrDeadMoth. Someone called Alt-Reich attacked him as a “f*ggot” — not for beating his wife, but for playing video games in the first place.

That guys is a fucking f*g and a disgrace as a dad, how many hours has he been playing that game …

[A]re you seriously defending this f*ggot! A lot of men seem to know all there is about how fucked up women are now (they are), but they need to take a good look in the mirror, because they too have become absolute disgraces as Men…

Jews own most guys now, they have fucked up the men as much as the women … .

It shouldn’t be much of a shock to see commenters on Reddit’s “main hub for GamerGate” in close agreement with Daily Stormer Nazis — that last anti-gamer comment notwithstanding.

The Daily Stormer’s Andrew Anglin cut his political teeth — and learned how to troll — in the fetid misogynistic and anti-Semitic swamp that is 4chan’s /pol/ board. 4chan also helped to birth the GamerGate movement and the reactionary gamer culture left in its wake; GamerGate was steeped in fascist (and often blatantly antisemitic) imagery even before the resurgence of the far-right in 2015 and 2016.

Of course, during the heyday of GamerGate, commenters on KotakuInAction at least generally tried to pretend that they weren’t raging misogynists. They don’t seem to feel the need to bother any more.

You can see the whole incident these lovely people are arguing about here.

H/T — Thanks to Twitter’s @0utofBeta  for tipping me off about this.

We Hunted the Mammoth is independent and ad-free, and relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!

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kupo
kupo
1 year ago

Let’s keep in mind that fighting back is a good way to get a woman dead. Which will, of course, be blamed on her for fighting back and escalating (just look at the responses to this incident). Also, leaving the relationship is another good way for a woman to get dead. And yet the “solutions” offered are always about those two things being the best options and never about how to get men to stop abusing their partners and family. 🤔

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
1 year ago

@Rhuu – apparently an illiterati

Beeeeliiiieve me; I agree that prevention, avoidance and de-escalation is best and I agree that in this situation this young woman walloping him would’ve made things worse.

I wrote what I wrote in a moment of anger and I tend to get ridiculous. I still stand by the general concept of a woman being able to fight back but I agree that deescalation is better.

Sometimes; Being a “victim” is the best self-defense or a means of protecting others, like what this woman likely did, see the abusive partner in your life on Livestream….where A LOT OF PEOPLE will see you getting pummeled (hoping that your abuser gets arrested and you can get the heck out of there). If outsiders see what goes on on a regular basis at home….hey….whatever works!

….It’s a similar concept with kids who set up a secret camera in their room so the regular abuse can get caught on camera. I’d say such survivors are as strong and badass as any Xena or Rey.

Perhaps it’s worse to be broken mentally than physically. I’m happy when a survivor is able to recover and heal and perhaps fight back in other ways (like fight for reforms or fight for their attacker to get convicted or whatever) or move on and thrive….They refuse to let the perp beat them….thus; the perp FAILED!

But if a survivor is broken, they still deserve our compassion and support. Not everyone is Red Sonja or The Bride.

I need to not be a big ball of hatred and replace my hatred of evil people with pity. Even evil people are broken and may have dysfunctional brains. It’s better to hate their actions but not them personally. You can still strive to punish evil and not literally loathe the perp. We are all interconnected.

Hate messed you up. Folks like Jesus and Buddha were right.

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
1 year ago

“Hate messes you up” I meant.

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
1 year ago

@kupo

So how do you get a guy to stop abusing his partners and family?

Until you give us an answer that can be used NOW, then “fight” or “dump” are indeed the best options. Also; One can work for laws or take measures to make sure an abusive partner doesn’t kill the person who “fights” or “dumps”.

Your solution, as it is, is for victims to “take it” helplessly until we can change the culture.

But that takes effort and years and victims have a RIGHT to do something “in the meantime”.

What about the NOW?

“Just taking it” means death too.

I know you and a few others have “been there” but I just don’t accept not leaving or not fighting.

Yes; I agree with de-escalation and I agree with even letting yourself get victimized on camera so others will see and intervene but I generally regret just being a passive victim who just takes it when leaving would be better.

If an abusive ex-partner tries to kill the one who left them, then perhaps it’s high time we work on better protection laws as well as TEACH THE ESCAPED HOW TO DUMP THAT ABUSIVE JERK IN A WAY THAT IS SAFE!

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

@SpukiKitty

No seriously though, your feelings are valid, and your perceptions about indoctrination against fighting back are *correct*. Movies and TV portray men’s bodies as much more invulnerable than they are in reality. Men rescuing helpless women (and then going to bed with them) is such a ubiquitous trope that a lot of people don’t even notice it. You’re responsible for how you handle your anger, but your *feeling* that anger is inevitable and okay. You don’t have to swallow it. It’s okay to feel it. The things you see are real.

This isn’t to say that violence is always a good option – it’s usually a terrible one IMO, for a lot of reasons – but y’all, we need to recognize that learned helplessness is a thing, and is *heavily* pushed by our culture. It’s in our favorite Disney movies FFS. Most boys learn to rescue women and then take advantage, most girls are taught to wait for a rescuer. And following this is in no way the fault of a victim. Many of us never learn differently.

Also? I’m in the same boat as you re: abuse, and I can recognize a PTSD trigger rant when I see one. <3 Your behavior is your responsibility, but your feelings are valid, and it is *completely okay* to despise your abusers.

@All

I really don't want to come off as, like, promoting violence against abusers as a universal solution. It isn't. But I needed to post this, because even die-hard feminists, IME, will often dismiss each other about things like damsel tropes and male invulnerability, and what I've seen referred to as the mythology of rape (i.e. where the rapist is an invincible god).

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

@SpukiKitty

Okay there’s a lot going on here.

Basically, these situations are complex. A lot of times a person will have become dependent on their abuser for essential things, or there will be a kid in the mix who could be in danger, or the abuser is just really charming and persuasive. Empowering victims to fight back is important, but it’s *not nearly enough* by itself; they also need a community, they need resources, they need counseling, they need to have other people (preferably not cis dudes, sorry not sorry) who they can bounce their experiences off of and understand that what they’re going through *is actually abuse*.

It’s not just a problem of physical helplessness. That alone wouldn’t do it, as I think you’ve already realized – in this society a wimpy dork of a guy can effectively hold his wife hostage even if she’s a boxer or something, there’s more going on:

– Capitalism and money resource problems
– Lack of knowledge about abuse
– Social abuse and control
– Complicity in gaslighting by media, friends, school systems…
– Institutional misogyny constraints
– Racism, queerphobia, transphobia, ableism, all that shit

I spent most of my life being horribly abused by my dad, probably including sexual abuse at certain points (I don’t remember all of it because trauma). I didn’t even *realize* it was that serious a level of abuse, and how terrible a person he was, until I got far away from him – and found friends who knew about abuse, queer friends and allies, therapists who believed me, etc. I’ve only just begun recovering from how he treated me.

Or: one of my partners last year was emotionally and physically abusive. She was also incredibly charming, fun to be around when she was being decent, and extremely good in bed. And yet she freely violated my boundaries when she saw fit. Even if I had been able to fight back against her physically – and at the time I wasn’t, this woman was an armed forces vet and built like a tank – I would *not have wanted to*, because I loved and respected and wanted to protect her, and wanted to stay in her favor. EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS ABUSIVE. It took a lot of talking with friends, and a lot of retrospective thinking about my own experiences, to realize I had to run, and to understand how to go about it.

Short version: abuse isn’t just about one power differential, it involves the intersection of many, many different power differentials to create a context that is very hard to escape even with resources. Teaching victims how they can fight back, and teaching people how not to abuse in the first place, are both important, and also both tiny parts.

And really IMO endemic abuse of women and queers will not stop being a thing until capitalism, patriarchy, white supremacy, and colonialism all stop being things. *This is a social problem, not a personal one.*

Hope that helps.

Full Metal Ox
1 year ago

@SpukiKitty:

Sometimes; Being a “victim” is the best self-defense or a means of protecting others, like what this woman likely did, see the abusive partner in your life on Livestream….where A LOT OF PEOPLE will see you getting pummeled (hoping that your abuser gets arrested and you can get the heck out of there). If outsiders see what goes on on a regular basis at home….hey….whatever works!

….It’s a similar concept with kids who set up a secret camera in their room so the regular abuse can get caught on camera. I’d say such survivors are as strong and badass as any Xena or Rey.

Or as any Lisbeth Salander, the titular Girl With the Dragon Tattoo; that was one of the measures she took against the court-appointed guardian who molested her, using it to blackmail him into (A) leaving her the fuck alone and (B) giving her access to her own damn money–he’d been exacting sexual favors in return for her allowance.

(She also famously repaid him in exact coin for a particularly violent rape and then proceeded to apply a warning label to the package, but not everyone is prepared to go to action-movie lengths.)

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

Also, just being completely candid… CN: violent rhetoric, mental health stuff

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

I’ve been known to go on rants about wanting to kill every man on Earth when I’m in bad trauma headspaces. This is not a view I actually hold outside those headspaces, thank gods, and I’ve been slowly learning more about controlling those triggers and flashes of rage. All the same, it’s one of the things that makes me stay away from guys as partners, even though I’m bi.

This is one of the ways PTSD can work, and also one of the ways it can bend us survivors towards being abusive ourselves.

Take good care of yourselves, find chosen family who support you, seek knowledge and healing. You Are Not Alone.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

Your solution, as it is, is for victims to “take it” helplessly until we can change the culture.

Don’t you fucking DARE put those words into my mouth. That is reprehensible that you take my observation about how the onus is on women to fix the fucking problem and you turn it into me advocating for victims to “take it.”

I have been a victim if IPV. I know how fucking dangerous it is to fight back. How quickly it escalates. How badly you get gaslit into thinking it was all your fault. How it escalates when you show any sign of leaving. DO NOT put words into my mouth.

Edit:

But that takes effort and years and victims have a RIGHT to do something “in the meantime”.

Of course they have a right to. But it’s dangerous. And what I see from multiple directions, including you, is demanding that they do, rather than respcting their right to choose how they respond.

Megi Stardust
Megi Stardust
1 year ago

Spukikitty

Patriarchy not only buffaloes women psychologically, but actually breeds female strength out of the gene pool by favoring fragile, passive women as partners.
And men in almost every culture on earth are fed better than women.

Who knows how much more equal we would be if we were allowed to eat properly…

Megi Stardust
Megi Stardust
1 year ago

@cyborgette

*It’s a social problem, not a personal one*

I partially agree with you there.
Even in the current social situation, people can, and some do, choose to be better.

Jane Done
Jane Done
1 year ago

I don’t have the links on me, but I recall reading a peer reviewed study that showed that women underestimate their physical strength and men overestimate their physical strength. And let’s not forget that the majority of female pro athletes are viciously attacked for…being athletic.

I also recall a meta analysis of over a dozen peer reviewed studies on domestic abuse and women who act in self defence. It came to the conclusion that women are exceptionally good at judging the scenario and reacting in the right way to survive, which can include, but not always, self defence.

Long story short, victims (male or female ofc) are doing literally everything they possibly can, while society, men as a class, etc, are doing jack shit.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
1 year ago

Okay, i’m’a do a ramble here. Nothing hostile, I don’t think. I’m not directing this at anyone, and I’m not angry, but I really think this has to be said.

So how do you get a guy to stop abusing his partners and family?

Until you give us an answer that can be used NOW, then “fight” or “dump” are indeed the best options. Also; One can work for laws or take measures to make sure an abusive partner doesn’t kill the person who “fights” or “dumps”.

We trust the person who’s being abused to do what’s right for them in that moment. Even knowing that people often make mistakes, people often don’t do what’s right for them.

I don’t know the poor woman who was assaulted there, but I trust her to do the best she can, because that’s what we do. We do the best we can.

Casting doubt on her minimizes her, makes her as much a victim as the abuser does. Makes her the subject of our own decisions instead of a source of her own; subordinates her.

Trust her. Trust her. Help her, give her an outside perspective, give her resources and a way out, give her a shoulder to cry on and a sympathetic ear. But trust her.

That’s the answer we have, now, and that’s what Kupo was saying. We don’t say that she’s wrong in taking that abuse – we trust her to behave in a way that keeps her alive and keeps her as safe as possible, and we help in whatever way we can that honours her choices.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
1 year ago

High fives @Jane Done, bringin the literature. Thanks.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

Ugh

*offers @kupo hugs and sympathies*

I’m sorry – I didn’t realize how hard on you this convo and SpukiKitty’s behavior were.

kupo
kupo
1 year ago

@Cyborgette
Thanks for the hugs. I was trying to avoid engaging because we’ve done this before but I just can’t sit here and take this.

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
1 year ago

Thank you for teaching me about things and forgive me, Kupo, for saying what I said (though I didn’t intend to mean it in the way you thought it meant).

I agree that there’s a lot of work to be done and I agree that it’s dangerous to try to do something about it if you’re in that situation at times and I know I shouldn’t force someone to fight back, leave or whatever if they don’t have the will, ability or means.

That said; Since it’ll take years to undo THOUSANDS of years of Patriarchy, we really need solutions that, while not perfect, can help in the meantime….because people in abusive situations deserve hope and a chance. Everyone needs safety and deserves it and should be able to get it.

I’m sorry, Kupo, but by “sit and take it” I never meant WILLINGLY. I meant “be helpless and have nothing to be able to do to change things”. I refuse that answer! That’s a lie and fatalism.

And I refuse to wait YEARS for Patriarchy to completely end before seeing it feasible for someone to do something about their lot in life.

No; It’s not your fault if you can’t defend yourself. Yes; The culture must change and the onus should never be on the oppressed party alone.

I’m speaking as PLAINLY as I can. Writing as clearly as I can! Covering as many bases as I can so that no one misinterprets what I say…..but they still misinterpret!

Everyone reads something in my sentences that is not there! READ PEOPLE!

OKAY! EXERCISE TIME; I WANT EACH PERSON TO WRITE THEIR INTERPRETATION OF MY PAST FEW COMMENTS AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK I MEAN. THEN; I WILL CLEAR UP ANY MISCONCEPTIONS YOU HAVE. DEAL? (These all-caps are not anger. Just emphasis)….

Jesalin: Clit-o-centric Lesbian Goddess
Jesalin: Clit-o-centric Lesbian Goddess
1 year ago

Yeah, no.

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
1 year ago

To Kupo….I’m so sorry….
comment image
….I hate seeing you hurt. I hate seeing anyone hurt. I also regret the tone of my last post. I wrote out of frustration.

* I am not advocating violence or fighting back. I know that in some cases, it can make things worse.
* I am not saying that victims are asking for it or that the onus is on the victim/survivor to fight back, escape, recover, etc.
* I do understand that there’s a lot in society that needs to be changed.

My problem is is that I refuse to accept that in some situations, there nothing one can do and no escape. Even if the victim can’t escape, surely someone on the outside can help out.

It’s that feeling of helplessness. Progress is too damn slow!

Jesalin: Clit-o-centric Lesbian Goddess
Jesalin: Clit-o-centric Lesbian Goddess
1 year ago

(Sorry for the double post, but editing no longer seems to be a thing)

How about instead of telling people how they misinterpreted you, you say what you mean? Although I gather you did that the first time around so…yeah, I don’t see how telling people that they aren’t understanding what you mean, makes things any better..

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

@Kupo

Welcome, and aye, I understand. You’re not alone either.

@SpukiKitty

Okay, I felt I had to back you on your trauma stuff, but right now you’re being a jerk. And disingenuous.

Your wrote:

“I’m sorry, Kupo, but by “sit and take it” I never meant WILLINGLY. I meant “be helpless and have nothing to be able to do to change things”. I refuse that answer! That’s a lie and fatalism.”

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Non-apology_apology

Fake apologies are an abuse tactic.

Putting words in people’s mouths is an abuse tactic.

Trying to pass your anger and passive aggression off as calm and reasonable is an abuse tactic. (And, honestly, the one my dad used against more more than any other. Believe me, I’m good at recognizing that shit.)

Being a trauma survivor doesn’t make you immune to behaving toxicly yourself. Do better.

Edit: bloody hell, I’m bad at keeping up with things tonight.

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
1 year ago

I just feel like I’m trying to make a point but it’s complex and it’s coming out all wrong.

I have ADHD and not the best communicator. May there’s something wrong with me.

We’ve had this conversation before. I tried to avoid it by being as clear and precise as possible….choosing my words carefully and even bringing up how other might misconstrue what I say….but to no avail.

It’s not you, it’s me. I’m an idiot and am not getting something.

I never do good on this board.

I am on your side. I’m a long-time commenter on FSTDTs, I’m as Prog as hell and a full-blown Feminist.

Maybe the reason why I’m not getting it is that I do get the point you’re making but refuse to accept it because it’s not what I want….or I’m having a hard time comprehending your point….or both.

And I’m the wrong words….which have different meanings from what you see as the meaning of the words.

Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
1 year ago

The saddest part of this video I think is she made him dinner((( I usually cook at home for my gf, and I know the horrible feeling when she doesn’t want to eat what I made (maybe she is busy) or she gets upset because I made something that she didn’t really want. We sometimes argue about that, because it hurts my feelings and becuase she doesnt like to cook she is not aware that I put a lot of effort and my main goal is that she is happy. So I can really sympathise from this woman’s perspective and maybe why she is upset. But it is worse because her partner is abusive and apparently does not care if he hits her. So if something which is a small and common arguement for many couples already means he will make physical abuse, what is it like when the arguement is more serious? Which type of situation is her “normal” day?

note: I can’t watch the video becuase I’m at sea but I read the descriptions here and on Twitter & some other places this video was discussed.

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
1 year ago

@Cyborgette

That’s not what I meant!

If I inadvertently sounded like an abuser, I’m sorry.

Even in defending myself, I’m burying myself deeper.

Here’s my stuff from FSTDTs so you know I’m a real person who’s on your side and not a MRA Jerk pretending and trolling….
http://www.fstdt.com/Search.aspx?Author=SpukiKitty
….I want to be your friend! I’m one of you!

These are all the FSTDTs comment threads where I comment on some Frummy’s antics.

You’ll see that the person writing as me writes the same way as me. Also; Many of the commenter “get” what I’m trying to say.

I am not an abuser. I am not a misogynist. I am not a victim-blamer.

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
1 year ago

What am I doing wrong? I don’t understand. Why must you act like a clique? You’re not even trying to help me understand!

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
1 year ago

I’m sorry, everyone. Please keep this thread going. Don’t end it.

Jesalin: Clit-o-centric Lesbian Goddess
Jesalin: Clit-o-centric Lesbian Goddess
1 year ago

What am I doing wrong? I don’t understand.

Good start.

Why must you act like a clique? You’re not even trying to help me understand!

And fumbled.

I’m not entirely sure, but I think there are at least a few neuroatypical regulars here.

In any case, if you want to understand, ask questions, like in that first quote block. And…refraining from accusing people of ganging up on you is probably a good idea too. That second quote block is called blame-shifting.

Being atyp in a neurotyp world is hard.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
1 year ago

@Spukikitty,

Take a nice couple of measured breaths, have some water, calm down a bit, my duck. Kitty. Duck. Animal-of-choice. You feel strongly about this, for good reason. And that’s okay! You’re not saying that people have to fight back, you’re saying that you want them to fight back. You’re saying it strongly.

The issue, sadly, is that an opinion, voiced strongly, is basically the same as a directive as far as communication is concerned. It relies on the audience accepting that anger and dealing with it, managing it, and recognizing that the anger isn’t part of the message. It’s just the volume.

When someone gets upset, angry, loud in volume, etc, it’s a typical thing for a community to retract a bit. It’s nothing to do with a clique, It’s out of a desire to avoid conflict.

I’ll be more direct. Expressed anger clouds what you mean to say. Puts readers on the defensive, even if they aren’t the target of the anger. The expression of anger itself is enough to trigger that response. It makes your words seem more confrontational than you intend, and makes readers think that you are confronting them, even if you aren’t.

That’s not just advice for you. It’s advice for me, too. My last name here means “freedom from anger”, and it’s more a reminder to myself than it is any sort of description of who I am. Not yet, at least.

Your anger is important and shouldn’t be bottled. That’s not healthy. Your anger is valid, and shouldn’t be denigrated. That’s unfair. Just try to avoid mixing them, if you can. I’ve walked that road, and it’s not easy, but it’s crucial in making sure people understand what you mean to say, and not just the words as written.

I am a little drunk so this is more rambly than it needs to be but you’re all gettin it raw and unfiltered. Mea culpa.

EDIT: I lied, i done an edit. hahahaha!

Catalpa
Catalpa
1 year ago

@Rhuu

Sorry, it just dawned on me… Have we already had this conversation? You suggesting that all women need to fight, people reply with “do the best that you can in the situation, which means you fight, flee, de-escalate, whatever, but do what you think will get you out of there”, then you apologise and say that you just get so angry?

Yup, we’ve had this exact same discussion with Spukikitty before. Seems like it’s going to be a reoccuring event:

https://wehuntedthemammoth.com/2017/09/07/check-out-my-the-cut-piece-on-betsy-devos-and-her-terrible-campus-rape-announcement/comment-page-2/#comment-1652301

In the meantime, women need to learn self-defense so that males can be totally owned by the stronger, superior female.

In prehistoric times, women were strong! Women fought the mighty sabretooth cat to protect her young.

Women need to regain their birthright. Women are just as strong as men….and him having more brawn means nothing when SHE HAS SPEED, FIRE AND SHAKTI!

Heed the lesson of the She-bear, folks….The male bear is TECHNICALLY bigger and stronger….but the female bear is still capable of owning him in a fight. Threaten her cubs and it’s GAME OVER, BOY!

This is a trait in ALL mammals! Women are primates! Primates are mammals! An angry ape is a SCARY ape!

If the authorities refuse to protect us, it is UP TO US to kick ass ourselves!

Males may technically have more physical strength but THAT MEANS NOTHING! It’s not the size of the dog in the fight but the size of the fight in the dog.

YES! We need to change the culture, fight the system and teach males to be real men and not misogynists….but women and girls still need to learn how to knock a rape-boy’s face into the pavement!

Women seem incapable of fighting men because we’ve been mentally primed with the lie for centuries that males a so much more powerful and we’re so weak and it messes up our psyches that we turn to jello when threatened by a guy who’s scrawny and the exact same size as us! How pitiful is that?! A strong, physically-fit woman who’s 5’8 being super-overpowered by a scrawny 5’8 guy!

Pie
Pie
1 year ago

@Megi Stardust

Patriarchy… actually breeds female strength out of the gene pool by favoring fragile, passive women as partners.

Uh, no. That’s not how humans work. There’s more wrong in your statement than I can unpack in a reasonable amount of time, though. Suffice to say that humans don’t breed true. Also, given the sex ratio in most human populations, you’d need to persuade a load of unattached men that they mustn’t have sex or form relationships with tough, strong, single women who want families.

Patriarchy is very effective on a social/cultural level, but don’t confuse that with population genetics.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
1 year ago

There’s also the minor little matter that if men did select exclusively weak women, the effect would be to create a selective pressure for weak humans, not weak women. Most genes influencing physical strength and the like are on autosomes and almost nothing important is on the Y, the only sex-exclusive chromosome, save for SRY. Select against genes that increase strength and you breed weaker offspring, period.

In simpler language, you can’t really breed for one sex to have specific traits because all humans share a common gene pool.

That being said, sexual dimorphism happens, though there’s little of it in humans away from the genitals/breasts/overall-body-shape area. It’s a long and involved evolutionary road to get such dimorphism. Even thousands of years of selective breeding is unlikely to produce significantly different dimorphism in a species, other than maybe to tweak an already-dimorphic trait. Maybe millions of years could.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

Somewhat related: A site I read posted a link to this 5-minutes-into-the-future short story. It’s a bit hard to describe without spoileration but think maybe Black Mirror except considerably more upbeat & very much exploring the idea of abusers operating in an age of ubiquitous surveillance. (Content warning for some descriptions of sexual violence)

Jane Done
Jane Done
1 year ago

Well I found one of those citations

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/1077801206294807

The other one (where women underestimated their physical strength, and men overestimated) has been utterly buried beneath a mountain of MRA broscience rants and obesity opinion articles.

This is why I used to download copies or summaries of studies I saw, cause crucial information has a habit of going “missing” from google.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
1 year ago

@Jane Done

Thank you, and ugh. Kind of like what happened with stuff appearing to confirm huge male/female brain differences vs. stuff contradicting that.

@Jesalin

Yeah, I’m autistic, or at least outwardly close enough that it’s shaped my experiences of trauma and exploitation through my entire life. It has not been a fun trip. To this day predatory people, especially men, will notice my social awkwardness etc. and assume they can just freely mess with my head without consequences. (And get disgustingly offended when I call them on it.)

Edit: TBH I think I’ve met more autistic or otherwise non-NT trans folks than NT.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
1 year ago

@Cyborgette:

Edit: TBH I think I’ve met more autistic or otherwise non-NT trans folks than NT.

It is something that’s not gone unnoticed by TERFs either, who’ve used it to insinuate that autistic or non-NT teens are somehow being peer-pressured into transitioning and are not mentally competent to make this decision for themselves. Or they’re just broken. You know, just to add a soupçon of ableism to the already foul stew that is TERFism. 🙄

(It seems quite logical to me because people with autism spectrum disorders often have difficulty reading social cues and basically have to consciously perform many social rituals that come unconsciously to neurotypical people; so they are better placed to know when their gender “performance” doesn’t accord with their biology– if you accept Judith Butler’s theories of gender as a performative construct. Which I think I do, or at least my five-minutes-on-Wikipedia understanding of them 😉)

ellesar
ellesar
1 year ago

He has previous form:

Court documents relevant to Mr Munday’s bail revealed his 2018 common assault charge wasn’t the first time the 26-year-old has been in court for “matters involving violence”.

Mr Munday was convicted of the offences.

“The accused has been charged on two previous occasions in 2011 for malicious damage and common assault, both of which were not domestic related,” the document read.

DerangedDan
DerangedDan
1 year ago

There’s some bonus grossness to this whole story if you do a little math. Deadmoth is 26 and his wife is 21. Their oldest child is 3. That means that she was almost certainly pregnant when she was 17 and he was 22! And presumably their relationship existed for at least some time before that, which makes it seem an awful lot like he was grooming an underage girl.