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By David Futrelle
One incel Redditor thirsts for knowledge about something he clearly has no first-hand experience with:
This little query has unfortunately been deleted from the AskWomen subreddit, so unfortunately it remains unanswered. (I found it reposted in the Bad Women’s Anatomy subreddit, and alas, the regulars there have not themselves provided any serious answers on this most pressing of issues.)
The guy who originally posted it seems like a nice enough fellow, by which I mean Jesus Christ dude what the hell is wrong with you?
I think what’s wrong with him is he has a parasite that entered his body thru his penis while he slept at night and migrated to , and ate, the good sense centers of his brain.
More worried about my ears because that’s actually happened.
Do you worry about bugs crawling up your butt? Then no.
i was once asked this question by a 7 year old girl i was babysitting. please tell me most men don’t have a 7 year old’s understanding of anatomy……..
Dude.
I mean, DUDE. What?
Why can’t he ask a more sensible question, like “Where exactly is the clitoris?”
Well.
It appears this person never heard Maurice Switzer’s maxim, “It is better to remain silent at the risk of being thought a fool, than to talk and remove all doubt of it.”
Then again, as he’s incel, that’s pretty much a given, in’it?
Yes i did fear that while squatting to pee. But only bc i was stoned
???
I don’t have bugs in my bedroom.
And if I happen to sleep outside it’s either daytime and I’m fully clothed or I’m in a sleeping bag.
I’m more worried about mosquitoes flying up my nose.
It has happened. And a mosquito bite inside the nose is rather horrible…
Also, why would a bug do that in the first place?!
I know that sex education is practically non existent in many places, but come on! This level of ignorance is mindblowing, and possibly (hopefully) fictitious.
@Cat
Most men? No. All incels? Yes.
No more than a man is worried about a bug making its way up his urethra, I would imagine.
Related: I read somewhere that just about everyone has, when sleeping, swallowed a spider.
I get it. If I wasn’t living with a vagina, and it didn’t occur to me that most people don’t sleep naked, without any kind of blanket, and with their legs spread, I might wonder about the same thing. I mean, there’s all kinds of critters in nature that like to burrow in others’ orifices. It’s a common fear to have a spider go into your nose or mouth when asleep, and earwax tastes incredibly gross (don’t try it) because it’s an insect repellant. Vaginas aren’t closed exactly. And there’s rumours that one species of parasitic fish does like to hang out in human vaginas and urethras.
The natural world is pretty fucked up and the fact that there aren’t any common vagina parasites is really something to be grateful about.
Well. I wasn’t worried BEFORE NOW.
I’d be more worried about incels going inside my vagina while I’m sleeping.
Ironically, the source of that urban legend was a magazine article (from the late 1980s if I remember correctly) where the author was trying to demonstrate how urban legends get started by making up something ridiculous that was a mix of gross, scandalous, and just believable enough to spread… and it did.
You’ve never eaten a spider.
Now here’s something that will make you ask some REAL questions about how a woman’s body works:
@kupo: I completely understand!!! For years after it happened to me, I could only sleep if I had the pillow completely covering one ear, and the blanket mashed over the other.
@Yutolia
The worst part for me was that it was an actual phobia of mine. Guess it wasn’t so irrational after all, was it? I had to sleep with earplugs in for a while after that which did not work well with my tinnitus or the fact I get nauseous sometimes when things are in my ear. Finally sleeping normally again now, thank goodness.
It’s not irrational!! But a lot of people think it is… I was on a school camping trip when it happened and even while I was freaking out and in obvious discomfort, the chaperones still didn’t believe I had a bug in my ear because they didn’t believe anything like that could happen.
@Yutolia
Oh, that’s awful! At least for me, I was an adult and my husband was supportive and sat up and watched movies with me. <3
I got curious, so I had a Google.
This article is a nice summary; and manages to be educational, horrifying, but also cute. I didn’t know cockroaches groomed themselves; I find that rather sweet.
https://news.nationalgeographic.com/2017/02/roach-in-nose-ear-insects-science/
If you don’t want to read, which would be understandable; in regard to the topic under discussion it’s only really leeches you need to worry about.
“You’ve never eaten a spider”
Speak for yourself!
@kupo: omg, it was!!! Even if I had just been alone, it would have been better. I’m so glad that part of my life is over!!!
This was actually my first encounter with scorpions. They’re nocturnal and attracted to even minute sources of moisture, and I was sleeping nude and sprawled. However, this experience was not typical, nor was it ever repeated. I have such a bad history with venomous creatures finding their way into my bed, I suspect I have a Bond villain arch-nemesis.