By David Futrelle
Pity poor Roosh! It seems like only yesterday the alleged pickup artist and semi-ironic rape legalization proponent was basking in a worldwide wave of adulation hatred as he trotted around a portion of the globe on his “Roosh World Tour,” bringing his message of “neomasculinity” to his small but fervent fanbase and generating headlines at every stop.
Three years on, Roosh is decidedly old news; traffic on his websites has fallen and his attempts to provoke the media beast have been generally ignored — and he has dropped his pickup artist schtick almost entirely, instead posting grouchy post after post lamenting what he sees as the terribleness of modern women and his inability to land himself a sweet virginal hottie wife.
Yes, the dude who won fame teaching men such innovative “pickup” techniques as following drunk women home from bars and never telling them your real name is angry that evil “Chads” are bogarting all the women.
It seems, in other words, that this former PUA has now become something of an incel.
In a recent blog post with the petulant title “All That’s Left For Normal Men Are Rotten Women,” Roosh blames evil alpha males for ruining women for ordinary guys like himself. Sounding more than a little like a commenter from some egregious incel forum, he complains that “the most attractive women are being taken out of circulation to either join alpha male harems or participate in degenerate lifestyle choices,” rendering it nearly impossible for most men to snag themselves “a mentally stable and cute woman in her prime.”
“In the modern Western world,” he grouses,
a single famous man can command the sexual attentions of dozens—if not thousands—of women in their sexual prime, spoiling these women for normal men who don’t have the ability to tingle their vaginas with the same intensity.
It’s a little weird to see a guy who once made a living off his reputation as a primo lady-killer seemingly admit straight up that he can’t “tingle … vaginas” to save his life.
How many actors, musicians, and sports athletes are trying to plow through as much prime pussy as possible? How many Hollywood directors and music producers are leveraging their positions for sexual gain? How many club owners, restaurateurs, Arab sheikhs, and politicians are doing the same? Each one is taking way more beautiful women out of circulation than men like my grandfather [who Roosh says had three wives], all while elevating their standards to such an extent that no average man can ever gain their love, let alone two hours—or even two minutes–of their uninterrupted attention.
Two minutes? Is Roosh confessing that he’s a two-minute man? Well, as Jemaine Clement of The Flight of the Conchords once famously sang, “two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven.” Except he was joking.
We also have to account for female lifestyle choices that are designed to delay or prevent pair bonding and marriage. The biggest is career. Most girls, while embarking on a career, balance out the boredom of working a meaningless job by hopping on the cock carousel and banging at least a few men every year.
He’s actually angry at the very notion that a women might have sex with … more than one or two men over the course of a year?
By the time a girl hits 25 years old, any man who meets her will have to deal with a walk-in closet of emotional issues and hang-ups from being pumped and dumped as much as a 1930’s brothel whore.
Apparently brothels in the 1930s weren’t exactly doing land-office business, if the women working there only had two or three customers a year.
Then there is the Instagram and Facebook lifestyle that creates crippling dopamine addiction, which causes a girl to only be satisfied if dozens of men are actively thirsting for her every day. I estimate that if a girl has over 500 followers on Instagram, she is so used to attention from throngs of men that the love of one man cannot possibly satisfy her.
Apparently Roosh can’t compete with Instagram “likes.”
We must also throw in the growing “travel blogger” lifestyle where, instead of using only her body to get attention, a girl uses pictures and video from exotic locations to enhance her beauty.
I’m beginning to suspect that Roosh spends most of his time following Instagram models and muttering angrily to himself each time one of them gives him a boner.
Other girls, with nothing substantial to offer the world, decide to showcase pictures of pets or their tasty overpriced meals, but even that puts them on a dopamine loop that ruins their future interactions with men.
Now he’s mad at women who post pics of their fucking DOGS or the sandwich they had for lunch? Honestly, dude, this is getting embarrassing.
Roosh goes on to complain about “sugar babies” and porn stars, then declares:
The Western world is a sinkhole for women. The prettiest of the bunch fall into the hole and get spit out years later an entitled #MeToo hag who can never be happy, making the Islamic four-wive rule seem downright egalitarian.
Yes, he said “entitled #MeToo hag.” He evidently thinks that women who are raped and/or sexually harassed are somehow … privileged.
The sad truth is that if you meet an attractive girl today, she was pumped and dumped by numerous sexy men, prefers to nurture her career than children, is addicted to attention via the internet, and has participated in some kind of scheme to exchange social status or cash for her pussy. She’s more than suitable for a bit of fun, but would it be wise to seek a relationship with her?
Yes, those lady grapes are definitely sour.
But take heart, ladies! Roosh is still a romantic at heart, and would be happy to settle for one of you!
Even with the obesity and short-hair epidemic, I still see a bountiful supply of cute girls I would happily reproduce with.
Great news for all human females!
I would love them, let them caress my beard, and lay my seed deep within their vaginal guts …
You would do WHAT in their WHATS!? Ewwwww.
… but the problem is that those guts are not for me—they are for the Chads who would never marry her, the beta orbiters who await her newest selfie as if it were a source of food, or the rich and lonely men who would sponsor her for thousands of dollars a month.
Dude, you’re honestly saying that you can’t compete with a woman’s “beta orbiters?” I thought pickup artists were supposed to be the alphas every woman years for.
They’re taking her out of circulation at the time I want her most, and by the time they are done with her, I no longer want her.
I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual.
I guess I’ll try to weasel in a bang or two when she is not yet fully degraded, and enjoy the fleeting pleasure that comes from it as much as I can.
You’ll :try to weasel in a bang or two?” Dude, you give weasels a bad name.
Huh. Sounds like Roosh is actually in favor of the #MeToo campaign to stop powerful entertainment-industry men from “leveraging their positions for sexual gain”.
Oh. Guess not.
And not knowing the difference between reproductive systems and guts is apparently the least of Roosh’s problems.
Caress his beard?
Go caress some toilet paper, Roosh.
Yet another MRA/MGTOW/PUA/incel who doesn’t realize that the vagina is not connected to the stomach.
My favourite picture of him is in this article if you scroll down. Might suggest he has been an incel for some time.
The only thing that has ever gotten him laid is those huge hands – which is what one wants in a quick hook up. Otherwise there is nothing there – A narcissistic black hole.
I guess because he sees women as no human and without agency he is baffled as to why he can’t have a real relationship.
Yes, excellent point. You know what’s even better for that? Rice flour tortillas. I discovered this after having purchased some to use as tortilla shells. Big mistake. They are terrible as tortillas. I didn’t want to waste them, though, so I discovered they are excellent as crispy pizza shells; better than a regular flour tortilla.
After years of riding the vagina carousel, Roosh’s dick is all used up, like a tube of Chapstick worn down by a thousand pairs of lips. He’d like to settle down, but now he’s rotten. After years of posting exotic travelogues in return for likes and clicks, he’s desperately addicted to the dopamine loop of internet attention. That about right?
Stop posing in front of beaches, you lying whores! They’re as bad as rouge!
…and hug and squeeze them and name them George…
Gross. Leave it to Roosh to make sex sound like a housefly contaminating the egg salad at a picnic.
Interestingly, I have a lot less emotional baggage now that I’m a hideous #metoo hag in my 50’s than I did when I was young and cute-ish.
The real reason that critters like Roosh dislike women over 25 is that most of them are not naive enough to fall for his pickup artist bullshit and will tell him to go fuck himself.
I don’t think Roosh has ever looked at an anatomy book. Vaginas do not have guts.
The carousel is a for penises only. The vagina carnival ride should probably be something like the tilt-a-whirl. Roosh has taken too many spins in the vagina-a-whirl and now he’s all dizzy and nauseous.
“Cock carousel” is such an odd metaphor. You don’t ride a carousel by jumping from horse to horse. You stay on one horse and go around and around with it.
There’s a campaign underway to flip a “moderate” Repug senator to oppose Kavanagh and other odious Supreme Court nominees:
http://feministing.com/2018/07/02/why-young-feminists-are-sending-wire-coat-hangers-to-susan-collins/
Not to well actually you, but actually, I totally rode the non metaphorical actual carousel like that when I was a kid. At least if it wasn’t too crowded. It always seemed like one of the other horses going higher or faster, so I’d switch. Then another horse would be looking like a better ride, so I’d switch again.
Was that a sign that I’d grow up to be a metaphorical carousel riding feminist hussy? Maybe!
Well, you know what they say – the horse is always greener on the other side of the fence.
Everything Roosh writes makes me dryer than the hottest desert at the peak of summer on the closest planet to the hottest sun.
I mean the way he describes sex sounds like something out of a body horror movie.
Ewwwwww
I need a second shower now
My guess is that Roosh has always been an incel and just made all that shit up
The funniest thing about this to me is that Roosh thinks he is a “normal” “ordinary” man. What a mistake-a-to make.
Of course we could argue for hours over what “normal” actually means but I think we’d all agree that Roosh isn’t it.
@wwth:
Yes, I’m on a calico kitty’s staff. And, I see you are, too.
Uugh, it’s 3 in the morning, and I can’t fall back asleep.
All I can think of is the bit from “Best Little Whorehouse In Texas”, where the Chicken Ranch got its name because the ladies were accepting poultry during the Depression. There’s a quick image of men in the waiting room, clutching hens, and then one of the girls is throwing out chicken feed in the yard, wearing a glamorous negligee.
Incidentally, his name was also Roosh III.
(Sorry. I recall Roosh himself has made jokes in this same vein.)
Depression meds do that to your sexual economy.
For the reference, 500 Instagram followers equals to about three suitors serenading under your balcony at all times.
Normally I just lurk, but this?
This is a thing of pure beauty and deserves an Internet. Thank you.
There is also the hypocrisy around online attention seeking. At this point accusing women of attention seeking is cliche, including pointing at Instagram culture. Roosh is far from the first to go there. I would say something about “if only he had a REAL conversation with a woman” but we all no that isn’t going to happen.
Off topic, but the “weasel” line at the end made me think of Bobby “The Brain” Heenan.
from “Doonesbury”
@ carolyn briggs:
(love the inflatable love doll behind Doosh….)
It’s just great how men bear absolutely no responsibility for this whole “degeneration of good women” catastrophe. OF COURSE men will “pump and dump” all the women they can possibly stick their penis in. Men are virile, powerful conquerors who have absolutely no control over their dicks and cannot be expected to desire any kind of committed relationship until they’re old and used up and can’t access the vagina-a-whirl anymore. And that’s totally natural and even admirable, and women should know this and carefully guard their virginity for a crusty old rapist who finally wants to settle down for some meaningful beard-caressing action.
Meanwhile, women are evil nasty sluts who have no control over their labia and now tragically have nothing forcing them into staying in one committed relationship, not until they’re old and used up and can’t access the cock carousel anymore. This is disgusting and horrible and women who behave in this manner deserve to be alone forever with absolutely NO beard-caressing or having seeds planted in their guts. Which is truly a fate worse than death.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: the act of sex actually disgusts Roosh and this is only further proof of it. Much like the incels he’s becoming (and clearly influenced), what he gets off on is the feeling of power over a woman.
I’m sure Todd Akin has a position for him at the “Women’s Bodies: How Do They Work? Institute”.
I will say this for the creep, he does hit on the way social media has commodified people’s daily lives in a way that forces us to build these facades of who we are. In the world of Facebook and Instagram, we’re all brands to be consumed. But Roosh here is just stupid enough to think that it’s only women engaging in that behaviour. If anything, he’s easily one of the most toxic and harmful brands around.
So to remedy that, here’s one of the most adorable brands around:
I just can’t get enough of Curious Zelda.