By David Futrelle
Today, someone posted a picture of the world’s oldest wombat to the Braincels subreddit under the headline “It’s over for wombatcels.” Because, you see, the world’s oldest wombat also happens to be a virgin, making him also the world’s oldest wombat incel.
While most of the commenters made jokes, one fellow was strangely heartened by Patrick the Wombat’s inability to score.
![DFWAggie 15 points 5 hours ago I'm not sure if this is cope, but I honestly enjoy knowing that many animals die virgins. Strange, but it gives me a sense of inner peace. permalinkembedsavereportgive goldreply [–]Nightstalkerr_ 11 points 4 hours ago Nah bro their brains are wired differently they don’t need sex, and it’s not as important as it is to humans. So yeah this is cope bro](https://i0.wp.com/www.wehuntedthemammoth.com/wp-content/uploads/2018/08/cf7r8tf9yg708h-9.png?resize=508%2C545&ssl=1)
“Cope,” by the way, is how so-called incels describe strategies they come up with to, well, cope with their bitterness about their ongoing celibacy; incels, being the perversely miserable sorts that they are, look down their noses at it, preferring instead to wallow in their own largely self-made misery.
But you know what, DFWAggie? Taking comfort from a wombat’s virginity might be a little weird, but hey, if it helps to cut through the bitterness and to remind you that unwanted celibacy, while unfortunate, isn’t actually the end of the world, go ahead and indulge this particular cope all you want. “Cope” is good.
How to answer that without violating the comment policy or getting a visit from secret service?
In all seriousness though, I don’t think Trump’s hold on the right will lessen unless he is jailed. It’s enough to vote him out in 2020. It’s not enough to impeach and remove him from office.
People have likened Trumpism to a cult. I think there’s a lot of truth to that. As long as Trump can speak to the masses, he’ll keep his base brainwashed. He must have access to all media platforms removed.
As an example, Charles Manson still has his fans, but the actual brainwashed hold he had over his family members dissipated quickly after he was convicted and imprisoned. IIIRC, all of the convicted family members deconverted. Some of his outside family remained loyal. But that faded too.
I have low confidence that Trump will be jailed. I’m just glad he’s pretty old and none of his kids inherited his talent for demagogary. There’s only so long he can remain in public life. But how much damage will he do before dying of old age? A lot. And the longer he stays alive and free to spread his propaganda, the harder it’s going to be to deprogram his cult members.
The Maslow pyramid is a good example of the aphorism ‘all models are false, some models are useful’. My favorite description of the MBTI is ‘newspaper astrology for people who think they’re too intelligent for newspaper astrology’.
OT: today’s Oglaf concerns a topic of interest to Mammotheers. I don’t want to spoil the surprise.
@Catalpa
Anglerfish take the cake! The males are little blobs that attach to the big fully-autonomous-critter female and sort of melt into her….becoming basically a mindless wart that gets her pregnant.
Critters are weird.
**********
@reggie, the neighbour’s cat
Noooooooooooooooo!
Well; He’ll be adorable in Wombat-Heaven.
**********
@Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Well; For a start, be sure to VOTE BLUE this November. A Blue Wave would certainly neuter much of Chump’s antics and bring about impeachment.
@Spukikitty
Yeah, there are all manner of weird ways of getting jiggy with it in the animal kingdom. It’s pretty fascinating stuff! I just posted a few on this thread. that might work for incels to “cope” with, since they’re species where a fair amount die virgins (because any cause of death aside from dying from mating results in a dead virgin critter). Didn’t include anglerfish because I’m not sure if the mated males can strictly be considered “dead” or not. They sure are freaky things, though .
Unfortunately, Surplus (and me) are Canadians and we don’t get to vote to try to stop cheeto Hitler from doing more damage. (And we’ve got our own miniature Dump to try to deal with, now, on top of that.)
@Robert:
What’s an oglaf?
@ Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
https://www.oglaf.com/
Generally NSFW but the newest story is… mostly.
Thank you, Malitia!
The deep sea anglerfish parasitic male phenomenon is indeed remarkable. It’s one of those biological facts that I would like to hear an Intelligent Design proponent try to explain. If I had had the math chops for a natural science major in college, I think I would have studied parasites; they’re utterly fascinating.
@WWTH: Did you mean to say that being voted out WOULDN’T be enough, but being impeached (and presumably jailed) would be? Because otherwise it doesn’t seem to mesh with the rest of your post.
@Surplus: Oglaf is…well, follow the link. It has bizarrely intelligent strips (more so in the last few years than the beginning) with frequent full-frontal nudity. Today’s epic (most panels posted at once I’ve ever seen in a webcomic) would seem semi-SFW on a casual glance, until you notice that the barbarian main character is not at all wearing underwear, even when he’s in a short dress. For the record, said barbarian belongs to such an intensely misogynistic tribe that they actually reproduce entirely through gay sex, in a hilarious send-up to homophobic MGTOWs.
Being jailed would be enough. Being removed from office but not jailed would not be enough. If he was removed from office he’d still be all over TV and all over Twitter. He’d still have just as much influence over his cult.
I never knew wombats were that big either. Looks like a hedgehog of course unusual size but cuter.
Who in the world ever thought about whether an animal was a virgin or not? I say this as practically my own private rescue facility of traumatized cats. I’ve had a lot of cats spayed and neutered over the years. Sometimes I’ve been sorry to do it, but I’ve never thought about the virginity aspect. More cruel, IMO, is to not spat and let them suffer through their heats without getting out the door.
I have one female, very traumatized still after eight years in the house. She will get occasional love from me if I’m alone in the house but hides if anyone else is home and freaks out if I bring a carrier inside. She is the one cat I’ve never had spayed. All the males are neutered and she wouldn’t go outside on a bet. I feel mildly guilty about this because her heats seem a frustrating time for her. And the males try, but then get frustrated and irritated when they can’t get the job done. I honestly worry about how traumatizing an overnight trip to the vet would be. She truly is the worst case of animal abuse and trauma I ever personally rescued. Now that she is middle aged her heats have decreased.
Which brings me to the idea that the “need” for sex can vary over the lifespan. I would consider myself no longer needing sex and I haven’t for a long time. How much does illness have to do with that? Some, but not entirely. I’d honestly be happy with a bestie and a small circle of good friends.
Because what most people do need is genuine love and friendship and affection. Whatever form this takes, we need to be seen and understood and known. People often seem to think that sex is the panacea for all social needs. It isn’t.
An example. There has been repeated discussion about putting radioactive spheres in my liver to combat tumor growth. I’ve avoided this so far because a) it involves permanently blocking blood vessels from the liver and b) I’ve had the chemotherapeutic version of this multiple times and was septic afterwards. This does have a point, I promise. Anyway, when it was under serious discussion the doc told me that I would have to stay a certain number of feet away from people for a number of days until the half life did its thing.
What about affection I asked?
The doctor assumed I meant sex and started talking about it. This surprised me. Because I’m thinking that walking around with a radioactive liver wouldn’t increase my sex drive but I would sure as hell want a hug. Or to be able to sit next to my mom or son without putting them in danger. But nope, I said affection and sex was assumed. How weird is that?
@ Wannabikkit,
That video is HILARIOUS! It’s too bad the guy got bit, but, it’s funny 🙂
PISS OFF!
Look at the bastard!
LOL 😀
@Z&T
Glad I could make someone laugh! 🙂
The tradie didn’t seem too worried about getting bitten and it didn’t look like a bad bite.
Well, except for the whole “it was inflicted by something native to Australia” part, which means within hours after the end of the video the whole leg probably swelled up to the size of a 747, started hurting like it was on fire, and, after a few months of this, mercifully turned purple and fell off. 🙂
First off, incels: “cope” is a verb,, not a noun. The word is “coping.”
Second: WHAT THE AMY HECKERLING IS WRONG WITH COPING?! You’re always whining about how you’re suffering constantly and your pain is just SOOOOO much worse than anybody else’s, so why would you be against things that might make your lives even the tiniest bit less painful?! It’s like a starving person who’s constantly complaining about being hungry, but refusing to eat any meal offered to them!
Only reason I can think of is that they know that coping would allow incels to realize that their lives aren’t that terrible and that being a virgin isn’t the worst thing anyone can possibly experience, revealing that the incel “philosophy” is built on sand. It’s the crab bucket, plain and simple; while claiming to help their fellow incels, they are actually sabotaging their efforts to feel better in order to maintain their numbers.
As an asexual, I’m pretty certain I haven’t died from lack of sex. Plus, despite not having intercourse with a partner, what is wrong with self pleasure? I get the idea that the sex thing isn’t just stress relief, it’s a power game they really want, to inflict control and dominate. That isn’t “making love”, it’s rape by another name. That’s why they’ll never be satisfied with sex bots unless they can withhold consent, there fore be raped. If I had been born a cis male, I doubt that I would have been asexual, as the control and power play part of a hetero sexual relationship (especially how it was demonstrated to me with ing the Brethren) was the part I found disgusting. I tried to brainwash myself into accepting it, but I was right all along. That relationship is an imbalance of power designed to favour men and dominate women, like The Handmaid’s Tale for real. That’s what the red pillers want.
@AuntieMameRedux
I once dog-sat a pair of whippets. The male was fixed, the female was in heat. She seemed uncomfortable and upset about the whole thing, and at one point when they were in the yard, instinct took over and he mounted her. It wasn’t effective, of course, but what made it sort of touching was that he was making eye contact with me, with a terribly worried expression. “Is this right?” he seemed to be asking. “Am I helping?”
Sex is definitely a want, not a need. The fact that nobody has ever died for lack of it should tell us as much. Been unhappy, maybe; uncomfortable, maybe. But so what? Lots of other things that don’t kill us also make us (momentarily) unhappy and uncomfortable. My way of coping with it (and I know this is probably going to come as a shock to any lurking volassholes — sorry, “incels”) is to remind myself that this, too, shall pass. My virginity certainly did, after what seemed like an interminable time (in reality, only 20-odd years), and when it did, it was…kind of boring, actually. I can remember distinctly thinking that if this is what all the fuss is about, it’s literally much ado about nothing. What was supposed to be a crucial juncture in a young adult’s life was a bit of a yawn, really. As rites of passage go, I’ve had far more momentous ones than that.
That said, it’s still expecting too much for a volasshole to demand an unwilling woman dispense sex to him. Sex is not an essential thing, so nothing’s what you get until your attitude improves, dude. And a good place to start improving that attitude is to remind yourself that since you don’t NEED sex, nobody OWES you sex, either.
Maybe all the Incels can dance to Joy Division and celebrate the irony of refusing to sleep with women who refuse to sleep with them.
Podkayne Lives,
Same thing happened with my childhood cats. Whiskers was neutered. Our new kitten, Clio went into heat before we had a chance to get her spayed. Whiskers kept trying to mate with her and was a little confused because he knew something about the process was going awry. As awkward as the whole thing was, it did knock her out of heat and she was very quickly taken to the vet to get spayed.
@Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
At least it’s unlikely to be rabies!
WWTH:
How would Trump supporters react to his jailing? It’s hard to see this ending without some degree of violence.
I’m actually more worried about future leaders. What this episode in US history has shown is that millions of Americans are happy to support a monster, provided he hates the same people they hate, and that the GOP will go along with this. Is there any reason to believe that Trump will be the last beneficiary of this? Perhaps a more competent demagogue is preparing to run.
Remember the Honey Badgers and them getting booted out of Calgary Expo then sueing?
They lost their case.
Link (it’s a pro gamergoober site, so avoid the comments)
No matter what there’s violence. Hundreds of orphaned children for example. Keeping trump out of jail is saying we’re ok with that violence.
From my limited understanding of Maslow’s Hierarchy, which is from theory like Scildfreja Unnyðnes suscripes it:
From what I remember from the pyramid, it was a list of what people want not what they need and there was first the more importent thinks you need to survive. If your survival is secure you want more thinks that are not necessary for survival.
You don’t need sex to survive, (no matter if you count masturbation or not)
Social contacts are (or should be) much higher on that list. I don’t know if you can survive without them.