Wait, is Jordan Peterson posting on the Incels.is forum now?

For someone who claims his mood was improved by a monotonous and decidedly unhealthy diet, he sure sounds weepy all the time.

What a loser lobster.

(I can totally believe that he’s secretly an incel, though.)

ETA: in before someone else posts “Here I sit, all broken-hearted…”

It’s definitely funny to joke about SuperSaiyanGymcel being Jordan Peterson in his (not-so) secret disguise, but I think it would’ve been a hell of a lot funnier if SuperSaiyanGymcel was actually Jordan Peterson… Or not. That depends on what you think (is funny) and what everyone else thinks (is funny), LMFAO.

Tonic-peddlers of previous centuries specialized in blurbs which featured illustrations of skinny men with furrowed brows. This combo was generally thought to indicate constipation (often delicately referred to as “A Stoppage”) which was the condition the advertisements promised to relieve (no pun).

Salt, meat, and water, hunh? Sounds like a bad idea to me…

Avocadoes are loaded with soluble fiber; they needn’t be an extravagance if you watch for sales, buy them hard and green, and keep them in the refrigerator, withdrawing a few at a time to ripen at room temperature. (In the US, likely times of year include Super Bowl Sunday, Cinco de Mayo, and September–Hispanic Heritage Month.)

I honestly believe both he and his daughter are bullshitting about their diets, especially since they claimed it caused extensive diarrhea during their adjustment. He would have died from advanced scurvy, so he’s obviously lying through his teeth on account of the fact they haven’t dropped freely out of his loose, bleeding gums. What’s really pathetic is that it seems like an ill-conceived attempt to project an image of manliness, that he eats only the manliest food he can think of, and he’s soooooo disciplined he “never takes vitamins and never cheats, not even a little. NEVER.” even when it’s literally impossible to survive on that diet. I call shenanigans. He totally eats other food, he’s just a desperate tryhard.

Also, he looks like a haunted mannequin in that video.

@ Kat:

I don’t know whether it’s the fiber, the creamy vegetable fat, or what, but I’ve also found them useful for slowing carb absorption and thus controlling blood sugar–that being another frequent goal of extreme carnivory. (And no, I’m not collecting payola from the Avocado Growers’ Association; I’m just fond of the things.)

@GenJones:

Biologyweeps is a Tumblr devoted to critiquing preudoscientific balderdash; this recent discussion of the woes of a bunch of scurvy scalawags following a Petersonesque diet seems relevant:

http://biologyweeps.tumblr.com/post/179549958022/a-girl-i-know-told-me-how-a-guy-she-knows-once-%23notes

From the Guardian article, I love “The League of Extraordinarily Fragile Gentlemen.” What a wonderful description. Plus now I can imagine Mina Harker sneering at them.

Catalpa,

In other words, if part of his diet consists of dry cat food, he’s okay.

That’s a funny mental image.

It’s also making me wonder why misogynists think cats are unmanly given their super dudebro carnivorous diet.

And of course the Toronto Star’s free Metro newspaper given out in subways had this dipshit’s pouty “I’m totally srs, guise” face on the front page, as some sap made a documentary about his “friendship” with an aboriginal artist (as if that balances out all the bullshit he spews).

God, I hate the fawning whitewashing that the press still gives this Kermit-voiced charlatan. He’s Brad Goodman for the 4chan crowd, you befuddled nincompoops! Figure it out already so we can put this constipated assclown to bed already!

Incidentally, Peterson’s diet actually brought to mind something I remember from a documentary on the Battle of Balaclava:

https://specialcollections-blog.lib.cam.ac.uk/?p=2308

Sebastopol is as far from falling as ever, in fact till we get a fresh army in Spring you must not look to hear of its being taken….here we must remain for the Winter, everything connected with the siege has in fact been mismanaged by us though not by our noble allies… our poor fellows in front are very miserable for want of proper covering in this inclement weather, they come out of the trenches, wet to the skin, [and] instead of having any warm dry place to go to they have to creep into a wretched damp tent where they have no means of drying themselves, their clothing is very insufficient, and their provisions consist almost entirely of salt meat; an excellent thing in moderation but by no means condusive to health when men have nothing else to eat, the enemy do us little harm comparatively, but the number of men we lose from sickness is terrible.

I sort of don’t care if Peterson and his followers want to destroy their gut microflora, develop scurvy and constipation, and set themselves up for heart attacks just to own the libs. However, there are also huge environmental costs to an all-meat diet. Costs that the rest of us have to live with.

Ah yes, the Great Vitamin C Debate of 1675, I remember it well. The casualties were atrocious. That it took humans roughly 300 damn years to figure out what the hell was going on and/or to do anything about it, was possibly worse.

If you liked Marina Hyde’s column, take a look at her twitter as well, where she’s busy snarking on the topic.