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By David Futrelle
One incel Redditor thirsts for knowledge about something he clearly has no first-hand experience with:
This little query has unfortunately been deleted from the AskWomen subreddit, so unfortunately it remains unanswered. (I found it reposted in the Bad Women’s Anatomy subreddit, and alas, the regulars there have not themselves provided any serious answers on this most pressing of issues.)
The guy who originally posted it seems like a nice enough fellow, by which I mean Jesus Christ dude what the hell is wrong with you?
… the endless battle against the “Bugs”
megpie71
Hah! Didn’t get below 30 last night in my part of Adelaide. (For those still playing with old money, that means the whole of last night the temp stayed above 86F.)
Just to make Xmas shopping really funtimes for all, we have an almighty, lengthy heatwave approaching.. Will stretch from the NW coast of WA, sort of Pilbara region, all the way across and down the continent to Adelaide and Melbourne – looking at the meteorology maps is like the portents of doom. Because it’s a heawave, that means at least 3 days of hellish existence and, in some places, daytime max temps of 47ish (117F).
So back when I was 2, apparently I was standing around with my mouth open and a bee flew in, landed on my tongue, and started walking around. My mom told me to just stay calm and still until it left and I’d be fine.
She was right, of course, and I suspect that event played a part in my essential non-fear of – and indeed fascination with – insects and arachnids.
…as for the OP, there really are no words for that level of ignorance. I wonder how much he intentionally and proudly maintains it.
Yeah, that was an episode of House, the second season episode “Safe” where Michelle Trachenberg gets a tick in her hoo-ha (spoiler alert).
Not exactly a high point of the series.
I used to commute by bike. The path went along the river for a bit. So I cycled to work with a surgical mask on, because I really didn’t want that kind of second breakfast.
*boings a jaw harp*
Oh, there ain’t no bugs on me,
Ain’t no bugs on me,
There may be fleas on some HBs
But there ain’t no bugs on me.
Oh, there ain’t no bugs on me,
Ain’t no bugs on me,
There may be caddises on some o’ you Chadses
But there ain’t no bugs on me.
@Eddie: LOL
@Gaebolga: I suspect he doesn’t have to work very hard to maintain it. Incels aren’t exactly noted for their intellectual curiosity.
I guess trying to date incels would be like sitting on a bucket of crabs (either literal crabs or the pubic lice variety).
You’d have to reach down to catch any, they’d be holding each other down while clumsily trying to get a grab of you, and most importantly, you really shouldn’t try it in the first place.
I had a friend who was bit by a parasitic sort of insect, that later laid eggs in his ballsack and had to get surgery to get them removed, so there’s that.
Was told it was some sort of spider, but thinking back on it spiders don’t actually do that, do they?
And there you have the definition of colossal ignorance.
My answer would probably be: “When you sleep, do you worry about bugs crawling into your nose and removing what’s left of your brains?”
Funny enough, I once had a dream that there were ants crawling out of my vagina.
There was an old lady who swallowed a fly….???
Diego Duarte: they have bot flies in Ghana (mango flies in Kinshasa, putzi flies in Harare) that lay their eggs on wet fabric (think bathing suits hung up to dry) and the eggs transfer to a human body when the fabric is worn. The crotch area sounds pretty typical, although they can end up anywhere. The eggs burrow into the human body and pupate, and a small creepy grub emerges. It happens. I’ve seen it. It’s incredibly gross, in slow motion. The flies look like any ordinary housefly, and I’ve been known to freak when seeing flies in my house since I lived in Africa. I think they have similar bugs in Central/South America, but I’m not sure. But I don’t know where this happened to your friend?
Spiders are generally predatory, not parasitic. I’m not aware of any that lay their eggs inside any organism; usually they make an egg sac out of webbing and hide it somewhere safe or carry it with them. Spiders tend to eat living things that are close in size to them; they don’t eat chunks of larger creatures or dead flesh, which is what is provided to offspring that get laid inside of another creature. /spider apologism
Wasps are well known for laying their eggs inside other things to feed their hungry offspring, but that mostly happens to insects, or spiders, not people. Most of the things that lay their eggs in mammals/people are flies and ticks.
You know, this indescribably idiotic question reminds me of a roommate I had back in the 90’s when I was in grad school. He was in the college GOP, had no girlfriend, had no prospect of getting one and if he hasn’t come out of the closet yet, is mostly likely now one of those raving incels. Anyway, he once asked me why he couldn’t figure out women. “After all, I know how to tune a car.” I slapped my head and left the room laughing.
@Dust Bunny:
The nasty little fish exists. It’s called Candiru
https://www.decodedscience.org/candiru-a-dont-pee-in-the-water-horror-story-debunked/31635
The stories about urethra invasions seem to be urban legends but there are a few semi-sorta documented vaginal invasions.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Candiru
The do swim into the gill openings of other fish, open blood vessels and consume blood bwahahahaha. Human invasions are probably accidental: “Whoa, that’s one huge fish.”
I only worry about it as much as men worry about bugs going up their dick holes and butt holes.