By David Futrelle
Over on the Incels.is forum, they’re always coming up with new excuses to be angry at women. The most ingenious one I’ve seen in a long time comes from a regular forum commenter calling himself Sparrow’s Song, who seems to have uncovered a heretofore unknown form of discrimination against incels, based on their farts.
Apparently, you see, the contemporary female — or femoid, in the incel patois — actually enjoys it when a handsome Chad farts in her presence, hating farts only when they come from ugly incels and other undesirable men. Sparrow’s Song explains:
When Chad farts around hot babes, they discreetly smell his fart to figure out what food he ate so they can get an estimate of what his semen tastes like.
Yes, this is a totally normal thing that women do, because they’ve all memorized the fart-smell/semen-flavor conversion charts that can be found on the back cover of every women’s magazine.
But when a incel lets it rip in the presence of the very same hot babes, Sparrow’s Song declares, they are likely to launch into a conversation much like this one he has imagined in his head:
Becky: Eww, what a creeper!
Stacy: Like who farts around goddesses like us? What a facially despicable fool!
Clearly Sparrow’s Song is a keen observer of how normal earth humans communicate.
Becky: It’s soo gross! Where is Chad? I need him to come get this creep away from us!
Stacy: He busy being Chad (fucking Roastina).
When Chad isn’t farting, he’s apparently fucking. It’s a simple but fulfilling lifestyle.
Becky: Right! OMG this ugly guy’s fart smell like the corpses of rotten children. I think he’s a he’s a cannibal pedophile.
Honestly, given the horrible things I’ve found on Incels.is — and the significant percentage of incels who seem utterly obsessed with 14-year-old virgins — Becky may be on to something here.
Stacy: LoL, you would know from all those abortions you had girlfriend! hahahah
I’m not sure what exactly Sparrow’s Song thinks goes on when women get abortions.
Stacy:You’re right though, he has a pedophile face, you can tell by the asymmetry and lack of a strong jawline.
The only people in the world who talk or think like this are incels and other weirdo manospherans.
Becky:I saw this crime show on TV where these hot detectives captured a creepy guy’s fart in a bottle to test it for human remains, we should alert the authorities before he claims another victim, I can tell by his unattractive face that he’s a psychopath who’s out for blood and craves children.
Law and Order: Special Fart Unit
Stacy: Good idea, us beautiful people sure know how to fight baddies and make the world a better place for everyone! Even if this guy is innocent, he’s ugly as fuck so that’s guilty enough, fuck that asshole, who cares if we ruin his life. Besides, with a face like that, it’s not a matter of if you’re a pedophile but when. We’re doing our community a favor.
These guys really need to find a better hobby.
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