By David Futrelle
Over on Incels.is — the successor site to Incels.me, which recently found itself tossed off the internet — the regulars are discussing what they evidently feel is one of the central issues of our time: Can dudes make themselves more appealing to women by punching themselves in the face?
Take it away, dude-who-calls-himself-rahultmnt:
![[Serious] will punching your own jaws and chin make it more defined ? Thread starterrahultmnt Start dateSunday at 11:25 AM rahultmnt rahultmnt Recruit - Sunday at 11:25 AM#1 I know there are martial artists who has hardened their hand bones by punching walls and crazy shit like that. So i was thinking WHAT IF I PUNCH MY OWN FACE[ :feelsrope:].... there will be some microfractures to my jaws and chin, and then when it heals. it will be harder ? more defined ?](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/rf75t80u-90.png?ssl=1)
Naturally, Incels.is being the malignant shitsite that it is, some of the regulars piped right up to tell him to GO FOR IT.
A few of the regulars objected to rahulmnt’s plan, but he was unconvinced.
![rahultmnt Recruit - Sunday at 11:29 AM#6 Adoring Fan said: :giga::feelsmega: wtf man , something tells me this will go very wrong. Don't try anything stupid. what ? the worst that could happen is i would knock myself out.. im just going for the chin and jaw [ they are naturally designed to take punches ].. not the nose or temple or anything like that](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/10/7rt8fy9gu0hi-e1540501818219.png?ssl=1)
Nor was he swayed by the testimony of a fellow incel who claimed to have tried this unique “looksmaxing” strategy himself.
Yeah, I don’t think that’s how it works. You can’t punch yourself handsome. (And, seriously, if you’re honestly contemplating physical self-harm, for any reason, please reach out to a person or an organization that can help.)
A few other commenters, also less than enthusiastic about the punching-yourself-in-the-face strategy, suggested assorted alternatives, ranging from “tough chewy mastic gum” (to strengthen the jaw muscles) to Human Growth Hormone.
Sure, working your jaw muscles will indeed strengthen them. And you’re not likely to hurt yourself chewing gum. But Human Growth Hormone could be as bad for you as punching yourself in the face.
Even more to the point: continuing to obsess over the precise structure of your face isn’t going to help you find your way to a better life. It’ll make you more depressed, more bitter, and in the end less attractive — not only to the women you’re interested in, but to pretty much everyone else on planet earth.
It’s not a few millimeters of bone, as the incel trope has it, that separates self-described “involuntary celibates” from the guys women are genuinely attracted to — it’s the kind of person you are. And the weird mixture of self-pity and narcissistic entitlement that the incel movement encourages makes even conventionally good-looking incels deeply unattractive to women.
Seriously, guys, just fucking stop this shit.
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Not sure how hitting yourself will hate
They are unattractive and cant get laid, so I know the perfect solution? Hitting themselves….erm…. no
How about stop over thinking about getting laid and just focus on other aspects of life?
Fair enough, if a man or a woman cant seem to get a date or get laid, I can accept. But being a little shit about it, blaming women, and encouraging self harm? I wont have it
Have none of these guys heard of plastic surgery? I mean, it’s more expensive than repeatedly punching yourself in the jaw, but in every other way it seems like a much better idea.
@Catalpa:
As a kid, I’m pretty sure I was the latter sort of priggish little shit; in young adulthood, I flirted with above-it-all edgemasterhood; having come late in life to some awareness of the impression I’ve actually been making on people and the unexamined assumptions of privilege, I’ve come to proceed on the axiom that I’m a Bad Person (#YesWeMeanYou); my focus is therefore on the day-to-day conscious effort–the sort that any struggle with addiction requires!–to avoid reflecting this in my behavior. (To quote the Tenth Doctor: “Good men don’t need rules. That’s why I have so many.”)
@Full Metal Ox
OMG
The 10th Doc is probably my least fave at this point, but that quote is fantastic. And real, minus the gender marker.
@Hexum7, Catalpa:
I’ve got way too much in the way of self-criticism to get too trapped by that, though I get the point. I do worry what other people think, and try to do good, or at least not do bad.
A lot of this is stuff that I haven’t really formalized. Though as I’ve said before, my mother was a kindergarten teacher, so ‘play nice’ was a rule that got drilled in early on. And I have actually taken philosophy courses. Mostly I just read really widely, which gives me a good idea of how much variation there is in attitudes out there.
I have no idea where I’m going with this.
@Catalpa; @Cyborgette:
Erratum: it was in fact Eleven who said it, and the exact quote is, “Good men don’t need rules. Today is not the day to find out why I have so many.”
I’m glad some men are now as worried about their looks and how to improve them as most women are.
I wear: makeup primer (clear), a lightweight foundation, brow gel and brow filler (accident when I was around 12 causes my one brow to cease being symmetrical), a light dusting of powder, a setting powder, a setting spray, and sometimes some lipstick, mascara, &/or eyeshadow.
It doesn’t make me look more attractive. It just makes me look different.
Similarly, punching yourself in the face won’t make you look more attractive. It *will* make you look insane and MUCH less attractive though- not because of any broken bones or bruises but bc *this* is somehow one of your first answers for making yourself “look better”.
I alternate between feeling bad for these boys and being amazed at how they survive with little to no self awareness.
Best advice ever given to the incel came from John Mellencamp:
“Forget all about that macho shit and learn how to play guitar.”
Of course they won’t listen
It’s really sad that people have these thoughts, people need to take care of themselves and be proud of who they are. Many factors can play into this, while keeping a healthy balanced lifestyle is important so is empowerment in our earlier years.