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By David Futrelle
We’re going off-topic for a dose of CAT-spiration this Caturday.
Cats are pretty badass. And maybe just a teensy bit overconfident? Or possibly just stupid?
This cat chasing a bear up a tree is the most Russian video I have seen since a bear chased some dudes up a tree and made off in their car https://t.co/7dNO7yHCOF
— max seddon (@maxseddon) September 21, 2018
As I pointed out on Twitter, walking away nonchalantly — like, hey, nbd! — after chasing a bear up a tree TWICE is pretty hardcore, even for a cat.
But this isn’t just a Russian thing. Nope! Cats have a long and proud history of scaring the shit out of bears all over the world.
And let’s not forget this legendary cat from New Jersey.
Of course, sometimes cats and bears become BEST FRIENDS FOREVER!
I don’t think that ever likely to happen with these two, though.
In conclusion, cats have something even more powerful than Big Dick Energy, which is Tiny Pussy Energy.
“Related: Some cat-hating Red Pillers are just jealous because they think cats are more alpha than they are.”
Um…the above videos, I think, explain everything, including why women in general, and this woman in particular, would greatly prefer cats over dumbfuck dudes like Red Pillocks. Any critter that can chase a bear up a tree despite being much smaller and cuter is a badass mofo. And better company than any Pillock.
Hopefully not everything!
https://twitter.com/MichaelAvenatti/status/1043653635282952192
I was going to share the cat slapping the gator, but you’ve already got that one, so here’s an even more awesome cat.
@Bina
And clearly more use than any Pillock, as I imagine most of these Manly Men would run away screaming if faced with a bear.
If I ever go to bear country I am taking some kittys for protection.
Cats often represent the feminine,
bears represent Russia,
there for femme people scare Russia.
I bet none of those cats ever bother to secure their food (nor go camping) in ways generally agreed to be bear-proof by humans who frequent areas known to be inhabited by bears. Or places with swimming pools, apparently bears like to go swimming in human backyards for…reasons. Most especially in human backyards located in the foothills (like Monrovia, CA).
Cats don’t need no silly constitutional right to bear arms, they just chase a bear up the tree and wait for the bear to surrender them. Evidence that size has no bearing on capacity for badassery (hah, see what I did there).
Hmmm… I don’t know about femme people scaring Russia. Seems to me that that country is quite in touch with its femininity.
That and I am convinced, after having lived there for the last six months, that inside of every Russian is a crazy cat lady…
Also:
https://www.gfk.com/insights/press-release/pet-owners-dominate-in-latin-america-russia-and-usa/
If anyone was curious, National Cat Day is celebrated in Russia on March 1st (the International One on August 8th)!
At the very least, Putin is pretty scared of Pussy Riot.
Inside the littlest, most timid cat, a lion roars. Years ago, one of my cats cornered my sister’s pitbull under a table. The dog just whimpered.
A few years later, I agreed to take care of a relative’s Yorkie for two weeks. My cats cornered the poor little dog at the end of a hallway. They never laid a paw on the Yorkie, though. The cats seemed disgusted by it.
I’m gonna sound like a dog-hater with these comments. I’m not a dog-hater. I quite liked my sister’s pitbull. I could have done without the Yorkie. Too yappy and high-strung.
I almost forgot to mention my back cat Midnight, who liked to stalk deer.
The other side of the coin was Roscoe, who allowed a raccoon to back him up off of my deck, through an open glass door, and into my kitchen. All Roscoe did was hiss during the whole procedure.
Roscoe was a strange cat who simply didn’t hunt. He ate dry cat food exclusively, and you’d better keep it comin’.
Cats are SO AMAZING.
I have a strong maternal instinct but am too trauma-skewed most of the time to be comfortable caring for kids. But I love being a cat mom. And they give SO MUCH. Haters are utterly wrong, they have a lot of empathy – they’re just also good at setting boundaries. If you you love them and respect those boundaries, they will curl up with you when you sleep, sit on your lap and purr when you’re sick, meow at you and get you moving when you’re depressed. They’re wonderful little creatures, and better therapists than some professionals I’ve met. I love them to bits. ?
@Cyborgette:
You’re right. Cats give much more to humans, than they get in return.
I was just thinking about flea medication. I’d always used Frontline flea drops on my cats, and it worked fine. Now, it simply doesn’t seem to work anymore. My vet recommended Vectra. Vectra is about twice as expensive, but if it works, then I’m happy to pay it. I’m just wondering why, with my latest two cats, Frontline no longer does the trick.
I’m posting in a desperate attempt at procrastination in avoidance of housework.?
@Cyborgette:
They’re also dang good judges of character.
Cat owner here, native Tennessean and I have also lived in Montana and Alaska. In Tennessee, we have the black bears which are featured in a lot of those videos. In Montana and Alaska are the much bigger and more powerful brown bears (Grizzlies).
In the case of a lot of those videos, the black bears were adolescents and skittish already enough to run away from the slightest disturbance. Even adults can be ran off if you shout at them and make a lot of noise and wave your arms like a maniac.
However, in the case of both black and brown bears, there is a tactic of them running away only to turn and attack when they think they have the advantage. A cat is no match for a hungry bear and a quick turn and swipe and Felix is no more than a snack.
I just wanted to put this out there for the sake of not being too comfortable with your pets outdoors where bears of any species are lurking.
My cat is a a super-star… She taught herself to make sure I take my meds. If I don’t she will knock the bottles around until I’m good and take them.
@Brian Ragle:
Hello. I no longer allow my cats to go outside. Mostly, because of the worst predators of all – humans.
It’s time again to tell the tail, er, tale of The Time I Stopped Watching Local News Forever. (Except for Emergency Coverage.)
I know, the title needs work. Something about it seems to lack the requisite pithiness.
I was young, probably in high school still, and I was watching Star Trek, and the blurb for the evening news came on. Among the other things advertised were Life-Threatening Tornadoes and an Alligator Attacking a Family Cat!
Now, as it happens, I had done some research into alligator attacks over the years. (I live in Florida, and knowing some things about how and when alligators become motivated to eat you is just a basic safety precaution. If you live in the vicinity of fifteen foot long, thousand pound predators, please take some time to learn how not to be food.) And among other things I learned that while alligators eating family dogs was a fairly common event around here, attacks on cats were rather rare, primarily because dogs regularly feel the urge to defend their territory from other predators, thus annoying the alligator until the dog is converted into gator-chow. Cats, the above videos notwithstanding, are generally smart enough NOT to antagonize animals large enough to eat them.
So, I was curious, and decided to watch the local news.
It was a cavalcade of stupid. Deep stupid.
They covered life-threatening tornadoes… that were, in fact, nowhere near any people and threatening no lives. But they had amateur footage of the tornadoes dancing harmlessly in the middle of a lake, and “Life-threatening” is apparently a better label than “awe-inspiring spectacle of nature” and who cares about accuracy?
They also showed this amazingly pointless segment on this kid who was struck by lightning. The lead in line was, “Child waiting at a bus stop was struck by lightning, and you won’t believe what saved him!” It was accurate in that I didn’t believe.
The newscaster began explaining how the child survived because he was wearing tennis shoes, with rubber bottoms, so clearly he was saved by the lack of conduction!
Um… no. Regular tennis shoes will NOT save you from a direct lightning strike.
He switched the coverage to the local weather girl, who was looking kind of poleaxed and said, politely, “I don’t think you’re right about that…” before transferring the camera to an expert from the local science museum. (Why we needed to stop by the weather girl before transferring to the scientist, I don’t know.) The scientist was less polite. “Those shoes did NOT save him.” Then she went on to explain the actual physics of surviving a lightning strike.
And I just kept wondering, don’t these guys have teleprompters? Was that guy just adlibbing scientific facts he was completely ignorant of? Was he reading a script that someone approved? None of this made me in the least big confidant in the local news.
But, at last, we got to the story I wanted. Alligator attacks cat! Spoiler: No alligator attacked a cat at any point in the story.
What we got was video camera footage that some guy was taking of an alligator sunning himself on the guy’s front porch. Somewhere nearby the man’s wife (I presume) is screaming that he should put the camera down and call animal control.
As the footage proceeds, the family cat walks out onto the porch and sees the alligator sitting in a sunbeam. The humans start screaming. “OH NO! RUN AWAY, FLUFFY! RUN AWAY!”
The cat examines the alligator, sniffs it, then lays down next to it in the sunbeam. Both animals enjoy the morning sun while the humans inside the house lose their minds.
Animal Control is eventually called and the alligator is shewed off.
This ends with an On the Spot Action Reporter holding the cat and declaring, “I guess you used up one of your nine lives today!” The cat bit him and squirmed out of his arms.
Honestly, the only organisms who came out looking good in this report were the cat and the gator, both of whom seemed remarkably sensible while everyone else was a twit.
Yay for kitties!
In other news, there’s rumors floating around that Ronan Farrow is about to drop a story on Brett Kavanaugh and the right is already having a preemptive meltdown about it.
I mean, just look at Erick “I’m going to shoot census workers who show up at my door” Erickson’s whole twitter feed.
https://twitter.com/EWErickson
It’s going to be another weird week I guess.
And Michael Avenatti is making noise too.
https://twitter.com/MichaelAvenatti/status/1044006928416825344
@Michael
Wow. Maybe because meteorology is also a science, and the meteorologist (not “weather girl”) would know a lot about meteorological events, such as lightning?
And…
https://www.newyorker.com/news/news-desk/senate-democrats-investigate-a-new-allegation-of-sexual-misconduct-from-the-supreme-court-nominee-brett-kavanaughs-college-years-deborah-ramirez
To be clear, I’m not celebrating that Kavanaugh has abused others. But I am glad that if he did, it’s coming out now, not after he’s already on the court.
@weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee
Same. Better to boo and boot him out now before it is literally impossible for him to get fired.
I will apologize for saying weather girl instead of meteorologist. I should do better. (I did edit out all of my calling people “idiots” in my efforts to make my language more inclusive!)
But my point was that the main newsreader transferred the camera to her solely so that she could announce they were transferring the camera to an expert at the local science-center, which was obviously something already set up, so she really contributed nothing. Whatever expertise she might have had was not brought to bear on the situation.
And Michael Avenatti has already said that Deborah Ramirez is not his client, so there’s more coming.