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By David Futrelle
If you’re still suffering whiplash from today’s news cycle — Rod Rosenstein has resigned! Oh wait no he hasn’t! — just think how much worse it must be for QAnon supporters, who take the already confusing real news out there and add five or six more layers of utter bullshit on top of that.
Given the rush of news in the last few days, I thought I’d take a little look at the QAnon hashtag on Twitter to see how the mega-MAGAs are taking not only the news on Rosenstein but also the ongoing Brett Kavanaugh shitshow.
The general consensus? Pretty much every new decelopment on both fronts, no matter how disastrous it might look for Trump and the GOP on the surface, is actually evidence that Trump is winning his game of 4-D political chess.
The Q Believers started their day today with some enthusiastic, if slightly premature, celebrations of Rod Rosenstein’s resignation-that-wasn’t.
— 🌻❤Sunflower54MAGA♥️🌻 (@sctallgirl2000) September 24, 2018
Dems: We have more Kavanaugh accusers!
Trump: Fine, I’ll raise you a Rosenstein resignation
— EconPoliticist (@EconPoliticist) September 24, 2018
Rod Rosenstein is gone. Pieces are falling into place.
The Dems are only grasping at false rumors from 30+ years ago.
Kavanaugh will be confirmed next.
— MEGAGAME® (@MegaGame1) September 24, 2018
You are watching a movie based on Animal Farm. "You hear that Mr. Rosenstein?… That is the sound of inevitability… It is the sound of your termination… Goodbye, Mr. Rosenstein." #QAnon #RacetotheEnd @realDonaldTrump #MAGA #WWG1WGA #Matrix #POTUS #kavanaugh pic.twitter.com/Sz3MTJ0biS
— T-SLiCK (@T_SLiCK_1969) September 24, 2018
Apparently in the 4-D world of the QAnons, Animal Farm and The Matrix are the same thing.
Also, I’m not sure they’ve watched The Matrix all the way to the end because (SPOILER ALERT) Neo/Mr. Anderson defeats Agent Smith and flies into the sky like goddamn Superman.
This dude is evidently convinced that the bogus reports of Rosenstein’s resignation were all part of some brilliant disinformation strategy on QAnon’s part.
This guy has a similar, er, analysis:
This dude thinks the Rosenstein whiplash today was some sort of plot by ‘blue checkmarked” Twitter users — and by this I assume he means that subset of verified Twitter users who work in the media — to give Trump-haters a little thrill before the inevitable confirmation of Kavanaugh.
Those Q Believers who weren’t celebrating something that didn’t happen were instead celebrating something that may never happen — the confirmation of Brett Kavanaugh. And they’re taking all the accusations against him in stride.
I believe we have reached the #NashEquilibrium folks.
All players strategies are known & no one can improve their position by changing strategies, including the #Kavanaugh charade.#WeHaveItAll#SunTzu #QAnon @POTUS @realDonaldTrump https://t.co/vSObqCS2kY
— ApacheTears (@TearsApache) September 24, 2018
— Loki Sullivan (@LokiSullivan) September 24, 2018
This guy is less interested in dropping hammers than in dropping dominoes (which, incidentally, is not how the game of dominoes is played).
— BESTRDSP ⭐45⭐ 🏆BEST TWEETS Quixote starts with Q (@BestRDSP) September 24, 2018
This guy somehow manages to work dominoes, Chicken Little, and Kabuki Theater into a gloriously muddled QAnon trifecta.
@POTUS "Sky is Falling" Kabuki theater! DOMINO'S in play.
Patriots stay calm we are WINNING!#QAnon #QDrops #PatriotsUnited #PresidentTrump #MAGA #ConfirmKavanaugh #Kavanaugh #MondayMotivation pic.twitter.com/46WSv01qq8
— THE COMMANDER'S ARTIST — 🌟🌟🌟🎨 (@TheRealMaddog58) September 24, 2018
Naturally, the Q Believers have some conspiracy theories about Kavanaugh accuser Christine Ford.
1. Kavanaugh accuser Christine Blasey exposed for ties to Big Pharma abortion pill maker… effort to derail Kavanaugh is plot to protect abortion industry profits@prayingmedic @realDonaldTrump @Education4Libs @charliekirk11@DonaldJTrumpJr #qanon #QArmy #TheStorm pic.twitter.com/W0b67Tw23w
— Pristine Mind 💎 (@Pristinesara) September 24, 2018
This is classic. #Kavanaugh accuser claims she called her friend on her cell phone immediately after alleged attack in 1982. First handheld cell phones not available until 1984. Hmmm. #GreatAwakening #WWG1WGA @potus #QAnon pic.twitter.com/Q9c1jW5W3H
— The Storm is Upon Us (@JWhite041020) September 24, 2018
I hasten to add that this last one is utter bullshit. Ford hasn’t claimed to have called anyone immediately after the alleged assault, on a cell phone or a banana phone or on any other kind of phone. Indeed, the Washington Post (which has provided the most detailed account of her accusations) says that Ford told their reporters that “she told no one of the incident in any detail until 2012, when she was in couples therapy with her husband.”
Apparently even Fox News is part of the Deep State conspiracy, for daring to post the results of a poll that shows support for Kavanaugh slipping — instead of promoting a completely unscientific poll posted in the #QAnon hashtag on Twitter that shows OVERWHELMING SUPPORT for the accused serial sexual assaulter. At least among the sort of people who respond to polls in the #QAnon hashtag on Twitter.
Q Believers, are you ok? You don’t sound ok,