Categories
alpha males chad thundercock empathy deficit entitled babies incels irony alert men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny

If I had a girlfriend, I’d keep her locked up so she’d never encounter any other guys, Incel fantasizes

Note to incels: Women generally don’t like being locked up very much

By David Futrelle

On the reliably dreadful Incels.me forums, some of the regulars are once again reminding us why it’s a good thing that most of these guys aren’t dating any actual human women, suggesting that if they were lucky enough to find girlfriends for themselves they’d never let these lucky women out of the house lest they happen to meet a more handsome man.

Someone calling himself  patheticmanletcel starts off the thread with this confession:

 Inceldom Discussion [Serious] If i had a girlfriend i would to stay inside with her forever Thread starterpatheticmanletcel Start dateThursday at 11:42 AM patheticmanletcel Captain - Thursday at 11:42 AM#1 Serious i would never want to go outside, getting mogged and humiliated in front of my girlfriend would be too much, i would want to be isolated from the world with her, just us no one else, no internet no tv

Sounds like quite a treat for her!

(And by the way, “mogged” is PUA/incel slang for “out-alphaed by another guy.”)

While there were a few dissenters in the thread, most agreed with patheticmanletcel ‘s analysis, and some even endorsed his proposed course of action.

I was thinking the same as you. If by miracle I ever had a gf, I would not need to go outside anymore. But sadly, foids adore to go outside, visit new places, encounter new people. IT WAS OVER FOR US BEFORE IT EVEN STARTED

Bjrgaminggod I'm not human, never was, never will be. - Thursday at 11:43 AM#3 if she goes outside all it takes is seeing a 7/10+ up and she does not love you anymore

Unwanted Veteran - Thursday at 3:19 PM#13 I'd lock her inside my basement tbh.

Incel dudes, just a thought: Perhaps these women don’t want to go out with you in the first place isn’t because you’re ugly but because you give off a strong “I’d love to lock you in my basement” vibe. Not a lot of women are actually into this, guys.

Subscribe
Notify of
guest

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

62 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Ooglyboggles
Ooglyboggles
2 years ago

Gets the taser

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

Add in that “A10n3” almost certainly means “Apocalypse Now”, and probably means that one is yet another “can’t wait for the end so I can apply my m4d Fallout 4 sk1llz in the real world and totally pwn all the things (women included) as a badass warlord!”

It almost makes you long for an actual apocalypse to watch these guys starve in isolation while cooperative communities full of fat people survive and rebuild…until you consider how much suffering would occur for people who aren’t complete d-bags, and also how closely we might actually be teetering on that precipice with the Cheeto Benito having the nuclear briefcase, climate change running rampant, and the economy lurching along like some sort of debt-driven zombie that will faceplant the moment interest rates go up above the inflation rate.

Bina
2 years ago

These guys, with their dumbass lingo and their egotism and insecurities all hanging out all over the place, are the authors of their own misfortune. As long as they retain these attitudes, and this idea that you have to imprison a person in order to “keep” her, they’re not going to get any. Even the loneliest, most desperate woman isn’t going to want them, purely on account of that. Nobody cares about their wrist size, their height, or the angle of their eyeballs, or how well they alpha (as a verb, not a Greek letter). It’s their attitude, this idea that women are possessions and not people, that’s going to get them shitcanned every single time.

Hey incels, you want to stop being incels? STOP HANGING OUT IN INCEL SPACES. Get out more. Do what you’re afraid your (hypothetical) girlfriends will do on you, and actually associate with people in a normal, non-condescending, non-hateful manner. You might be surprised how much better that works than keeping someone under lock and key like Ariel Castro did.

Red_Periloz
Red_Periloz
2 years ago

The key word is clearly “if” here and I’m not sure if that makes it all the more horrifying or potentially less so…

Kobun37
Kobun37
2 years ago

Reminds me of Gollum hiding under the mountain with the one ring.

No, this is worse. At least Gollum was fixated on an inanimate object (yeah, I know the ring was autonomous to an extent, but I don’t remember Gollum knowing that) and not another person.

Freemage
Freemage
2 years ago

So, in addition to their other fantasies, these guys think Peter Pumpkin-Eater is a role model. Got it.

Diptych
Diptych
2 years ago

No-one ever does anything because they want to in these reactionaries’ worldviews, do they? No-one ever spends time with someone because they like them; no-one says anything because they believe it; no-one is ever actually happy. What everyone else sees as society as usual, they see as a war of each against all, and their only ideology is that they need to win more.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Room recently came on Netflix. Not The Room, the movie with Tommy Wiseau. The movie with Brie Larson that’s actually good. Anyway, I think this incel saw that movie and took a really wrong thing away from it.

Fluffy Spider Returns
Fluffy Spider Returns
2 years ago

Probably off topic
I once got locked in my basement by a faulty door
Made worse by this growling and scratching sound that I’m still wondering what it was

Diptych
Diptych
2 years ago

I just realised that I don’t think I’ve ever actually been in a residential basement. Houses here don’t tend to have them, unless you count the kind built on sloping ground, where a floor might technically be a “basement” but still have floor-to-ceiling windows and a door directly to the yard. One or another cellars might have slipped my mind, but I’ve been below ground level in actual caves more often than I have in houses, by, like, an order of magnitude.

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

@Fluffy Spider

o.e It sounds like your basement/house is haunted, or possibly possessed.

… And I’m just now realizing that the idea of being locked in a basement by a supernatural entity is a far less terrifying prospect than being locked in by an incel. Brr.

Meteor
2 years ago

They never stop getting weirder.

calmdown
calmdown
2 years ago

If you hate going outside, talking to other humans, and going places, then yeah, you are going to have trouble finding a partner. You can’t get a girlfriend without meeting at least one new person. They really do seem to believe that one can be delivered to their doorstep somehow…

Penny Psmith
Penny Psmith
2 years ago

Another odd thing:
That guy that thinks that the moment his hypothetical girlfriend sees a “7/10” or higher guy she will immediately stop loving him and go for that guy – does he think that she has never seen any other guy ever? I mean, these guys tend to think of themselves as the lowest of the low, on their imaginary scale that they think everyone else adheres to, so if women are so fickle that it’s enough to see someone higher up the scale “and she does not love you anymore”, then how did she ever love him to begin with?
Make up your mind, dude. Is that imaginary scale everything, or isn’t it?

[Another option is that he would like to somehow have groomed the intended girlfriend from infancy, without her having seen any other man ever. While that is an option that I think appears in a couple of folk tales (but tends to not work there, because the man doing the grooming is always the bad guy, not the protagonist) and also fits quite well within the incel worldview, I still don’t believe that’s what he was thinking of.]

TreePerson
TreePerson
2 years ago

And once again incels prove themselves to be the bad guy in a psychological-horror movie.

In unrelated news I started playing BattleTech (the HBS/Paradox game) and I am simply delighted that you choose your characters pronouns instead of sex and one of the options was “they”.

Kevin
Kevin
2 years ago

Incels, oh dear. Straight out of the Ariel Castro/Joseph Fritzl/The Collector playbook. ‘Livin’ Doll’ isn’t to be taken literally guys…

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
2 years ago

“Boxing Helena” was a bad movie and you should not take relationship advice from it!

zesty
zesty
2 years ago

I love how they say that “foids” adore to go outside, see new places, meet new people as though that’s a bad thing.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

Given how young most of these incels are, they’re going to need their parents’ or landlords’ permission to hold somebody hostage in the basement.

@WWTH I’m also lovin’ this:

https://slate.com/culture/2018/09/i-am-part-of-the-police-department-inside-this-bank-robbery.html

Newt
Newt
2 years ago

I love how they say that “foids” adore to go outside, see new places, meet new people as though that’s a bad thing.

Outrageous, isn’t it? One of those “foids” even started a supportive community for people having difficulty meeting anyone:

The woman who founded the ‘incel’ movement

Kevin
Kevin
2 years ago

@ Buttercup Q Skullpants

After thinking about incels, their relationships with their mothers, and basements (Norman Bates comes to mind) – I think I need a brain bleach.

Marshmallow Stacey Maximal (formerly bluecat)
Marshmallow Stacey Maximal (formerly bluecat)
2 years ago

I read this in between taking tour groups down into an undercroft that dates back to the 1450s and goes two floors below current street level. Like Ankh-Morpork, a lot of what my city is built on is older bits of the city. It’s interesting down there, but nobody’s idea of a love nest.

My extremely sexist upbringing taught my brothers that if a woman had sex with them, it could only be because she’d have sex with absolutely anyone (and me that equal worst things in life were if men wanted to have sex with me, and if they didn’t).

These guys have taken that a step further on both counts.

Iseult The Idle
Iseult The Idle
2 years ago

Add in that “A10n3” almost certainly means “Apocalypse Now”

I thought it just spelled “alone”. Could be two things, of course.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
2 years ago

I see I’m not the only one who immediately thought of Ariel Castro. Ugh.

Thinking some entrapment in the style of “To Catch a Predator” might be warranted here. These guys are ticking time bombs, and need to be contained before they go off.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
2 years ago

@Marshmallow Stacey Maximal:

It’s interesting down there, but nobody’s idea of a love nest.

Erik, the Phantom of the Opera: “Well, actually….”

(which kinda proves the point)

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

@Moon_custafer

The thing no one ever realizes, because they haven’t read the book, is that Erik’s home was very comfortable, in an old fashioned, bourgeois way. The incongruity is the first thing that strikes Christine when she gets there, and is one of the things that makes it possible to read the novel as a comedy, or at least a self-parody.

Moon_custafer
Moon_custafer
2 years ago

Yes, I saw a comment the other day on tumblr from someone who’d been reading it, to the effect of “Erik, you’ve made a pretty good life for yourself, all things considered – you’ve got a generous stipend and a reserved box at the Opera in exchange for not making trouble, an awesome Persian dude who’s friends with you, and a cosy middle-class house in an underground lake – why ruin it by stalking sopranos, you fool?!”

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Penny Psmith:

That guy that thinks that the moment his hypothetical girlfriend sees a “7/10” or higher guy she will immediately stop loving him and go for that guy – does he think that she has never seen any other guy ever? I mean, these guys tend to think of themselves as the lowest of the low, on their imaginary scale that they think everyone else adheres to, so if women are so fickle that it’s enough to see someone higher up the scale “and she does not love you anymore”, then how did she ever love him to begin with?

I was also thinking about this logical paradox.

“If a hypothetical female falls in love with you in a forest and there’s no one around to witness it, are you still an incel?”

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

Yeah, thought of Ariel Castro too. A part of me would actually find it refreshing if these guys just admitted it isn’t a girlfriend they want, but somebody to dominate and control. It would save us the time of having to sift through their nonsense and spin.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

@Moon_custafer

His stated reason is that he wants to be normal, and his definition of normal is having a wife he can take to church on Sundays, like normal people do.

I swear I’m not making that up.

Full Metal Ox
2 years ago

@Rabid Rabbit; @Moon Custafer:

“It was a Phantom sewer hideout, and that means comfort.”

Viscaria
Viscaria
2 years ago

But sadly, foids adore to go outside, visit new places, encounter new people.

Go to work, go to school, get groceries, drop off drycleaning, walk the dog… All of these activities, just so they can find a better man. Foids! Foids are the worst!

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

@Katamount

A part of me would actually find it refreshing if these guys just admitted it isn’t a girlfriend they want, but somebody to dominate and control.

They keep misspelling “captive”.

I’m not so sure the basement is mogproof either. They’re likely to get cucked by silverfish, or dryer lint.

@Kevin

Eek. Fluffy guinea pig, STAT!!

comment image

Tovius
Tovius
2 years ago

That title makes me think of some twisted version of If I had a Hammer

if I had a girlfriend
I’d hide her every morning
I’d hide her in the evening
Right in my basement
I’d hide her from chads
I’d hide her from alphas
I’d hide her away from
Her brothers and her sisters
Right in my basement

(A)utonomous Escapist
(A)utonomous Escapist
2 years ago

@Tovius: Yikes, they’ll just take this to heart! Scary poetry!

And yeah, let’s not encourage these Fritzl-ass-wannabes, they’ve got each other for that. They seriously have to be either completely unaware of how people work, or maybe very young and/or immature, which doesn’t make this shit any less scary.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

@(A)utonomous Escapist:

Then we’d darn well better ensure they never come across a certain 80s song titled “If I had a rocket launcher”. That was probably somewhat disturbing in its own day. In the age of Minassian and Rodger …

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
2 years ago

(Are we going to have an open thread about the KKKavanaugh hearings? The Dems finally found their fire thanks to Harris and Booker and they’re burning this kangaroo court to the fucking ground, it’s beautiful.)

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

If merely viewing another man is going to make the incel’s girlfriend immediately run off after that man, then this plan is doomed from the beginning, since almost all women (I guess not blind women) have seen men before the incel and be able to remember what they look like. The only way that this gambit would make sense is if:
1) the woman was isolated from other men since birth, or
2) women lack object permanence and believe that if a man is no longer in her field of vision, he ceases to exist, or
3) the incel isn’t at all interested in maintaining the “love” of his girlfriend and thinks it’s just as good to physically prevent her from being able to leave him.

I’m betting on door #3.

Full Metal Ox
2 years ago

I realize that the juxtaposition risks turning the bank robbery satire into something of a Funny AneurysmMoment, but this just in: there’s been a mass shooting in the Fifth Third Bank lobby at Fountain Square in Cincinnati, Ohio; the present death toll is four, including the shooter. Whether his motives are a matter for WHTM remain to be seen.

Pen
Pen
2 years ago

On the Phantom of the Opera: I took that as a 19th century (or very early 20th century) parable on how the ‘little women’ just weren’t cut out to be great artists, a good husband and the opportunity to wrap their lives around him is necessarily right for them. In other words Erik is a metaphorical representation of Christine’s genius but Raoul is her real destiny.

solecism
solecism
2 years ago

@Moon_custafer:

Yes, I saw a comment the other day on tumblr from someone who’d been reading it, to the effect of “Erik, you’ve made a pretty good life for yourself, all things considered – you’ve got a generous stipend and a reserved box at the Opera in exchange for not making trouble, an awesome Persian dude who’s friends with you, and a cosy middle-class house in an underground lake – why ruin it by stalking sopranos, you fool?!”

That just makes me think of Sewer Urchin. When the Tick and Arthur join him to battle Filth below The City, they are blown away by his lair. “Down here, I’m the apotheosis of cool,” Sewer Urchin explains.

Erik should have gone the superhero route, really.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
2 years ago

OK, incel critters, Silence of the Lambs is not a dating tutorial, and Buffalo Bill is not a role model.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
2 years ago

Rabid Rabbit, thanks for the link! JD did protest too much!

Fluffy Spider Returns
Fluffy Spider Returns
2 years ago

@Catalpa
Yeah much less terrifying prospect
I always wonder too if was a trick of my mind since is have (clinically diagnosed) paranoia.
But if it was supernatural is rather hug it and take it to dinner then be trapped with an Incel because there is a chance the demon won’t hurt me

TreePerson
TreePerson
2 years ago

@Fluffy Spider Returns

At least demons are bound to their word and the right incantations and symbols can keep them away or render them harmless.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

SFHC,

The timeline on this thing is suspicious as fuck, isn’t it?

Kavanaugh was not on Trump’s shortlist until Mueller probe started

Kavanaugh’s debts are mysteriously paid off by friends

Kennedy retires from SCOTUS out of the blue, it’s revealed that his son has financial ties to Trump

GOP rushes confirmation hearings through before all the records on Kavanaugh are released and Grassley and the other Republicans on the judicial committee openly act as Kavanaugh’s advocate during the hearings

Kavanaugh refuses to commit to recusing himself if a case related to the Mueller investigation goes to court

Trump regime announces that he will definitely not be answering any questions from the Mueller team. Either in person or written. If they want to interview him, they’ll need a subpoena. Trump will refuse. It’ll go to the SCOTUS.

Last two items occurred tonight.

The chance of some quid pro quo going on and the chance that Grassley and Graham are in on it. Close to 100%

I really hope Mueller is going to look into this. They don’t even seem to be trying to hide the quid pro quo.

Meanwhile, the 25th amendment question is back on the table thanks to that anon NYT piece. It’s pretty obvious that if the political heat gets too great and the GOP ditches Trump, they’re going to go with declaring him incompetent over impeachment. Because impeachment hearings would reveal the depth of the entire party’s complicity in the Russia attack and cover up.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

@WWTH:

If they do, I wonder how they’ll explain that it took them two years to work out he was incompetent.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

And in the House, Devin Nunes is in on it as well. He’s pulled out all the stops to delay, discredit, and sabotage the Mueller investigation from the get-go.

And now there’s this NYT op-ed. I saw somewhere an article speculating that the author was Pence, based on the op-ed using the word “lodestar” and Pence having used it a few times in speeches. But I have my doubts.

1. The op-ed author chose to remain anonymous citing job security reasons. Can the President even fire the Vice President?

2. Has Pence used the word “lodestar” in spontaneous utterances, or only in planned speeches? The latter will have been written by someone else. Possibly that person is the op-ed’s author.

3. Is it remotely possible that the op-ed’s author wanted it to look like Pence, and like Pence was trying to remain anonymous?

Number three suggests an interesting possibility: a conspiracy to create a “normal” Republican administration with control of all three branches, like what they had under W but with the unreliable Justice Kennedy replaced. There would then be two conspiracies, this one and the Russian one to install Trump in the first place. The latter also forced Kennedy’s resignation (via his son, who is a higher-up at Deutsche Bank, the one implicated in a lot of the Russian money laundering that’s already sent several other trumpies to jail).

The Republican conspiracy, on the other hand, aims to “save” the US from Putin/Trump, the theocrat Pence, and the “libtards” all at the same time, first by protecting Trump until he’s given them a lock on the Supreme Court and then by sabotaging Trump by turning him and Pence against each other. Presumably they hope Trump can engineer Pence’s removal, or else the feud will goad Pence into crossing a line that enables impeachment. Once Pence is ousted they take down Trump using the 25th Amendment or impeachment and Paul Ryan, a “normal” “business-friendly” Republican, is Prez. And with a “normal” Republican in office they hope the potential blue wave dissipates and they cling onto narrow majorities in the House and Senate. Bam, a “normal” Republican administration with control of all three branches.

But the timing would be tricky: they’d have to make their move only after Trump’s second Supreme Court nominee was sufficiently advanced in the confirmations process for them to feel he was a lock, but also sufficiently in advance of the midterms as to avoid the blue wave … or at the very least get Ryan up to at least veep before it happened. Wrong timing on their part might leave the Supreme Court 4-4 or, on the other hand, make someone like Nancy Pelosi President.

Option two: the only conspiracy is the (poorly-concealed) Russian one, and they are acting with the intent to diminish the influence of “normal” Republicans on Trump, and to weaken or remove Pence, who they might not trust. (And to intelligence community folks, like the KGB and ex-KGB types running the Russian conspiracy, someone you can’t control is someone you don’t trust. So the translation here is, they have leverage on Trump but not Pence. Too straightlaced a Christian conservative to have fallen into their honey trap I suppose.)

Option three: the op-ed isn’t the result of any conspiracy beyond the one the op-ed itself cops to. Some of the more sober, businesslike Republican old guard have been acting to limit Trump’s influence, but recently Trump has increasingly been ousting people he suspects of being disloyal and acting more and more unilaterally, so one of them felt that strategy was no longer working and has gone public with the whole thing in the hope to stir up some kind of response, be it wider Republican resistance to Trump in the administration or an uprising by Republican voters to replace Trump kowtowers in the House and Senate with ones who will legislatively limit Trump to enacting a “normal” Republican agenda.

Option four: the op-ed is a Democratic Party psy-op intended to further fracture and damage the Republicans in the run-up to the midterms by creating a mole hunt in the West Wing that will, in the absence of a genuine mole, turn into a divisive and fruitless witch hunt in short order. (Not that it won’t eventually anyway, given how the right is these days.)