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By David Futrelle
Ok, so you know how there are lots of white people in northern Europe? And, like, Canada? What if a bunch of far-right shitlords were able to convince the media that cold weather was a white thing? Then the libs would have to support global warming!
That, in any case. is the argument of weirdo racist pickup artist guru Heartiste, and I have to confess that I did Nazi that coming.
In a post a couple of days ago, Heartiste set forth his proposition:
I hope the fake news media … declares winter a co-opted symbol of White Nationalism. … Just get the meme spreading that cold weather is congenial to Whites and causes nonwhites endless suffering, you’ll see shitlibs turning on a dime about their opposition to [autogenic global warming]. I want shitlib whites to feel uneasy every time they make a snowman with their 0.7 kids or strap on a pair of skis.
End game: shitlibs become global warming fans. lol
The big problem with this truly galaxy brained plan — aside form the fact that it makes no fucking sense — is that the only people who seem to have swallowed the “cold weather means white supremacy” logic are 1) Heartiste himself and 2) a small percentage of his readers.
Heartiste earnestly pines for some sort of apocalyptic cold snap — which is one seemingly paradoxical but possible result of global warming — hoping that a colder climate will literally wipe out millions if not billions of people who aren’t white enough for him.
He starts off his post with this attempt at poetry:
Winter created Whites.
Winter will save Whites.
Pray for the Long Winter.
Alms for the Grand Solar Minimum.
Shrines to the frigid night air.
Prayers to the God of the Land of the Ice and Snow.
The big freeze returns.
Then he spells out what he thinks the consequences of this “big freeze” will be:
The North Winds won’t always be survivable by the high time preference hordes. A shortage of heating oil coupled with a mini ice age should wonderfully purify heartlands and minds.
(The “high time preference” bit is a reference to the belief of many racists that people of color only think about the present and can’t plan for the future.)
A few of Heartiste’s readers think a “purifying” ice age would be just dandy.
“I’m a mountaineer with experience in -30 degrees F,” someone called Corinth Arkadin boasts.
I know a tiny amount of people (to include my Saxon woman!) who could do what I’ve done in that temperature.
Cull the herd. Bring on Winter.
But most of the commenters are skeptical, getting into long-winded and sometimes nasty debates on the evolutionary history of white people, with a few of them pointing out the rather obvious fact, ignored by Heartiste, that people of color have lived in cold climates for thousands of years.
One commenter called Doktor Jeep sidesteps the whole debate and urges his fellow shitlords to try to get the libs mad at Christmas instead.
So, if we would prefer to commit an ultimate act of taking “always offended” leftism and shoving it back up their asses without lube, all we have to do is take not only the winter symbology but the Christmas symbols as well and turn those into “white supremacy”™
It will make them ruin their own Christmas because they’ll take it away from themselves – or perhaps every horrible evil white male heterosexual christian gets free rent in the heads of every SJW alive as they go out of their way not to say “Christmas”.
Meanwhile, a commenter called Veritas offers a theory of white people that’s literally more galaxy brained than Heartiste:
Not that I have any hard evidence for this myself – but I truly believe, in my heart and soul – that the Aryan race descendends from another planet, another universe, that our himmlische Vater sent us here to save and redeem this world, for the benefit of all mankind
White supremacists are deeply weird.
Also, I’m white and I hate winter.
Holy Mother, this asshole is still around? Repellent as ever, I see.
One word refutation of their stupid theory – “Inuit”
Does he not know that Eskimos are even more suited for cold weather, and live in way colder climates, and they’re not white.
Is this some kind of Game of Thrones religion?
As someone who has actually experienced temperatures of -30 degrees, I hate to be the bearer of bad news to any aspiring white supremacists out there, it’s not your ethnicity that’s going to protect your from the unforgiving cold, it’s your gear. Seriously, wearing appropriate clothes (and keeping up movement) is the thing that will make the difference between survival and death. Also, I have three different winter coats for this exact reason, plus military grade boots. Ah, the joys of living in a sub-arctic temperate zone. 😀
When will right wingers realize that the left is not as vulnerable to misinformation campaigns as they are?
Have…they looked at a map? Do they realise that cold snaps are most likely to happen across Europe (majority white) and North America (also majority white); and thus are likely to kill far more white people than POC?
It’s almost as if they’re just making shit up.
That’s adorable.
Up here in the “true north strong and free” (but don’t forget to burn any records of people not being free), we measure in celcius, because Fahrenheit is for people who just want a number to sound more hardcore than it actually is. And I’ve been through -45 on a yearly basis. On the ground. Not some mountaintop vacation, I mean it’s outside your damn doorstep, it’s at work, it’s everywhere, it’s inescapable.
One winter it even got down to below -50.
But you know who’s even more hardcore than any of us white prairie folk? Who’s been surviving in the goddamn ARCTIC CIRCLE for centuries? Who’s children can’t be convinced to stay inside even when it’s -70 below freezing (as told by my parents who briefly lived in NWT)?
The Inuit. That’s right, PoC, who’s kids whop your sorry ass.
Okay, clearly there are a bunch of things wrong with this, but since these dudes are paragons of LOGIC and all, I’m just going to have to ask… Did they learn about ice ages from, like, the movie franchise? I mean, the first one is pretty good, it’s just…
An ice age doesn’t turn the whole planet into a sorta vague Siberia. Global temperatures average a dozen or less degrees lower than they are now. Does that cause massive changes? Of course, but those changes are not, uh, the same but cold. Sea levels fall dramatically while glaciations expand, completely restructuring available land. Precipitation patterns and currents change wildly, but picture a ten or twelve degree difference in the tropics. There were still rainforests during the last ice age. Smaller, slightly cooler ones, but definitely rainforests.
Also, this is something that happens on a geological timescale. Certain climate events can proceed surprisingly quickly, but that, to a geologist, means a scale of thousands of years to see a significant change. Even something like the Little Ice Age, a very minor series of cooling events interspersed with warmer period, may have taken as much as four hundred years to get going.
The Little Ice Age had a huge impact on civilizations around the world. Its teensy little one degree difference was enough to disrupt weather patterns, devastate farming and hunting, disrupt trade and travel, etc. Climate change in any direction is definitely a big scary threat. It’s just not one you survive by being a tough dude who owns cool stuff from Dick’s Sporting Goods.
Oh, Jesus, not Fartiste again. Pretty sure genetic mutations created “Whites,” not winter.
Their grasp of the consequences of climate change is shaky, at best, considering that all low-lying parts of Europe will be flooded. Like, kiss big parts of Britain and the Netherlands and Scandinavia goodbye.
Also: the Russian winter defeated the Nazis. I don’t think these numpkins know their history as well as they think they do if they think being a Germanic/Saxon white guy will somehow make them triumph over all winter.
Yeah; Leave it to the Hitler Fan Club to worship frozen zombie weirdos who want to destroy the world for no good reason.
(I never watched that show. Are the White Walkers zombies?)
White Walkers are more like malevolent ice fairies. They can raise and control the dead and turn them into a zombie army though.
You have to be a real bottom-of-the-barrel nitwit to think that “I own a parka and can go outside in sub-freezing temperatures” is a mark of superiority.
Survivalism is just another form of “Bang Europe” sex tourism. Both rest on the belief that the key to getting women and respect is to have a monopoly on some desperately needed resource, whether it’s money, food, or heat. If you’re a dude with zero redeeming qualities, the only way you can appear successful is to be in an environment so harsh, so deprived, that even a stick of gum represents a fortune. Or so the thinking goes. It’s a nice fantasy, until Chad comes along and it turns out he also has a stick of gum, and so do most of the women.
Apparently they don’t think a heating oil shortage and crop failures would affect them because underpants gnomes, or something. It’s obviously a well thought out plan.
@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
Oh yeah your old avatar had one of the white walkers. Good times.
OT: Major Content Warning on final self harm
First off good news on my part, I am on my way to transferring to a four year college for cheaper, I’m getting all my classes done. That means that I am keeping up with everyone else in the world so I don’t have to feel entirely hopeless on that front. I feel comfortable driving in almost all weather at this point. I even got medication for my ADD and my psychologist for my ADD does believe I have it. So far the meds are working.
And most importantly I’m still happy and comfy that I’m trans. Sure I wish I can be more openly trans but the fact I know who I am at least on that front is good for me to know. I also came out to my sister that I’m trans and she supports me all the way.
And now for the bad.
Thanks to finals, having to drop an accounting course, and messups in driving, my brain is starting to become more fatalistic, or is it nihilism? Anyways my thought processes is becoming more “Who cares if I mess up I can just end it all” despite the fact that my family and friends would much rather have me not do that.
I haven’t had a suicidal attempt or major thoughts of actually going through with it in weeks but the fact remains that this method of thinking really concerns me since I can just easily slip into a state of complete hopelessness at a drop of a hat whether it’s from failing a class to just one day not wanting to live anymore.
I don’t really know what else to say other than I’m kind of not feeling that great and I’d like to stop thinking these bad thoughts that are probably going to be the end of me one of these days.
These morons have so clearly not actually *lived* in extreme cold temps. My family spent 4 years in Yellowknife (which is still a lot warmer than the temps further north), although our first winter there was one of the coldest in years and it was regularly -45C. You dress in lots of layers and you wear *good* heavy coats. You allow as little skin as possible to be exposed. And it doesn’t matter wtf race you are, the cold affects everyone. Admittedly the kids tend to be moving & playing so much they don’t always notice it.
Make liberals think Christmas is only for racist people? Haven’t conservatives been trying to do that for decades now?
I just have so many questions. First of all, how does Heartiste think that he could possible convince anyone that cold weather equals white supremacy? Its not like racist whites stayed away from hot climates. Also, no one who thinks about it for even ten seconds is not going to realize that making the temperatures around the globe significantly higher over the next fifty years is not going to cause some sever problems for people living on this planet, including white people.
If Heartiste was really using his head, he would be more worried about global warming than maintaining white privilege. Off course that’s probably also because he’s a climate change denier, in addition to a racist loser, so he simply refuses to believe that we’re making the planet hotter by pumping carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. I’m certain that that he thinks he knows so much better than all those climatologists out there.
Ah, a prospective hoax where they’ve forgot to take into account who needs to be a fucking idiot for the hoax to work (the hoaxee) and who actually is (them, the hoaxers).
Inuit people aren’t white.
Neither are native Siberians and Mongolians — both of whom live in very wintry climes.
Also, weather ≠ climate.
Shartiste, however = a dumbass.
I’m sad that someone called “Doktor Jeep” is involved in this. He’s obviously a huge fan of the brilliant goth band Sisters of Mercy (“Doctor Jeep” was one of their singles, “Doktor Avalanche” the name of their drum machine). While they weren’t the most political band in the world, they were openly left-wing — and even toured as co-headliners with the black-revolutionary hip-hop stars Public Enemy.
Yeah, I know, everyone involved in these circles is an expert at missing the point. This one just feels like it took specialist effort, like Paul Ryan’s favorite band having been Rage Against the Machine.
Oh! And then there’s this little gem of language manglage (and creation myths that need to go die in a fire):
Could these Nazi motherfuckers kindly not abuse my native tongue, which has noun declensions and cases and all that? Unless, of course, they want to see my German pride kick their white pride down the stairs with steel-toed boots on.
(The English is just as mangled, too, to be fair…”descendends”??? Oy.)
Bina, do you speak German?
The only thing that white skin helps with is the production of vitamin D when one is exposed to limited sunlight, which is why people tended to be paler the further from the equator they settled, back when travel was much much harder.( More melanin is useful when the sun is doing its damnedest to try to cook you alive, alternately.)
Pale skin doesn’t grant any kind of resistance to the cold. Yeah, most arctic animals are white, but that’s for camouflage. And if you’re relying on your bare white skin as camouflage in the snow, you’re already as good as dead.
Unless the mythical apocalyptic Winter happens because the sunlight is mostly (but not entirely) blocked out by clouds and magically makes all vitamins and fish disappear, white people will have no biological advantage over anyone else. (Technically they may still have some advantage, because due to centuries of systemic exploitation and oppression, white people tend to be richer than non-white people and thus will havemore resources to mitigate the affects to their comfort. But that’s not something to be proud of.)
@Ooglyboggles
Hugs if wanted.