By David Futrelle
On the reliably dreadful Incels.me forums, some of the regulars are once again reminding us why it’s a good thing that most of these guys aren’t dating any actual human women, suggesting that if they were lucky enough to find girlfriends for themselves they’d never let these lucky women out of the house lest they happen to meet a more handsome man.
Someone calling himself patheticmanletcel starts off the thread with this confession:
![Inceldom Discussion [Serious] If i had a girlfriend i would to stay inside with her forever Thread starterpatheticmanletcel Start dateThursday at 11:42 AM patheticmanletcel Captain - Thursday at 11:42 AM#1 Serious i would never want to go outside, getting mogged and humiliated in front of my girlfriend would be too much, i would want to be isolated from the world with her, just us no one else, no internet no tv](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/09/jhjhgjhgjgjhgjh.png?resize=580%2C594&ssl=1)
Sounds like quite a treat for her!
(And by the way, “mogged” is PUA/incel slang for “out-alphaed by another guy.”)
While there were a few dissenters in the thread, most agreed with patheticmanletcel ‘s analysis, and some even endorsed his proposed course of action.
Incel dudes, just a thought: Perhaps these women don’t want to go out with you in the first place isn’t because you’re ugly but because you give off a strong “I’d love to lock you in my basement” vibe. Not a lot of women are actually into this, guys.
@Marshmallow Stacey Maximal:
Erik, the Phantom of the Opera: “Well, actually….”
(which kinda proves the point)
@Moon_custafer
The thing no one ever realizes, because they haven’t read the book, is that Erik’s home was very comfortable, in an old fashioned, bourgeois way. The incongruity is the first thing that strikes Christine when she gets there, and is one of the things that makes it possible to read the novel as a comedy, or at least a self-parody.
Yes, I saw a comment the other day on tumblr from someone who’d been reading it, to the effect of “Erik, you’ve made a pretty good life for yourself, all things considered – you’ve got a generous stipend and a reserved box at the Opera in exchange for not making trouble, an awesome Persian dude who’s friends with you, and a cosy middle-class house in an underground lake – why ruin it by stalking sopranos, you fool?!”
Penny Psmith:
I was also thinking about this logical paradox.
“If a hypothetical female falls in love with you in a forest and there’s no one around to witness it, are you still an incel?”
Yeah, thought of Ariel Castro too. A part of me would actually find it refreshing if these guys just admitted it isn’t a girlfriend they want, but somebody to dominate and control. It would save us the time of having to sift through their nonsense and spin.
@Moon_custafer
His stated reason is that he wants to be normal, and his definition of normal is having a wife he can take to church on Sundays, like normal people do.
I swear I’m not making that up.
@Rabid Rabbit; @Moon Custafer:
“It was a Phantom sewer hideout, and that means comfort.”
Go to work, go to school, get groceries, drop off drycleaning, walk the dog… All of these activities, just so they can find a better man. Foids! Foids are the worst!
@Katamount
They keep misspelling “captive”.
I’m not so sure the basement is mogproof either. They’re likely to get cucked by silverfish, or dryer lint.
@Kevin
Eek. Fluffy guinea pig, STAT!!
That title makes me think of some twisted version of If I had a Hammer
if I had a girlfriend
I’d hide her every morning
I’d hide her in the evening
Right in my basement
I’d hide her from chads
I’d hide her from alphas
I’d hide her away from
Her brothers and her sisters
Right in my basement
@Tovius: Yikes, they’ll just take this to heart! Scary poetry!
And yeah, let’s not encourage these Fritzl-ass-wannabes, they’ve got each other for that. They seriously have to be either completely unaware of how people work, or maybe very young and/or immature, which doesn’t make this shit any less scary.
@(A)utonomous Escapist:
Then we’d darn well better ensure they never come across a certain 80s song titled “If I had a rocket launcher”. That was probably somewhat disturbing in its own day. In the age of Minassian and Rodger …
(Are we going to have an open thread about the KKKavanaugh hearings? The Dems finally found their fire thanks to Harris and Booker and they’re burning this kangaroo court to the fucking ground, it’s beautiful.)
If merely viewing another man is going to make the incel’s girlfriend immediately run off after that man, then this plan is doomed from the beginning, since almost all women (I guess not blind women) have seen men before the incel and be able to remember what they look like. The only way that this gambit would make sense is if:
1) the woman was isolated from other men since birth, or
2) women lack object permanence and believe that if a man is no longer in her field of vision, he ceases to exist, or
3) the incel isn’t at all interested in maintaining the “love” of his girlfriend and thinks it’s just as good to physically prevent her from being able to leave him.
I’m betting on door #3.
I realize that the juxtaposition risks turning the bank robbery satire into something of a Funny AneurysmMoment, but this just in: there’s been a mass shooting in the Fifth Third Bank lobby at Fountain Square in Cincinnati, Ohio; the present death toll is four, including the shooter. Whether his motives are a matter for WHTM remain to be seen.
On the Phantom of the Opera: I took that as a 19th century (or very early 20th century) parable on how the ‘little women’ just weren’t cut out to be great artists, a good husband and the opportunity to wrap their lives around him is necessarily right for them. In other words Erik is a metaphorical representation of Christine’s genius but Raoul is her real destiny.
@Moon_custafer:
That just makes me think of Sewer Urchin. When the Tick and Arthur join him to battle Filth below The City, they are blown away by his lair. “Down here, I’m the apotheosis of cool,” Sewer Urchin explains.
Erik should have gone the superhero route, really.
Speaking of books and creepy men, https://www.theguardian.com/books/2018/sep/06/jd-salinger-teenage-lover-challenges-her-predator-reputation-joyce-maynard
OK, incel critters, Silence of the Lambs is not a dating tutorial, and Buffalo Bill is not a role model.
Rabid Rabbit, thanks for the link! JD did protest too much!
@Catalpa
Yeah much less terrifying prospect
I always wonder too if was a trick of my mind since is have (clinically diagnosed) paranoia.
But if it was supernatural is rather hug it and take it to dinner then be trapped with an Incel because there is a chance the demon won’t hurt me
@Fluffy Spider Returns
At least demons are bound to their word and the right incantations and symbols can keep them away or render them harmless.
SFHC,
The timeline on this thing is suspicious as fuck, isn’t it?
Kavanaugh was not on Trump’s shortlist until Mueller probe started
Kavanaugh’s debts are mysteriously paid off by friends
Kennedy retires from SCOTUS out of the blue, it’s revealed that his son has financial ties to Trump
GOP rushes confirmation hearings through before all the records on Kavanaugh are released and Grassley and the other Republicans on the judicial committee openly act as Kavanaugh’s advocate during the hearings
Kavanaugh refuses to commit to recusing himself if a case related to the Mueller investigation goes to court
Trump regime announces that he will definitely not be answering any questions from the Mueller team. Either in person or written. If they want to interview him, they’ll need a subpoena. Trump will refuse. It’ll go to the SCOTUS.
Last two items occurred tonight.
The chance of some quid pro quo going on and the chance that Grassley and Graham are in on it. Close to 100%
I really hope Mueller is going to look into this. They don’t even seem to be trying to hide the quid pro quo.
Meanwhile, the 25th amendment question is back on the table thanks to that anon NYT piece. It’s pretty obvious that if the political heat gets too great and the GOP ditches Trump, they’re going to go with declaring him incompetent over impeachment. Because impeachment hearings would reveal the depth of the entire party’s complicity in the Russia attack and cover up.
@WWTH:
If they do, I wonder how they’ll explain that it took them two years to work out he was incompetent.
And in the House, Devin Nunes is in on it as well. He’s pulled out all the stops to delay, discredit, and sabotage the Mueller investigation from the get-go.
And now there’s this NYT op-ed. I saw somewhere an article speculating that the author was Pence, based on the op-ed using the word “lodestar” and Pence having used it a few times in speeches. But I have my doubts.
1. The op-ed author chose to remain anonymous citing job security reasons. Can the President even fire the Vice President?
2. Has Pence used the word “lodestar” in spontaneous utterances, or only in planned speeches? The latter will have been written by someone else. Possibly that person is the op-ed’s author.
3. Is it remotely possible that the op-ed’s author wanted it to look like Pence, and like Pence was trying to remain anonymous?
Number three suggests an interesting possibility: a conspiracy to create a “normal” Republican administration with control of all three branches, like what they had under W but with the unreliable Justice Kennedy replaced. There would then be two conspiracies, this one and the Russian one to install Trump in the first place. The latter also forced Kennedy’s resignation (via his son, who is a higher-up at Deutsche Bank, the one implicated in a lot of the Russian money laundering that’s already sent several other trumpies to jail).
The Republican conspiracy, on the other hand, aims to “save” the US from Putin/Trump, the theocrat Pence, and the “libtards” all at the same time, first by protecting Trump until he’s given them a lock on the Supreme Court and then by sabotaging Trump by turning him and Pence against each other. Presumably they hope Trump can engineer Pence’s removal, or else the feud will goad Pence into crossing a line that enables impeachment. Once Pence is ousted they take down Trump using the 25th Amendment or impeachment and Paul Ryan, a “normal” “business-friendly” Republican, is Prez. And with a “normal” Republican in office they hope the potential blue wave dissipates and they cling onto narrow majorities in the House and Senate. Bam, a “normal” Republican administration with control of all three branches.
But the timing would be tricky: they’d have to make their move only after Trump’s second Supreme Court nominee was sufficiently advanced in the confirmations process for them to feel he was a lock, but also sufficiently in advance of the midterms as to avoid the blue wave … or at the very least get Ryan up to at least veep before it happened. Wrong timing on their part might leave the Supreme Court 4-4 or, on the other hand, make someone like Nancy Pelosi President.
Option two: the only conspiracy is the (poorly-concealed) Russian one, and they are acting with the intent to diminish the influence of “normal” Republicans on Trump, and to weaken or remove Pence, who they might not trust. (And to intelligence community folks, like the KGB and ex-KGB types running the Russian conspiracy, someone you can’t control is someone you don’t trust. So the translation here is, they have leverage on Trump but not Pence. Too straightlaced a Christian conservative to have fallen into their honey trap I suppose.)
Option three: the op-ed isn’t the result of any conspiracy beyond the one the op-ed itself cops to. Some of the more sober, businesslike Republican old guard have been acting to limit Trump’s influence, but recently Trump has increasingly been ousting people he suspects of being disloyal and acting more and more unilaterally, so one of them felt that strategy was no longer working and has gone public with the whole thing in the hope to stir up some kind of response, be it wider Republican resistance to Trump in the administration or an uprising by Republican voters to replace Trump kowtowers in the House and Senate with ones who will legislatively limit Trump to enacting a “normal” Republican agenda.
Option four: the op-ed is a Democratic Party psy-op intended to further fracture and damage the Republicans in the run-up to the midterms by creating a mole hunt in the West Wing that will, in the absence of a genuine mole, turn into a divisive and fruitless witch hunt in short order. (Not that it won’t eventually anyway, given how the right is these days.)