Has-been “pickup artist” Roosh V sounds more like an incel every day

By David Futrelle

Pity poor Roosh! It seems like only yesterday the alleged pickup artist and semi-ironic rape legalization proponent was basking in a worldwide wave of adulation hatred as he trotted around a portion of the globe on his “Roosh World Tour,” bringing his message of “neomasculinity” to his small but fervent fanbase and generating headlines at every stop.

Three years on, Roosh is decidedly old news; traffic on his websites has fallen and his attempts to provoke the media beast have been generally ignored — and he has dropped his pickup artist schtick almost entirely, instead posting grouchy post after post lamenting what he sees as the terribleness of modern women and his inability to land himself a sweet virginal hottie wife.

Yes, the dude who won fame teaching men such innovative “pickup” techniques as  following drunk women home from bars and never telling them your real name is angry that evil “Chads” are bogarting all the women.

It seems, in other words, that this former PUA has now become something of an incel.

In a recent blog post with the petulant title “All That’s Left For Normal Men Are Rotten Women,” Roosh blames evil alpha males for ruining women for ordinary guys like himself. Sounding more than a little like a commenter from some egregious incel forum, he complains that “the most attractive women are being taken out of circulation to either join alpha male harems or participate in degenerate lifestyle choices,” rendering it nearly impossible for most men to snag themselves “a mentally stable and cute woman in her prime.”

“In the modern Western world,” he grouses,

a single famous man can command the sexual attentions of dozens—if not thousands—of women in their sexual prime, spoiling these women for normal men who don’t have the ability to tingle their vaginas with the same intensity.

It’s a little weird to see a guy who once made a living off his reputation as a primo lady-killer seemingly admit straight up that he can’t “tingle … vaginas” to save his life.

How many actors, musicians, and sports athletes are trying to plow through as much prime pussy as possible? How many Hollywood directors and music producers are leveraging their positions for sexual gain? How many club owners, restaurateurs, Arab sheikhs, and politicians are doing the same? Each one is taking way more beautiful women out of circulation than men like my grandfather [who Roosh says had three wives], all while elevating their standards to such an extent that no average man can ever gain their love, let alone two hours—or even two minutes–of their uninterrupted attention.

Two minutes? Is Roosh confessing that he’s a two-minute man? Well, as Jemaine Clement of The Flight of the Conchords once famously sang, “two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven.” Except he was joking.

We also have to account for female lifestyle choices that are designed to delay or prevent pair bonding and marriage. The biggest is career. Most girls, while embarking on a career, balance out the boredom of working a meaningless job by hopping on the cock carousel and banging at least a few men every year.

He’s actually angry at the very notion that a women might have sex with … more than one or two men over the course of a year?

By the time a girl hits 25 years old, any man who meets her will have to deal with a walk-in closet of emotional issues and hang-ups from being pumped and dumped as much as a 1930’s brothel whore.

Apparently brothels in the 1930s weren’t exactly doing land-office business, if the women working there only had two or three customers a year.

Then there is the Instagram and Facebook lifestyle that creates crippling dopamine addiction, which causes a girl to only be satisfied if dozens of men are actively thirsting for her every day. I estimate that if a girl has over 500 followers on Instagram, she is so used to attention from throngs of men that the love of one man cannot possibly satisfy her.

Apparently Roosh can’t compete with Instagram “likes.”

We must also throw in the growing “travel blogger” lifestyle where, instead of using only her body to get attention, a girl uses pictures and video from exotic locations to enhance her beauty.

I’m beginning to suspect that Roosh spends most of his time following Instagram models and muttering angrily to himself each time one of them gives him a boner.

Other girls, with nothing substantial to offer the world, decide to showcase pictures of pets or their tasty overpriced meals, but even that puts them on a dopamine loop that ruins their future interactions with men.

Now he’s mad at women who post pics of their fucking DOGS or the sandwich they had for lunch? Honestly, dude, this is getting embarrassing.

Roosh goes on to complain about “sugar babies” and porn stars, then declares:

The Western world is a sinkhole for women. The prettiest of the bunch fall into the hole and get spit out years later an entitled #MeToo hag who can never be happy, making the Islamic four-wive rule seem downright egalitarian.

Yes, he said “entitled #MeToo hag.” He evidently thinks that women who are raped and/or sexually harassed are somehow … privileged.

The sad truth is that if you meet an attractive girl today, she was pumped and dumped by numerous sexy men, prefers to nurture her career than children, is addicted to attention via the internet, and has participated in some kind of scheme to exchange social status or cash for her pussy. She’s more than suitable for a bit of fun, but would it be wise to seek a relationship with her?

Yes, those lady grapes are definitely sour.

But take heart, ladies! Roosh is still a romantic at heart, and would be happy to settle for one of you!

Even with the obesity and short-hair epidemic, I still see a bountiful supply of cute girls I would happily reproduce with.

Great news for all human females!

I would love them, let them caress my beard, and lay my seed deep within their vaginal guts …

You would do WHAT in their WHATS!? Ewwwww.

… but the problem is that those guts are not for me—they are for the Chads who would never marry her, the beta orbiters who await her newest selfie as if it were a source of food, or the rich and lonely men who would sponsor her for thousands of dollars a month.

Dude, you’re honestly saying that you can’t compete with a woman’s “beta orbiters?” I thought pickup artists were supposed to be the alphas every woman years for.

They’re taking her out of circulation at the time I want her most, and by the time they are done with her, I no longer want her.

I’m pretty sure the feeling is mutual.

I guess I’ll try to weasel in a bang or two when she is not yet fully degraded, and enjoy the fleeting pleasure that comes from it as much as I can.

You’ll :try to weasel in a bang or two?” Dude, you give weasels a bad name.