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By David Futrelle
With another month-long-week coming to a close, I thought I would take a few moments to share with you some of the feedback I get from, well, let’s just say these guys aren’t exactly fans.
These are the sorts of comments — some from new would-be commenters, others from long-banned trolls — that I generally don’t let through moderation. But sometimes they are too terrible not to share.
Let’s stat with this dude, who has somehow come to the conclusion that this site is some sort of soyboy shrine to … Noam Chomsky?
I think this is the first time I’ve seen someone try to insult someone else’s intelligence by accusing them of having slightly above-average IQ scores.
Here’s one from a dude whose turns-ons include women crying.
This next guy was evidently convinced that I would be SO devastated by his SICK BURN that he came back several weeks later to post a new iteration of it.
Setting aside this guy’s weird fixation on my alleged sweatiness, this is an “argument” that’s been floating around the manosphere for years, especially popular with PUAs and incels who want to be able to explain away the fact that women often prefer “beta” males over the alpha Chad types that manosphere dogma insists are the only dudes who know how to make the ladies, er, tingle.
Sure on the outside it might seem like a lot of women vastly prefer “betas”over assholes, this argument goes, but really these women are just hiding their secret disgust for them. It’s yet another way for misogynists to wave away all the evidence in plain view that proves their theories about female sexuality are bullshit.
This next guy is s long-banned shitposter who returns again and again to this blog to post comments, many of extraordinary length, that he knows are never going to see the light of day. Unless they are so ridiculously reprehensible that I decide to put them up in a post like this. CW: Rape fantasies, racism, and something that is either a typo or a misfired racist joke.
Lovely.
Here’s another comment from the same guy.
There’s a lot wrong here but let me just say a word about that last bit of bullshit. We don’t actually get “men last in the life bots.” Yes, more than a hundred years ago, women (and rich people generally) were first in line for the Titanic lifeboats. But even then “women and children first” was never a standard evacuation policy. Ever been on a plane? When the flight attendants explain the procedures for an “emergency landing” do they ever mention putting women first? Because how would that even work?
But I digress. There are more important issues to consider. Like semen. In particular, Mr. Man Splainer’s delicious, semen — which in addition to providing a tasty snack can apparently also be used to BUILD CIVILIZATION ITSELF.
I’m going to end this MALEBAG here, because, seriously, nothing in any of the other comments I’ve still got stored in the moderation queue is going to beat “women suck dick because dick built and maintained all upon the earth.”
It would at least make more coherent sense if he’d said “I personally have very delicious semen. I know this because I’ve tasted it and it has a distinctly gourmet quality”
Of course, he’d only have a valid basis for comparison if he’d tasted that of a sufficient sample of other men.
And even then it would be a self-serving statement … to coin a phrase.
“To serve man”
OT: Holy shit, photos from the surface of an asteroid!
http://www.hayabusa2.jaxa.jp/en/topics/20180922e/
Awesome work, JAXA!
@Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
TMI incoming!
As a bisexual man (don’t all good stories start with those exact words?) I can categorically state that semen does, in fact, usually taste rather bad. Although I do have to admit to basing this on a relatively small sample size (in both meanings of the expression). I’m fairly sure that all the men reading this site are aware of this, but it bears repeating that what you eat during, roughly, the preceding 24 hours effects the taste of semen profoundly. So steer aware from curries and chili, and stick to fruits and veggies. 😉
TMI over, it’s safe to return!
I entirely approve of the top image in this article. It reminds me a lot of the children’s books of my childhood. Also, as an owner and frequent wearer of a malebag, or more correctly, a shoulder bag, or even a male purse (:D), I got a chuckle from the headline.
I think Man Splainer needs see a urologist. C’mon, Man Splainer, do it. If you’re capable of building things with your dick…I suspect anatomical damage to it, sooner or later.
BTW, I’m speaking out of genuine concern. I
definitely don’t hate men; in fact, I’m married to one of them.
Erm, veggies (most of them) taste terrible, so wouldn’t the resulting spooge do so as well?
@Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation:
I wonder how asparagus makes spooge taste. It’s well-known for making people’s urine smell funny.
The popular belief is that eating pineapple makes it taste better. I don’t know if that has any basis in fact, though. Maybe Man Splainer could let us in on how much pineapple he’s been having.
Monzach – I recall you’re Finnish so on my own part I’ll just refer to the saying “hand to mouth subsistence” 🙂
Funny? My urine only smells like asparagus after eating asparagus.
“Funny” is how I’d describe the regular taste of my semen, while the mouthfeel is more “icky”. Haven’t tried it with asparagus, though.
“…this is an ‘argument’ that’s been floating around the manosphere for years, especially popular with PUAs and incels who want to be able to explain away the fact that women often prefer ‘beta’ males over the alpha Chad types that manosphere dogma insists are the only dudes who know how to make the ladies, er, tingle.”
Have said before, will say again: these guys don’t care about men who are popular with women; what they’re interested in is men who are popular with other men. The don’t want to imitate men who turn women on; what they’re interested in following around and copying and parroting and applauding and envying and aiding and assisting are men who turn on other men, or who can give the appearance of doing so. They don’t want to be Chad or wait on him (insofar as that’s what they really do want) because women are into Chad, but because other men are into Chad (or so they think). That’s their actual source of motivation, though they’re not always clear about it themselves, and they have a nasty habit of blaming their listeners for their own confusion.
Lumipuna
Yup, I’m as Finnish as Karelian pies! 🙂 (That is to say, three of my four grandparents are from the Isthmus of Karelia so…) I also live from hand to mouth, but I make the best out of a bad situation. And that’s one of the reasons why I’m not pursuing any romantic situations right now. 😉
Busty Heart can destroy civilisation with her boobies!
https://youtu.be/58oum1UmMA8
Oh hai people I’m new
So I hope this mini rant is cool
There’s always this obsession with sweaty fat men and fat women in every manosphere post.
I mean even in posts that have nothing to do with it.
Its weird how much they shoehorn their strange obsession with weight in everything its mind boggling…
Ughhh .
@FelineFinethePunLioness
Hi new person. Welcome to the site.
Is there some kind of context to the ManSplainers’s post? As weird as the content is, the questions that haunts me is “why did he decide to tell us about this?”
Does he… does he think we don’t know about blowjobs? Does he think the readers of feminist websites somehow haven’t heard of them? I’m not going to take a poll, but I’m pretty sure our readership includes a fair number of both the “bishes” out there giving blowjobs and the manly men receiving them.
And why are blowjobs the future? Surely we can agree that blowjobs are in fact the present. In fact, I’d say we probably hit Peak Blowjob a few years back and will soon enter the decline.
Finally, even assuming that we hadn’t heard, how is it meant to be relevant to the content of this blog? Is the existence of blowjobs a crucial premise to some kind of devastating counter-argument against critique of the alt-right? Inquiring minds want to know.
Cis het woman here. I’m very confused as to why these men seem to think getting oral sex is a power trip for them.
(warning; serious TMI about my sexual tastes).
I really, really like giving head because it’s such a power trip for me. I mean, your dick is between my teeth and you think you’re in charge? Bitch, please.
And I’m good at judging how much stimulation will take you to the edge of orgasm…without tipping you over. You’ll hang there, writhing and moaning, until I decide I’ve had enough of making you beg. Then I’ll allow you an orgasm which will leave you a shattered mess, physically unable to move or even speak for several minutes. I am now in your head for the rest of your life, because you are not going to forget this experience. I might.
I may well not have bothered to take any of my clothes off.
If I sucked your dick, Incels, one of us would be a slithering mess and one of us would be calmly in control of their body and emotions. Cute that you think the calm one would be you.
women s–k d–k because d–k built and maintained all upon the earth.
Behold–one of numerous documented beaver constructions:
http://d1o50x50snmhul.cloudfront.net/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/24180000/gettyimages-566188109-800×533.jpg
@Tosca, Chaos made Flesh, Servant of the Purring Jew
At a guess, they think like Romans, so the only thing that’s important is that their penis went into you. Haha, you were penetrated! The guy wins! Plus, probably, an assumption that you’d be kneeling. Haha, power trip!
Should they express any of this during the act, I trust that the next sound will be a loud crunch, followed by screaming.
Given the amount this genius seems to know about women, I can only assume that he thinks that women have tastebuds on their breasts, the same way that butterflies have tastebuds on their feet.
@Full Metal Ox
That was elegantly perfect. Bravo.
—————
Re: Building things with a dick
The (probably very young) idiot may have taken a metaphor a little too literally. I mean, I’ve run across the expression “Hard enough to fuck a hole in a tree,” but I am pretty sure that most woodpeckers are birds.
“Building things with a dick…”
So they’ve gotten to experience working with the average general contractor who falls into the proportion of that category who thinks nothing of taking the building materials (whether it’s bathroom fixtures, electrical systems, or the stuff like siding or shingles that are designed to keep the outside on the outside of your house/building), turns off the water at the main connecting your house to the municipal water system, and disappears…all because they didn’t like the complaint about their inability to show up when they say they will, have repeatedly added to the cost that is already over the project contract amount and nothing has been change-ordered or altered in the scope of work from said contract, or how they frequently disappear on the days they do show up only to return with a pronounced sniffle/loss of coordination.
Anyone who has had such an experience during their home reno/remod project or in the employ of such a GC/person would agree, that’s what it’s like to be stuck building things with a dick.
Humans can taste garlic through their feet.
So maybe if this guy was a foot fetishist with a diet garlicky enough to take down Dracula then a woman might possibly be able to taste his sperm without it ever getting in her mouth. But that would be (a) an implausibly specific scenario and (b) almost certainly not delicious
Man Splainer and his sock have a Yandex account. Interesting, because Yandex hosts one of the most notorious Russian troll farm servers. Now I wonder if “men created everything” is some sort of Russian troll talking point designed to radicalize men, disenfranchise women, undermine gender relations, discourage marriage, and ultimately lower the birth rate in the West.
I mean, if I were designing a psyops campaign to weaken an enemy, that might be one of its prongs.
As a talking point, it is a little ironic though. “WE BUILT CIVILIZATION!” …screamed the man hell-bent on tearing down all the progress of the past two hundred years.
Screamed the man longing for the apocalypse to come and sweep it all away.
I once hit myself with mine the eye; I didn’t like it.
Nah, not really. They’re basically the same as a little kid who wasn’t winning 100% of the time at the game, so they are TAKING THEIR BALL AND GOING HOME!