By David Futrelle
Today, a Twitter self-own so perfect, so pure, that it may well bring a tear to your eye.
Our story begins several days ago after a Tweeter called George — a plus-sized model/blogger in the UK (and a lady, despite the name) — responds to a famously dumb tweet joking about the (imaginary) tendency of vaginas to become cavernous after encountering more than a couple of penises, a favorite incel/misogynist folk belief.
A wild incel appears!
A discussion ensues, in which the incel insists he is not actually an incel but in fact something of a hands-on expert with regards to vaginas. (If the text in any of the screenshots below gets too small, click on the image in question to see the relevant section of the original thread on Twitter, then return here for the rest.)
George returns to the discussion with a data point based on her own actual vagina.
The incel takes a new tack, suggesting that George is metaphorically loose.
The discussion continues apace, with ProtoUnhold alternately denouncing his opponents as sluts while asserting his own alleged studliness. Then our intrepid incel makes the mistake of mentioning his totally real girlfriend.
This was not the effective rebuttal he evidently hoped it would be.
The full screenshot, for maximum effect:
Oops.
ProtoUnhold left the discussion after one more tweet and never returned.
Now, I suppose he could argue that this self-own was so total and so obvious that it wasn’t a REAL self own but rather the result of his own secret campaign of mega-trollery — and that he posted the sex doll pic TOTALLY ON PURPOSE in order to suggest that Chubbs the Kitten was herself a virgin. But he didn’t stick around to even try to make the case that it was TOTALLY ON PURPOSE GUYS YOU’RE THE ONES WHO GOT OWNED HA HA HA so that seems rather far fetched.
It’s all a bit reminiscent of this famous tweet, though to be fair this one really WAS a joke.
Out on the town having the time of my life with a bunch of friends. They're all just out of frame, laughing too. pic.twitter.com/VCbkZwWwvs
— nathan fielder (@nathanfielder) July 12, 2015
Every time I hear this bit of incel bonkeyheadedness, I am reminded that I once met a woman who believed cats could suck the breath out of a sleeping infant.
There’s a lot of ignorance in this world.
Okay, what’s weird is that this post answers a question I’ve been curious about. I had a reply to the original fish tweet that’s been getting some new likes so I knew the fish tweet had received some renewed attention but had no idea where. Now I know at least one of the sources.
He was really a special kind of stupid if he thought that people could not only tell that was not an actual human, but that they were incapable of searching for image sources. Self-own, indeed.
I for one think George is a very pretty name 🙂
Oh, he’s German, phew. For a sec there, I thought he was Murican. Was worried about his imaginary partners’ imaginary medical bills…
That’s the problem with incels, they think women are objects and objects are women.
No wonder they can’t tell vaginas from sliced fish.
I think it’s possible that he does have a partner but that she’s not an HB9 or 10 so he didn’t want to post a real pic. Not that there’s anything wrong with not looking like a supermodel, of course. Just that misogynists are so vapid that they only care about getting approval from the other misogynists for having arm candy.
@Victorious Parasol,
I once read someplace long ago that the cats stealing an infant’s breath thing was based on the fact that some cats do like to smell the breath of babies. But that is because the baby’s breath smells like milk/formula, and the cats just want to see if the baby happens to have any more of that good stuff lying around. “Oooh baby, your breath smells guuuuuud!!!! What breath mints are you using?”
I suppose it’s too much to hope for that he didn’t want to invade his partner’s privacy.
Just to add as a Brit, “George / Georgie” is a common way for us to shorten the name “Georgina”.
And for ages I have been dismissing misogynists by asking why 20 penises once makes a difference but not the same penis 20 times.
I love how this sounds like a child introducing you to their favourite doll or stuffed animal. It makes me want to smile condescendingly, say “nice to meet you, Becky,” and pretend to shake her hand.
@Victorious Parasol,
I’ve always thought there might be a grain of truth in that belief about cats: they like snuggling on humans, so they could accidentally smother a tiny sleeping human by snuggling on them. Add that to ancient cultural beliefs that unfairly attribute sinister motives to cats, and voilà.
Further proof that these guys have no idea what an actual human woman looks like.
At all.
Personally I always thought this was a stalking horse for that other misogynist superstition, that once stretched out by a large dick, it never goes back to original size. I suspect what they’re thinking-but-not-saying is that out of 20 random men, there’s bound to be a big one in there.
Well, we had George Sand, lover of Chopin, long time ago…
I’m wondering about Kaarina the Japanese sex doll, since that name is a Finnish variant of Karen/Karin.
Becky works in the local grocery store. The kind where the employees wear name tags, perhaps? He hasn’t yet plucked up the courage to ask her out, but he’s imagined it many times, and in his head she always says yes.
I suspect his posting of that photo was intended to be humour, but, like everything else he says, it was poor judgement.
Ha ha – this is hilarious. My fave bit of the twitter convo is dicks getting tinier and tinier after being squeezed by many vaginas – the physiological effect of man-sluttery.
Here’s an interesting article about man-sluttery. https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/rule-of-ten-magic-number-sexual-partners
Though I suppose it applies equally well to women. I’ve lived the rule of 10 twice. It was around 10 til my marriage (whereupon my sex life took a total nose dive) and then around the same number again until I met my current partner. My former partner – who was a virgin when I met him – tried to make a big deal of my ‘numbers’. One of many things about him which were distasteful.
Like Betjeman, my deathbed regret might have been “I wish I’d had more sex…” but I’m making up for lost time now. But interestingly it isn’t clear whether this is a regret for more partners or for an abundance with one.
Out of my own number there are some I regret – but not because of the extra notch but because of the individual. Re. my current partner – I will be very happy if he is my last sexual partner – and I’d have been happier still if I’d found him earlier in my life.
That article is a load of absolute bollocks. There’s not a shred of actual data in it, let alone coherent argument based on same.
I think you’re all being very disrespectful to Becky – who, sadly, died shortly after the photo was taken, when she snorted marijuana at a party.
@Victorious Parasol: “I once met a woman who believed cats could suck the breath out of a sleeping infant.”
That’s not cats, that’s air vampires. Easy to mix those up.
Then there’s the argument that even a perfectly monogamous woman who has been in more than a few relationships has too much “emotional baggage” to be worth dating, because if there’s one thing 30-year-old incels don’t like, it’s emotional baggage…
Apparently, according ProtoUnhold, imaginary vaginal loosening is a perfectly sensible metaphor for a woman gaining a “slutty” reputation, because supposedly men hate having relationships with both promiscuous women and vaginally loose women (hence the phrase “loose woman” – get it?).
So, hypothetically, if you have sex with numerous partners in a hidden spot in forest and nobody hears about it – does it still make you loose?
Isn’t 34 way past the wall? What will the other incels think?
Anyway, for me it isn’t the imaginary girlfriend that’s the issue (I once made up an imaginary boyfriend named David Doobie in the 8th grade, in order to get a creepy boy to back off. Stupid name, but I kind of wanted to signal that I preferred dating a fictional boy to meeting him in the woods after school. I, um, met him at summer camp).
Anyway, it’s not so much the fake girlfriend, it’s the fact that he thinks being in a relationship grants someone unshakeable authority to spout off about What All Women Are Like. And then he proceeds to be so incredibly wrong and degrading about it.
Bags of sand, I tell ya!
@ Bina; all:
A WINNAH!!!
@ Dalillama:
These folks don’t use “actual” data, they use “alternative” data… e.g. “everybody knows” and “nuh-uh”
The guy is in with the nazis too, which is hardly surprising, and of course spouting the usual mra crap. Going by his twitter feed he is an all around piece of shit and there’s stuff on there that is way, way worse than this: a meme for example about a father raping his daughter violently because she wants an xbox instead of (what the father deems superior) a pc…. and then i just stopped reading, because it makes me feel sick that I share my country with this pile of toxic human garbage. But sure, that meme is also ‘just a joke’, amirite.
Becky is also not a typical german name at all. I dont think we shorten Rebecca to that often either. 🙂