Categories
creepy cuck empathy deficit entitled babies incels men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny pedophiles oh sorry ephebophiles

New incel theory: If you’re a guy who missed out on “Teenage Stacy worshiping your dick” you’re an incel-for-life

Teen boy being incel-for-life-zoned by a stuck-up Stacey

By David Futrelle

Sometimes it’s hard to tell if the incel obsession with “Jailbait” stems from their pedophile — sorry, I mean ephebophile — fantasies, or if they’re just looking for an excuse to suggest that all the adult men out there having sex with adult women are secretly as sad and pathetic as incels are.

Take, for example, this post today on Incels.is — a backup site for Incels.me, which has apparently been booted from the internet by its domain provider — setting forth the proposition that “if you miss out on teenage love, you are an incel for life tbh.”

 OverBeforeItBegan Highest inhib BDDcel - JoinedJul 26, 2018 Messages827 Today at 5:32 PM#1 Getting some ancient 25 year old (at best) used up slut that is looking for a "safe man" after highschool/ college Chads and Tyrones are done using her holes is the equivalent of escortcelling. You might still get the occasional sex but it will be nowhere near the same as to what superior men got while you get the degraded version of your girlfriend/wife. She'll just be reminiscing about her youth and the countless Chad cocks she got plowed by. No love is as pure as Teenage Stacy worshiping your dick. You cannot make up lost time. The one good thing about this is watching cucktears copers saying things like "i'm happy I met my wife when she was 30 years old because she's more mature now and gives me better handjobs because of her experience :soy:" You can feel their pain from their posts.

Here’s the full text, if you want to avoid eyestrain:

OverBeforeItBegan
Highest inhib BDDcel

Joined
Jul 26, 2018
Messages
827
Today at 5:32 PM#1

Getting some ancient 25 year old (at best) used up slut that is looking for a “safe man” after highschool/ college Chads and Tyrones are done using her holes is the equivalent of escortcelling. You might still get the occasional sex but it will be nowhere near the same as to what superior men got while you get the degraded version of your girlfriend/wife. She’ll just be reminiscing about her youth and the countless Chad cocks she got plowed by.

No love is as pure as Teenage Stacy worshiping your dick. You cannot make up lost time.

The one good thing about this is watching cucktears copers [i.e. commenters on the IncelTears subreddit] saying things like “i’m happy I met my wife when she was 30 years old because she’s more mature now and gives me better handjobs because of her experience  “

You can feel their pain from their posts.

I suppose there’s a a third possible explanation here: that OverBeforeItBegan is trying to convince himself that his Incels.me handle is an accurate one by “proving” that there’s nothing he can do to make his life better so he might as well just wallow in misery forever.

Of course, it’s also possible that the correct answer is “all of the above” —  that OverBeforeItBegan is a pedophile-sorry-ephebophile who wants to think most men are secretly as miserable as he is and that nothing will ever make anything better for any of them.

I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered a social movement quite so devoted to making (and keeping) everyone involved in it feeling miserable, bitter, and hopeless.

We Hunted the Mammoth relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

103 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
2 years ago

@ Jo, Wetherby:
I know—with pretty much any other human activity, the accepted logic is that one gets better at it with practice. No one ever fantasizes about how great it would be to play a duet with someone who has never picked up a violin before.

dashapants
dashapants
2 years ago

@Prophet309

Got it in one. That’s what I call Mr. Pants. Cat. Though to be sure we are both cats. Which is why we aren’t actually married — we both dislike the idea of a legal and witnessed document saying that we have to stay put, we prefer the idea of being able to wander off. That being said, we have been “properly” together for so long now (since 2010, I think; it’s hard to pinpoint it exactly since Mr. Pants has always sort of been around) that the government probably considers us common law married. We intend to remain in this arrangement indefinitely (or until something shiny or a really interesting cardboard box distract us).

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Speaking seriously, I have to wonder about this common wisdom that having sexual experience makes you a better sex partner.

We routinely conflate age and experience. How much of it is actual sexual experience, and how much is general social and sexual maturing? How about adults who keep getting new theoretical sex education, perhaps relatively basic stuff that should’ve been taught in school but wasn’t?

Is it relevant to practice sex a lot, or with more than one partner, or both? Or is the relevant difference just between some experience vs. no experience at all? I suppose with each individual partner you get gradually better after the first time, as you learn that particular person’s quirks (assuming you’re willing to learn anything, that is). Does any of it translate to subsequent new relationships?

dust bunny
dust bunny
2 years ago

@ Lumipuna

Don’t forget all the things you can learn from “practicing” by yourself. If you approach masturbation with proper ambition, it’s highly relevant experience. You learn a lot about how to touch others from touching yourself, regardless of whether your genital configuration is the same as your partners’ or not. And knowing what you like, what works for you, and how to let go/be in the moment/focus on what you’re experiencing makes you a much better partner.

Alexisagirlsname
Alexisagirlsname
2 years ago

with pretty much any other human activity, the accepted logic is that one gets better at it with practice. No one ever fantasizes about how great it would be to play a duet with someone who has never picked up a violin before.

Logically this should obviously be the case. However, the male fantasy of being the superior older master to mould an untutored younger woman (whose innate natural talent he, and no other man, has uncovered) in just the way that he likes is one that exists outside of the purely sexual sphere as well. I could absolutely see some slightly creepy 40 year old violinist fantasising about this rather than dueting with a female violin maestro of talent superior to his.

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

@Violet the Vile

I think part of the problem is that most incels don’t know any real teenagers. They are going from films (and porn) where the part of a teenager is played by a glamorous 30-year-old

THIS! A thousand times this!

Seriously, the girls I went to high school with were as pimple-faced, brace-wired and awkward as I was! It was Degrassi High, not Riverdale! Fuck, even Degrassi: The Next Generation was too glam for real school.

Geez freakin’ Louise, these dang-meme-dwelling CHUDs need to stop living on a steady diet of teen sex comedies and Digital Playground long enough to realize that the high school juniors they’re conjuring up in their heads neither resemble nor have the inhibitions of Sasha Grey!

(CW: Misogyny and murder to follow)

Just to offer an example of how this distortion manifests, I mentioned I was listening to a Canadian true crime podcast called Dark Poutine. One of the stories they highlighted was the murder of Dorothy Stratten. Some might be familiar with her story through the film Star 80 starring Mariel Hemingway and Eric Roberts, but Stratten was a Vancouver-born model who was selected as the August 1979 Playboy Playmate and went on to be named Playmate of the Year for 1980. They played a clip of Stratten being interviewed by Johnny Carson and Stratten had such poise and a professional bearing that you could be forgiven for forgetting that she was only 18 or 19 years old at the time. Wearing makeup she looked far older than she actually was, and the amount of fame she acquired so fast at such a young age was not helped by the circumstances of her discovery.

Stratten was working at a Dairy Queen in Coquitlam when she met a 26-year-old club promoter and pimp named Paul Snider. It was Snider who convinced her to take nude modeling shots and passed them on to Playboy. Conforming to Hefner’s ideal woman, she was a shoe-in for Playmate and within a year, she went from a poor kid from Coquitlam to the toast of Los Angeles. This didn’t sit well with Snider, who despite marrying Stratten and following her to LA, found her attempts to control her rebuffed by Hefner, Stratten’s friends and eventually Stratten herself. Stratten eventually had an affair with director Peter Bogdanovich on the set of They All Laughed (which the folks at Dark Poutine watched and commented that Stratten had great comedic timing). Stratten’s separation and planned divorce from Snider sent him over the edge and on August 14, 1980, he lured Stratten to the house they once shared, brutally sexually assaulted her at gunpoint and murdered her with 12-gauge shotgun, which he then used on himself.

In the wake of such a horrific tragedy, everyone was left reeling. Stratten’s family, pretty much all of the Greater Vancouver Area… and I don’t think Bogdanovich was ever quite the same man. It was a tad creepy that he eventually married Dorothy’s younger sister Louise four years later, given the 30 year age gap. Naturally, Hefner’s first instinct was to protect the Playboy brand from any liability in Stratten’s death. Compassionate guy.

The observation that the Dark Poutine guys made was that she was a young woman barely out of girlhood who had been taken advantage of by a parade of older men (be it Snider, Hefner or Bogdanovich) and had expectations and fame heaped upon her that she could barely keep a handle on. But the added tragedy is that she was keeping a handle on it and had she lived, she likely would have been a major star within a couple of years. She had the maturity and poise of a woman far beyond her years, but was working a Dairy Queen in high school not a year before and this is what these incel CHUDs keep envisioning who these high school “Staceys” are! They’re still carrying a lot of the vulnerability of childhood with them, no matter how mature they appear in photo spreads and interviews or even on PornHub 40 years after Dorothy Stratten! Stratten herself admitted as such in a written interview, that as mature as she felt in LA, a part of her still felt like a lost kid from Coquitlam.

Forgive the lengthy retrospective on a grim topic, but I think it’s a perfect illustration of the problem and how long it’s been manifesting itself.

@wwth

Never forget, incels are just rapists who lack the courage or social skills to successfully rape.

Couldn’t be put better. Basically Paul Snider wannabes.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

dust bunny:

If you approach masturbation with proper ambition, it’s highly relevant experience.

Yep, I put that euphemistically under “sexual maturing”. Even without particular ambition, you might continue learning something from time to time.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
2 years ago

Awh. You guys had a stats discussion and I wasn’t invited? I’m hurt. Curse my lazy desire for five hours of sleep a night!

I’ve found that a large number of these Incels are teenagers, just from my own biased sample. They’re in the belief that, if they don’t have sex in high school they’re virgins forever, and that that’s the worst possible fate. And – well, yes. That this pain of being sexless-at-18 is more important than the humanity of other people. Rapists without a spine.

There’s a good enough mix of older MRA-misog’s in there too, though, that I wouldn’t say it’s about teenaged angst turned up to 11. It’s about teenaged self-adsorbtion, certainly, but that’s more about men that never learn to see past the tips of their own dicks.

Either way, I’d rather argue about the definition of average. It’s a surprisingly complicated topic, because it varies depending on what you’re talking about! Mean, media and mode are more precise – but even then you have to be careful! Any time you’re reducing a sample or population into a representative value you’re losing important aspects of that group, so you have to think hard about what’s important and what can be dropped. That’s more important than which one you’re specifically using, I think.

Hexum7
Hexum7
2 years ago

So, it’s ‘I’m miserable because I Am deprived of a sex , but I’m over nineteen so I’ll never have a good sex life (it only works for a teen-aged Chad, Brock, or Brett as the recipient of cock worship (what a bizarre image that conjures). So, if I ever have sex I will be deprived still.

AND ITS ALL STACEY’S DOING!

Luckily, these worms have these outlets through which they can get understanding and encouragement.

Also, escortcel? Is that an unattractive gigilo?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

@Moon_custafer:

No one ever fantasizes about how great it would be to play a duet with someone who has never picked up a violin before.

Nope, these guys aren’t interested in duets, or skill, or even music. Women are the violin. And the audience is what counts.

the degraded version of your girlfriend/wife

Sex: a lossy compression format.

dust bunny
dust bunny
2 years ago

@ Ape

Oh, ok! For some reason I’m the shameless masturbation advocate of my own social network (it’s very strange, the roles we get stuck with) and I take every opportunity to say something in favour of it out of habit. I…should maybe rethink this.

@ Scild

You’re always invited to talk statistics, whether there’s a discussion going on about it or not!

Gaebolga
Gaebolga
2 years ago

My favorite abuse of statistics is telling people they have more than the average number of fingers and toes.

Because I’m mean….

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

OT, but something I found amusing.

Remember a couple threads back where I posted the old episodes of Square One Television and Mathnet? Well one of the episodes had something that was very amusing.

It was a 1990 episode where the culprit was literally a Donald Trump parody named Ronald Crump.

And what was the crime?

Aiding a foreign government against the United States.

https://youtu.be/V8u97IbKG-c?t=3898

Yes, the 1990 kids show was making fun of Donald Trump back then and portraying him as a treasonous cad. Well played, Mathnet writers, well played.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Scildfreja:

Rapists without a spine.

Apparently it takes more than a hydraulic skeleton…

(/biology nerd)

There’s a good enough mix of older MRA-misog’s in there too, though, that I wouldn’t say it’s about teenaged angst turned up to 11. It’s about teenaged self-adsorbtion, certainly, but that’s more about men that never learn to see past the tips of their own dicks.

I used to think incels aren’t much dangerous as sexual predators, not like PUAs who seem to cultivate the art of date rape.

Then again, they do very much propagate rape culture, and apparently some of them aren’t actually that lazy/incompetent at pushing their way with women. The extreme misogyny of the community attracts and inspires all kinds of creeps who aren’t “truecels”, people like that Nathan Larson or whatever.

AuntieMameRedux
AuntieMameRedux
2 years ago

Yup – I’m still reeling at the phrase “ancient 25 year old” too. So much so that I had to read it twice. There is just so much WTF there that I can’t even. Not to mention sweet cock worship by the Stacies – especially disconcerting because Stacy was my nickname as a child.

For incels and related misogynists smart enough not to say this stuff out loud sex as conquest, conquest not only of the body of the woman and the woman herself, I think there is a psychological component for these guys of victory by not genuinely interacting with the woman unfortunate enough to be in their bed or their fantasy. Their way they have victory not only over the woman but over the Feminine.

Sillabub
Sillabub
2 years ago

I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered a social movement quite so devoted to making (and keeping) everyone involved in it feeling miserable, bitter, and hopeless.

I don’t know if anyone has already mentioned it – and maybe it was on here I read it – but I saw a thing a while back about “crab buckets”. The idea is that if you put one crab in a bucket, it will try to climb out. Put a bunch of crabs in a bucket, and the ones at the bottom will actively try to stop the ones higher up from climbing out. And there are a few online “communities” that are crab buckets – pro-eating disorder ones, for example – but I have to say the first thing that always springs to my mind as a textbook crab bucket is the uncle community.

John Lucas
John Lucas
2 years ago

I didn’t start dating until I was 18. My adult romantic/sex life has, for the most part, been perfectly normal.

Just my anecdotal experience, of course.

Shakti
Shakti
2 years ago

Random question: why are all these names for these characters in Forever Aggrieved High School Virgin most popular in the 1970s and 1980s?
How old are these incels?

AuntieMameRedux
AuntieMameRedux
2 years ago

Also, in other parts of the culture wars, isn’t it considered a good thing when immature and inexperienced teenagers don’t have sex too early? OOOh! Oooooh! I know! Maybe, maybe, incels are the successful illustration of the wonders of abstinence only education!

(Just to be clear, I am aware of the sexual double standard and it is only girls/young women who are supposed to be abstinent and wait for the reformed rake to come and show them how it is done, but the hypocrisy of the entire thing just struck me.)

Citerior Motive
Citerior Motive
2 years ago

“No one ever fantasizes about how great it would be to play a duet with someone who has never picked up a violin before.”

I’m a violin teacher, so that’s something I’ve actually done.

Bakunin
Bakunin
2 years ago

I was a virgin until 22. Did not expect it to change. Extremely awkward, shy, poor, i had a good list of reasons why id be single forever. A friend set me up with a girl he knew, though that relationship went badly. She was way more into me than I was into her, so I called it quits before it got too far. Maybe a few weeks later, my current girlfriend invited me to go hang out with her and her girlfriend. How’d I do it? I didn’t really do anything. I was living my life, hanging out with friends, and ended up clicking with some people in my social circle. I wish I figured out that’s how it worked sooner. Might not have gotten me laid faster, but it would have made me feel better.

Which these incel assholes can’t seem to grasp. Friends, relationships, sex, whatever, those don’t just appear. You have to do stuff that puts you near people. Probably without doing it just to get laid either. But those are the very things that get shamed on incel boards as “cope”. Normal human social activities are literally and figuratively a four letter word to them.

Sillabub
Sillabub
2 years ago

Also just noticed that my phone autocorrected “incel” to “uncle” and I didn’t notice because I was trying to finish my comment before getting off my bus.

How embarrassing.

Cat Mara
Cat Mara
2 years ago

@Sillabub: I’m a bit of a language nerd and some years back I used to read some Singaporean bloggers because I find the Singapore dialect of English fascinating (using as it does regional or obsolete English vocabulary, particles borrowed from Malay and additional vocabulary from Hokkien Chinese) One of the common bits of “Singlish” slang was “uncle” meaning any creepy old guy. I guess a lot of incels are uncles in Singapore at least 😁

jone
jone
2 years ago

The thing about pedophilia is…it usually results from a desire to feel powerful over a feeling of attraction. It has less to do with sex and more to do with dominance. I’ve had the misfortune of coming across some anime porn featuring very young looking women, but they all had breasts. Unlike actual youths.

These idiots think ‘jailbait’ will be attracted to them because they don’t leave home often enough to know that is utter bullshit.
Not only that, they think children are stupid enough to fall for their “I’m a dominant male” fantasy.

Which is odd considering the whole “lean into your weakness” aspect of the incel um…I hesitate to call it a movement. Terrorist organization? Hate group at the very least.

Hey, if children 15 and under started coming out in droves, holding up signs saying “WE WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH CREEPY WHITE MEN!,” I would reexamine my opinions on pedophilia.

But they aren’t. It’s not about the kids or what they want.
It’s about all mighty white male crybabies who think they are entitled to whatever they decide they desire because they were born into a society which isn’t hard enough on them for being creeps and perverts.

Sillabub
Sillabub
2 years ago

@Cat Mara: funnily enough my partner is from Singapore so the Singlish use of “uncle” is never far from my mind! It’s just a generic term for an older man though, as I understand it.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Jone,

Yeah, when I was 15 or 16 I’d already learned to be wary of creepy adult men. I was hardly a “Stacy.” I was an awkward kid who was not only still a virgin, I’d never even made out with anyone. But I’d already experienced a legion of creepers and had no interest in them.

I think they know that not all teen girls will fall for their bullshit though. I fear they just target the ones too lost and vulnerable to know better.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
2 years ago

@jone, re:

“Hey, if children 15 and under started coming out in droves, holding up signs saying “WE WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH CREEPY WHITE MEN!,” I would reexamine my opinions on pedophilia.”

I would assume a cult or such put them up to it. Coercively. Like I know you’re talking in pure hypotheticals, but this shit is touchy, especially for survivors.

@WWTH

Your second paragraph is IMO one reason why queer kids of all sorts tend to be magnets for predators. Growing up queer in a normatively cis/hetero culture will make anyone feel like a complete outsider, and creeps take advantage of that heavily in my experience.

jone
jone
2 years ago

@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Of course hypothetical, and sarcastic to boot. It’s not a thing and I know for certain it would never actually be a thing. Just making a point. The voices of the potential victims are missing from the conversation entirely. It’s all about what they, the self-appointed-kings-of-the-world-not to-mention-the-internet want for themselves.

@Cyborgette

That’s true and people who are vulnerable get drawn into horrible situations by people who should know better. But the predatory types lack empathy and the desire to see outside of their own point of view… which dictates that “others” are pawns to be used and discarded. Sometimes quite literally.
Part of the issue with one race/gender/sexuality/religious type being placed in positions of authority more than others means some of them will take advantage of the automatic trust that’s placed in them and use it to the detriment of the well being of both individuals and society.
They think white men are demonized in this culture.
I say, not nearly enough.

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
2 years ago

@ Sillabub:

Oh thank goodness. I was wondering what the “uncle community” was, and dreaded finding out.

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
2 years ago

@Sillabub

I was quite intrigued by the “uncle community”

Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
Rhuu - apparently an illiterati
2 years ago

Re – older people having more successful/pleasurable/fun sexual experiences-

I think a real key point here that hasn’t been mentioned is that as people age, they learn about their own likes, interests, and kinks.

Then they communicate these to their partners.

Many not-cis men are not raised to confidently state their needs AND expect them to be considered/actually taken seriously. This takes time and experience to know how to do.

Also, hopefully the older cis-men have been in the world enough to have learned that not everything revolves around them and their particular wants, and that they should listen to their partner.

There is only one surefire ‘move’ that will most likely please everyone. It’s communication.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

The Finnish equivalent of “uncle” can also mean generally older man, and in Finnish feminist slang the kind of garden variety sexist man who’s stereotypically middle age or older.

Inasmuch as there’s an uncle community, it’s a mutually supportive old boys’ network (Finnish “good brothers”) rather than a crab bucket.

Jesalin: Clit-o-centric Lesbian Goddess
Jesalin: Clit-o-centric Lesbian Goddess
2 years ago

@Bakunin

Maybe a few weeks later, my current girlfriend invited me to go hang out with her and her girlfriend. How’d I do it? I didn’t really do anything. I was living my life, hanging out with friends, and ended up clicking with some people in my social circle. I wish I figured out that’s how it worked sooner.

Yep. That’s why the best advice I can give to anyone desperate to be in a relationship is, stop trying! Live your life, be yourself, learn to enjoy your own company and it’s fairly likely that it’ll ‘just happen’. That’s my own personal experience anyway.

Podkayne Lives
Podkayne Lives
2 years ago

Interestingly, in Elizabethan English, ‘aunt’ was slang for a mistress or prostitute.

Alexis Filth
Alexis Filth
2 years ago

Sign me up in the “Dicks are awesome and lovely” camp.
To be fair, I’m not an ordinary girl, in that I have one of my own, but still, if I’m dtf a guy, I’m all about that dick.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

@Jesalin:

Live your life, be yourself, learn to enjoy your own company and it’s fairly likely that it’ll ‘just happen’.

It didn’t in my case …

brian
brian
2 years ago

am I understanding this correctly? are they shifting the definition of “incel”? is it now, instead of literally meaning dudes who “can’t” get any, now just any dude who makes himself miserable obsessing over all the amazing theoretical sex he didn’t have as a teenager, regardless of how much actual sex he goes on to have in real life?

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
2 years ago

@Surplus

Give it time <3

Personal stuff:

I didn't have any sexual partners until I was 26, or serious relationships until I was 28. And in retrospect I'm really glad of that. From early on I'd internalized a lot of normative crap about how this was bad and True Love would fix me, if only I could find a partner who would control me and tell me what to do, and… yeah, if I'd kept going that way I would have landed with an abuser, and/or become one myself. As it was I got damaged a bunch by controlling people anyway.

(On which note, fuck female submissiveness indoctrination *so much*. It is pure evil.)

It took giving up on dating, and focusing on developing a few really good, really close platonic friends. Eventually I reached out platonically to someone I'd tried dating, and failed at… And we wound up dating again, and pacing each other in our transitions. Two years later we're still in love and still keeping an open relationship.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

@Cyborgette:

Give it time <3

How much? Because I’ve been doing as Jesalin suggested for at least the past 20 years and counting … or does it only work if you have enough discretionary income to socialize elsewhere than just on the internet and at family gatherings where someone else is paying the expenses?

vaiyt
vaiyt
2 years ago

Nobody is better at keeping incels down than incels themselves.

epitome of incomprehensibility

@Surplus to Requirements – Fair enough; it’s not a situation of “do X thing, get results,” because it also depends on other people. And yes, sometimes having enough money to go places. My advice would be not to expect a relationship. Also, not to expect not having a relationship. Generally, not to expect anything.

Mind you, I don’t think anybody can completely do that. 😛

Not to anyone in particular, but since people are talking about their experiences… well, I could say that I’m a 30-year-old virgin and I don’t mind? But that’s not quite true. From time to time I get upset about not having romantic love and/or sex, but I’m easily distracted. An hour later, I’ll probably be worrying about something more else, if I’m in a worrying mood.

Now, the incels would probably find me funny/pathetic – if they ever acknowledged that women have their own personhood – is that I’m also bisexual (re the stereotype that we’re supposed to be getting all the sex). From that perspective, I’m a total loser! Do I feel that way? Hell, no! Not for those reasons, anyway. 🙂

Last half-asleep thought: it’s true that I don’t really understand what it’s like to be desperate for a relationship (or even horny for long stretches at a time)! But I do understand what it’s like to have an obsessive worry – for me, at the moment, it’s “not being organized.” Juuuust (O incels) I’m not going to start an internet community bashing and dehumanizing everyone whom I feel is organized.

Prophet309
Prophet309
2 years ago

@Mish, Alexis Filth

Hmm, I guess it’s more complicated than I thought… Thanks for answering!

epitome of incomprehensibility

Oh! Addendum. I did date someone for a few weeks (three months?) in 2015. We didn’t really understand each other. It was confusing.

The last time we ever spoke, he visibly recoiled when I said I handed in the majority of my university projects in late. The look said, “What? What kind of monster ARE you?”

I’d already admitted to hitting someone in the face with a wine glass. That he minimized, even though it could have caused serious injuries, it was the worst single thing I’d ever done, I (at the time) still had panic attacks about it… But no, he was going to be shocked at the fact that I didn’t finish papers on time.

I guess everyone has their standards? People are weird.

Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
2 years ago

In my case I didn’t go out to socialise. I hated going out to disco or bars when I was younger. I met my girlfriend in college.🤷

Anonymous
Anonymous
2 years ago

Apparently there’s now communities for incel women now too (gee, weren’t they supposed to be nonexistent according to incels?) Below is one of their subreddits that I found linked on Fundies Say the Darndest Things, because of course incel communities of all types would be found there.

https://www.reddit.com/r/Trufemcels/

I don’t know how to put this-I honestly, truly didn’t think that something like this could even be possible. It does make me wonder one thing, though: if both incels and “femcels” want to get laid so badly, why don’t they just have sex with each other and be done with it?

Diptych
Diptych
2 years ago

Re: crab buckets… do crabs actually display this behaviour? And if they do, surely it isn’t out of spite – they’re just climbing over each other, trying to save themselves.

Also, regarding the metaphorical crab bucket… it’s such an individualistic view of poverty and oppression, isnt it? It presupposes that there are only two outcomes – that all the crabs stay in the bucket and die, ir that a small handful of crabs escape. No possibility that, say, they team up and burst the bucket.

Sly Fawkes
2 years ago

Jeesh, if I was a “used-up slut” at 25, what the hell am I at 53?
Hopefully, invisible to these jackwagons.
Much as I joke about jumping on the cock carousel every weekend and stopping after every third delivery I make to bang a Chad, the truth is, I have never been with a guy who would qualify as a “Chad” and I don’t give a fuck. In my experience, a lot of “hot” people are way too full of themselves for me to find them at all interesting.
Which means that these guys are even more pathetic than I already thought. What they’re saying is that any guy who didn’t bang a “Stacey” during his school days will spend his life filled with bitter, misogynist regret for not having achieved that goal. If I were a man, I’d be insulted by that assertion.

Wetherby
Wetherby
2 years ago

I’m a man, and I’m more amused than insulted by it because it’s such obvious bullshit that doesn’t remotely describe how my own life panned out – or, I suspect, that of just about any other male person that I know.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

@Diptych

Yes, crabs do really do that.

They’re not a whole lot smarter than people.