By David Futrelle
When an adult man hits on, or simply obsesses about, underage girls, most of u see that as predatory behavior. Heck, the word “predator” is even in the title of that old Dateline Series with Chris Hansen.
But not so fact! According to one ingenious fellow posting on the Incels.me forum, it’s not creepy for adult men like him to salivate over “prime jailbait.” It’s basically a form of sexual self-defense. You see, women age — no really! –and only by pursuing young teen girls can men protect themselves from getting trapped for life by a woman who will grow old and ugly on them.
“The point of getting with a 15-year-old girl isn’t just a preference for 15-year-old girls,” writes Leucosticte, a prolific commenter on Incels.me with nearly 1300 posts to his name. “it’s also a preference to NOT be stuck with an old hag for more years than is necessary.”
That’s the tl;dr. But the route Leucosticte takes to get to this conclusion is somehow even creepier than the conclusion itself. So let’s go through it.
Leucosticte starts off his post by portraying men as hapless victims of an army of purple-haired fat girls oppressing them by being purple-haired fat girls in their presence — thus preventing these poor fellows from getting the “looksmatched” partners that are evidently their birthright.
Most men these days, even betas, will not get their looksmatch. So many girls these days are mentally and physically unsuitable for producing offspring with, because they’re venereally-diseased sluts, morbidly obese landwhales, and/or borderline-personality-disordered, purple-haired, septum-pierced freaks, that there’s not much left to choose from, for those men who even have the luxury of a choice.
Such oppression!
That’s a tough pill to swallow, but what’s even worse is that women age a lot less gracefully than men. That means, even if — by some miracle, given the realities of today’s sexual marketplace — she starts out being your looksmatch, as time goes on, your looks will still be pretty close to what they are now, but hers will go into a much steeper decline.
By contrast, incels age like fine wine whine.
Eventually she’ll be an old hag who’s an embarassment to be seen with.
Because apparently the most important thing about having a girlfriend or wife is what complete strangers think about her looks relative to yours.
You see this all the time — a good-looking guy in, say, his 40s or 50s, is with his agematched wife, who’s now so wrinkly that she looks the creature from the black lagoon, only uglier.
Honestly, no, I don’t see that all the time. Sure, I’ve seen conventionally attractive men walking hand-in-hand with less conventionally attractive women, but I’ve also seen plenty of “pretty women out walking with gorillas down my street,” as the Joe Jackson song has it, Most of the time, though, the straight couples I’ve encountered in my life have tended to be roughly “looksmatched” — that is, both partners are similarly situated on that supposedly objective ten-point scale so beloved by pickup artists and incels alike.
I have yet to meet anyone who even vaguely resembles a fictional aquatic monster-person.
No matter how successful he may become, he’s still lower-status, in a way, than a teenaged Chad who gets to be with a fresh jailbait, because he doesn’t have that same privilege of enjoying that tight, youthful pussy.
I would offer some sort of rebuttal here but I’m too busy throwing up in my mouth a little.
Imagine working hard your whole life and realizing, your only reward is money and power that can’t be converted into the only currency that matters, i.e., sexual access to fertile teenage girls.
The only “currency” that matters to you, you creepy fuck.
As you become middle-aged, if you’ve stayed in good health, your dick will continue to be capable of getting just as hard as it does now (when you’re given the proper stimuli); but your wife’s pussy will loosen significantly over time, so it’s not just her form but also her function that will decline.
I would say something about it being pretty obvious that this guy has never actually been with an older woman, but it’s even more obvious that he has never been with any human females of any age.
You’ll be walking through the house and wonder, “What’s that weird smell?” and then realize, it’s just the accumulated sweat under her sagging breasts that’s starting to stink like an armpit.
Well this is a new one to me. I had no idea that middle-aged married men were being oppressed by their wives’ … underboob BO?
Her female appendages are no longer as pert and bouncy as they once were; they’ve fallen and they can’t get up. She needs to call Life Alert.
This is clearly a guy whose entire understanding of human anatomy comes from anime. It’s perhaps appropriate to point out that his avatar on Incels.me is an anime schoolgirl tied down on a deck.
This is all just part of marriage, but it should at least be staved off as long as possible into the future. The point of getting with a 15-year-old girl isn’t just a preference for 15-year-old girls (although that does have a certain allure); it’s also a preference to NOT be stuck with an old hag for more years than is necessary.
I’m going to let Jennifer Lawrence handle the response to this one.
Thet’s not really strong enough. Let’s have another go at it.
Still not enough.
Closer. Let’s add a bit of this:
And a couple of these:
Combine in pot. Bring to a boil, stirring occasionally.
When you’re forced to settle for an older foid, you not only get fewer years with her when she’s in her youthful prime, but you’re subjected to more years with her when she’s such a dessicated, walking corpse-like bag of decayed flesh that every day when you wake up in the morning and see her lying next to you, you panic initially before you sigh with relief to realize, it’s not actually the zombie apocalypse, but just another day with your wife.
Jennifer?
The world’s biggest pile of bullshit, possibly.
Still, it’s a real punch to the gut to realize (maybe after having had a nice dream of teenage pudenda) that she’s all you’ll EVER have from that point onward; and not only that, but her looks will continue declining even further until finally the grim reaper mercifully arrives to take her away.
Sorry, Ms. Lawrence, we’re still not done here yet.
Leucosticte keeps digging his hole deeper:
But even then, you STILL can’t get with a prime jailbait because that would be considered gross, disgusting, predatory, etc. even if you haven’t aged too badly and a lot of chicks would actually prefer an older man such as yourself.
We return you now to the red carpet where Jenifer Lawrence has some more thoughts on the question of whether young women are desperate to bang middle-aged incels.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, Leucosticte brings in Ivanka Trump.
Why do you suppose Trump is so fond of Ivanka? He got to be with her throughout her youthful prime, and she’s still a lot younger than him.
WHAT!? Is Leucosticte confusing Melania (Trump’s latest wife) with Ivanka (his favorite daughter)? Or does he actually mean to say Ivanka.
As [Trump] says, 35 is check-out time. But, if you’re not allowed to check out, at least if you’ve been with her since she was, say, 15, that’s 20 years of memories you can treasure and look back on as you’re trying to get aroused enough to get an erection you can shove into the cleft between the arthritic legs of the half-mummified living carcass that is her body.
Come on, man, you’re making J Law go dead inside.
Leucosticte now decides to bring Brett Kavanaugh into the mess.
I think the reason Kavanaugh mentioned he was a virgin throughout high school and college is to make the point, “I didn’t even get ANY teenage pussy, so that makes it all the worse that now I have to pay a penalty as though I did try to rape a girl in her nubile prime. I should at least get to do the crime if I’m going to do the time.”
Er,
I’m not sure how much more of this I can take.
He spent all those decades orbiting dozens of chicks, and people don’t even want to consider those girls’ statements about his character credible. If he doesn’t get confirmed,
(This was posted before Kavanaugh was confirmed.)
he might as well just flip out and go ER [Elliot Rodger], because that means the Senators think he’s a rapist, which for him would be the epitome of getting cucked.
Yes, that’s right. He honestly suggested that if Kavanaugh hadn’t been confirmed to the supreme court, he would have been reasonable for him to go murder a bunch of people as revenge for the fact that he didn’t score himself some “primo jailbait” back in high school
That’s how these guys think.
L Jaw, any thoughts from you on this weird twist ending to Leucosticte’s terrible post?
Aw, crap. I think Leucosticte broke Jennifer Lawrence. I feel kind of bad for bringing her into the middle of all this in the first place.
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Just as many men have STIs. Just as many men have piercings, tattoos and dyed hair. Just as many men are fat. So what’s the problem? People still get to be looksmatched!
I keep hearing from the manosphere that men are all super hot and desirable in their middle age. Yet I keep looking around and not seeing tons of George Clooneys around me? Where are all these George Clooneys I keep getting promised? Because where I’m from, the men seem to display the same aging signs as women. Except for they also get bald.
How much do you want to bet that he saw a middle aged man taking his mother out to brunch or something, mistook them for an age matched couple and got all freaked out?
Poor oppressed men. All they have is money and power. So sad!
I’m not even touching the Ivanka stuff.
http://oohlo.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/08/jlawscream1.gif
I’m literally starting to believe an extremely significant proportion of heterosexual, cisgendered men are rapists.
Seriously, my entire experience reading your blog David has taught me this.
well this is absolutely the worst thing i’ve read on this site so if you made it or couldn’t read it here is a 100% wholesome vine compilation to help calm you down or use as brain bleach, whatever you may need.
https://youtu.be/flSGJOb7sxk
I’m getting a septum piercing in a couple of days. Following this blog was the little thing that clinched my decision (seriously). I’m in my late 30s and probably aging out of trendy body modifications, but I definitely haven’t aged out of being creeped on, and the fact that creepers apparently really hate facial piercings made me want to do it that much more.
Dude, with a “preference” for 15-year-old girls, you’re not in danger of getting “stuck” with anyone. Not an old woman; not a younger woman. Not even an immature young thing who’s barely begun to menstruate, and whose biggest concern is not how to please your dick, but how to stop getting pimples. Fess up: You’re that creepy 40ish guy at the mall, the one who lurks around the food court glaring over stacked trays at everyone, aren’t you?
Either that, or you’re somebody who doesn’t get out nearly enough. Not even to the food court. Because what you’re seeing out there…
…isn’t what anyone else is seeing. And we’re seeing all kinds, probably because we get out more and use our eyes better than you do.
Dude, with that much projection going on, you should be working in a movie theatre. But I doubt you’d be able to focus adequately.
And in fact, I see most men aging far more poorly than same-age women do. Men are not expected to take care of their looks. They’re not taught to use moisturizer with sunscreen! They’re taught that grey hair and wrinkles and flat butts and chicken legs are all “distinguished”, not “old”. So of course they do nothing about those signs of encroaching age, and they still expect women young enough to be their daughters (or even granddaughters) to find them wildly attractive. And lo and behold…most of us don’t.
I look at guys my own age and a remarkable number of them look too old for me. They are aging faster, and aging worse, and thanks to social conditioning, they’re totally oblivious to everything except their sagging dicks. Which they try to prop up with younger women…and VIAGRA.
Says the guy who’s an embarrassment even when he’s hiding behind the internets. And he wonders why he’s an incel?
Yeah, dude, you’re not creepily obsessed with things you shouldn’t be touching. Not at all!
(Don’t anyone tell him that there are actual teenage girls out there getting plastic surgery on their genitals because, thanks to the unreal world of the same porn this guy whacks off to, they’ve been conned into believing that their perfectly normal genitalia are too big and floppy. He’d probably blow his last gasket.)
Once again we see incels are only interested in sex when its a status symbol. Having sex because it makes a man feel good, much less a woman, doesn’t mean anything to them.
i love that i’m oppressing men with my underboob sweat. i feel so powerful.
The fixation is gobsmacking. I mean, I say all the time that society conditions us to prize female youth and beauty above, well, most stuff, but then I see these guys, and realize that most of us are actually pretty well-balanced in comparison.
Don’t get me wrong, having sex with young women is nice. I got to do it a few times myself, back when I was also a young woman, and it’s a very nice experience. But when you realize that you’re dealing with someone who literally thinks that no amount of power, money or (dare I say it) love acquired in the course of a full life can give you a higher status or happiness than a teenage boy who gets to have sex with his teenage girlfriend…dude. Dude.
This. Is. Not. Healthy.
@Bina
::pulls off Leucosticte’s mask::
Jinkies! It was Judge Roy Moore all along!
No, most teenage girls think you’re old and gross.
Apart from the fact that our little incel friend is unlikely to have any women of any age, there’s nothing like this lust for youngsters to proclaim “I’m not a good choice for a mate for any woman”. A guy who wants only a firm young body has just announced that he is NOT likely to stick around after she’s had a baby or two, but will be on the search for the next teen. If you are not fit to stick around and be a father to the child, you’re not fit as a mate under any circumstances.
isn’t he an INCEL??? how does he know so much about married life? or is this some unmarried dude who has worked out this whole elaborate miserable fantasy about a life he believes he’ll never even have?
@brian
It’s “cope”, which includes, among other things, the (fantasy) stories incels tell themselves so that they don’t choose the alternative, “rope” (i.e. suicide).
Yeah, incels are kept on this side of alive by hate and spite, mostly.
There is a third alternative, “hope”, but that’s beyond the reach or comprehension of these guys.
Incels: All real boobs sag. Only A cups or smaller don’t sag. The bigger the boobs, the more they sag.
I have H cups. I can bury my face in my own cleavage if I so desire.
If you see huge tits that don’t sag? Those are silicone.
If these dudes are so fucking worried about old, mummified vaginas, I have a solution to all of their problems, one that won’t get them put on a sex offenders list. Fleshlights, or Tenga Eggs, or any other of the numerous, numerous sex toys that emulate vaginas. You can buy one hot off the presses, less than 1 year old (over 15 times younger than those dried up old 15 year olds!), and you can be assured that it will never be involved with anyone but yourself. And replacing it after it gets old and saggy is as easy as chucking the old one and ordering a new one! It’s perfect!
Okay, so you won’t be able to take your brand new sex toy out to show off to people, but why would you want to? Going outside just means being exposed to monsters from the black lagoon with piercings and dyed hair! You don’t want to subject yourself to that. Stay inside, far, far away from any other human being. It’s the only way to be completely safe from the foids.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to pick up some magnetic earrings, press-on tattoos, and a rainbow wig so that I have incel repellent. (Unfortunately I am way too much of a wimp to get real tattoos/piercings, and too impatient to dye my hair. Fortunately, I am a devious, deceitful woman and I know how to improvise.)
Can I just say, this is the most depressingly accurate typo of 2018.
@Knitting Cat Lady:
Or if they’re not huge, but unusually big for her body, padded bras. As I once said to some guy who was lamenting that in his youth there were not girls like today’s… “have you ever noticed how the street is filled with thin women with big round perky tits and yet there are none of those at the beach?”
@Bina: you said what I was going to say about men and women ageing but much more eloquently.
I must be imagining all those Viagra and Cialis ads, then. Or is this fine gentleman implying that the only reason males sexual power decines is the lack of young pussy?
Also, someone needs to work on that fixation with pussy tightness. It’s obvious this guy has never had sex, or if he had it it was not remotely consentual. Pro tip: if you feel anything close to tightness, you’re probably causing her pain.
If he acts on his Humbertish obsession (I think I need a brain bleach) the only person he’s likely to ‘be with’ for any length of time is a tough cell mate. If he doesn’t get murdered by another prisoner.
I’ve been lurking on this blog for a very long time and the thing that I find interesting here is how the idea of low status/beta/cuck male has developed from a man slavishly devoted to his cheating partner who only uses him for money, or a man who dates single mums (the first of which isn’t something that happens at all often and the second most people don’t see as a humiliation – but are still nonetheless observable things that can happen in the real world) to “any man who doesn’t get to have sex which teenagers”. The fantasy land of handsome James-Bond-like-men older men, their crone wives, teenage giga-chads with their amazing sex lives with their underage girlfriends who are frustrated in their efforts to partner-up with men in their 40s… It’s just all so absurd, and shows how far the ideology has retreated into an alternate reality.
Dude, Shape of Water just won the Oscar. The creature from the black lagoon is a 2018 sex symbol.
This guy wishes he could ever have a woman look at him like this.
The creeper talks about Bouncing boobs yeah his knowladge of female anatomy clearly is soly based on anime and hentai
Kevin, please don’t insinuate that prison rape or other prison violence is predictable, inevitable or deserved.
Imagine the frightful dystopia that we live in where the person most likely to have sex with a teenage girl is a teenage boy and such girls don’t consider letting an older creep get with her just because he’s got money. The horror!
…This guy is really and creepily keen on 15 year old girls. Maybe someone needs to put him on a watch list.
Why do some men seem to believe that they do not indeed have their own variety of a pair of ‘low hangers’ as they hit a certain age range, and don’t even get the help of a lifting undergarment…It’s not size that causes such drooping in men, just how the male body is designed. Yet, young women are supposedly desperate for the chance to be with a paunchy, saggy, bitter and critical middle aged man – presumably the ones creepily glaring at them in clubs and bars who complains on the interwebs about women ‘past their prime age’ of what…15? GROSS, incel-dude. Quit trolling the high school parking lots looking for a teenage girl who strays too far from the safety of her friends group.
I know it’s often observed that these manosphere dudes are weirdly obsessed with women’s fertility and procreation given they are clearly uninterested in and incapable of raising a child. In this instance, though, a further caveat needs to be added that 15 is NOT an age were a woman is most “suitable” for giving birth. Even if she’s menstruating, her body and her hips in particular are unlikely to be as developed as they later become.