By David Futrelle
It’s hard to believe that it’s only been six months since the release of what might have been the world’s worst video game involving advice on how to pester women in public so you can get in their pants.
Now Super Seducer, the full-motion-video choose-your-own-adventure pickup artist game, has a sequel, the imaginatively titled Super Seducer 2, released yesterday on Steam. As improbable as it sounds, the new game is much slicker than the laughably amateurish original, with a budget reportedly ten times larger.
It features MORE LADIES paid to act as if game creator Richard La Ruina’s weird and creepy come-ons are actually super seductive, a wider assortment of ethnicities (the original game was a bit heavy on very white Slavic ladies), and … a sequence in which La Ruina gleefully murders some of the more prominent critics of his original game by blowing them up with missiles. Or at least with stock footage of explosions.
No, really:
According to its promo copy on Steam, the new game
takes seduction to all new levels of realism. With 10 times the budget of the first game, Super Seducer 2 is much bigger, better, and more seductive.
SS 2 features an assortment of squicky dating scenarios that will evidently teach you how to override your ethical standards in pursuit of the game’s new, better-lighted hotties. These include:
Boss & Secretary
It’s dangerous territory but the workplace is still a common place for relationships to begin. How do you successfully navigate and avoid getting fired (or sent to jail).Girl in a Group of Guys
One of the toughest seduction situations imaginable. She is a feminist and her friends are tough guys who’d like to squash you. …Older Mahmoud, Younger Woman
The man, the myth, the legend. Mahmoud is in town, and he has some dates. Can he seduce his Habibi? Will the 25 year age-gap help or hinder him?
In a brief video introducing the game, La Ruina notes that you can also play some of Super Seducer 2 “from a chick’s perspective.” And that it also features a dude from Scotland. This, by the way, is his idea of a hilarious joke. The new game devotes a lot more energy to the (intentional) comedy, though it’s clear from the segments I’ve seen that the unintentional comedy is still much, much funnier.
I would offer my own review of the game here, but I have literally not played even a single second of it, so instead I thought I would link you to this video from YouTube’s ProJared, one of the critics of the original game who is murdered in the new one. As you’ll see, La Ruina not only went to the trouble of buying stock footage of missiles for his fantasy revenge sequence; he also RENTED A REAL TANK to drive around in.
Evidently I am in the wrong line of work. Clearly I need to start making terrible choose-you-own-adventure dating sims so that some weird financier will shower me with enough money so I can live out my revenge fantasies with a REAL TANK.
I looked around to see if there were other short videos featuring laughable and/or horrible sequences from the game. And it turns out that there are already a whole bunch of videos up from people who’ve played the game. But most of them range in length from 30 minutes to more than THREE HOURS.
Which is a pity, because I’d really like to see what he thinks are the correct choices to make when one tries to, er, “seduce” one’s secretary. But I’m also too lazy to either play the game myself or wade through three-hour gameplay videos looking for the appropriate segments. So I guess we’re all out of luck, then. Sorry.
Did I mention the GRAPES? There are grapes.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: Ok, so I just watched a 37-minute video of the “Boss and Secretary” segment and his advice is basically to 1) act professionally for a while after hiring your secretary/target so she and the other employees won’t get suspicious, then 2) start “mentoring” her while doing your best to hide your ulterior motives (though they would be obvious to anyone in the real world outside of this game) and finally 3) just flat up ask her out on a date.
Apparently, if you’re not literally locking the office door and demanding a blowjob — one of the game’s actual incorrect choices — it’s perfectly fine to bosses to hit on their employees, and they’ll probably say yes!
It’s also clear from this segment that La Ruisa has never worked in an office and has no fucking clue as to what it is that people do in them all day or even a rudimentary notion of how businesses and capitalism in general function.
Also, as was the case in the previous game, everyone in this segment except Le Ruina himself seems to be Slavic. Not sure where all the exciting new ethnic characters are.
EDIT TO ADD: H/T to reader Wojtek Taraciński for tipping me off about this game.
La Ruina got ripped off if he intends to use those missiles against his critics. They’re S-125 Neva/Pechora, aka SA3 Goa, surface to air missiles. Your enemy needs to be flying by in an airplane for them to be much use.
For some reason Rogers Media likes to play ads for their local radio stations during the Blue Jays broadcasts on Canadian sports channel Sportsnet. I can’t figure out why, because why would someone in Saskatoon or Toronto want to listen to the morning show from Sonic 102.9 in Edmonton? In any case the latest Sonic ad has a guy in it that made me think of Roosh V.
@WWTH:
Surprise, surprise. Who else would Trump pick to be his crusading knight against Roe v. Wade? I don’t suppose this time it’s still within the statute of limitations? I’d like to imagine a criminal conviction and ongoing jail sentence would disqualify someone from sitting on the Supreme Court, if only because you can’t really properly hear cases from behind a set of iron bars …
@Weird Eddie:
Unless that just means someone left the date field blank or there was a database error somewhere. It’s very common for that to result in a date of 01Jan1970 because that’s the start of the “Unix epoch” and a unix time value of zero will result in this date. And of course zero is the default a lot of the time for uninitialized numeric fields …
I’ve even seen this on a Windows computer on file modification dates that got zapped somehow. The files in question all showed in Explorer as dating back to January 1, 1970, eons (in cyber time) before the files in question even existed.
@Who?
Because they can’t do it in real life? I suspect this thing is marketed not mainly at PUA/redpills but at incels …
Wait..he put a video game critic *in* his game to get back at him? Is he trying to become the next Digital Homicide or what? Hopefully, he won’t sue ProJared next.
Gentlemen. How to pick up girls. Join an advanced ballet class. You’ll have to pick up girls all the time. Don’t hurt your back.
Surplus:
Okay, this reminds me of a story of righwing SF in Germany.
It was so badly written that the question was, do those guy deserve better or do they get what they diserve?
(The funny think was that the German readers were told, that it was written by a censored American writer, it was not widly believed)
Okay before I talk about the writer who sold his first novel as a translation of a british writer, who never existed, back to topic.
Okay perhaps there is a market for games such as those, but dating sims seem to provide a better product that could be more fun. (Okay here you have to pay attention to the person you want to date, that could be a minus)
And I still feal bad for someone (who is playing it to see how bad it is) who loses time on that think, there are thinks that are way more fun (like everythink really). Please play a game that sucks less.
Weird Eddie – In the mid 80s, I worked with a couple of guys that were roommates. The guy who was my trainer was always telling me about his roomie’s* strange habits and behaviors, especially where women were concerned. Trainer guy brought that book (which belonged to his roomate) in one night shift and much hilarity ensued when we read passages aloud to each other.
So I can tell everyone that “How to Pick Up Girls” is most definitely a proto-PUA manual.
*a proto-incel if ever there was one
La Ruina is so damn cringy I don’t get how even other PUAs don’t seem to hate him.
But then I remember Mystery.
I’m a big fan of ProJared and I just couldn’t watch his video of the first one. Too close to the actual horror.
I might have to try to look at this one if only to see his reaction to being PUA ground-to-air missile murdered. Fly high, Mr Knabenbauer. Fly high.
La Ruina means “the ruin” in Spanish, sooo… I guess that kinda fits with how he gets results.
The game promises to be a huge improvement over the first, but it’s just as demeaning. Richard hasn’t learned a thing except increasing the budget.
Even the sequel is messed up, and in some ways, it’s just as bad as the first Super Seducer. It’s sad that it exists.