By David Futrelle
People often joke about the whole Jordan Peterson thing being a cult, but the thing is that it really is pretty damn culty. Consider, for example, this tale of one young acolyte’s meeting with the Holy Man after a recent public debate between J-Peet and top atheist skeezeball Sam Harris.
The lucky fella, calling himself mushroomyakuza, posted his story to the Jordan Peterson subreddit earlier this week. He was thrilled to meet his guru, he wrote, because “he really has had a pretty profound impact on my life. It was humbling.”
Contemplating one’s tininess in the universe is humbling. Meeting some fussbudgety Canadian professor with a popular self-help book and an oversized sense of self-importance shouldn’t be.
He was so courteous and polite to everyone he saw, including my girlfriend. Met her with a big “how are you?” and a sweet grin.
She was probably the only woman in the entire audience.
It was a surreal moment for me, having been a fan for nearly two years when the first video of him at UoT regarding gender pronouns emerged.
Transphobia, the gateway drug to Jordan Petersonism.
Then it was my turn.
We shook hands. Good firm grip.
I looked at him and said “Thank you, man.” I said “I’m sorting it all out.”
It is just me or is it getting awfully culty in here? J-Peet tells his young fans to “sort yourself out” and “clean your room” before taking on the world’s problems. So mushroomyakuza is repeating Peterson’s own catchphrase back at him. That’s a little culty, my dude. It’s also not terribly original. It’s like meeting Right Said Fred and telling them that they really are too sexy for their shirts.
Oh but it gets cultier:
Our eyes locked and we held each others gaze. He saw into my soul, basically. There was a moment of understanding that only men have when your eyes lock in a certain way (sorry girls it’s true).
Jesus Effing Christ. It was just a little eye contact! My cats “lock eyes” with me all the time and they’re not “seeing into my soul.” They just want food!
(Though admittedly when I first got my cats at the cat shelter I chose one of them because she looked me straight in the eye and there was a moment of understanding that only people and cats have when their eyes lock in a certain way (sorry dog people it’s true), and I knew I had to pick her and she and I are very happy but then again my other cat is equally great and I picked her because she was a complete goofball, and magical eye bonding had nothing to do with it. But I digress.)
He signed the book with a smile and nod. I said” Thank you” again and he said “You’re welcome. Thank you for coming.” and gave me another firm handshake with another eye lock.
WOW WHAT WISDOM. Embroider that and put it in a little frame.
I wish I’d had time to take a picture, but there was a very long line and people were being pushed along.
People say not to meet your idols, and even though this was only for roughly ten seconds, I was not disappointed.
Thank you for everything you do Dr Peterson.
My body just did a little involuntary shudder.
I mean, it’s one thing to fanboy or fangirl a bit when you meet someone you admire or idolize. But what the hell. HE SAW INTO YOUR FUCKING SOUL!?
You’re in a cult, dude. WAKE UP!