By David Futrelle
Fellas! Be careful out there! Always wear a gas mask when you’re in the vicinity of an egg-laying lady, lest she ensnare you with her secret love gas!
Here’s today’s sexy science lesson, which I found on Reddit’s Bad Women’s Anatomy subreddit. (Obviously this post only applies to cis women’s anatomy, or it would, anyway, if it bore any relation to reality.) I’m not sure where it came from originally. I hope it was a joke, but sadly I suspect it was not.
Thanks, Mr. Science!
We Hunted the Mammoth relies entirely on readers like you for its survival. If you appreciate our work, please send a few bucks our way! Thanks!
Maybe he means toad ‘women’?
I mean, this must just be a pisstake of manosphere pseudoscience, mustn’t it? It’s just too ridiculous.
But, then, the fact that this might possbly be real MRA crap does just go to prove Poe’s Law, you’re right.
@Cybergette
Thanks. I enjoyed the laugh. (Ovipositor… *snerk*)
——————
@Epitome of incomprehensibility
Good point. Wings, laying eggs, children of the dinosaurs. I could go with that.
Or the way the Tenctonese do it, where the women carry the kid for the first half, then transfer the baby to the male to finish off the pregnancy. Can you imagine how our igno-boys would react to that idea?
@ JessicaRed
It is indeed, but still not a patch on total ignorance and making things up!
Just been reading reviews of Michael Lewis’s book on the Orange One’s administration and how nobody even came to find out what the different departments do and how they do it. That seems to be pretty much the lesson of the book: ignorance can be deadly.
It’s a miracle these guys can even figure out how to brush their teeth.
I have seen anti-birth control pill types claim that natural birth control via fertility awareness is easy because a man can tell that his wife is fertile by smelling her scalp.
David Futrelle,
You sure that this guy isn’t describing an extraterrestrial women and this is part of some weird sci fi story. I think that pretty much everyone on the planet knows that human women don’t lay eggs.
I think this is just a bad translator bot, myself. You know, the kind that yoinks core copy and replaces the text with synonyms to avoid screening?
If that’s true, the idea that people actually think incels are worth specific bot-targeting may disturb me me more than having someone out there who’s actually spewing this.
Ready for my scathing takedown that implies I’m somehow actually supporting the idea that women lay eggs, now.
@ corny, Katherine, bananana;
Hot girls don’t POOP… they do, however, fart….
Is scalp smelling part of their foreplay?
Maybe smelling your wife’s scalp is an effective form of birth control because it’s enormously off-putting.
@ skullpants
Thank you for this gem. And the whole piece. They were the best thing about my day, and my day was pretty ok actually.
Maybe this incel is a Martian from Edgard Rice Burroughs Mars novels
My vespene gas brings all the terran colonist to the yard.
What about menopausal women? Perhaps we exude a man-repelling gas. Yes, that must be it. That, plus a little bean and cabbage induced flatulence, should keep me safe from these guys. ☺
@dust bunny Thank you! It makes me happy to hear your day is going well…hope the rest of it was good too 🙂
@Dormousing_it
No, we exhude a gas that makes us invisible. Quite usefully so on occasion.
@Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Now I’m imagining Chicken Lady on an elliptical, an explosion of feathers as soon as MAN speaks…
Lots of geekery in this thread and yet ever since saint_somnia’s breathes-through-skin challenge its all been very…
…quiet?
@saint_somnia:
@Cheerful Warthog:
Ah yes; Quiet from Metal Gear Solid: The Phantom Pain, whose designer disability requires her to maintain a vow of silence and wear minimal clothing; I’m somewhat cynically disappointed that Kojima didn’t throw in a compulsion to make sammiches. (That said, the idea of targeted viral sabotage of languages and therefore cultures is powerfully intriguing.)
Full Metal Ox:
That’s Kojima all over, really, isn’t it? “I’m going to bring up an interesting, powerful idea, a point that allows for artistry and interest, that can truly be interrogated and can even confront my audience. Now I’m going to cover this idea in juvenalia and sexism. Now a dash of John Carpenter and/or 80s music… and we’re done!”
A brilliant artist in many ways, certainly an auteur, but “flawed” doesn’t come close to covering him.
Wait, now I’m confused. Is this “hysterectomy” operation I’m having in December to remove a uterus-thing, or an ovipositor-thing?
I guess I’m no longer giving off gas through my skin, because the Chads just aren’t coming around anymore.
(I’m having a hysterectomy in December to remove a uterus or ovipositor full of polyps and benign tumors. Not that anyone was worried about me or anything, but just in case anyone wondered.)
@Cheerful Warthog:
A confession is in order: I’ve never actually played Metal Gear Solid; I got the gist of it from a Tumblr comm called Bikini Armor Battle Damage.
Here (if you’ve not seen this already) is one (male) gamer’s exasperated critique of Quiet’s uniform (warning for NSFW language):
http://bikiniarmorbattledamage.tumblr.com/post/129199254102/daniel-submitted-jim-sterlings-take-on-quiet