By David Futrelle
Sometimes it’s hard to tell if the incel obsession with “Jailbait” stems from their pedophile — sorry, I mean ephebophile — fantasies, or if they’re just looking for an excuse to suggest that all the adult men out there having sex with adult women are secretly as sad and pathetic as incels are.
Take, for example, this post today on Incels.is — a backup site for Incels.me, which has apparently been booted from the internet by its domain provider — setting forth the proposition that “if you miss out on teenage love, you are an incel for life tbh.”
Here’s the full text, if you want to avoid eyestrain:
OverBeforeItBegan
Highest inhib BDDcel
–
Joined
Jul 26, 2018
Messages
827
Today at 5:32 PM#1Getting some ancient 25 year old (at best) used up slut that is looking for a “safe man” after highschool/ college Chads and Tyrones are done using her holes is the equivalent of escortcelling. You might still get the occasional sex but it will be nowhere near the same as to what superior men got while you get the degraded version of your girlfriend/wife. She’ll just be reminiscing about her youth and the countless Chad cocks she got plowed by.
No love is as pure as Teenage Stacy worshiping your dick. You cannot make up lost time.
The one good thing about this is watching cucktears copers [i.e. commenters on the IncelTears subreddit] saying things like “i’m happy I met my wife when she was 30 years old because she’s more mature now and gives me better handjobs because of her experience “
You can feel their pain from their posts.
I suppose there’s a a third possible explanation here: that OverBeforeItBegan is trying to convince himself that his Incels.me handle is an accurate one by “proving” that there’s nothing he can do to make his life better so he might as well just wallow in misery forever.
Of course, it’s also possible that the correct answer is “all of the above” — that OverBeforeItBegan is a pedophile-sorry-ephebophile who wants to think most men are secretly as miserable as he is and that nothing will ever make anything better for any of them.
I’m not sure I’ve ever encountered a social movement quite so devoted to making (and keeping) everyone involved in it feeling miserable, bitter, and hopeless.
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@Mish: Yes, that’s a very good point. Teens were, and still are, mythologized in many Hollywood movies. The 1980s, for example, is sometimes referred to as the golden age of teen films, mostly for John Hughes’ movies like “16 Candles”. Hughes’ movies are some of the blandest, “white bread” flicks out there, IMO.
@Weird Eddie: Pretty sad that “Purple Rain” is in the bargain bin. Hard to believe it’s 35 years old, and Prince is gone.
@Cheerful Warthog: What perverse cruelty possesses people to hand kids that line? Rhetorical question.
@Bina
I think I’d have to award “most underwhelming” to testicles. They look weird, feel weird, and they aren’t particularly exciting or fun even if you’re looking forward to the rest of the the package. Naturally, plenty of men (and manly phrases) think they’re awesome.
I was going to reply with “I’ll see your dick, and raise you balls”, only it turns out that poker analogies don’t fit every occasion. Who knew?
I’m very much happier now than I was as a teenager. I know a lot of people are. Heck, I’m happier than last week; kittens will do that.
I think the idea that school days are the greatest is probably pushed by people who want their teenagers to shut up.
How old are the incels posting this stuff? I mean “25 year olds are ancient”, “30 year olds are more mature” and “you’ll never have a sex life if you’re not getting some as a teen” are all kind of understandable viewpoints from a sadsack 15 year old who’ll probably grow out of it. And creepy af from a full grown adult man.
@Dan Kasteray
21 is still pretty young. Plenty of people are still virgins long after that and still have happy sex lives. I mean, if we assume that the average age for losing your virginity is about 18, which seems to be what most suggest, then that means a whole half of people didn’t have sex at all in high school (or for an indeterminate number of years after) and the vast majority of them are not now living in incel hell.
Even people who lose their virginity under 18 are almost certainly not “getting plowed by countless Chad cocks” but are more likely having one or more vaguely satisfying fumbles with a single partner.
(engage stats pedant mode)
Mean age, not average age.
(disengage stats pedant mode)
Mean age makes sense. I see the figure usually cited as 16-17 and it seems ridiculously low for an average. The distribution must be fairly skewed.
@Z&T
such true
so much lol
so many lecherous senior citizens
Also, a shout out to everyone else who didn’t lose their virginity till they were in their 20s, has never managed to sustain a relationship past three months, and still manages quite a high level of happiness
And just out of curiosity, I’d be interested how incels explain the extremely high number of under 25s who are interested in women over 40. Seriously, I and all my friends on dating sites are deluged with dick pics, date requests, and propositions from guys who are young enough to be our sons
(thanks sweetie but I am 41 and looking for the closest equivalent I can find to Alan Tudyk)
It’s a whole thing. And while it’s about sex for some of them, for other’s it appears to be quite genuine. “Girls my age are boring” is something I hear a lot.
I think it’s because they grew up with the idea of milfs and cougars and as far as they’re concerned “the wall” is just not a thing. It always happened a bit, but it really started a couple of years ago, and it’s a little disconcerting to be honest.
I did actually go on a couple of dates, but they’re just too young. I feel like I’m taking advantage of them, and that’s not sexy 🙁
ftfy. Also, I too watch SootHouse. ☺
I never had a “teenage Stacy worshipping [my] dick” (either in my teens or later) and I’ve done all right for myself since.
I suspect I had more actual female friends in my teens than the average incel, thanks to a bizarre technique called “treating women as fellow human beings and listening to what they have to say”, but since my mid-teens coincided with the first outbreak of AIDS awareness campaigns I was ridiculously paranoid about sex, to the extent of largely avoiding PIV encounters. And perhaps because I had a fair number of female friends, I was also perhaps unreasonably concerned about unwanted pregnancy, as my mum had made it very clear to me that if anything like that happened she’d expect me to do the decent thing, and that precisely what constituted “the decent thing” would most likely not be my decision.
In retrospect, I think this was a thoroughly good thing, and for all sorts of reasons.
Oh, and by far my best sexual partner – as in most voracious, imaginative, adventurous and responsive – throughout the whole of my twenties was in her early forties. I find it impossible to imagine how any inexperienced teenager could come anywhere close to that – indeed, part of the problem with the incel worldview is that they’re convinced that sex with a virginal teen is some kind of amazingly mindblowing experience, whereas in a huge number of cases it’s merely fumbling, awkward, embarrassing and sometimes humiliating, especially when neither of you really knows what you’re doing but you’re determined to pretend otherwise.
(Which reminds me: circa twenty or thereabouts, I had a fascinating quasi-relationship with a close friend’s slightly younger sister, who was obsessed with sex to the point where it was practically all that she wanted to talk about with me, and I was only too happy to indulge her – up until then, these were by far the most graphic and psychologically complex conversations I’d had about sexual relationships with anyone else – but we never got around to actually doing anything aside from a single drunken snog under a lamppost one evening. So we were clearly physically attracted to each other, but I think we both instinctively knew that we weren’t destined to be soulmates – although she remains a friend to this day in a way that she might not have been had we crossed that line.)
@Jo
As they were talking about “a whole half of people didn’t have sex at all in high school”, isn’t it more likely they meant median? “average” is less wrong than “mean” in that case.
[pedantry intensifies]
But mean is exactly the same thing as average? What am I not getting here? Median (or mode, or midpoint of a distribution) should never be called average (or mean), that’s just wrong, and unnecessarily confusing.
@ Bina
I’ve known… some folks who do. Granted, most of them gay/bi dudes. But not all! Granted, the straight ladies who stan dick tend to be really young and/or have a strong & tragic “cool girl” vibe to them. But not all!
^ I took a while to type the above, the mean part is in response to Jo/Lumipuna rather than Pie.
@dust bunny
“Average” isn’t strictly defined. I kinda like Wikipedia’s definition, that it is some number representative of some set or distribution of numbers. People do indeed often use average to, uh, mean arithmetic mean, that that doesn’t mean that’s what it actually means. If you see what I mean.
The median is absolutely not the same as the mode, especially in skewed distributions. Don’t mix them up.
Anyway, depending on the distribution of numbers you’re looking at, the median could be a far better representation of them than the arithmetic mean. There’s nothing special about either kind of average, and there’s nothing to stop you picking the one that seems most appropriate.
I’d suggest that the arithmetic mean is not the best representation of a fairly skewed distribution like “age at which you lost your virginities, whatever that happens to mean”.
Despite talking about their supposed preference for vaginal tightness, incels are not actually out to have satisfying and fun sex.
They want women subjugated, so a vulnerable and easily manipulated young woman who they are taking advantage of is more of a turn on than a fully consenting partner who knows what they’re doing sexually. That’s the only reason any men ever creep on teen girls. Despite the widespread fetishization of them in our culture, it is not the time of life most women are at their height of attractiveness. In reality, most are awkward, still have childlike faces and frequently have acne and/or braces.
Never forget, incels are just rapists who lack the courage or social skills to successfully rape.
@wwth
beautifully put
Indeed not – a preference for vaginal tightness as distinct from something comfortably embracing strongly suggests that they’re not the slightest bit interested in female pleasure and want to come inside her as quickly as possible. Preferably without a condom, as that makes them feel more manly. See also their obsessive focus on the vagina as a receptacle for the penis, rather than any other parts of the female anatomy whose function is primarily to give her pleasure.
Indeed – I have a teenage daughter, and while I’m resigned to the fact that she’ll most likely be sexually active fairly soon, the notion of her or her friends being the epitome of sexual allure is just baffling to me. Except, of course, for the reason you state.
Which is why her mother and I are being graphically honest with her about what creepsters will be after (my wife is being especially blunt here, and from a position of considerable authority). Same goes for her sending sexually graphic messages and/or photos – we’ve been drumming into her that if she doesn’t want whatever she’s sending to end up on social media, she shouldn’t send it, no matter how much she trusts the recipient at the time (emphasis on the last three words). Thankfully, she seems level-headed enough to have taken all this fully on board.
@ Pie
I wasn’t mixing them up, just listing three separate things that should not be called “average”, two of them less immediately relevant and therefore in parentheses. I see how that looks now. It didn’t occur to me that could be read as me listing what I believe to be synonyms, because first, why would I do that, and second, who on this earth could ever think mode, median and distribution midpoint are the same thing????
So average is basically pretending to be a mathematical term, coyly implying it means mean, but actually ANY colloquial use of it is correct? Ugh, I think I’m developing an allergy to the word. This is causing me to break out in hives. Literally, my arms and neck are itching.
Aaaaaarrrrrgggghhhhh.
Yes, I meant to write median and somehow had a brain fart and wrote mean, thus looking like not only a knob, but an ignorant knob too.
Luckily I lost and then found my bag today, so I’m in a good mood which making a fool out of myself on WHTM has only slightly dented.
I’d go further than this. Many of them actively prefer it when their partner isn’t enjoying intercourse and it hurts and humiliates her. That means they’re making her do something she doesn’t like, ie. they’re using their power over her, which is satisfying to them. And some of them even think sexual desire and pleasure make a woman impure and unworthy, so sex should only be had in ways that make it umpleasant and painful for their partner (unless she’s the side piece jezebel, not the trophy virgin).
@Prophet309
It is generally true that men tend to obsess over, and attach too much value to, their penises, however…
TMI alert: dicks (that I’m interested in) are literally mouthwatering to me. And for the record, I’m neither young nor a Cool Girl 🙂
I think part of the problem is that most incels don’t know any real teenagers. They are going from films (and porn) where the part of a teenager is played by a glamorous 30-year-old
that’s not what real teenagers are like
(Obviously the teenage incels know other teenagers, but their perceptions are a bit skewed as it’s their entire peer group)
Jo:
I saw your meaning, and relied on your word choice instead of checking it against my own, somewhat rusty memory.
More than this, your average manosphere dude doesn’t even seem particularly interested in his own pleasure during sex.
It’s come up in discussions before how pick-up artists, notably Roosh in his rape guide Bang, don’t actually appear to enjoy sex at all. They’re just looking for “conquest” to massage their fragile egos.
(And on the average thing, I did mean “mean” but I was also giving a statistic that was colloquial rather than backed by research – i.e. this is the age generally perceived to be the average – so perhaps colloquial terminology was more appropriate than statistical)
Mish – Attaching value to the penis is a common stretching technique to make the penis longer. As for overdoing it, there’s no such thing as overdoing penis enhancement.