By David Futrelle
Some excellent dating tips for incels from comedian Rachel Parris. I’m sure the incels are mad about it already.
Listen up, Incels! Here’s @RachelParris with a brief guide on how to actually treat women… pic.twitter.com/z4JfNDIwD1
— BBC Two (@BBCTwo) September 17, 2018
To be fair, though, many of these guys are so far gone in their hatred that they should not be dating actual human beings at all and probably can’t be trusted to own pets or even plants.
But there are bitter young dudes just flirting with incel and who are, I suspect, redeemable. If that’s you, LISTEN UP because Parris is dispensing some ACTUAL GOOD ADVICE HERE.
I was brought up with an attitude of ‘treat people as people’ and ‘play nice’. (My mother was a kindergarten teacher, which was probably a non-trivial influence on that.) And while I do have a temper, it tends to disperse fairly quickly, in part because I really don’t like the sort of person I can become when I’m mad.
The idea of actively marinating yourself in curdled hatred like the incels is just so foreign to me. I like having friends, and the whole incel attitude seems rather counter-productive to that end.
I choose to reject feminisms rigid gynocentric roles of male as sexual conqueror and woman as object of sexual conquest and I encourage other men to do the same and break free of the ‘pick up artist’ mindset feminists want to box them into with their gynocentrism and toxic femininity
Reject the feminists entitled demands to woo them and their insistence that ‘success’ for men is having sex with women
Reject feminists rigid gynocentroc gender roles and embrace freedom and equality of gender … you aren’t obligated to try to woo feminists like they command … they may Feel like they are entitled but you don’t owe it to them to be a simp or pick up artist although they may shame and abuse you for it, it only shows how coercive matriarchy and it’s rigid gender roles are
Going to take a guess you’re called Slick because you never get any traction.
Stupid is not a virtue.
I bet I’m smarter than you
Oh god yes please.
Please, prove how much smarter you are. Show us that burgeoning intellect. You know you’re smarter than us. Please, put us all in our places.
Putting slick on moderation because I’m 99.9% sure he’s a returning troll.
Not banning him outright yet — and I’ll let though comments from him that aren’t too obnoxious — because it seems likely that he might provide some more unintentional comedy.
I only do the iq challenge for money… if you don’t want to challenge me for money then no point in an intellectual dick measure contest .
Slick Mick, you seem to be talking yourself around in circles…you say this woman had a “dry spell” and wasn’t asking men out…but if you guys likewise have a “dry spell” you start thinking about murder and rape or suicude. Nobody is having 24/7 hot and cold running sex, it’s not your birthright and nobody owes it to you. Some people, believe it or not, do not even want it. There is more yo life that doing the horizontal tango.
Feminists do nothing of the sort, because rigid gender roles which promote “toxic masculine” are bad for everybody, men and women included, as well as non binary or queer folk. I don’t think you actually understand feminism, it isn’t what you MIGTOES think it is, and it’s certainly nowt to do with “cultural marxism”, which is a hoax.
Hey, just because I sometimes ask women out doesn’t mean I’m at their cervix.
@Lumipuna:
*groan*
(And now, thanks to that and the way my brain works, I have a song going through my head: ‘In Too Deep’ by Sum 41. Specifically an AMV someone did years ago using video from the ‘Read Or Die’ OAV, and actively playing on the relationship between the two female co-stars, one of whom had the code name ‘Miss Deep’.)
You know, you could achieve the same by just taking to the mirror. That is, effectively, what you’re doing right now.
Anytime you want to join a real, human conversation, we’re right here.
@thick Mick
I challenge you to show feminists expressing
.
Show these entitled demands that feminists demand to be wooed and that success for men is sex with women, and show how this is a defining feature of feminism. My experience has been the diametric opposite.
So far you’re just a dog pissing on fences, all feeling and no objects tied to those feelings. Plenty of disparaging assertions about feminists but no actual examples. As a man men like you have been utterly useless to me. At least the feminists had object examples to tie to their feelings about things.
Much more interesting than anything Slick Seagull’s got to say: https://www.thestar.com/news/gta/2018/09/19/raccoons-bust-into-toronto-womans-home-stare-her-down-while-defiantly-eating-her-bread.html
Yes, this is another one for Alan. The trash panda mafia is getting bolder by the day.
We had a minor drama at my house the other night because Dracarys (cat) saw a raccoon outside. Her tail got huge and she started freaking out, running back and forth between windows and generally causing commotion. This upset Bailey (dog) who started pacing around and finally cowered in my bedroom. Raccoons are such troublemakers.
WWTH, what you think society thinks is a good catch is almost as silly as the incels’ Chad nonsense. To be considered a GOOD catch by most people, a man needs a good job and good social skills, and to be better than average in at least three of height, features, musculature, and dick. Better than average doesn’t mean Chad levels, just …better than average.
The standards for a good woman-catch diverge a bit depending on the subculture. Liberal culture expects some kind of job and education, whereas conservatives instead require low to moderate partner counts. Only religious fanatics and internet ghouls demand virgins. Physically, the standard is thin OR curvy (but not obese), with better than average features. Men don’t usually care much about makeup or clothes, but I acknowledge that broader society still manages to bring that pressure.
Whether someone is DECENT is a separate question that you conflated.
I don’t know what media (in particular dating advice) you’ve been watching or reading where you haven’t noticed the absolutely ridiculous standards women are held to. I’d like to know though, because it’d have been nice to avoid hearing about how I’m a failure as a women if I haven’t managed to maintain some impossible perfection. But I’m not exactly the first woman to notice that we’re expected to meet arbitrary and ever shifting standards to be considered acceptable, so I’m not sure if you really want to go down this road.
I mean, comparing me to an incel for pointing out the contradictory standards women are expected to live up to in the same week in which we have Christine Blasey Ford being slammed by man after man after man and some women too for both reporting Brett Kavanaugh’s crime and for not reporting it at the same time.
Really?
I wasn’t comparing you to an incel, just comparing an argument you made to an argument incels typically make. Incels have a whole suite of fetid beliefs and aberrant emotions I have no reason to believe you share with them. I don’t think you want an entire gender to be raped and/or killed, for instance.
There is a lot of variety in the ways different media genres portray and have portrayed men and women and romance. I can get really in depth with my thoughts on that if you want me to. It won’t be tonight, though. It’s late.
Rachel Paris is simply cofee spitting, trouser browning, heart attack inducing funny. I loved her on The Mash Report and I cannot wait for the next season to begin.
@ rabid rabbit
Thank you!
I loved everything in that story, but this especially made me smile:
I’ve just got this image stuck in my head of the Aliens movie, but with raccoons.
Skinny blonde comediennes give bad advice about dating. Telling incels to be “nice” reinforces the message that women are vending machines where you put kindness in to get sex out. Incels are angry because this doesn’t work unless a man is already attractive.
Incels need to become attractive and stop chasing disinterested women. Successfully sleazy men accept womens’ agency, and don’t try to bribe them into sex. The drawback to this enlightened attitude is these players don’t presume women are virtuous, nor court them without receiving benefits in return. Women must earn their regard and respect.
I once heard an analogy that went along the lines of “Trying to get into a relationship by being nice is like trying to sell a car by saying ‘it has an engine!’. Yes, having an engine is an important part of a functioning car, but it’s a minimum expected baseline, not a selling point .”
Telling incels they need to “become attractive” reinforces the idea that women are shallow bitches who only care about what a man looks like. And it will only make the incels angrier and more hateful since they’ve already convinced themselves that since they have narrow wrists they are hideously deformed beasts that no woman could ever be attracted to.
Sure, arguably being “attractive” can mean all kinds of things. Being funny or kind or confident or intelligent or adventurous or well-organized can all be traits that are incredibly attractive to certain people. But the vast majority of the time “attractive” carries the connotation of meaning “conventionally physically attractive”, and that’s exactly what the incels hear.
Aside from that, an incel could magically transform into a physical Adonis who is funny and intelligent and confident and adventurous, but if he’s still seething with virulent misogyny and thinks that all women are stupid whores who deserve to be beaten/raped/murdered, then a huge number of women are going to recognize all those red flags and rightfully get the fuck away from this dangerous asshole.
I’m curious as to Slick’s definition of “wooing,” because I get this feeling it involves pick-up lines and unwarranted touching. The very kind of “wooing” that turns a lot if feminist women off, really.
Just a thought.
It’s a beast,
To clarify, I’m not so much talking fictional media but the realm of dating advice. Most romantic storylines are still from a male perspective and buy into the misogynistic chicks love assholes and nice guys must win their hearts by finslly persuading them that they just never knew they wanted a nice guy narrative.
Although that being said, there still a lot of those same double standards. A male romantic protagonist can be average looking. He gets the girl because he’s the good guy and that’s just how it’s supposed to be. A female romantic lead is typically only allowed to be Hollywood average looking. That is, movie star or model looks with kind of frumpy outfits. Usually, she gets a makeover. Only then can the male lead see her beauty.
My go to examples for this are Amy Schumer and Jason Segal. Both are pretty attractive by regular world standards. Neither are Hollywood hot. We all know what a big deal is made in the media about Schumer’s weight. I never hear a peep about the belly pudge Segal has though. Nobody made a huge deal of him being the romantic lead in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. The movie in which he’s dumped by his beautiful TV star girlfriend for an also not conventionally hot Russell Brand and his consolation prize is frickin’ Mila Kunis (poor baby!). Contrast that with the Truth About Cats and Dogs or Sierra Burgess is a Loser where they have to trick men into falling in love with them Cyrano style and the notion of them attracting men is portrayed as ridiculous and impossible.
Anyway, on to dating advice. Most dating advice for men is centered around not how he can change himself to be more worthy or attractive, but on how he can persuade women to date him. When advice is given to men on how to become more attractive it’s usually incredibly basic hygiene and fashion tips and instructions on how not to extremely creepy. But really, most advice for men is watered down versions of the PUA and red pill stuff we discuss here.
Then there’s the dating advice for women. Both coming from male and female writers. It truly does end up looking like that list I described above. If a woman is single, it’s her fault. If a man is single, it’s her fault.
I mean, I may have been slightly hyperbolic, but it’s absolutely ridiculous to pretend like men and women aren’t held to vastly different standards.
And again, I’m not saying that men won’t date women who aren’t perfect. It’s just that popular culture would have us believe otherwise and there’s a subset of men who as a result feel entitled to an HB10 virgin no matter what he looks or acts like.
KL,
I didn’t see it as promising that niceness will result in a date. More that if you do want to a get a date, you have to at the very least get out and interact with people in a way that’s not completely repugnant. It’s just the most basic of dating advice.