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Incel: “I honestly enjoy knowing that many animals die virgins. It gives me a sense of inner peace”

Muh wombat feels

By David Futrelle

Today, someone posted a picture of the world’s oldest wombat to the Braincels subreddit under the headline “It’s over for wombatcels.” Because, you see, the world’s oldest wombat also happens to be a virgin, making him also the world’s oldest wombat incel.

While most of the commenters made jokes, one fellow was strangely heartened by Patrick the Wombat’s inability to score.

DFWAggie 15 points 5 hours ago I'm not sure if this is cope, but I honestly enjoy knowing that many animals die virgins. Strange, but it gives me a sense of inner peace. permalinkembedsavereportgive goldreply [–]Nightstalkerr_ 11 points 4 hours ago Nah bro their brains are wired differently they don’t need sex, and it’s not as important as it is to humans. So yeah this is cope bro

“Cope,” by the way, is how so-called incels describe strategies they come up with to, well, cope with their bitterness about their ongoing celibacy; incels, being the perversely miserable sorts that they are, look down their noses at it, preferring instead to wallow in their own largely self-made misery.

But you know what, DFWAggie? Taking comfort from a wombat’s virginity might be a little weird, but hey, if it helps to cut through the bitterness and to remind you that unwanted celibacy, while unfortunate, isn’t actually the end of the world, go ahead and indulge this particular cope all you want. “Cope” is good.

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weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

How to answer that without violating the comment policy or getting a visit from secret service?

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

In all seriousness though, I don’t think Trump’s hold on the right will lessen unless he is jailed. It’s enough to vote him out in 2020. It’s not enough to impeach and remove him from office.

People have likened Trumpism to a cult. I think there’s a lot of truth to that. As long as Trump can speak to the masses, he’ll keep his base brainwashed. He must have access to all media platforms removed.

As an example, Charles Manson still has his fans, but the actual brainwashed hold he had over his family members dissipated quickly after he was convicted and imprisoned. IIIRC, all of the convicted family members deconverted. Some of his outside family remained loyal. But that faded too.

I have low confidence that Trump will be jailed. I’m just glad he’s pretty old and none of his kids inherited his talent for demagogary. There’s only so long he can remain in public life. But how much damage will he do before dying of old age? A lot. And the longer he stays alive and free to spread his propaganda, the harder it’s going to be to deprogram his cult members.

Robert
Robert
2 years ago

The Maslow pyramid is a good example of the aphorism ‘all models are false, some models are useful’. My favorite description of the MBTI is ‘newspaper astrology for people who think they’re too intelligent for newspaper astrology’.

OT: today’s Oglaf concerns a topic of interest to Mammotheers. I don’t want to spoil the surprise.

SpukiKitty
SpukiKitty
2 years ago

@Catalpa

Anglerfish take the cake! The males are little blobs that attach to the big fully-autonomous-critter female and sort of melt into her….becoming basically a mindless wart that gets her pregnant.

Critters are weird.

**********

@reggie, the neighbour’s cat

Noooooooooooooooo!
Well; He’ll be adorable in Wombat-Heaven.

**********

@Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation

Well; For a start, be sure to VOTE BLUE this November. A Blue Wave would certainly neuter much of Chump’s antics and bring about impeachment.

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

@Spukikitty
Yeah, there are all manner of weird ways of getting jiggy with it in the animal kingdom. It’s pretty fascinating stuff! I just posted a few on this thread. that might work for incels to “cope” with, since they’re species where a fair amount die virgins (because any cause of death aside from dying from mating results in a dead virgin critter). Didn’t include anglerfish because I’m not sure if the mated males can strictly be considered “dead” or not. They sure are freaky things, though .

Unfortunately, Surplus (and me) are Canadians and we don’t get to vote to try to stop cheeto Hitler from doing more damage. (And we’ve got our own miniature Dump to try to deal with, now, on top of that.)

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

@Robert:

What’s an oglaf?

Malitia
Malitia
2 years ago

@ Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation

https://www.oglaf.com/

Generally NSFW but the newest story is… mostly.

Robert
Robert
2 years ago

Thank you, Malitia!

The deep sea anglerfish parasitic male phenomenon is indeed remarkable. It’s one of those biological facts that I would like to hear an Intelligent Design proponent try to explain. If I had had the math chops for a natural science major in college, I think I would have studied parasites; they’re utterly fascinating.

ChimericMind
ChimericMind
2 years ago

@WWTH: Did you mean to say that being voted out WOULDN’T be enough, but being impeached (and presumably jailed) would be? Because otherwise it doesn’t seem to mesh with the rest of your post.

@Surplus: Oglaf is…well, follow the link. It has bizarrely intelligent strips (more so in the last few years than the beginning) with frequent full-frontal nudity. Today’s epic (most panels posted at once I’ve ever seen in a webcomic) would seem semi-SFW on a casual glance, until you notice that the barbarian main character is not at all wearing underwear, even when he’s in a short dress. For the record, said barbarian belongs to such an intensely misogynistic tribe that they actually reproduce entirely through gay sex, in a hilarious send-up to homophobic MGTOWs.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Being jailed would be enough. Being removed from office but not jailed would not be enough. If he was removed from office he’d still be all over TV and all over Twitter. He’d still have just as much influence over his cult.

AuntieMameRedux
AuntieMameRedux
2 years ago

I never knew wombats were that big either. Looks like a hedgehog of course unusual size but cuter.

Who in the world ever thought about whether an animal was a virgin or not? I say this as practically my own private rescue facility of traumatized cats. I’ve had a lot of cats spayed and neutered over the years. Sometimes I’ve been sorry to do it, but I’ve never thought about the virginity aspect. More cruel, IMO, is to not spat and let them suffer through their heats without getting out the door.

I have one female, very traumatized still after eight years in the house. She will get occasional love from me if I’m alone in the house but hides if anyone else is home and freaks out if I bring a carrier inside. She is the one cat I’ve never had spayed. All the males are neutered and she wouldn’t go outside on a bet. I feel mildly guilty about this because her heats seem a frustrating time for her. And the males try, but then get frustrated and irritated when they can’t get the job done. I honestly worry about how traumatizing an overnight trip to the vet would be. She truly is the worst case of animal abuse and trauma I ever personally rescued. Now that she is middle aged her heats have decreased.

Which brings me to the idea that the “need” for sex can vary over the lifespan. I would consider myself no longer needing sex and I haven’t for a long time. How much does illness have to do with that? Some, but not entirely. I’d honestly be happy with a bestie and a small circle of good friends.

Because what most people do need is genuine love and friendship and affection. Whatever form this takes, we need to be seen and understood and known. People often seem to think that sex is the panacea for all social needs. It isn’t.

An example. There has been repeated discussion about putting radioactive spheres in my liver to combat tumor growth. I’ve avoided this so far because a) it involves permanently blocking blood vessels from the liver and b) I’ve had the chemotherapeutic version of this multiple times and was septic afterwards. This does have a point, I promise. Anyway, when it was under serious discussion the doc told me that I would have to stay a certain number of feet away from people for a number of days until the half life did its thing.

What about affection I asked?

The doctor assumed I meant sex and started talking about it. This surprised me. Because I’m thinking that walking around with a radioactive liver wouldn’t increase my sex drive but I would sure as hell want a hug. Or to be able to sit next to my mom or son without putting them in danger. But nope, I said affection and sex was assumed. How weird is that?

Z&T
Z&T
2 years ago

@ Wannabikkit,

That video is HILARIOUS! It’s too bad the guy got bit, but, it’s funny 🙂

PISS OFF!

Look at the bastard!

LOL 😀

Wannabikkit
Wannabikkit
2 years ago

@Z&T

Glad I could make someone laugh! 🙂

The tradie didn’t seem too worried about getting bitten and it didn’t look like a bad bite.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

Well, except for the whole “it was inflicted by something native to Australia” part, which means within hours after the end of the video the whole leg probably swelled up to the size of a 747, started hurting like it was on fire, and, after a few months of this, mercifully turned purple and fell off. 🙂

TB Tabby
TB Tabby
2 years ago

First off, incels: “cope” is a verb,, not a noun. The word is “coping.”

Second: WHAT THE AMY HECKERLING IS WRONG WITH COPING?! You’re always whining about how you’re suffering constantly and your pain is just SOOOOO much worse than anybody else’s, so why would you be against things that might make your lives even the tiniest bit less painful?! It’s like a starving person who’s constantly complaining about being hungry, but refusing to eat any meal offered to them!

Only reason I can think of is that they know that coping would allow incels to realize that their lives aren’t that terrible and that being a virgin isn’t the worst thing anyone can possibly experience, revealing that the incel “philosophy” is built on sand. It’s the crab bucket, plain and simple; while claiming to help their fellow incels, they are actually sabotaging their efforts to feel better in order to maintain their numbers.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
2 years ago

As an asexual, I’m pretty certain I haven’t died from lack of sex. Plus, despite not having intercourse with a partner, what is wrong with self pleasure? I get the idea that the sex thing isn’t just stress relief, it’s a power game they really want, to inflict control and dominate. That isn’t “making love”, it’s rape by another name. That’s why they’ll never be satisfied with sex bots unless they can withhold consent, there fore be raped. If I had been born a cis male, I doubt that I would have been asexual, as the control and power play part of a hetero sexual relationship (especially how it was demonstrated to me with ing the Brethren) was the part I found disgusting. I tried to brainwash myself into accepting it, but I was right all along. That relationship is an imbalance of power designed to favour men and dominate women, like The Handmaid’s Tale for real. That’s what the red pillers want.

Podkayne Lives
Podkayne Lives
2 years ago

@AuntieMameRedux

I once dog-sat a pair of whippets. The male was fixed, the female was in heat. She seemed uncomfortable and upset about the whole thing, and at one point when they were in the yard, instinct took over and he mounted her. It wasn’t effective, of course, but what made it sort of touching was that he was making eye contact with me, with a terribly worried expression. “Is this right?” he seemed to be asking. “Am I helping?”

Bina
2 years ago

Sex is definitely a want, not a need. The fact that nobody has ever died for lack of it should tell us as much. Been unhappy, maybe; uncomfortable, maybe. But so what? Lots of other things that don’t kill us also make us (momentarily) unhappy and uncomfortable. My way of coping with it (and I know this is probably going to come as a shock to any lurking volassholes — sorry, “incels”) is to remind myself that this, too, shall pass. My virginity certainly did, after what seemed like an interminable time (in reality, only 20-odd years), and when it did, it was…kind of boring, actually. I can remember distinctly thinking that if this is what all the fuss is about, it’s literally much ado about nothing. What was supposed to be a crucial juncture in a young adult’s life was a bit of a yawn, really. As rites of passage go, I’ve had far more momentous ones than that.

That said, it’s still expecting too much for a volasshole to demand an unwilling woman dispense sex to him. Sex is not an essential thing, so nothing’s what you get until your attitude improves, dude. And a good place to start improving that attitude is to remind yourself that since you don’t NEED sex, nobody OWES you sex, either.

Gijoel
Gijoel
2 years ago

Maybe all the Incels can dance to Joy Division and celebrate the irony of refusing to sleep with women who refuse to sleep with them.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Podkayne Lives,

Same thing happened with my childhood cats. Whiskers was neutered. Our new kitten, Clio went into heat before we had a chance to get her spayed. Whiskers kept trying to mate with her and was a little confused because he knew something about the process was going awry. As awkward as the whole thing was, it did knock her out of heat and she was very quickly taken to the vet to get spayed.

Wannabikkit
Wannabikkit
2 years ago

@Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation

At least it’s unlikely to be rabies!

Moggie
Moggie
2 years ago

WWTH:

Being jailed would be enough. Being removed from office but not jailed would not be enough. If he was removed from office he’d still be all over TV and all over Twitter. He’d still have just as much influence over his cult.

How would Trump supporters react to his jailing? It’s hard to see this ending without some degree of violence.

I’m actually more worried about future leaders. What this episode in US history has shown is that millions of Americans are happy to support a monster, provided he hates the same people they hate, and that the GOP will go along with this. Is there any reason to believe that Trump will be the last beneficiary of this? Perhaps a more competent demagogue is preparing to run.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

Remember the Honey Badgers and them getting booted out of Calgary Expo then sueing?

They lost their case.

Link (it’s a pro gamergoober site, so avoid the comments)

numerobis
numerobis
2 years ago

How would Trump supporters react to his jailing? It’s hard to see this ending without some degree of violence.

No matter what there’s violence. Hundreds of orphaned children for example. Keeping trump out of jail is saying we’re ok with that violence.

Who?
Who?
2 years ago

From my limited understanding of Maslow’s Hierarchy, which is from theory like Scildfreja Unnyðnes suscripes it:
From what I remember from the pyramid, it was a list of what people want not what they need and there was first the more importent thinks you need to survive. If your survival is secure you want more thinks that are not necessary for survival.
You don’t need sex to survive, (no matter if you count masturbation or not)
Social contacts are (or should be) much higher on that list. I don’t know if you can survive without them.

Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
Weird (and tired of trumplings) Eddie
2 years ago

Radically off-topic, Slate takes a trip down Misandry Memory Lane to report on the Greatest Upset in Quiz Show History

… no, really!!

comment image

Scildfreja Unnyðnes
Scildfreja Unnyðnes
2 years ago

The central idea of Maslow’s Hierarchy is that people pursue more fundamental desires first. You don’t strongly worry about being in danger if you’re starving, you don’t strongly worry about love if you’re in danger, you don’t strongly worry about self-improvement if you’re unloved, etc, etc.

There is so much to criticize in there. Like, ignore for the moment that it’s wrong on its face – that a starving person’s deepest concern might in fact be their loneliness. Nevermind that. He placed spirituality and benefit-to-society at the top of his pyramid – Self-Actualization. According to Maslow, the poor, lovelorn, anxious, or doubtful person can’t effect meaningful change in the world. Stupid and arrogant.

Just the methodology of how Maslow did his studies was ridiculous. The guy apparently focused on the healthiest and most exceptional people in his studies – like, literal celebrity achievers. Dude wrote “the study of crippled, stunted, immature, and unhealthy specimens can yield only a cripple psychology and a cripple philosophy”. Called the top-achiever people the master race.

It’s wrong from top to bottom, and it’s built on an arrogant, wealth-makes-right, fundamentally bigoted framework. Maslow’s trash.

F is for 'Fro'
F is for 'Fro'
2 years ago

Dang! I didn’t know Wombats got that big!!

Is that the Wombat Overlord?

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
2 years ago

@Scildfreja

Holy shit I didn’t know that. He sounds like an actual Nazi. O_o

Wanda
Wanda
2 years ago

I would say human touch is a need, at least up until a certain point of human development. What springs to mind are several examples of children being neglected in orphanages suffering from long time psychological disorders. Obviously there’s more to it than physical contact being withheld from them, such as physical, emotional, and mental abuse, but children who have no physical contact as babies and children have been shown to have lasting negative effects from it. So they aren’t dying without it, but they’re being permanently scarred from it.

Speaking as someone who doesn’t like to be touched though, I don’t think human touch is as much of a need past a certain age. Though I love to hug my animals, so the need to touch stuff is still there. I just don’t need to touch people. Human connection is probably a secondary need though, since loneliness is killing us. No one is going to die from loneliness like they would starvation, but it can lead to some bleak health outcomes.

Unlike loneliness, there is not a wide epidemic of people killing themselves and dying early because they never boned (to my knowledge). Humans desire for social connection is much stronger, I think, than sexual desire, whether it comes from romantic relationships, friends, families, or pets. It’s why incels are all so miserable– they have all this sexual desire and yet no worthwhile social connections, so they only see the value in the former and none in the latter. When it is the latter that would probably make them happier.

Diptych
Diptych
2 years ago

@TB Tabby

Only reason I can think of is that they know that coping would allow incels to realize that their lives aren’t that terrible and that being a virgin isn’t the worst thing anyone can possibly experience, revealing that the incel “philosophy” is built on sand. It’s the crab bucket, plain and simple; while claiming to help their fellow incels, they are actually sabotaging their efforts to feel better in order to maintain their numbers.

If I wanted to keep people absolutely reliant on my group’s approval, plus constantly agitated and miserable, so they’d be more likely to, for instance, commit crimes that suit the group’s agenda… well, that’s pretty much exactly how I’d do it.

Incidentally, the “crabs in a bucket” metaphor… it’s strange, isn’t it? Presumably real crabs aren’t actually maliciously trying to sabotage each other. If their described behaviour does actually take place, I’m assuming they’re trying to climb over each other to escape the bucket – using whichever crab’s nearest the top as a ladder, so to speak. So it’s less tall poppy syndrome, and more a bunch of hangers-on gravitating to whoever’s doing well at a given moment, accidentally causing them to fail.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy

I can give you babies’ need for contact, plus wombats! Here is George the wombat, who is happily still alive and thriving after being rescued. He’s now in the wild, but when he was being cared for, he adored his human parent, as you can see here.

My friend discovered she had a wombat living in her garden when it rushed her one day and headbutted her. They are seriously strong!

@Wannabikkit, just hailing you to say I love your username. “wannabikkit” is right up there in my favourites, along with “glubs”. Never fails to make me smile 🙂

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ mish

rushed her one day and headbutted her.

Hand to hand wombat.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@Alan
You get an onion for that.

Cyborgette
Cyborgette
2 years ago

Also re touch and loneliness. I’ve seen stuff decrying “PC culture” for making it harder to get the contact, and I hate that idea, because I was massively touch starved for most of my life *because of patriarchy and violent male culture*.

Even people who love and need touch may not WANT to be touched, or may not seek it out, because of trauma. Or because it’s linked to sex that they don’t want, because they’re scared that they’d be creepy or hurtful, because asking men would be seen as gay or asking women as lesbian… Because people who want to touch you in this society so often mean you ill.

A society that did not have such high rates of trauma and abuse would also have much, much less touch starvation. Because people who needed and wanted touch would not have to be afraid to ask.

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

I think that positive, wanted touch is… Well, if it’s not strictly a need, it’s definitely something that is a healthy, beneficial thing for a large number of people, sort of like exercise. And it’s shitty that our culture has lumped almost all forms of physical affection solely into the realm of romantic/sexual relationships. It’s ESPECIALLY shitty because it translates all of our awful, rape-culturey expectations into all forms of physical affection.

Personally, I know I’d do a HELL of a lot more cuddling with people, if it weren’t generally assumed that prolonged bodily contact comes automatically bundled with sex.

Mish of the Catlady Ascendancy

omg Alan that was inspired

Diptych
Diptych
2 years ago

Back in the day, one Australian gaming magazine industriously propagated the rumour that there was in development an Australian fighting game called Mortal Wombat.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
2 years ago

Seconding, thirding, fourthing and n’thing the proposal that the vast majority of humans would be happier and better off if it weren’t generally assumed that prolonged bodily contact comes automatically bundled with sex as Catalpa points out.

Not everybody wants this, obviously, and people vary enormously, but I bet the desire/maybe need for physical affection outweighs that for sex for most of us social-species human animals, most of the time (v infants, rugby teams, families, other great apes, many other social animals …)

“hugs give dolphins” (aka endorphins, one of those silly in-jokes from when the kids were little, and who doesn’t like dolphins anyway)

Cubist
2 years ago

Since TEH AMINAL SEXXY was mentioned:

http://humoncomics.com/archive/animal-lives

Yes, animal sex can get very weird…

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

@Cubist

Sorry, Isabella Rosselini got there wayyyy before:

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL2C28D7E7EF0004BB

I highly recommend the whole film (titled Green Porno), because the get-ups alone are amusing enough to keep you watching.

As for the idea of close contact being so necessary… I dunno, I’m kinda zealous about my personal space. Prolonged closeness actually gets kinda awkward in my experience.

Valkyrine
Valkyrine
2 years ago

@Virgin Mary
Ummm, could you specify what exactly you mean when you say that had you been born male you probs wouldn’t be asexual? Because the way you put it makes it kinda sound like you were put off the idea of (straight) sex because you saw it as domination play, but I don’t think that’s quite what being ace is…

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

@Valkyrine

Ehhh, I dunno. I mean, I’m ace because I’ve just never wanted sex, but I’m no big fan of gatekeeping sexual identities.

Personally, I think that if there are people who are sex-repulsed because of trauma or anxiety about the fucked-up dynamics surrounding sex, then they can identify as asexual too, if they want. Asexuality is just a lack of sexual attraction, imo. It doesn’t need to be a lack of sexual attraction that is entirely innate and has no other reason. Our experiences shape who we are as people. I’ve had enough “But are you sure you’re reaaaally asexual?” thoughts myself that I’m not going to try to force those little bastards on others.

Of course, it’s also possible that Virgin Mary meant that he wouldn’t have realized he was asexual because of the socialization pushing him into thinking that, as a man, he NEEDED to have sex.

JS
JS
2 years ago

This came to mind while laughing at the headline… Is a female wombat called a womanbat, or batwoman?

Valkyrine
Valkyrine
2 years ago

@Catalpa
Yes, I really don’t personally like gatekeeping either. The “am I really ace” thing is something I have been struggling with too, and it’s likely to get stronger now too, since I apparently haven’t been able to mature enough to form my identity/personality to even have an understanding on my sexuality.
I’m just a bit concerned that saying it gives ammo to idiots like my brother to dismiss asexuality as “not real” or as some kind of “condition”. 🙁

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

Eh, the people who pathologize asexuality will always do so, it doesn’t matter if the asexual community is formed 100% of totally pure, always-knew-it, born-this-way asexuals who never had sex or masturbated. There will still be fuckers who assume that it’s not “real” and actually just some kind of health condition.

I’d rather have an inclusive, welcoming community than one dedicated to trying to please people who will always hate us.

Virgin Mary
Virgin Mary
2 years ago

For clarity, I have no problem with masterbation, but penatrative intercourse always seemed wrong to me as I have the wrong bits. I love cuddling, I would love to be able to do that all day long without fear of it getting out of hand.
I tried to get into sex, I told myself so many times, oh, this us something people enjoy, you won’t know unless you try… But I don’t really want to eat snails either tbh.
The women in my family were socialised to believe that sex is not meant for your own pleasure, but to appease someone else, like your tired stressed out husband when he comes home from work and needs to relax, all he needs is a hot meal and some nookie and you get a peaceful life and a roof over your head. That isn’t even a turn on, that’s seen as duty, lay back and think of England!!!
As I male I would have been socialised to see sex differently and wouldn’t have been so turned off by it.

AuntieMameRedux
AuntieMameRedux
2 years ago

@Podkayne

Right? They look so confused. They do the bite on the back of the neck and the mounting and then get this look, like hey, wait a minute, something else is supposed to be happening here. I know that spaying and neutering is a good thing. I especially know this as an unofficial rescuer of cats, but in these instances, I do feel a bit rueful.

Why would anyone doubt the existence of asexuality? I only read about it as a stated philosophy a couple of years ago, but it made complete sense to me and I thought of people I’d known over the course of my life to whom it clearly applied. What would be the skin off of anyone’s nose?

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

Why would anyone doubt the existence of asexuality?

Because “sex is a basic human need” (a sentiment which has already been defended on this very thread), and “everyone has a sex drive, because evolution/biology/etc!” and “you just need to give it a tryyyyy!”

I suspect that part of the sentiment may stem from the fact that sex is considered to be something “dirty” in our culture, and if asexuals say that they don’t want it, other people hear “I’m better than you, you filthy sex-wanting animal”, and defensively respond to that sentiment with “all humans want sex, you’re just lying or you’re not really human!”.