By David Futrelle
Just when I thought things couldn’t get any worse, some dude drops this bit of erotic fan fiction into the comments here:
Donald, is that you? (The dude’s #IP points to Poland, so probably not, but you never know.)
Assuming this didn’t come straight from The Donald himself — hey, he used to call up newspapers under a fake name to try to convince them that Madonna had the hots for him — I have a few thoughts.
Apparently MAGA now stands for “Make America Gag Again?”
Seriously, no one other than full-blown MAGAheads want to even think about Donald Trump having sex with anyone.
Indeed, Melania herself often seems to physically recoil from his touch. Look at these pictures and tell me with a straight face that these two have a happy sex life.
I mean, come on, dude, if you’re going to try to own the libs with your sexual fantasies about the Trumps, at least try to make them slightly more plausible than a Penthouse Letter.
Then again, it’s not clear if Mr. GreatBalls understands any better than President Grab Them By The Pussy himself that sex requires the consent of both partners. Seriously, dude, no man gets to have “whatever part” of his partner’s body “he wants, whenever he wants, however he wants,” no matter how much “dragon energy” he has.
For those of you feeling a bit queasy, here’s something of a brain cleanser.
https://twitter.com/m_yosry2012/status/1051149737863327745
Don’t be too harsh on the poor kitty. What happened the last time YOU tried to jump on top of the fridge?
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I didn’t see it mentioned elsewhere but the “dragon energy” comes from something Kanye West said about he and the rancid cheeto. Apparently they both have it.
It’s spreading into memes and has already been picked up by some of the alt-right. It’s a bunch of blather about the charisma & power a few choice men possess enabling them to be leaders.
Essentially it’s today’s “tiger blood” except I don’t think it’s also an anabolic steroid.
@AuntieMameRedux
Say what you will about her, I’ve never seen anything to indicate that she’s anything but a loving mother, which is why people dreaming of an October Surprise in the form of her asking for a divorce are, IMO, just dreaming. I don’t think she’d ever risk jeopardizing access to her son, and since Trump knows that and is a petty little man, if she did ask for a divorce he’d do everything in his power to get custody, just because it would hurt her. And since he’s the president, everything in his power is a fair bit. They’d mysteriously discover some undisclosed immigration problem with her and lock her up. (Okay, that last bit may, but only may be hyperbole.) So she might not feel that she can leave, at least not yet.
The day after Barron turns 18, though…
@Rabid Rabbit
This. Hands up who thinks Donald would be the kind of co-parent who makes sure his ex has equal time with the child, never says anything nasty about his ex, and never attempts to turn the child into a weapon to use against her.
Anyone? …Anyone?
I absolutely agree. Let’s face it, we will never know what is going on with Melania. She might be the evil puppet master to Donald’s front man, for all we know. But my personal interpretation of how she appears is: an abused woman who prioritises being a mother, never wanted to be first lady (I think that is important. I can imagine Michelle Obama taking on the decision to run, with everything that entails, as part of her life with Barack. I very much doubt Melania was even consulted) I see her as trying to make the best of a sequence of appalling events and bad decisions.
I’d also add in that she hasn’t worked, as far as I know, since she married him – which means she is also dependent on him financially and would continue to be dependent after any split.
@Scild @Weird Eddie
Thanks guys.
It’s just so depressing. If someone really feels they must charge around dismantling human rights, grabbing pussies and exiting climate change agreements like some kind of supervillain, they could at least do their subjugated and tortured masses the favour of buying a decent suit.
The man has no class whatsoever. It’s really quite an achievement, when you think about it.
@Violet:
I very much doubt Donald was even consulted. I think Putin or one of his goons just called him up one day and said, “Run for President. Or else $(something_something_tax_returns_money_laundering_or_pee_tape).”
Here’s a little video to depress you a little: this was done in the 30’s, and we’re struggling with the same thing today.
Here’s a little video to motivate you: the message still rings true today and despite how bad it might seem, we’re still winning the struggle.
Re Melania Trump
What kind of prenup might they have? Probably one that has already enrichened his lawyers more that it’d ever enrichen her.
And this is why your kids should learn to launder their own money.
I love how the kitty, after the epic fail, still gazes with intention at the fridge. One day!
@Scildfreja Unnyðnes
I like the video, but admit I am a bit hung up on the use of “man” or “men” to describe all people of earth.
Otherwise it would be perfect.
You all made me smile today, coming to check the site and finding so many wonderful replies. Thank you all so much.
@jone – I was wishing just yesterday that English had a gender neutral word that described all of humanity and didn’t have man as it’s root. People I guess, but that is awkward when trying to use it in place of Man or humanity. Do other languages do a better job at this?
@Surplus – I would definitely pitch in to blast Trump off into space, but I honestly don’t think we are getting off the planet anytime soon. Nor do I think we should get off the planet until we prove ourselves better at managing the planet and the society we already have.
@Rabid Rabbit and Lumipuna – I agree that Melania loves her son and that she didn’t want to be first lady. I once said to a friend that I thought she stayed because of Barron and was trounced that DT had allowed the mothers of his other children custody. However, the circumstances are different and the stakes higher. I have no doubt that DT would use every possible weapon he had. Think what Melania could reveal. I hope she does escape because I do feel sorry for her.
@Button – Thank you for the clarification. That makes perfect sense.
@Scildfreja – Good luck to your sister. Bound by children is a difficult and lifelong issue. One that thankfully didn’t apply in my case. That said, women have less power and less safety than we think – even when we think we have put some protections in place.
As for the ecofeminism, the other day, understanding of the connection between how women are viewed and how the earth is viewed and treated came into alignment for me on every level of my being. Both nature and women conflated with nature are seen as dangerous sources of wealth that must be not only exploited but controlled and hated/feared.
I think this further connects to how socialization of men as children requires them to define their identity in absolute opposition to anything feminine – in other words in opposition to everything they learn about being human in the first five years of their lives. How could this ultimately lead to anything except exploitation and isolation?
In terms of the planet, we then have to add the non-gendered issues of an out of control survival instinct, often not identified for what it is in daily behavior, the cognitive dissonance of walking out the door and not seeing an immediate apocalypse that requires response, the successful use of propaganda and short term pragmatism combined with the human tendency towards habitual compulsions make the issues seem insurmountable.
I’ve always loved that clip of Charlie Chaplin. He really captured the universal predicament didn’t he? Especially poignant if you consider that he made that when we were at a similar moment in our war cycle historically – if you give any credence to cyclic theories of history.
Thanks again everyone. You all really cheered me up today.
@AuntieMameRedux
The thing about “humanity” is that it only sounds like it’s got “man” at its root in English. “Humanity” is derived from Latin, while “man” is derived from the Germanic languages. So Romance languages (French, Italian, etc.) can use their variants of “humanity” without giving the impression that they’re being patriarchal, while English can’t because we automatically assume the “man” in the middle of “humanity” is gendered, even though it’s not. For instance, in French “human” is “humain” while “man” is “homme,” and while they both have an H and an M in them, they don’t sound at all the same. Of course, that doesn’t mean that French hasn’t used “les hommes” to mean all humans, but shifting to “les humains” doesn’t seem like a half-measure in that language.
Basically, “humanity” is gender-neutral, it just doesn’t sound that way if you emphasize the middle syllable.
Thanks Rabid Rabbit. I generally use humanity, but now I will feel better about doing so. Hmm, I think the difference is that there is a difference between the words used for man and woman – homme and femme – man and woman – and every person on the planet or in history – humains or humanity. It is clearer in French.
@jone,
That grates on my ears too! If it were done today I’m sure that universal statement would have been a lot more universal.
It makes me think of the ways we talk that would grate on future ears. Talking about humans when we should be talking about all living things, for example. That sort of thing.
It’s good, though. It shows that we do progress. In fits and starts and stumbles, but the past always gives way to the future. Gives me hope.
@AuntieMameRedux,
Thank you for the kind words about my sister. She and the kids all live close, literally a lazy ten minute walk away, so she’s got an excellent fallback if things go bad. She’s also gotten much more aware of having a phone and an escape plan. She is a clever duck and is doing great, along with the kids.
On Ecofeminism, I absolutely agree that a huge part of the issue is how we socialize boys and treat men. Anything that’s nurturing or warm or caring is feminine, and we teach boys that they’re supposed to be above the feminine. I’d have to argue with your point that we start that when they’re five years old, though. I think it happens far earlier than that. I don’t have kids myself but am very involved with my sisters’ kids, and I can say that I’ve seen it happen with them and others well before that point. Fixing this is going to require digging very deep.
It’s a really tough nut to crack, the environmental Ragnarok we’re seeing on the horizon. Humans are actually quite good at coordinating – as far as animals are concerned, at least. This challenge is the biggest we’ve ever faced and we’re going to have to coordinate like never before to meet it.
I think we can do it though. Once moms realize that the lives of their children and grandchildren are very literally at stake here, the tiger is going to wake up and she is gonna be piiiisssed…