By David Futrelle
Some excellent dating tips for incels from comedian Rachel Parris. I’m sure the incels are mad about it already.
Listen up, Incels! Here’s @RachelParris with a brief guide on how to actually treat women… pic.twitter.com/z4JfNDIwD1
— BBC Two (@BBCTwo) September 17, 2018
To be fair, though, many of these guys are so far gone in their hatred that they should not be dating actual human beings at all and probably can’t be trusted to own pets or even plants.
But there are bitter young dudes just flirting with incel and who are, I suspect, redeemable. If that’s you, LISTEN UP because Parris is dispensing some ACTUAL GOOD ADVICE HERE.
Ok, now I have to find a way to sneak this to my cousin that will seem like he discovered it on his own…
I…. I like her. That’s wonderful.
The fact that something like “if you want someone to like you, try being nice to them and finding common ground” has to be said, though…. Goodness. Even after some years knowing about stuff like this, my mind refuses to really wrap around it.
Nice web site. I don’t know how you put up with sifting through this crap. I spent 20 minutes meandering through Kent Imig’s Twitter feed from your post a couple of days ago because I couldn’t believe he was real and then I couldn’t look away. And then I felt dirty. What a train wreck.
How do guys end up like this? Are they brainwashed? I’m a normal dude, average looks, very shy and horribly awkward with women. So I guess I was an “incel” until I met my future wife. But I never considered any of the nonsense these guys are peddling. Just went out and socialized, was uncomfortable sometimes but whatever. I just had to suck it up and put myself out there.
And my wife is great! If it wasn’t for her pursuing me after our first date we wouldn’t be married. I thought she had a lousy time and never called her back because I’m a moron. These days this would be considered a PUA move. Lol, nope, not with me. I was just clueless.
Seems like most of these MRA dudes are just conceited and/or lazy. And it doesn’t help that they’re raging misogynists. And gullible, looking for excuses and easy answers. (It’s all HER fault!!!).
Pretty sure I’m a White Knight Soy Boy Cuck or something according to manoshere logic. Which is mostly single dudes making fun of my healthy 17 year relationship while they sleep alone and rage. And then tell guys like me and women that they know more about women and relationships than anyone else.
Anyway, I gotta get back to work.
Cool site! Keep up the good work!
I wouldn’t trust an incel with a pet rock, let alone a plant.
Sadly, incels will reject this, just as they reject any advice that doesn’t result in a woman agreeing to be their private sex toy for the rest of her life. They cannot change, because that would require an effort on their part.
“Leaving the house and having conversations with a variety of different people…” Oh my stars she’s funny XD
Please post if you figure out a way!
How long before she’s bombarded with death threats, I wonder.
You know, since incels and redpillers are the sane ones and all.
@Eli
I have a really overpowering urge to thank you for coming in here and going “What the hell is wrong with those dudes, I was unlucky in love before and nothing like this would have crossed my mind”. You give me hope. We’ve had way too many dudes come in here and go “oh man I definitely would have been a hateful misogynistic shitbucket if I had come across the incel community when I was young and awkward! Bullet dodged there, phew! There but for the grace of god, go I.”
I mean, I really shouldn’t feel the need to thank you for just being a decent person, but here we are. I appreciate it, regardless. Keep on shining. And welcome to the site!
This video is very objectifying and promotes heteronormativity and toxic masculinity….
MRAL, honey. You’re really losing your touch.
Post again when you’ve come up with some better trolling.
@Eli
Yes. They want a woman, but is not prepared to work for that to happen. They want to simply be given one, without having to do anything. They also believe women effortlessly get sex and love – unfair!
They think dating and loving is a marketplace, and they want to make a bargain.
OK, here comes Mrs Gatecrashers Musings on Love:
If I make a list of all the things I have done (as a rather shy, geeky tomboy of a woman) to initiate contact , court, seduce, care for, support, cooperate, console, have fun and generally live with and love Mr Gatecrasher (and the men before him), that list would be long. It will sound like I make a real lot of work. Because I am. Mr Gatecrasher is just a man. Sometimes he is really annoying. Does he deserve all I do for him? If he doesn’t, then who does?
Who can pay me sufficiently on the market of care, love and sex? Out there are lots of hot women who just have men throwing themselves at them (or so I have heard). I want an Adonis to show up at my doorstep without having to do anything too! I don’t want to pay expensively for what others get for cheap!
But that way of reasoning is kind of self-focused. If you focus on getting as much as possible for what you give, you will end up bitter and disappointed. Nobody can ever pay enough, because your gifts are invaluable. But in a real relationship, what you receive is invaluable too.
A meaningful relationship is reciprocal, an interaction rather than a competitive business. Of course, if one sees women as objects, one will have difficulties forming this type of relationship with them. If you love an object, the object can’t really love you back as an active action, because objects don’t do anything. And loving is doing. You will be lonely, even if you have a woman. You will think of all your sacrifices for her, while not seeing what she does for you.
wow that was terribly disappointing, with such a good topic that lends itself to comedy it’s impressive how it contained no humor at all
Only one thing I disagree with in the video. It’s 100% fair for straight women to “blame an entire gender” for not being able to get a healthy, happy, loving relationship.
@Yutolia:
Incel-ption?
Incels, forget about the pets or plants. You wouldn’t enjoy them at all.
For those of you not too far gone, I suggest remedial charm school.
Possible subjects:
Reasonable hygiene, with an emphasis on brushing teeth and wiping the butt after a bowel movement.
Learning to say please, thank you, I’m sorry, and I never thought of it that way before!
Choosing a wardrobe from the 21st century.
I would like to remind that plants are actual sensible being, and aren’t any less perceptive to the horror of an incel than any animal.
I think they should get a pet black hole. Information can’t come out, so at least the sacrifice of that poor black hole will be useful.
@dust bunny:
How do you mean? While I understand that patriarchy and toxic masculinity (ideologies and social structures built up and maintained to a large part by men) does lead to very many straight women being in unhealthy, unhappy, abusive relationships with men, is blaming men qua men (even gay and trans men?) a ‘100% fair’ response?
@Catalpa
I don’t trust “former misogynists” farther than I can throw them. They’ll always be tainted, in my eyes. Same goes for those who sympathise with incels.
@dust bunny
PREACH!
@Catalpa
Reflecting on my own internal struggles with self-image and the perceived failings of masculinity that came with virginity in youth, I don’t think I would have joined a self-reinforcing group of alternate hate mongers/pity merchants. But then I found my online community in a more constructive place anyway (furries). Thanks, DeviantART! 🙂
That said, I can appreciate how the practically Darwinian social cliques of high school can really skew people’s ideas of human relationships. Again, just going through my own experiences as being an awkward overweight kid with low self-esteem, it seemed like all the worst guys I knew were in relationships by my last years of high school and things certainly didn’t change in my first couple years of university. And these guys really were the worst: if they weren’t being needlessly belittling to me and my friends, they were bragging about their exploits loud enough for me to hear just passing by.
Now, the empathy programming in our brains is supposed to keep us grounded when it comes to the dynamics of human relationships, and you’re not supposed to take away some kind of Machiavellian conceit that the men that have relationships are the ones who are the most skilled at manipulating people. But confirmation bias is a powerful thing and if there’s somebody out there telling you that you’re right to be resentful at the world for denying you what all the people you hate seem to have already, I can see why these people gravitate to it the same way they gravitate to right-wing “anti-SJW” status quo defenders on YouTube. It’s a path of least resistance.
TL;DR: high school sucks.
@Cindy
Yeah, anyone who declares themselves to be “formerly” misogynistic probably has giant blind spots to their latent (and, in the case of women, internalized) misogyny. No one is completely untainted by misogyny (just as no one is entirely un-racist, or un-ableist, etc.), but most people are at least self-aware enough to realize this.
Thankfully, no one in this thread has tried to claim this title thus far.
Well, yeah. It’s an alluring mindset, so long as you don’t care about/enjoy hurting others. You can blame all your shortcomings and frustrations on others and never have to experience any kind of self reflection or improvement, and listen to the world tell you that those other people are lesser, inferior vermin that should be forced to serve your every whim or exterminated. When you personally suffer no consequences and are in fact advantaged by the opression of others, why wouldn’t you go that route? I mean, unless you have some kind of actually decency.
It’s just fucking jarring the way that dudes drop that kind of thing on us like it’s no big deal. Like hating women enough to celebrate us being raped and murdered is just some kind of baseline state that men are at, and few manage not to succumb to it unless they are appeased by women doing what they want. It’s like seeing someone come on a thread about hate crimes and go “oh yeah I definitely would have joined the KKK if I had the chance when I was younger, but now I totally don’t hate black people. I do understand where these guys are coming from, though.”
dust bunny you’re not entitled to a relationship… men owe you nothing
@Slick Mick
True, but it would certainly be nice if they could take some time to learn the meanings of “objectify”, “heteronormative” and “toxic masculinity”.
The thing is, incels don’t want a companion and they don’t want someone whom they can relate to- doing so would crush their fractured egos- or so their little virtual clubs tell them- the idea of being open or humane to any other human being scares the bejezuz out of them.
They want someone, or as they might put it, some thing, to hate. To look down upon. To destroy. they literally want to be the author of a toxic relationship, and, failing that, to turn themselves into monsters so their imaginary monsters can’t destroy them in turn.
So, I can’t imagine this advice would have the slightest constructive effect and, frankly, from the hidious things this WE HUNTED has made me unable to unsee, I find it hard to believe that anyone even casually agrees with inceldom can be rescued