By David Futrelle
It’s hard to believe that it’s only been six months since the release of what might have been the world’s worst video game involving advice on how to pester women in public so you can get in their pants.
Now Super Seducer, the full-motion-video choose-your-own-adventure pickup artist game, has a sequel, the imaginatively titled Super Seducer 2, released yesterday on Steam. As improbable as it sounds, the new game is much slicker than the laughably amateurish original, with a budget reportedly ten times larger.
It features MORE LADIES paid to act as if game creator Richard La Ruina’s weird and creepy come-ons are actually super seductive, a wider assortment of ethnicities (the original game was a bit heavy on very white Slavic ladies), and … a sequence in which La Ruina gleefully murders some of the more prominent critics of his original game by blowing them up with missiles. Or at least with stock footage of explosions.
No, really:
According to its promo copy on Steam, the new game
takes seduction to all new levels of realism. With 10 times the budget of the first game, Super Seducer 2 is much bigger, better, and more seductive.
SS 2 features an assortment of squicky dating scenarios that will evidently teach you how to override your ethical standards in pursuit of the game’s new, better-lighted hotties. These include:
Boss & Secretary
It’s dangerous territory but the workplace is still a common place for relationships to begin. How do you successfully navigate and avoid getting fired (or sent to jail).Girl in a Group of Guys
One of the toughest seduction situations imaginable. She is a feminist and her friends are tough guys who’d like to squash you. …Older Mahmoud, Younger Woman
The man, the myth, the legend. Mahmoud is in town, and he has some dates. Can he seduce his Habibi? Will the 25 year age-gap help or hinder him?
In a brief video introducing the game, La Ruina notes that you can also play some of Super Seducer 2 “from a chick’s perspective.” And that it also features a dude from Scotland. This, by the way, is his idea of a hilarious joke. The new game devotes a lot more energy to the (intentional) comedy, though it’s clear from the segments I’ve seen that the unintentional comedy is still much, much funnier.
I would offer my own review of the game here, but I have literally not played even a single second of it, so instead I thought I would link you to this video from YouTube’s ProJared, one of the critics of the original game who is murdered in the new one. As you’ll see, La Ruina not only went to the trouble of buying stock footage of missiles for his fantasy revenge sequence; he also RENTED A REAL TANK to drive around in.
Evidently I am in the wrong line of work. Clearly I need to start making terrible choose-you-own-adventure dating sims so that some weird financier will shower me with enough money so I can live out my revenge fantasies with a REAL TANK.
I looked around to see if there were other short videos featuring laughable and/or horrible sequences from the game. And it turns out that there are already a whole bunch of videos up from people who’ve played the game. But most of them range in length from 30 minutes to more than THREE HOURS.
Which is a pity, because I’d really like to see what he thinks are the correct choices to make when one tries to, er, “seduce” one’s secretary. But I’m also too lazy to either play the game myself or wade through three-hour gameplay videos looking for the appropriate segments. So I guess we’re all out of luck, then. Sorry.
Did I mention the GRAPES? There are grapes.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: Ok, so I just watched a 37-minute video of the “Boss and Secretary” segment and his advice is basically to 1) act professionally for a while after hiring your secretary/target so she and the other employees won’t get suspicious, then 2) start “mentoring” her while doing your best to hide your ulterior motives (though they would be obvious to anyone in the real world outside of this game) and finally 3) just flat up ask her out on a date.
Apparently, if you’re not literally locking the office door and demanding a blowjob — one of the game’s actual incorrect choices — it’s perfectly fine to bosses to hit on their employees, and they’ll probably say yes!
It’s also clear from this segment that La Ruisa has never worked in an office and has no fucking clue as to what it is that people do in them all day or even a rudimentary notion of how businesses and capitalism in general function.
Also, as was the case in the previous game, everyone in this segment except Le Ruina himself seems to be Slavic. Not sure where all the exciting new ethnic characters are.
EDIT TO ADD: H/T to reader Wojtek Taraciński for tipping me off about this game.
@Moon_custafer:
It’s was bizarre. I think the first woman was a jogger in the street he approaches and the options were like:
“Touch yourself”
“Say hello and ask how she’s doing”
“Ask whether she wants your nuts”
And when you picked the “hello” option the guy said something like “Good, by asking her a question she will feel obligated to answer it. That way she will need to stop and will be unable to keep jogging”
I’ve been aware of the coming of this sequel for a few days now, thanks to a couple of awesome let’s play channels I follow on YouTube. Specifically, Geek Remix and A Girl And A Game. I have to say that the production values in this game are quite literally the only good thing about it. Seriously, I think that La Ruina has blown a whole lot of money to produce an elaborate revenge fantasy against his critics. Well, that, and also a cash-in sequel to his first “game”. The much-vaunted “ethnic diversity” seems to be entirely limited to having a couple of non-white men take the role of the “super seducer” with La Ruina just standing by and watching. All the women in the game have very noticeable Eastern European accents, so I guess we know Richard’s type (presumably: Slavic and someone who can’t say no to him if she wants to be paid for the day’s shooting).
the “original”-(ish), from the swingin’ seventies
Well, I suppose a game which teaches players to do the right things, but for the wrong reasons, might make a kind of sense – if its target audience would never accept the right reasons as valid.
I like how the ‘girls’ on the cover of ‘How To Pick Up Girls!’ seem to all have their arms folded, and exactly one of them is smiling: the others’ facial expressions all seem to say “Yeah, no” as well.
Manafort is flipping and Brett Kavanaugh is an attempted rapist.
Happy Friday, everyone.
with a published date of 01Jan1970, more properly from the swingin’ sixties…
I remember this advertised in comics and, even as a high schooler, it seemed… slimy, just wrong. Never read it, tho I was and am perfectly fine with judging it by its cover….
Malitia mentioned visual novels allready. One I played Phoenix Wright could be discripted as this. (Find the evidence you have and match it with the incorect statement) And this is a game that is telling its story and not allways an easy one.
But VN need a reason to be played. (Story would be one) Why should anyone played this Super Seducer.
WWTH:
But the Republicans have a letter from 65 women who knew him when he was at his all-boys school, saying he was a decent guy! Which is… kind of an odd thing to have prepared, if your guy is clean?
@Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie:
There’s a creepy sameness about those women on the cover.
RE: Super Seducer 2. Is there a video game for every possible activity a human might conceivably engage in? It sure seems that way, to me.
Whoops, a double post. I don’t know how that happened.
Speaking of visual novels, they really mean the “novel” part: the English translations of Fate/Stay Night and The Fruit of Grisaia clock in at around a million words each (roughly as long as the Bible or the Harry Potter series) (the original Japanese scripts are about 3.9 million characters each).
Well, considering that it’s a choose your own adventure game with multiple paths, you’ll probably only see about 200,000 words each playthrough.
In Fate/Stay Night (which has some adult scenes warning) chosing the wrong option can get you killed (not that this hasn’t got its own reward) but there are 3 routes which lead each to a different story.
@Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
It’d be great, we’d knit and crochet, tell stories under the covers, have book clubs, support each other during off hours, it’d just be fun. Just like a slice of life anime.
What’s that? Did someone estimate that the budget for Super Seducer 2 was ten times that of the previous game? Where is this guy getting the money for this?
Not that difficult to scrounge up a fiver, is it?
Never underastimated rightwingers motivation to trow away their money to “piss of the SJWs”. (See Hugo award, alt-Hero…)
Moggie,
Even more odd when you consider the fact that he went to an all boys school!
Well, he’s better than Uwe Boll in that he only pretends to assault people who criticized his work. But that bar is so low it’s somewhere in the earth’s mantle.
I was worried for them both at the end for being so close to launching missiles. Are they aware of the bellow of fire that purrs out when they literally rocket upward? A sexy set of overalls with a plunging neckline is no defence against flaming rocket exhaust gasses.
But there’s me bringing physics into it.
@WWTH:
Now, now, be fair. The Republicans are just being proactive and making sure the Supreme Court doesn’t lose its constitutionally mandated minimum number of sex offenders in case there’s a Democrat in power when Clarence Thomas goes.
“La Ruina”?
If that’s a nom-de-guerre, it’s a pretty beta choice for a PUA. It being a feminine noun and all.
So a whole $50 budget this time?
OT (sort of): So my supervisor is kind of a jerk. He constantly makes snarky “joking” comments about how I need to pick up the pace, he mocks my daily performance with comments like “you ONLY did x amount!?” (all in good fun of course!), made it a “funny” running gag about how I’m a washed-up, lesser version of the hard worker I used to be (used to work for him previously), flat-out ignores me half the time when I say good morning, sometimes literally turning and immediately saying good morning to someone else. The guy hasn’t had a single good thing to say about me since the day I started, yet literally every time anyone in management compliments my hard work, he has to interject about how this other person is way better than me.
Today I just realised that’s literally fucking textbook negging.
Thanks David, now I truly realise the depth of my supervisor’s sleazy assholery.