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“When you see a picture of Melania remember that President Trump gets whatever part of that juicy sirloin he wants,” gross commenter insists

Ladies! Check out this tasty hunk of man meat

By David Futrelle

Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, some dude drops this bit of erotic fan fiction into the comments here:

Whenever you see a picture of Melania always remember that President Trump gets whatever part of that juicy sirloin he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants. Male energy is dragon energy. MAGA!

Donald, is that you? (The dude’s #IP points to Poland, so probably not, but you never know.)

Assuming this didn’t come straight from The Donald himself — hey, he used to call up newspapers under a fake name to try to convince them that Madonna had the hots for him — I have a few thoughts.

Apparently MAGA now stands for “Make America Gag Again?”

Seriously, no one other than full-blown MAGAheads want to even think about Donald Trump having sex with anyone.

Indeed, Melania herself often seems to physically recoil from his touch. Look at these pictures and tell me with a straight face that these two have a happy sex life.

I mean, come on, dude, if you’re going to try to own the libs with your sexual fantasies about the Trumps, at least try to make them slightly more plausible than a Penthouse Letter.

Then again, it’s not clear if Mr. GreatBalls understands any better than President Grab Them By The Pussy himself that sex requires the consent of both partners. Seriously, dude, no man gets to have “whatever part” of his partner’s body “he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants,” no matter how much “dragon energy” he has.

For those of you feeling a bit queasy, here’s something of a brain cleanser.

https://twitter.com/m_yosry2012/status/1051149737863327745

Don’t be too harsh on the poor kitty. What happened the last time YOU tried to jump on top of the fridge?

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KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
6 years ago

I can believe the thing about dragon energy. Grand Dragon was a Klan rank, iirc.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
6 years ago

@thinwhiteduchess

Kat, I’m not sure what you are trying to say. I chose the name because its recognizable as a Bowie tribute.

Why would you pay tribute to Bowie with an offensive persona that he came to regret? What kind of tribute is that?

In later years, Bowie called the period from about late 1974 until early 1977 “the darkest days of my life” due to “astronomical” usage of cocaine and other drugs.[9] He blamed his offensive statements, erratic behavior, and fascination with Nazi and occult symbols during that time on his precarious mental state, and claimed that he could not even remember the late-1975 recording sessions for Station to Station.[10] “It was a dangerous period for me,” he explained. “I was at the end of my tether physically and emotionally and had serious doubts about my sanity.” [11] He also began to see the Thin White Duke as “a nasty character indeed”,[12] and later, “an ogre”.[13]

9. Buckley, David (1999). Strange Fascination – David Bowie: The Definitive Story (1st ed.). London: Virgin. pp. 258–75. ISBN 1-8522-7784-X.
10. Carr, Roy; Murray, Charles Shaar (1981). Bowie: An Illustrated Record. New York: Avon. p. 11. ISBN 0-380-77966-8.
11. “Bowie’s UNCUT interview on Low”. BowieGoldenYears.com.
12. Wilcken, Hugo (2005). Low. New York: Continuum. p. 24. ISBN 0-8264-1684-5.
13. White, Timothy (February 1978). “Turn and Face The Strange”. Crawdaddy.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Thin_White_Duke#cite_note-13

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
6 years ago

Why do I need to remember that Trump and Melania have sex? (or don’t)

I do not understand why this means anything about anything.

Also, FYI, I try not to look at pictures of Trump because he genuinely makes me want to throw up. I hate his face and everything else about him. I hate how awful his suits are. I hate how orange he is. I hate how he does that constipated face when he wants to pretend he has a brain. I hate how he’s an abuser who publically degrades women. I hate how he clearly confuses arrogance and strength, so surrounds himself with blowhard assholes because he thinks being able to swear and shout means you’re tough. I hate that he has attracted all the other people who have the same delusion; I’ve had managers like that, being able to shout does not mean you’re good at your job, Donald, you’re such a deludinoid. I hate how CRAP he is at being president, he’s just rubbish, it’s ridiculous, I could be president better than him. I hate – [deep breath, Violet. Deep breath. It’s ok]

I’m British, so I can’t do anything about him (can’t vote, can’t phone a senator, can’t complain, it’s not my country). And also I have Brexit. So tbh when I see a picture of the Donald I actually try not to think about how much sex he forces Melania to have with him, I gently change the channel. I have enough to worry about with how I’m no longer European thanks to our version of MAGA assholes, thanks. You can only do what you can do. And I can’t do anything about Donald except get my raised blood pressure treated.

Sorry, that turned into a bit more of a rant than I intended.

Thinwhiteduchess1
Thinwhiteduchess1
6 years ago

Kat I am not engaging with you further over my user name so your energy is best directed elsewhere.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
6 years ago

<3 Vi,

and it bears repeating from your rant up there. Our @GreatDoucheOfFire there isn't talking about consensual sex – he's saying Trump can rape his wife whenever he wants. "Whatever, whenever, however he wants." That's what "male energy" is to him. That's what this guy is reminding us about, that "real men" are about rape and the threat of rape, and we had best shut up or it's us next.

That's what "MAGA" is about, too. Making America Great Again is about Real Men being Real Men again. With all of the implications above. That's what "Greatness" is, that's what they're trying to bring back.

Thanks at least for being clear with your intentions, @GreatBallsOnFire.

Vic
Vic
6 years ago

@Button –

And the threat to kill the Constitution? Lolwat?

Yeah, that to me is the biggest tell that this is a self-done fake. “I love THE CONSTITUTION(TM) and my greatest fear is that the Lib’ruls will kill it…” – while ignoring that most US-based socialist/communist types (at least the ones I’ve heard) are more targeting capitalism than some dusty old document – so of course they put in their OWN fear rather than actually listen to the other side.

Hm, kinda like they do with everything else, isn’t it?

Katamount
Katamount
6 years ago

@WWTH

A man kills his family and then himself. The sheriff calls him a victim.

…when John List did exactly the same thing minus the suicide, he was put on the FBI’s Most Wanted List and was widely considered one of the more loathsome of the mass murderers up to that point.

Apparently, he should have waited 50 years until social media and he could have become the “victim.”

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
6 years ago

@ Violet:

Yeah, damn do I wanna rant like that. The Great Orange Buffoon has legitimized the behavior of spoiled elementary school bullies and made it the default. The cult of “because I can” has taken over, and stripped us of the (thin) veneer of civility we did have.

@ wwth:

I read the report in your link, and the husband sounds like a “perpetrator”, rather than a “victim”

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Oh, but he was just so sad and probably economically anxious that he just had to kill his family. Poor guy!

Alexisagirlsname
Alexisagirlsname
6 years ago

To be fair to “GreatBallsOfFire”, steak and mushroom is a pretty classic combination.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
6 years ago

To be fair to “GreatBallsOfFire”, steak and mushroom is a pretty classic combination.

“… thou art the non pareil”

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

steak and mushroom is a pretty classic combination.

DOWN, gorge. DOWN!!

@Scildfreja

Our @GreatDoucheOfFire there isn’t talking about consensual sex – he’s saying Trump can rape his wife whenever he wants. “Whatever, whenever, however he wants.” That’s what “male energy” is to him. That’s what this guy is reminding us about, that “real men” are about rape and the threat of rape, and we had best shut up or it’s us next.

It’s interesting how, in spite of this guy’s insistence that Trump can reach out and grab Melania any time, all the evidence suggests otherwise. I don’t know if there’s any truth to the rumors that they don’t share a bedroom (or even the same living quarters), but one can tell a lot from their body language when they’re in public. They’re so tense and awkward together. There was the hand swat, and the face fall, and the inaugural dance where he looked like he was trying to move a rolled-up carpet, and the way he walked ahead of her to greet the Obamas, leaving her to struggle out of the car by herself. And the fact that she insisted on staying in New York for five months so Barron could finish out the school year. Melania doesn’t look like she relishes being in physical proximity to him. She’s always very closed off.

If steak is on the menu, it’s a seasonal item.

Anyway, this whole “I just take what I want” mindset doesn’t work when everyone is doing it. We can’t all have “dragon energy”.

Kiwiwriter
Kiwiwriter
6 years ago

Don’t these clowns know that the Gropenfuehrer declared any woman over age 36 as being “washed up?”

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I’m so stealing Gropenfuehrer.

Kiwiwriter
Kiwiwriter
6 years ago

Remember: Great artists steal. Bad artists borrow. Be a “great artist.”

AuntieMameRedux
AuntieMameRedux
6 years ago

During the campaign and for months after the election, I was in an abusive marriage. (No longer thank heaven.)

Anyway, I often recognized the expression on Melania’s face as a close relative of the expression on my own. Living with a person who is empathy disordered is traumatic even if they don’t technically abuse.

OTOH, I’ve felt sorry for Melania. OTOH, I feel like she could leave, at least before the presidential run. Even if your goal is to marry a rich man with your beauty as collateral, couldn’t you do better than Donald Trump? Or, is it possible that she loved him at one point? Even if she did, it is clear that at this point she doesn’t even want to share a planet with him, much less a bed. In fact, I wonder if the reason M isn’t concerned about any infidelities on the part of her husband is because she is breathing a giant sigh of relief. Not to mention that marital rape seems to have been in Donald’s menu at least once. The story that came out about Ivana just had the ring of truth, even though it was later denied.

Meanwhile, possible extinction or mass die off coming to a planet near you. And even if all hands were on deck with the best angels of our nature the tasks ahead would be enormously complex and difficult and we would make at least some mistakes and suffer some unforeseen consequences. And where are our obsessions? Beyond denial and apathy and greed? Got to keep the women under control and available for dehumanizing sex. It is enough to make you think that the eco feminists had a point.

Sigh.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
6 years ago

I’m so stealing Gropenfuehrer

That was Garry Trudeau’s nickname for Arnold Schwartzenneger….

tho it SURE FITS the dumpster-fire

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
6 years ago

@AuntieMameRedux:

Even if she did, it is clear that at this point she doesn’t even want to share a planet with him, much less a bed.

A lot of Americans share that feeling, and most of the population of the rest of the world too.

Maybe we should all chip in and buy him a ticket on this:

http://www.mars-one.com/

A few dollars per person multiplied by a few billion people ought to be enough right?

Button
Button
6 years ago

@AuntieMameRedux

Not to mention that marital rape seems to have been in Donald’s menu at least once. The story that came out about Ivana just had the ring of truth, even though it was later denied.

Oh she never retracted the story, she just said that it felt like rape, but she wouldn’t characterize it as rape in the legal sense.

As small a retraction as she could make under the terms of the divorce settlement, I’m sure.

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
6 years ago

<3 AuntieMameRedux!

Good for you for gettin' on out of there! It's so hard to do that. My sister did exactly the same only a few years ago and it's still a challenge for her, she and her ex are still attached by way of her kids. All my best to you and yours. You done did good.

As for The Gropenfuehrer, I'd be surprised if Mr Grab'em-By-The-Pussy only had one isolated instance.

I've become quite an eco-feminist myself, I agree. Eugh. We're running out of time, and that's in a perfect world.

Fabe
Fabe
6 years ago

Maybe we should all chip in and buy him a ticket on this:

http://www.mars-one.com/

A few dollars per person multiplied by a few billion people ought to be enough right?

nah,I feel that the exploration and colonization of other planets should be done by brave individuals who want to expand the frontiers of human achievement and not by people we want to get rid of .

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
6 years ago

Australia managed well enough though, didn’t it?

PirateJennie
PirateJennie
6 years ago

WWTH and all

Perhaps the wrong article was linked but in the one posted a mother killed 4 of her adopted children, then herself. The other legal guardian (her husband) was questioned and not considered a suspect. My apologies if I misunderstood your comment.

Catalpa
Catalpa
6 years ago

@WWTH

The article that I’m seeing when I click your link is one of a mother killing her four adopted children and then herself. Which is horrific, and has the infuriating line of “she seemed to be a very loving mother except for this one incident”. But nothing about a father committing a murder suicide or being treated like a victim?