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doggoes jordan "slappy" peterson misogyny PUA twitter

Worst. Pickup. Line. Ever. (Courtesy of Jordan Peterson)

Ewww

By David Futrelle

Well, this little joke went over well on Twitter so I thought I’d post it here too.

Here’s one that didn’t go over quite as well. But it might just come to haunt your dreams.

Some good-ass tweets by people who aren’t me:

https://twitter.com/maddc8/status/1029184821329833986

https://twitter.com/BoringEnormous/status/1028321380213907458

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Jane Done
Jane Done
6 years ago

Thank you, that is exactly the stefan molyneux meme I needed.

Side note, isn’t peterson the type that believes women are “biologically” disposed to being attracted to supposedly shallow qualities like wealth, power, looks, etc? He’s an incel hero so I assume it’s totally unlike him to assume women are attracted to personality/intelligence. Or does it just change every day of the week?

Bakunin
Bakunin
6 years ago

In other Slappy news, Michael Shermer has continued proving what a shit he is by running some fluff pieces on Jordie P in Skeptic Magazine. Not sure who’s reputation is more tainted by this.

KindaSortaHarmless
KindaSortaHarmless
6 years ago

I’m a little bit worried about what will happen now that Peterson has just insulted the semen quality of his fanbase… 😛

Tovius
6 years ago

Anyone else read that ice machine sign as “noice”?

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
6 years ago

Unfair! to the dog.

Because dogs can’t speak up for themselves, I will. Canines are known for their loyalty, ability to put aside their own preferences in favor of the needs of the group, good looks, charm, and smarts. Do these traits sound like Trump’s!

Dogs are humanity’s best friend.

Trumps (yeah, almost the whole family–the jury’s still out on the younger ones) are the scourge of humanity.

Grr.

epitome of incomprehensibility

@Tovius – Me too! I was thinking “noice? how is saying ‘nice’ like that ‘radical’?” before I got the ice/I.C.E. thing.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
6 years ago

I agree with Kat that that horrible man’s head should not be pasted on that lovely dog’s body.

Bina
6 years ago

Anyone else read that ice machine sign as “noice”?

Yup. Even said it out loud. It sounded…noice!

Also, why DO so many far-right men look like they’re either constipated or pooping their pants all the time? Do they need to be reminded to eat a balanced diet?

msexceptiontotherule
msexceptiontotherule
6 years ago

They don’t like being forced to take medicine for their diarrhea by their mother (see: Paul Elam), so it seems reasonable to assume that they would also hate being reminded to eat a balanced diet, green vegetables, ‘roughage’, etc.

Peterson can go take a nice long walk on some legos, barefoot of course, to get the full effect of all the sharp pointy edges.

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
6 years ago

Definitely read noice. Thought McDonalds was bragging about their fountain drink selection

Also can’t believe we haven’t heard of a buncha Republicans going out in droves and eating nothing but McDonalds for a month to glorify the führer/own the libs

Also also, abolish ICE

Nequam
Nequam
6 years ago

@Bakunin Really a shame about Shermer. I still think his essay on where Objectivism went wrong (“The Unlikeliest Cult in History”) is excellent.

occasional reader
occasional reader
6 years ago

Hello.

Hmm, intelligence and semen quality… While i can understand that you have to listen to someone to somewhat evaluate this person intelligence, i am not sure anybody can hear the belling of the semen the night in the deepness of the wood.

Out of topic : maybe you remember that some weeks ago, there have been a discussion here about a… “realistic” game called, without absolutely any pretention, Super Seducer (brought to you by a supposed master PUA called De La Rosa, who is to sentimental relation realism what Don Diego De La Vega is to Mexican history).
Well, i am sure you are going to be thrilled to learn that a second opus is close to be released ! Originally titled Super Seducer 2, this one will pursue the teaching of the way of bees and flowers initialized by its elder. With all the… em… “quality” that had made its proofs in the older.
I did not read all the topics this “game” is going to cover, but some might be quite… interesting :
– there will be a part where you (assuming you are a man playing it, as i do not see why a woman would inflict herself this – except to have a good laugh or chicken skin -) play as a woman in order to understand how women think when seduction is on the treshold – and that would be, without doubt, super accurate and absolutely not a male point of view and expectation on how women should think when you try to hit on them, like, i am pretty sure, women all see men in term of market sex value (or whatever the term is, i forgot, sorry) and give them mentally or between themselves score like HC7 or HC9 (Hot Chad, of course. Could have been HD for Hot Dog, but it can be confusing, when you are hungry. AM was also on the track, but someone retorted that Alpha Male is always 10, so that can not be pondered. Whatever).
– there will also a part where you play… a “foreigner” (from memory, a british man with chinese origin part) ! How exotic ! A part which will be totally out of any clichés and stereotypes, for sure. And which also may gather some hate from whitepowerers, as this foreigner will try to seduce a white woman (as i did not see any WOC in the released pictures of the game. But maybe i am wrong) ! I hope Super Seducer 3 (why stop while in such a good run) will have a part on how to seduce shy and obedient asian women (as they are all, it is well known). But not black women, cause they are often too strong minded. And black.

I can not put the link to the Steam page of the game, as i am not at home, but i am sure you can easily find it.

Have a nice day.

(NB : this post contains sarcasms. I specify that, in case of it is not clear)

Moggie
Moggie
6 years ago

In my head, I heard that Peterson line in the style of a stereotypical Marine drill instructor (think Full Metal Jacket). It sounds more effective than Peterson’s “peevish Kermit” effect.

ChimericMind
ChimericMind
6 years ago

When Stephen Colbert introduced a clip by Tucker Carlson, he named him “Fox News Anchor and Boy Watching His First Video On Where Babies Come From.” He actually corpsed a bit after that, from looking at Carlson’s picture and knowing it was just too spot-on.

reggie, the neighbour's cat
reggie, the neighbour's cat
6 years ago

Also referring to women as girls despite the fact he has adult children is gross.

rugbyyogi
rugbyyogi
6 years ago

Intelligence and semen quality – works for me!

OT – I’m having some major issues with my cat. She has always pooped outside. But now neighbours have cats who are terrorising her and she has taken to pooping on my gorgeous hand-knotted Persian rug. Setting up a litter tray has not worked. She has pooped once in it and then not again.

My house is now on the market and I want it cat poop free for viewings.

I also just don’t want cat poop in my house. My step son trod in a little present she’d left this morning with bare feet, it was a fairly traumatic morning!

I know that this is all related to the thug cats next door who come in my garden and sometimes come in my house and beat up on my poor 13 yo tiny kitty. But I’m losing it with the pooping.

Any advice from fellow kitty wranglers?

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

@ rugbyyogi

Any advice from fellow kitty wranglers?

You could try the lion poo thing round the boundaries. That might deter any feline intruders. You may have to experiment to ensure it doesn’t put your own kitty off going outdoors.

http://www.silentroaronline.com

Yutolia the Green Hash Thing
Yutolia the Green Hash Thing
6 years ago

Alan, do you know if deters other animals? My mom has tons of bird feeders and loves watching the enormous variety of birds that come hang out, but just recently several cats have moved to the neighborhood. The cats are being fed at home while also being allowed to roam the neighborhood, so they are killing out of boredom with abandon. Unfortunately, letting your cats roam is legal here, even though it’s a huge danger to both wildlife and the cats. I would love to help her keep the cats out, but I would worry the birds wouldn’t like this smell either.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
6 years ago

@ yutolia

I’ve heard people using it for foxes. I must confess I’m unfamiliar with its effects on wildlife generally. I can see how cats will just have an innate sense of ‘bigger cat’; but would it only work on animals who recognise it as predator spoor? Birds might not be bothered anyway; I can’t imagine they have a lot of negative interactions with lions.

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
6 years ago

@rugbyyogi

I sympathise. My boy (size of a good-sized terrier, but personality of a nervous Victorian maiden aunt) is currently being terrorised by the cat next door who comes and sits on the windowsill and makes faces at him through the glass. He is spraying on the wall under the window out of fear

I’d suggest a water pistol. Doesn’t hurt cats, but it doesn’t take them long to learn the association between “that house” and “sudden jet of cold water”.

Also, I’d suggest taking up your Persian rug until she is more settled. Once something smells like “this is where I go”, it is toilet forever.

Also, Feliway plug ins. They work a treat on my boy’s nerves.

Yutolia the Green Hash Thing
Yutolia the Green Hash Thing
6 years ago

Dude, keep your damn semen to yourself! Whatever quality you think it is!!!

Yutolia the Green Hash Thing
Yutolia the Green Hash Thing
6 years ago

Thanks for responding Alan. Maybe we’ll try it out regardless. We really just want to keep the cats out while not doing them any harm.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

@rubyyogi – Cats hate walking on chicken wire. You could try temporarily laying some down around the boundaries of your yard.

Can the rug be put away while you’re showing your house, to make detection and clean up easier, interrupt the habit, and save your rug?

Re: McDonald’s, I read the sign as “NOICE” also. And I heard Yanney.

As for intelligence and semen quality, why are reactionary men so freaking obsessed with their own spunk? They talk endlessly about its preciousness, and compare it with gold. How it alters women forever. How women are always going to great lengths to steal it. How it builds civilizations and starts wars. You never hear anyone arguing that snot has totemic powers, or that earwax contains the key to the entire universe.

Of course, that only applies to their sperm. Other men’s sperm is disgusting and instantly transforms women into used-up sluts.

I mean, sure, sperm has the potential to create another human being, and in that sense it’s special, but putting it on a pedestal? I’ve never heard women wax philosophical about their eggs the way these guys do their sperm. I also know, from sitting in many a fertility clinic waiting room, that there’s zero correlation between youth and egg quality, looks and egg quality, and intelligence and egg quality. Ditto for sperm quality. There are no external tea leaves that predict someone’s ability to make babies.

They way overestimate how much women even care. Not everybody wants kids. Not everybody reduces people to reproductive parts. You know how RedPillers are always saying “you can’t fuck a diploma”? Well, sperm doesn’t help do the dishes, binge-watch Netflix with you, or rub your shoulders when you’ve had a bad day.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
6 years ago

On second thought, rubyyogi, chicken wire would be a pain to keep taking up and putting down if you’re showing your house. Scratch that! Coyote urine might work better.

Mikey
Mikey
6 years ago

I discovered I was super fertile when going through IVF; so much so I scratched an egg at the start when it punched in then punched through. I was in fact almost too fertile for the process (which worked).

But you’re right, how do you work that into a convo? “Bee tee dubs, ladies, I’m super fertile.” (Makes shooting finger, points then says “click, click”).

Does that work? Ladies?

Alas the link he promoted in ’12 is lost to the ages. No content there.

That seems appropriate.

In my case I’m smart but it’s a sample size of one … but it’s a big sample!

How about that? Does that work?

This dilemma reminds me of this article from The Onion:

https://www.theonion.com/ugly-man-with-huge-penis-unsure-how-to-get-the-word-out-1819566240

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