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“The greatest value a woman has to offer a man is her sexuality, and eggs,” Twitter weirdo explains

The sexiest woman who ever existed, according to SCIENCE

By David Futrelle

Three guys are hanging out on a stoop when a young woman walks by.

“Check out the eggs on her!” declares one.

“Boy, I’d sure like to make an omlet out of THAT!” adds a second, making egg-scrambling sounds with his mouth.

There is a moment of silence.

“Um, I thought she had a cute butt,” says the third guy, somewhat hesitantly.

The other two turn to stare at him with a mixture of horror and disgust.

“What are you, some kind of pervert?” the first guy asks, indignant.

“Jesus christ, dude,” adds the second, shaking his head, “I”m not sure I can even hang out with you any more.”

AND SCENE.

Welcome, ladies, to the secret world of heterosexual men. You may have gotten the impression that men are obsessed with big boobs and thicc asses. Nope! They are all about the EGGS, baby! They are the EGG MEN, they are the egg men, I am the walrus, goo goo ga-joob. They want to FERTILIZE THE HELL OUT OF YOU.

At least according to one Red Pilled Man Genius whose thoughts on the matter have recently gotten the attention of feminists on Twitter.

I present to you the BAD ANATOMY TWEET OF THE WEEK (although, technically, it’s from June).

Kent Imig ‏ @kent_imig Follow Follow @kent_imig More Brutal truth: the greatest value a woman has to offer a man is her sexuality, and eggs. Women should maximize the value of both. Don't waste eggs and the value of female sexuality by riding the cock carousel during your 20s. It's too costly. Feminism sold women bad advice.

Huh. Either this guy thinks women lay a big unfertilized egg every time they have sex, or he thinks girls and women should pretty much be perpetually pregnant from puberty onwards. I’m not sure which belief would be worse; they’re both gross and wrong.

My favorite response to Mr. Imig’s tweet so far:

Tippi ‏ @TrashFireT Follow Follow @TrashFireT More Replying to @_celia_bedelia_ Our eggs and our sexuality? Like... some kind of... sex chickens?

All this talk of chickens and eggs is making me hungry.

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Myriad
Myriad
2 years ago

Well, he seems sweet. 🙄

Some Kind of Sex Chicken Carrie
Some Kind of Sex Chicken Carrie
2 years ago

I don’t get it. We have more information and knowledge at our disposal than we have ever had before. Men (and women) of the past certainly were a lot less knowledgeable of “sex things”, yet they met, courted, married, and babied relatively fine.

But today somehow society has regressed into this unbelievable ignorance about women. Is it laziness? Is it purposeful ignorance? Is it mating strategy? I am at a complete loss.

At least Tippi gave us the sex chicken line I suppose.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Sex chicken
comment image

So, I bought a bottle of champagne to celebrate getting a new job. But I’m an introvert who got used to not being around people all day, every day and after 4 days of work, I wanted a quiet weekend alone. So I’m planning on drinking the entire bottle myself tonight.

Is that weird? Champagne is not normally consumed alone.

Don’t anyone worry that I’ll get way too drunk though. I have a very high tolerance for whine.

(A)utonomous Escapist
(A)utonomous Escapist
2 years ago

WWTH: Enjoy and congratulations!

Also, Red Pillers are echoing the good old talking point of women as breeders? That’s a bit fascist, if you ask me.

serrana
serrana
2 years ago

If you say “brutal truth” that makes you a tough guy who knows all the important things. Because brutal. You eat logic rocks for breakfast. Or raw concrete or something

/I may be a little drunk right now

Robert
Robert
2 years ago

This is right up there with the ignant men who think that women can ‘hold in’ menstrual blood until they get to a toilet.

I looked at his Twitter feed. He thinks very VERY highly of himself.

EverythingIsRidiculous
EverythingIsRidiculous
2 years ago

Well, I do make a great omelette.

Myriad
Myriad
2 years ago

@WWTH Congratulations on the new job. I started a new job in late June after working from home for 9 years, so I can relate. Hang in there. It does get a little easier, but I do value my alone time more so now.

tim gueguen
2 years ago

Sex Chicken sounds like a good name for a Primus tribute band.

cat
cat
2 years ago

“feminism sold women bad advice” uhhh.. anyone remember BUYING the Feminist Advice Book? no, the best lessons in feminism are the ones we get for free, from schmucks like Egbert here.

PS who is the egg gal in the header? she’s fabulous…..

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Damn, he dumb.

Everyone knows the greatest value a woman can offer a man (or a man a woman) is a back rub.

@wwth

Congratulations!

Bina
2 years ago

This guy thinks he can handle “brutal truth”? Okay, here’s one for HIM:

The greatest thing he has to offer womankind is his beard…and I don’t even LIKE beards. Whoever told him it was a good trend to hop onto, sold HIM bad advice.

(Also, congrats, WWTH! Enjoy that bubbly any which way you like it!)

solecism
solecism
2 years ago

Yay, WWTH! Congratulations and enjoy the champagne!

Also, great picture.

Sex and eggs? I saw that scene in Tampopo.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

@WWTH:

First off, congratulations. Second off, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with drinking champagne on your own, with the one caveat that you can’t really put a stopper in the bottle and leave half of it for the next day, so you do have to drink it all. Well, I mean, you can, but it’s not really very good the next day.

Champagne also does not have to be reserved for special occasions.

Orion Anderson
Orion Anderson
2 years ago

Congratulations, WWTH! I’m really excited for you. And confident you’ll rock it.

(Anyone want to wish me luck in my own search?)

Viscaria
Viscaria
2 years ago

Is this not the same guy who was sharing his brilliant insights about how you should never build up your girlfriend’s self esteem because emotional abuse is the only way his pathetic ass could manipulate a woman into staying with him women are naturally hypergamous and will leave you if you’re nice to them?

Congratulations, WWTH! I hope you drank and enjoyed your champagne.

Best of luck, Orion. I hope you find something quickly.

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

My sexuality is asexuality. I’m not exactly sure how I can offer that to anyone. I can knit beanies/scarves/socks that use the ace flag colors and I’m happy to share, I suppose. That’s pretty valuable.

The eggs part is significantly easier, though! I use a menstrual cup, so collecting the discharge instead of just flushing it would just require someone to provide me with some tupperware. I’m not sure what these men would want with it, but if they’re so jazzed about eggs, they’re welcome to have mine. They just have to pay me a modest fee, provide some tupperware, and pay for shipping. They’ll get one (1) egg cell and approximately 100 mL of blood, monthly. It’s a great deal. Any takers?

Orion
Orion
2 years ago

@Catalpa, honestly, there have been times in my life I was longing for someone to offer me a little asexuality. I’m far from asexual myself but it’s still frustrating how hard it can be sometimes to get any other kind of attention.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
2 years ago

Congratulations, WWTH! Good luck, Orion!

Full Metal Ox
2 years ago

@Tim Gueguen:

“Sex Chicken” sounds like a good name for a Primus tribute band.

To me, the phrase suggests Cleopatra’s condition at the end of Tod Browning’s Freaks.

Sheila Crosby
2 years ago

Now I’m reminded of a very old cartoon of a chicken and egg in bed together. The egg is smoking a cigarette and looking very smug. The chicken is looking pissed off and saying, “Well we certainly answered THAT question.”

Also semi OT: here is an awesome twitter thread about unwanted pregnancy.
https://threadreaderapp.com/thread/1040363431893725184.html

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
2 years ago

@ wwth;

Congrats on the job, enjoy the ‘pagne!! (I dunno what happens to others when they drink a whole bottle of bubbly… myself, I break out in handcuffs and wake up in jail…)

The intellectual flop who made the sexy eggs post should have the ‘nym “Buck”… “Buck Bacaw”

I’ll see myself out….

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

Congrats, WWTH! Hope the champagne was tasty. And good luck, Orion.

“wasting eggs”

Presumably he means only fertilized eggs have value, while unfertilized eggs are a waste. Considering the ratio of fertilized to unfertilized eggs in a woman’s lifetime is about 2.5:2,000,000, that’s an awful lot of waste.

What about women who can’t, or don’t want to, or no longer can, have children? Are they also wasting eggs?

How about women who freeze eggs in their early twenties? Couldn’t they then ride the cock carousel with impunity?

Why is this dollar store imam not making the same reductionist pronouncements about sperm? Isn’t trillions of unfertilized sperm during the 20s an even bigger waste?

It’s amazing to me how many dudes still think the old, tired SPINSTERS!!! fearmongering schtick still works. Most women in their 20s are well aware of how the biological clock works. Note how these guys never blame the 20-something Chads these women are dating, who are unwilling/unable to commit because they’re too busy having fun and getting established in their careers. Nobody’s accusing them of selfishness.

Anyway, the most humungous waste of an egg that I can think of would be allowing it to be fertilized, and then raised, by someone whose mating strategy is to panic women and then stampede them, like cattle. That poor little egg deserves better.

Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
Sinkable John : Pansy Ass Pinko, Regicidal Beast-of-Burden
2 years ago

Well, I guess you really can’t make an omelette without betraying your own ignorance of biology.

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
2 years ago

@WWTH: Congratulations!

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants: That’s a good point, about the so-called Chads being unwilling to commit. As usual, it’s women’s fault for failing to breed enough kids to replenish the white race. However, have a kid out of wedlock, and you’re a reviled single mother.

Z&T
Z&T
2 years ago

@ WWTH,

A stein hoist to you, from myself and my comrades in elbow bending 🙂

We’re drinking beer. And going to make a pizza. I have not yet progressed to home made, it’s a Home Run Inn frozen pizza.

I do like to cook and I’m trying to go back to more healthy eating since I’ve been eating too much junk. I was going to make fish and rice and green beans, but these drunkards arm twisted me, and on the cooking shows today everything seems to be pizza so I got a craving for pizza.

Now I mention this because I could go on at length about cooking, and I have an idea for a dish, which friends think would be a good idea, and want to make it right now! No, because pizza, and I thought I would run it by you all here to see what you think of this idea. It involves scrambled egg.

So. I often eat mac n cheese (as a side dish) and that makes a big pot so you have leftovers, most of which I freeze. So then you have this frozen container of mac n cheese, say about a cup, and you’re going to re heat that, right?

I don’t have a microwave. So to thaw this out I would put the container in a pan of hot water. Enough to slide it out, anyway, I could probably let it thaw more, or thaw in fridge the day before. With reheating it partially frozen, I add to the pot a bit of water and milk + cover it to create steam.

And you have to stir it so it doesn’t burn, and try to “break up” the frozen parts, which I usually do with a fork. And if you are impatient and keep mashing at this –> you can imagine what happens. It gets “mashed”. It ceases to resemble elbow macaroni and winds up pretty mashed and mushy. Which is OK, it’s edible, and may be even a new and interesting texture akin to mashed potatoes.

Now here is my idea, for such “mash n cheese”. Mash it fully, put in some extra cheese (which I do anyway), and then – add a scrambled egg (s).

Then mix that all together and fry it. Would it come out as a kind of like – cheese fritter?

What say? Good idea, or not?

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
2 years ago

WWTH, congrats! 🎉

On topic: I knew you were talking about The Sage Of Sheboygan as soon as I saw your headline.

He cracks me up. Check out this self-absorbed Tweet of his:

https://twitter.com/kent_imig/status/1041402538770288640?s=19

Full Metal Ox
2 years ago

@Z&T:

…and on the cooking shows today everything seems to be pizza so I got a craving for pizza.

Let me guess: you’ve been watching CreateTV? It’s their Pizza Party Weekend marathon: https://createtv.com/Schedule/09-16-2018

If the mac and cheese coheres into large chunks even without having been mashed,–and the egg might help serve as a binder–you might be able to try something structurally akin to Chinese pan-fried noodle cakes; this is also a good use for leftover packet ramen: https://www.seriouseats.com/2014/05/chinese-noodle-101-noodle-cake-seafood-sauce.html

Let us know what you wind up doing, and how your culinary experiment turns out!

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
2 years ago

RE: Wine in general. I know next to nothing about wine. The first wine I ever drank, circa 1986, was Martini & Rossi’s Asti Spumanti, heavily advertised on US TV during the 70s and 80s. I have since learned it’s a tacky, low class, unsophisticated wine, which is probably why I like it😄. To me, it tastes like peaches, and I love peaches

Anyway, I’m having some guests over. They’re relatives of my husbands, from the Netherlands, and they like to drink. I have no idea what wine to buy. I’m having a garlic seasoned pork roast for dinner.

I may just forget about the wine, and get some gin and scotch for cocktails. I know it’s silly to feel this way, but I don’t wanna seem like some rube to them.

Z&T
Z&T
2 years ago

@ Full Metal Ox,

Yes that was what I was watching!

And that explains the pizza! I was in and out earlier, flipping tv channels when home, not paying much attention, etc.

Well, that explains the pizza, ha 🙂

Now going to read up on these noodle cakes, thanks for this idea and link 🙂

Shadowplay
2 years ago

@Dormousing_it

Pino grigio goes nicely with roast pork. Yeah, it’s not a red, but so what? Complements the flavours.

Full Metal Ox
2 years ago

@Z&T:

A suggestion to accompany your mac-and-cheese fry: fresh sliced tomatoes–cheese and tomatoes being a stock umami partnership. (If I’m coming across as backseat cooking, it’s in part because I’m overdue for dinner myself. As luck would have it, I’ve got thematically fitting meal plans as well: when I get home, I mean to oven-fry some chicken thighs, marinated in plum vinegar, ginger, and garlic.)

Dormousing_it
Dormousing_it
2 years ago

@Shadowplay

Thanks for the suggestion, it’s much appreciated. I live in Pennsylvania, which has some of the stricktest liquor laws in the entire US. I do live very near to one of the premium State Liquor Stores, so maybe I can get some advice from them, too.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

My pleasure! Pork is pretty forgiving with what it pairs well with, as long as you steer clear of the higher tannin wines.

Or you could go for a cider or perry. They go together lovely and are a bit different to the standard wine with a formal meal.

There is the odd perk to being an alcoholic food lover. 😛

Marshmallow Stacey Maximal (formerly bluecat)
Marshmallow Stacey Maximal (formerly bluecat)
2 years ago

Congratulations WWTH!

Best of luck Orion!

I read this headline out to Mr Bluecat and he nodded said “Scrambled or fried?”

To be fair, it was breakfast time.

Re: wine – years ago a colleague gave a wine tasting party. All the guests were told to bring a white wine in a certain category and then there were tasting techniques and forms to fill in about the taste and so on. It was a weird stilted kind of social event as there was a lot of admin and sort of homework.

Being teachers all, and therefore somewhat skint, we all bought cheap white wine in the categories we’d been given.

What we all agreed on is that it’s really better if you don’t try to taste cheap white wines too carefully.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I’ve actually read that in blind taste tests, experts can’t tell the difference between expensive and cheap wine. I think they meant some of the more moderate priced stuff, not the dirt cheap stuff.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Experts also can’t tell the difference between real cooking and McDonalds in blind tests. So there’s that. 😛

I used to love wine tastings. Not because of all the pretentious twaddle, but they were great for finding wines I liked for both drinking and cooking that I’d not normally try.

Since I still cook with wine, there’s always four types in the house: An Orvieto Classico, a Pino Grigio, and a bulk produced Leibfraumilch (it’s brilliant as a rice wine replacement or in desserts) for whites and a decent Merlot for red.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

I don’t want to become a wine connoisseur, because then I would no longer be happy with $10 supermarket wines.

Generally I choose wines based on pretty label or weird name. If there’s a picture of a castle, it’s probably pretty decent.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

Chateau de Greyskull is quite nice.

Avoid the Skelatour though; that lacks body.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I’m more likely to buy a wine if there’s a picture of an animal on it.

Although I’m not ashamed to say, I usually get boxed wine. If I’m walking or bussing, it’s easier to transport. It’s the same quality as any other moderately priced wine. Franzia is crappy, but people are mistaken to judge all boxed wine because of it. Black Box is great.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

There’s nothing wrong with box wines; it’s just snobbery. From the sort of people who insist on corks, even though screwtop is objectively better for the wine.

We take box wine when we go hiking/camping. But we just take the inside bit.

Over here, drinking from the internal bag is called “milking the silver cow”.

ETA: Do not, under any circumstances, put wine in a Camelbak; it’s frikkin horrible then.

Robert
Robert
2 years ago

Buttercup – ten dollar supermarket wine?! Looxury!* We have a grocery outlet store here in Oakland that has a variety of eminently drinkable reds in the four to five dollar range. It seems remarkable how someone can produce a bottle of wine, bottle it and ship it from Australia, South Africa or Chile to here and it still sells for five bucks. I try to make three bottles last a week and I sometimes succeed.

My wish for the OP is that he lives long enough to learn enough to be horribly embarrassed by what a burbling whatsit he was.

*Cf. ‘Three Yorkshiremen’ sketch

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

There’s nothing wrong with box wines; it’s just snobbery. From the sort of people who insist on corks, even though screwtop is objectively better for the wine.

In my neck of the woods, it seemed like you couldn’t sell olive oil in a plastic bottle, because it’d be too trashy or something. Obviously, a clumsy person like me would rather not handle oil in glass bottles.

Eventually, olive oil became more mainstream here, not just a foodie thing, and there’s market for the cheap trashy brands.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

@Robert – Whod’a thought thirty years ago we’d all be sitting here drinking Chateau de Chassilier wine, eh?

It’s interesting how food packaging can affect people’s perceptions of taste. When Coke introduced the white polar bear can a few years ago, people started complaining that they’d changed the formula, even though it was exactly the same. Red signals sweetness (popcorn tastes sweeter in a red bowl, for example). Beer is judged to be more intense in a curved glass vs. a straight glass, and kids think food tastes more appealing if it has a cartoon character on the box vs. a plain box.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

One wine expert (I don’t remember who, unfortunately) once argued that for most people, there’s no point in going over $20 or so for a bottle of wine, because while there’s a noticeable difference between a $10 and a $20 bottle, above $20 the improvement in quality tends to be the sort of subtle thing that only people who make their living wine tasting will actually notice.

There are definitely some wines in my price range where an extra $2 is worth paying, especially if you’ve going to have company, because the improvement is blatant. But if you really can’t notice $2 worth of extra quality, don’t bother. At least for everyday stuff.

Z&T
Z&T
2 years ago

More cooking thoughts,

I think I will get myself an “HB 7” 😀

This would be a Hamilton Beach 7 speed mixer. Does anyone here have one? It’s the one with the handle on top.

I would like a Kitchen Aid mixer, they’re quite expensive, this is like 1/3 of the price and has good reviews online. I’m not a chef nor super serious cooking hobbyist, I do like to cook and would like to do more.

I think this might work for me, I do have to watch my spending, and be frugal.

And KA’s are expensive, so I Googled “mixers sim to Kitchen Aid” and this came up and it looks pretty nice, and a good price.

Anyone here have one? Feel free to brag about your HB7 🙂

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

@Rabid Rabbit:

Ah, the point of diminishing marginal returns in wine quality.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
2 years ago

Dave Malki! did a Wondermark strip a few years ago called “The Oenophile’s Dilemma,” which ended up going viral among winemakers; at least some of whom pointed out that wine only improves in quality for the first few months or years; the older vintages continue to go up in price, but that’s because their rarity is increasing as bottles from that year are consumed, rather than because the wine itself continues to get better and better unto infinity.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
2 years ago

Heston Blumenthal proved that in blind taste tests, Blue Nun cheap white wine that’s been in a Soda Stream is indistinguishable from Champagne.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Now he’s a strange one. 🙂

Nothing wrong with a bit of showmanship with meals, mind. Some of his dishes are truly lovely (we’ve been to The Fat Duck a couple times).