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dude you've got no fucking idea what you're talking about entitled babies evil sex-having women facepalm incels loose vaginas men who should not ever be with imaginary women ever men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny self-own sex dolls slut shaming TROOOOLLLL? twitter vaginas

My Normal Partner Who Shares My Opinion on Sluts: An incel self-own for the ages

Normal as hell

By David Futrelle

Today, a Twitter self-own so perfect, so pure, that it may well bring a tear to your eye.

Our story begins several days ago after a Tweeter called George —  a plus-sized model/blogger in the UK (and a lady, despite the name) — responds to a famously dumb tweet joking about the (imaginary) tendency of vaginas to become cavernous after encountering more than a couple of penises, a favorite incel/misogynist folk belief.

A wild incel appears!

A discussion ensues, in which the incel insists he is not actually an incel but in fact something of a hands-on expert with regards to vaginas. (If the text in any of the screenshots below gets too small, click on the image in question to see the relevant section of the original thread on Twitter, then return here for the rest.)

George returns to the discussion with a data point based on her own actual vagina.

The incel takes a new tack, suggesting that George is metaphorically loose.

The discussion continues apace, with ProtoUnhold alternately denouncing his opponents as sluts while asserting his own alleged studliness. Then our intrepid incel makes the mistake of mentioning his totally real girlfriend.

This was not the effective rebuttal he evidently hoped it would be.

The full screenshot, for maximum effect:

Oops.

ProtoUnhold left the discussion after one more tweet and never returned.

Now, I suppose he could argue that this self-own was so total and so obvious that it wasn’t a REAL self own but rather the result of his own secret campaign of mega-trollery — and that he posted the sex doll pic TOTALLY ON PURPOSE in order to suggest that Chubbs the Kitten was herself a virgin. But he didn’t stick around to even try to make the case that it was TOTALLY ON PURPOSE GUYS YOU’RE THE ONES WHO GOT OWNED HA HA HA so that seems rather far fetched.

It’s all a bit reminiscent of this famous tweet, though to be fair this one really WAS a joke.

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Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
2 years ago

Every time I hear this bit of incel bonkeyheadedness, I am reminded that I once met a woman who believed cats could suck the breath out of a sleeping infant.

There’s a lot of ignorance in this world.

Tabby Lavalamp
2 years ago

Okay, what’s weird is that this post answers a question I’ve been curious about. I had a reply to the original fish tweet that’s been getting some new likes so I knew the fish tweet had received some renewed attention but had no idea where. Now I know at least one of the sources.

Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
2 years ago

He was really a special kind of stupid if he thought that people could not only tell that was not an actual human, but that they were incapable of searching for image sources. Self-own, indeed.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
2 years ago

I for one think George is a very pretty name 🙂

I make women squirt until they dehydrate and have to go to the ER

Oh, he’s German, phew. For a sec there, I thought he was Murican. Was worried about his imaginary partners’ imaginary medical bills…

Bina
2 years ago

That’s the problem with incels, they think women are objects and objects are women.

No wonder they can’t tell vaginas from sliced fish.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I think it’s possible that he does have a partner but that she’s not an HB9 or 10 so he didn’t want to post a real pic. Not that there’s anything wrong with not looking like a supermodel, of course. Just that misogynists are so vapid that they only care about getting approval from the other misogynists for having arm candy.

Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
Redsilkphoenix: Jetpack Vixen, Intergalactic Meanie
2 years ago

@Victorious Parasol,

I once read someplace long ago that the cats stealing an infant’s breath thing was based on the fact that some cats do like to smell the breath of babies. But that is because the baby’s breath smells like milk/formula, and the cats just want to see if the baby happens to have any more of that good stuff lying around. “Oooh baby, your breath smells guuuuuud!!!! What breath mints are you using?”

Podkayne Lives
Podkayne Lives
2 years ago

I think it’s possible that he does have a partner but that she’s not an HB9 or 10 so he didn’t want to post a real pic. Not that there’s anything wrong with not looking like a supermodel, of course. Just that misogynists are so vapid that they only care about getting approval from the other misogynists for having arm candy.

I suppose it’s too much to hope for that he didn’t want to invade his partner’s privacy.

Steph Tohill
Steph Tohill
2 years ago

Just to add as a Brit, “George / Georgie” is a common way for us to shorten the name “Georgina”.

And for ages I have been dismissing misogynists by asking why 20 penises once makes a difference but not the same penis 20 times.

Malice W Underland
Malice W Underland
2 years ago

Her name is Becky, and she works at the local grocery store, she’s 34 and she loves Trump.

I love how this sounds like a child introducing you to their favourite doll or stuffed animal. It makes me want to smile condescendingly, say “nice to meet you, Becky,” and pretend to shake her hand.

@Victorious Parasol,
I’ve always thought there might be a grain of truth in that belief about cats: they like snuggling on humans, so they could accidentally smother a tiny sleeping human by snuggling on them. Add that to ancient cultural beliefs that unfairly attribute sinister motives to cats, and voilà.

Mea
Mea
2 years ago

Further proof that these guys have no idea what an actual human woman looks like.

At all.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

comment image

Orion Anderson
Orion Anderson
2 years ago

Personally I always thought this was a stalking horse for that other misogynist superstition, that once stretched out by a large dick, it never goes back to original size. I suspect what they’re thinking-but-not-saying is that out of 20 random men, there’s bound to be a big one in there.

occasional reader
occasional reader
2 years ago

Well, we had George Sand, lover of Chopin, long time ago…

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Just to add as a Brit, “George / Georgie” is a common way for us to shorten the name “Georgina”.

I’m wondering about Kaarina the Japanese sex doll, since that name is a Finnish variant of Karen/Karin.

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

Becky works in the local grocery store. The kind where the employees wear name tags, perhaps? He hasn’t yet plucked up the courage to ask her out, but he’s imagined it many times, and in his head she always says yes.

I suspect his posting of that photo was intended to be humour, but, like everything else he says, it was poor judgement.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
2 years ago

Ha ha – this is hilarious. My fave bit of the twitter convo is dicks getting tinier and tinier after being squeezed by many vaginas – the physiological effect of man-sluttery.

Here’s an interesting article about man-sluttery. https://www.gq-magazine.co.uk/article/rule-of-ten-magic-number-sexual-partners

Though I suppose it applies equally well to women. I’ve lived the rule of 10 twice. It was around 10 til my marriage (whereupon my sex life took a total nose dive) and then around the same number again until I met my current partner. My former partner – who was a virgin when I met him – tried to make a big deal of my ‘numbers’. One of many things about him which were distasteful.

Like Betjeman, my deathbed regret might have been “I wish I’d had more sex…” but I’m making up for lost time now. But interestingly it isn’t clear whether this is a regret for more partners or for an abundance with one.

Out of my own number there are some I regret – but not because of the extra notch but because of the individual. Re. my current partner – I will be very happy if he is my last sexual partner – and I’d have been happier still if I’d found him earlier in my life.

Dalillama
Dalillama
2 years ago

That article is a load of absolute bollocks. There’s not a shred of actual data in it, let alone coherent argument based on same.

Diptych
Diptych
2 years ago

I think you’re all being very disrespectful to Becky – who, sadly, died shortly after the photo was taken, when she snorted marijuana at a party.

Citerior Motive
Citerior Motive
2 years ago

@Victorious Parasol: “I once met a woman who believed cats could suck the breath out of a sleeping infant.”

That’s not cats, that’s air vampires. Easy to mix those up.

BardicLiving
BardicLiving
2 years ago

Then there’s the argument that even a perfectly monogamous woman who has been in more than a few relationships has too much “emotional baggage” to be worth dating, because if there’s one thing 30-year-old incels don’t like, it’s emotional baggage…

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Apparently, according ProtoUnhold, imaginary vaginal loosening is a perfectly sensible metaphor for a woman gaining a “slutty” reputation, because supposedly men hate having relationships with both promiscuous women and vaginally loose women (hence the phrase “loose woman” – get it?).

So, hypothetically, if you have sex with numerous partners in a hidden spot in forest and nobody hears about it – does it still make you loose?

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

Isn’t 34 way past the wall? What will the other incels think?

Anyway, for me it isn’t the imaginary girlfriend that’s the issue (I once made up an imaginary boyfriend named David Doobie in the 8th grade, in order to get a creepy boy to back off. Stupid name, but I kind of wanted to signal that I preferred dating a fictional boy to meeting him in the woods after school. I, um, met him at summer camp).

Anyway, it’s not so much the fake girlfriend, it’s the fact that he thinks being in a relationship grants someone unshakeable authority to spout off about What All Women Are Like. And then he proceeds to be so incredibly wrong and degrading about it.

Bags of sand, I tell ya!

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
2 years ago

@ Bina; all:

That’s the problem with incels, they think women are objects and objects are women.

No wonder they can’t tell vaginas from sliced fish.

A WINNAH!!!

@ Dalillama:

There’s not a shred of actual data in it, let alone coherent argument based on same.

These folks don’t use “actual” data, they use “alternative” data… e.g. “everybody knows” and “nuh-uh”

katzentier
katzentier
2 years ago

The guy is in with the nazis too, which is hardly surprising, and of course spouting the usual mra crap. Going by his twitter feed he is an all around piece of shit and there’s stuff on there that is way, way worse than this: a meme for example about a father raping his daughter violently because she wants an xbox instead of (what the father deems superior) a pc…. and then i just stopped reading, because it makes me feel sick that I share my country with this pile of toxic human garbage. But sure, that meme is also ‘just a joke’, amirite.

Becky is also not a typical german name at all. I dont think we shorten Rebecca to that often either. 🙂

Valkyrine
Valkyrine
2 years ago

@katzentier

Well, Becky is the name incels denote the “not quite hot enough but passable I guess” women who they think they at the very least deserve to date since Stacey (Stacy? Stacie??) is out of their “looksmatch”. Of course they actually mean “super cute girl next door” type, not your average woman on the street.

Katzentier
Katzentier
2 years ago

I’m not sure if he did that on purpose or if it’s just another kind of self own, albeit one that pales in comparison to claiming a sex doll is your very very real girlfriend. I think I just wanted to point out that it’s already unlikely for a Becky to work in the grocery store around the block in Germany, let alone a Becky who is also into slut shaming AND Trump at the same time, even if she wasn’t a sex doll.

I have plenty racist relatives, the new nazis definitely have a lot more traction than I’m comfortable with, but most Germans are still not happy with all the obvious lies Trump spouts about us, nor are we a fan of his threats against the European union (both trade and defensewise). German right wing idiot doesn’t equal trump fan, even less so with the ladies.

That said, it’s bad enough how it is and we gotta watch our steps too. At the end of the day our nazis do have the same talking points as trumpists and they are on the rise and we can not let them get power. I’m not saying our nazis are better people than yours, just that they don’t like being insulted by “allies”.

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

These guys just keep making the case for the necessity of proper sex ed with every new tweet.

HINT HINT Premier Dipshit!

Seriously, yesterday’s news that DoFo is actually going to invoke the Notwithstanding Clause in service of overruling a court ruling that smacked down his power play against Toronto Council has me very worried. In Grade 11 Law class, we came to understand that this was the equivalent of the nuclear football sitting right next to the levers of power with a warning sign saying “MAY CAUSE CONSTITUTIONAL CRISIS — PLEASE DON’T TOUCH!”

It’s only been invoked 5 times since 1982, mostly by Quebec regarding language laws. It allows the federal or a provincial legislature to override judicial review, but such a law is limited to a five-year term (the logic being that five years is a standard parliamentary term). It was included in the Charter as a condition of its acceptance by the provinces with the hope that it would not be abused. Sadly neither Justice Minister (and eventual PM) Jean Chretien nor Pierre Trudeau foresaw a know-nothing petty reactionary assume control of the most populous province in the land.

And he’s using it to override a judge’s ruling that he can’t cut the Toronto council before an election. He can still cut council after. He can still appeal the ruling. But no, that nuclear weapon button is too tempting for him to use.

comment image

…he’s been in office less than three months.

It’s times like this I really, really get steamed at the Ontario Liberal Party with squandering 15 years of opportunity to set Ontario on a course that would make populist dillholes like the Ford brothers unpalatable to their credulous audience, as well as the media for not laying the stakes plainly. I realize this is incredibly condescending, but it’s tough to blame people who don’t know any better for treating a vote for a slick-talking confidence man as some kind of quirky protest against obvious neoliberal inefficacy.

Honestly, how many Ontarians only heard about what the notwithstanding clause of the Charter is yesterday? It was probably something we all should have known we were potentially handing to a discount Donald Trump before we got in the voting booth in June, huh?

Three years, nine months left to go….

sarah_kay_gee
sarah_kay_gee
2 years ago

Have you ever written about Reno Omokri, the originator of the bad fish metaphor? He’s a complete misogynist nut, too. In addition to being obsessed with pre-marital sex, he also constantly rants about the dangers of “witchcraft”. And he was a spokesperson for Nigerian President Goodluck Jonathan, who loved throwing gay people in jail for the crime of being gay.

He uses the hashtag #RenosNuggets on Twitter, if you want to check out an easily curated selection of his insanity. He loves to compare women to food–fish, oranges, soup–and thinks women who have had abortions have dead babies inside of them. Mate, that is not how abortions work!

epitome of incomprehensibility

Aiee.

I make women squirt until they dehydrate and have to go to the ER

That is
1) not a way you can get dehydrated.
2) gross, and not (just) in a “yuck” way – it implies he wants to harm women. (‘Course, it’s “just a joke,” as if it makes things fine.)

@Katamount –

Honestly, how many Ontarians only heard about what the notwithstanding clause of the Charter is yesterday?

I can’t answer to being in Ontario (I lived there for a year and a half, but came back to Montreal) but I remember the “notwithstanding clause” from Grade 10 history – probably because it sounded dramatic.

Opinion piece I read in the paper said that the court stalling Ford is a sign of the courts having too much power, which they shouldn’t because the judicial area of the government wasn’t elected, etc. While the idea of more direct democracy isn’t bad, the writer missed the point. If you want to make a big change to the frame of your governance – e.g. the number of council seats in your province’s biggest city – it should be an across-board decision as much as possible and not just one party pushing it through. That is undemocratic. It’s like someone winning an election and then changing how elections are held to ensure that they keep control of power. (As far as I understand it.)

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

@epitome of incomprehensibility

Opinion piece I read in the paper said that the court stalling Ford is a sign of the courts having too much power, which they shouldn’t because the judicial area of the government wasn’t elected, etc

Yeah, I see a lot of that bandied about by the usual suspects on the right. I actually have a lot of trust in our judiciary and that actually does cross parties; Roy McMurtry was a Progressive Conservative who served in the cabinet of Premier Bill Davis back in the 80s as Attorney General, and then was the Chief Justice of the Ontario Supreme Court from 1996 to 2007. I hold him in great esteem. The Harper-appointed justices on the Supreme Court of Canada have been pretty even-handed in their decisions, as far as I am aware, and new Chief Justice Richard Wagner strikes me as a perfectly capable successor to Beverley McLachlin.

Polls I’ve read that the majority of Canadians feel the same sense of satisfaction with the courts and I’m always reticent when it comes to the boilerplate “judicial activism” attack, especially here in Canada, but this ranks as easily the worst I’ve witnessed. This is Ford finding his father’s gun in the closet and taking aim at the judiciary. This is as bad as it sounds, and knowing Ford, only going to get worse.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
2 years ago

Sigh – I reposted some article links about Ford on Facebook, and my former high-school physics teacher, who I thought still lived in the Maritimes, just commented, characterizing it as “Andrea Horvath whining.” I replied that apart from everything else, it bothers me that Ford is claiming his use of the Notwithstanding clause as bravely carrying out the will of the people who elected him, when as far as I can recall, promising to cut seats on Toronto’s city council was not part of the platform he ran on.

I already had to block Mr. S’s son a few months ago, after he called my friends left-wing bigots and PM’d me to say he’d only friended me because of a deceased friend we had in common, and that I was “poisoning” his good memories of those times. Wondering if things are going to repeat.

I don’t recall this family being that conservative when I was a teenager (then again the daughter was the one I actually hung out with).

solecism
solecism
2 years ago

@Malice W Underland

I’ve always thought there might be a grain of truth in that belief about cats: they like snuggling on humans, so they could accidentally smother a tiny sleeping human by snuggling on them. Add that to ancient cultural beliefs that unfairly attribute sinister motives to cats, and voilà.

Back when I was dating ex, around year 3, I got diagnosed with cancer, went through chemo, lost my hair, so my head radiated heat like an infrared beacon in the darkness. My then-boyfriend’s ancient cat decided that lying across my face while I was asleep was the best thing ever. Not cuddled across the top of my head–across my nose and mouth. I felt her reposition herself once when I was half asleep to make sure she was completely blocking my airways.

By then, we’d been dating long distance about 2-3 years, and he’d brought the cats down to live with me because my apartment was bigger with more windows. I sometimes wonder if she waited for the plausible deniability of my hot head to make her move once she’d realized I wasn’t going away anytime soon.

She also spent a lot of time falling asleep in my lap and demanding pets. And both cats definitely sniffed my mouth on the regular to make sure I hadn’t been holding out on them and eating goodies when they weren’t looking.

So I can see why some people look askance at kitties and devise interesting superstitions. Lots of pets can get jealous at new family members taking attention away from them.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
2 years ago

@Sarah

He’s a complete misogynist nut, too

an easily curated selection of his insanity

Comments policy. Thanks

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

@Katamount

The thing is, while DoFo can still cut council after the election, that means he’s stuck with a 47-seat council for the entirety of his first term, and he might not get another (we can only hope). He has to get his petty revenge in now, just in case. And use the nuclear option because what the hell, why not.

And he’s talking about maybe using it for other things too? Christ, can’t premiers be told they’ve got a lifetime limit on how often they’re allowed to invoke it? Sorry, only one Get-Out-of-the-Constitution-Free card allowed per turn…

jane
jane
2 years ago

These people have never heard of kegal exercises.
I have had sex with hundreds of men. I still get compliments on the tight fit.
What’s funny is that even when I was new at sex (aka a virgin), a small dick still didn’t feel that good. I thought it was because of me.

After having more experience I realized, no, it’s not because of me.

These men with performance issues, if they have a spare brain cell, should learn how to use their tongue properly.

jane
jane
2 years ago

I should edit my previous comment by pointing out that I have had *safe sex* with hundreds of men.
And add a name drop for Planned Parenthood.

Full Metal Ox
2 years ago

@Valkyrine:

If I understand you correctly:

Stacey=Veronica.

Becky=Betty.

(I don’t think the incel community has yet come up with a dismissive name for the Big Ethels–and probably just as well.)

Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
Valentin - Emigrantski Ragamuffin
2 years ago

The guy in the article picture is actually quite cute. confusing🙃

James Hutchings
2 years ago

I don’t get why he’d post a picture of a sex doll, when he could just as easily have found a picture of a real woman.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
2 years ago

@James

Most likely, it was just the first Google result for whatever he typed.

Rahu
Rahu
2 years ago

Valentin – the guy in the picture is Ryan Gosling, an extremely talented and extremely nice Canadian actor. The picture is a still from the movie “Lars and the Real Girl”.

http://m.imdb.com/title/tt0805564/?ref=m_nv_sr_1

Amanda
Amanda
2 years ago

Is this for real? Incel posts pic of sex doll saying “this is my gf” and expects people to believe that? Is he really that dumb? [note to self: yes] I can’t believe this isn’t some kind of weird joke…