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Every kiss begins with … wait, WHAT? Bad Anatomy Friday

Run, baby, run!

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By David Futrelle

The incels are having weird fantasies about Chad semen again. Take a look at this little rant from the Braincels subreddit:

 it's not just IT (self.Braincels) submitted 2 months ago * by whatwasthatcat The whole of reddit is a cuckfest. I would assume the causes are libertarianism, liberalism, feminism, and too much soy and plastic in the diet. The front page of reddit makes me sick. For example there is usually some shit involving a baby and parents with the baby doing something funny. It's like.. that baby is haram. It is the product of a beta bux f---ot with a whore mother who got her holes ravaged by 50+ chads and is now $ettling for the beta buxx father, so it's over, how can it be wholesome? The baby is haram and illegitimate and a product of prostitution and its mother is a filthy whore. The first thing that poor baby experienced upon entering this cruel world is the semen hybrid of 50 HIV+ ex convicts who also probably had hep C touching its forehead. Every time the mother talks to kisses the baby with her filthy mouth, the semen of 50+ lowlives is transferred onto the baby's lips. How can people do this to their own baby? If you want to be a filthy whore don't have babies. How can that be funny or wholesome? The mainstream cucks are in denial. How can you live your whole life in denial? I know the blue pill tastes good but I can't take it if I know it will erase all sense of truth and logic.

This is seriously kind of impressive. I mean, I know that incels have some rather peculiar notions about how vaginas work, but this is this first time I’ve seen one of them equally confused about how human mouths work.

Are incels secretly a bunch of space aliens who are used to absorbing food through, I dunno, membranes on stalks or something?

H/T – I found this through the Incel Tears subreddit (which is the IT the OP here is referring to in the title of his post).

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KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
5 years ago

I mean, at least with the vagina, a man could be forgiven for not knowing how it works because they don’t have one themselves, but mouths? Seriously?

Let’s expand this logic: if a person takes even one sip from a plastic bottle, is everything they eat or drink for the rest of their life tainted with plastic? If an incel says something stupid, is everything they say for the rest of their lives tainted with stupidity?

Just, wow…

TB Tabby
TB Tabby
5 years ago

How can you live your whole life in denial?

I think that every time I see incels trying to claim their ideology is gospel truth in the face of mountains of evidence to the contrary.

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

Oh, honey. You don’t eat the plastic container the tofu comes in.

JessicaRed
JessicaRed
5 years ago

Who kisses a baby on the mouth? That’s a good way to give your baby herpes simplex.

They don’t know how ANYTHING works.

TheLurker
TheLurker
5 years ago

@kupo please let the incels try to eat plastic

Flora
Flora
5 years ago

That’s also not how HIV and Hep C work, unless for some reason your mouth is full of open bleeding wounds??

Like don’t kiss babies on the lips anyways, but you can’t get HIV from kissing – that’s some late 80s HIV stigma, like what the hell?

Viscaria
Viscaria
5 years ago

Don’t hear that very often. “You know what really grinds my cheese? Funny babies. ? “

kupo
kupo
5 years ago

@Viscaria
Babies remind them that women have the secks they’re always being gatekept out of. ???

Nequam
Nequam
5 years ago

Haram? Is this guy Muslim? If so I’m surprised the other Braincels haven’t ripped him several new orifices.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
5 years ago

You could show these guys a picture of a tranquil sunny meadow, and all they would see is acres of flower spooge being sucked up by diseased thot bees, and whore butterflies getting undeserved attention, and chad bunnies contaminating stacey bunnies somewhere in the weeds.

Meanwhile, I didn’t realize that soy and plastic have brainwashed modern humans into finding babies cute. How degenerate. As we all know, cavemen were repelled by their babies and usually just left them out in the meadow with the harlot daisies.

Moggie
Moggie
5 years ago

Imagine being that angry all the time. It can’t be healthy.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
5 years ago

Haram? Is this guy Muslim?

No, Islamophobes have taken to using the term ironically. (Don’t ask me for the logic behind that; I don’t think there is any.)

rv
rv
5 years ago

@Scented Fucking Hard Chairs

They think radical Islam is the answer since it seems to deny women rights. So I’d say they may have chosen to convert to or at least idealize Islam a lot.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
5 years ago

What kind of brainwashing do you have to put yourself through to find babies revolting?!

Seriously. You’re biologically programmed to find babies cute and like and want to protect them.

I don’t want kids. Ever. But I actually like kids as long as I can give them back to the parents. And if I don’t like the parents I’ll fill them up with caffeine first.

Amtep
Amtep
5 years ago

Are incels in favour of birth control and family planning now? At least that’s refreshing

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
5 years ago

Another poison pen post from another venomous right-winger.

If he gets called on his shit, he’ll say his post is ironic or humorous.

It’s a damn shame that none of them knows how to write anything that’s not hate speech. They’re boring. Toxic and boring.

So weird that hot babes don’t want to date toxic, boring guys!

Full Metal Ox
Full Metal Ox
5 years ago

Speaking of poison-pen posts from venomous right-wingers: in the I Wish I Were Making This Up Department, the Nazi element on 4chan are plotting to co-opt the phrase “Happy Hanukkah” as an anti-Semitic (and gaslighting) dog whistle:

http://archive.is/zYUv7

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

What kind of brainwashing do you have to put yourself through to find babies revolting?!

I dunno, but I must have gone through it, because I want nothing to do with those screaming bundles of urine, feces, and vomit.

I’d never want a baby to be harmed, and I get that other people like them, but frankly I find them gross and unnerving.

Not a big fan of the “but you’re biologically compelled to like this particular thing! There must be something wrong with anyone who dislikes it!” argument…

Steven I Dutch
Steven I Dutch
5 years ago

I got hung up by the Reddit name: “braincels.” Is that “brain-cels,” implying they have brains, or “bra-incels,” ,meaning maybe, incels with such low aspirations their fondest hope is someday to see a bra?

I suppose maybe a point for knowing the word “haram.”

Since these guys were babies at one time, unless they emerged from slime molds, that means their moms were Stacy’s and their fathers betas, and they are therefore contaminated with the residue of 50+ Chads. Right? I have a belt sander they can borrow to get it off.

LG
LG
5 years ago

“I dunno, but I must have gone through it, because I want nothing to do with those screaming bundles of urine, feces, and vomit.”

Good fucking lord. Yes. Yes, there is something wrong with you and your attitude towards small children. This is a terrible way to talk about any human beings and I wish more lefty circles would get their shit together and ban people for saying hateful, dehumanizing things about children.

Seems like everyone who says hideous things about kids follows it up with, “But I totes don’t want to do violence to them.” Like…okay…why are you bringing THAT up? You’re fucking creeping me out. Talking about humans this way IS violent, and our social treatment of children bears that out, same as any oppressed group.

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

???

I did not say that I did not want to do violence to them. I said that I do not want them to be harmed. Not by me and not by anyone else. I’d never hurt a baby because I’d never go anywhere near a baby, and because I don’t hurt people.

Children and infants are absolutely still people and deserve all the rights, care, and protection that all human beings do (more, in fact, because of how vulnerable they are). That doesn’t mean that I have to like them or find them cute.

LG
LG
5 years ago

You also don’t have to go on public forums and call them “screaming bundles of urine, feces and vomit.”

You really, really don’t. Why would you think that’s okay just because you don’t find them cute? Do you think that contributes to their human rights and social protection?

Catalpa
Catalpa
5 years ago

No, I suppose I don’t. But most people don’t seem to take me seriously when I merely say that I don’t like babies. I deal with the “noooo, all women LOVE babies, you’ll see! It’s biology!” smug bullshit all the damn time. And I’m sick of it, so I go into specifics so that I am clear about why I dislike babies (i.e. because they shriek and expel unpleasant substances and I want to stay away from them).

I’m sick of people telling me that I’m biologically compelled to like babies or like sex or like being subordinate to a man or any other bullshit evo-psych crap that people pull out of their asses because they assume everyone is the same.

I was unaware that I was responsible for every statement of mine needing to contribute to the rights of children.

LG
LG
5 years ago

Let me tell you something as a survivor of abusive parents: the shitty, horrible, dehumanizing things that people casually say about why they find children disgusting and off-putting ABSOLUTELY contribute to child abuse by making abusers feel more justified. So kindly knock it the fuck off.

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