Brett Kavanaugh: Incel hero?

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By David Futrelle

Yesterday, in an interview with Fox News, asshole Supreme Court nominee and alleged serial sexual assaulter Brett Kavanaugh offered a new defense to the accusations piling up around him: he can’t possibly be the monster he now appears to be because, he says, “I did not have sexual intercourse or anything close to sexual intercourse in high school or for many years thereafter.”

Never mind that neither of he two women who have come forward publicly to accuse Kavanaugh of sexual misconduct have accused him of rape; one has alleged attempted rape, the other has accused him of shoving his penis in her face. Never mind that he could just be flat-out lying about the virginity thing;; given his history as a liar, I’m assuming he is.

But now that Kavanaugh has decided to play the Virgin Card he seems to be picking up fans amongst the virgin-est virgins who have ever virgined on planet Earth — the self-described “involuntary celibates” who populate the Incels.me forum.

Last night, one regular Incels.me commenter broke the news to his fellow incels in a topic with the melodramatic title “Kavenaugh admits to a crime worse than rape, it’s over for him.” The crime in question? Being a virgin.

“He doesn’t realize that the only thing women and normies hate more than rapists, it’s incels,” the OP wrote. “He’s done.”

Whatever Kavanaugh’s eventual fate turns out to be, the Fox interview seems to have won him some enthusiastic new fan.

“Kavanaugh has gone from having 100% of my support to 110%,” declared someone called Ledgemund.

Damn though, it would have been a lot better for him to never have brought up anything related to “sexual frustration” or virginity. Watch the swarm of harpies and cucks tear at this guy like a pack of buzzards now.

For what it’s worth, Kavanaugh didn’t actually mention being sexually frustrated; he may be a monster but he’s not that much of an idiot.

Incel4life was similarly impressed with Kavanaugh’s “admission.”

Wow, he admitted to being a virgin for “many years after” he graduated college. I was on the fence about Brett Kavanaugh but now he has my full support.

Acnescarcel gave Trump extra credit for his amazing pick.

so happy trump is president to trigger these f**gots. i hope this guy makes it through all this and pisses off these normie leftists even more.

Other Incels.me commenters lashed out at those pointing out, on Twitter and elsewhere, that frustrated male virgins can in fact be dangers to women. Unfortunately, most of the Incels.me commenters taking this tack didn’t exactly do much to counteract the widespread perception that those who label themselves “involuntarily celibate” are often boiling pots of rage.

“When will the attacks fucking end,” one prolific commenter called Frottbott complained.

I’ve never done anything wrong in my entire life. Juvenile? Chad shits in her mouth. They deserve death. I’m being a good person for proclaiming it.

Responding to Frottbott, someone calling himself mikepence (presumably not the actual vice president) lamented that

We are despised for literally NO REASON despite having shitty genetics. They act like it’s about our “misogyny,” but that’s just a reaction to the hatred women feel towards us.

I can’t fucking take it anymore, man. Chads and normies beat, rape, and murder their girlfriends all the time, and we’re the ones who get blamed. 

He ended his little rant with a melodramatic paean to suicide.

This shit is just too much. Hand me the rope, a gun, anything. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.

Someone called Crustaciouse offered a similarly unconvincing defense of incel goodness.

Jfl at these retards that think incels are a threat.
If I could go around raping bitches then I wouldn’t even be here.

Fukmylyf took it all up a notch with some exceptionally violent threats aimed at those who criticize incels:

This is such fucking ragefuel. Forget random mass shootings. I want to see these cunts put on liveleak or deathaddict. It’s time we started targeting the people who specifically attack us.

This is less and argument than a massive self-own: How dare these people call us dangerous! Let’s show them just how wrong they are by killing them — and livestreaming the murders!

A somewhat calmer commenter called Leucosticte — describing himself as a Quasi-neoreactionary libertarian — attempted to assess what he saw as Kavanaugh’s strategies — both political and sexual.

I think his strategy now is to say, “I was a good beta male; I waited my turn all those years while alphas were having sex all around me, so I should get credit for that!” But they won’t give him credit for it. They’re going to treat him like a sexual aggressor rather than patting him on the head and saying, “Good boy,” as he was expecting. It’s probably going to severely mindfuck him for awhile by destroying his bluepilled conception of how the world works.

Poor fella.

He probably believed that he was being smarter and more virtuous than other guys by waiting till he was 39, and then getting with a 29-year-old chick who had fucked enough badboys to be able to contrast them with him and appreciate his willingness to commit to her. He thought, “See, all through college I ignored those stupid young girls, who didn’t see the value I offered; and now I get the reward of marrying this older chick who’s wise and mature enough to love me for who I am.”

TIL that a guy who marries a woman in her late twenties, ten years his junior, is a guy “marrying [an] older chick.”

But it turns out that those chicks who didn’t want to open their legs to him back in high school and college STILL are trying to fuck him over by making false accusations.

Wait, what? Dude, do you really think that Christine Ford is coming forward now because she’s spent 40 years nursing a grudge at Kavanaugh … because he was a virgin in high school and she just hates virgins SO DARN MUCH?

That doesn’t make the slightest bit of sense to me, but to another Incels.me commenter called mangoboy, Leucosticte’s arguent is airtight.

Yup, it NEVER ends. The fairytale bullshit about women having a change of heart and falling in love with “the good guys” and “nerds” is such rage inducing crap. Those women never stop lusting over handsome bad boys or studs ever, and they continue to be disgusted your kind. Given a moment’s notice they will cheat on your behind your back. They have no respect for you.

This is your regular reminder that even when incels aren’t spewing death threats and frothing rage, they’ve still got completely fucked up ideas about women, men, and sex.

Congratulations, Brett Kavanaugh, these are exactly the sort of fans you deserve.