By David Futrelle
Considering how little they actually ever talk to the, er, “femoids” that they constantly obsess over, it’s kind of remarkable how confident so-called “involuntary celibates” are that they understand the secret desires of women better than women themselves do.
Case in point: A thread on the Incels.me forum today devoted to discussing the proposition that “Women like animals proportionate to how big the animals dick is. Women do not care about small dick animals.”
The OP explained his hypothesis thusly:
In a series of followup comments, MilkTeaPill elaborated on one longtime obsession of internet lady haters — the notion that a significant portion of the human female population is having sex with dogs.
YEP every female that chose to get a dog and lives on her own is fucking that dog. And about 60% of girls that have a family dog have done something sexual with the dog.
He did not cite a source for this statistic. In fact, the percentage of women who have sex with animals is probably closer to 2 percent, according to the only survey I was able to find that seemed even vaguely reliable; the same survey suggested that men were more than twice as likely as women to have sex with animals. I would imagine that the percentage of zoophiles who actually let horses penetrate them is a tiny fraction of this, given that it can quite easily kill you.
But MilkTeaPill went on to insist that for many, er, “foids” — the favorite incel term for women — dogs were no longer enough. Be warned that the quotes that follow may spoil your dinner if this hasn’t happened already.
dog dicks aren’t big enough for foids these days. They need that BHD (Big Horse Dick). 1-2 feet of horse dick pounding their insides. …
They can’t get enough of that multi foot dick stretching out their human pussy. They love it when horses cum liters of horse seed into them. This is literally every foids dream. …
Horse dick is the new standard that is the point I was making. … Soon enough there will be horse get aways were hundreds of foids go to a ranch for a weekend to get HORSED.
Many of MilkTeaPill’s fellow incels thought there was a good deal of merit to this argument.
Self-described AfrikanCel declared that Milk’s post was “High IQ,” and that “[f]oids disproportionately love big penis animals for this reason.”
“I remember one horse girl in class got questioned about stallions and she blushed hard,” wrote someone called HarvesterOfInceldom. “You knew she was fucking it.”
A few of the regulars were skeptical, noting that women often choose cats and rabbits — animals not exactly known for their gargantuan members — as pets. One even pointed to a survey suggesting that women prefer average-sized penises over (figuratively or literally) horse-sized dicks.
But Milk’s defenders had rebuttals. According to AfrikanCel, women love cats because they serve as substitute babies. But someone called Curious0 had what he saw as a better explanation:
They like male horses so they get fucked and female cats to get licked since most (all) women are bisexual.
There is so much wrongness packed into that sentence I think I will just give up and stop right here.
H/T — I found the strangely relevant horse cartoon on the @PanelPulp twitter account
@Buttercup:
Tomorrow’s incel headline today: “Girls have bacteria up there and yogurt is marketed mainly at girls. Guess why?”
(Substitute much worse slurs than just calling grown women “girls”)
“Girls go gaga for eclogites! Hard as rock any time they want it and known to sometimes bear diamonds.”
You can’t really get lower than formerly-subducted tectonic plates without having all the water baked and squeezed out of you.
Oh, on the whole rural-poor-person-owning-a-horse thing: isn’t the elephant in the room here the fact that this rural person owns land? And, if they keep horses on it, a substantial amount at that. I mean, unless sharecroppers are still a thing.
I’d always taken land ownership as automatic membership in (at least) the middle class. If all else fails you can sell it or borrow against it and move to the city with a sizable chunk of change to get you by until you land a job. I suppose if it’s already leveraged to the hilt, you’ve stayed put, and things don’t improve, then you’re in trouble, but you’re probably about to be foreclosed on anyway at that point, and an ex-land-owner can certainly be lower than middle class.
My verdict would be: unless that person’s in hock up to their eyeballs, or is (anachronistically?) a rural tenant farmer, they’re not really poor.
these people are… strange.
In other news, Pepe T. Trollfrog is sad… sad he is not getting the respect he so desperately craves….
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2018/07/trolls-and-the-trump-gop-are-sounding-awfully-alike.html
I know a few size queens that have some horse-related fantasies, but tehy’re just that: fantasies. They’re all furries, but none of them are interested in having sex with actual, non-humanoid horses.
Also, most of them are dudes, not ladies, so make of that what you will.
@ Buttercup, Surplus
Out of topic, but I could like an exterior look.
I know a lot of people in a particular wargaming community. The World Team Championship is approaching fast, and someone have dropped from one of the french team.
Now, there is three people interested and good enough for the position : one women, and two men, all of them my friends. (there are other, but thoses threes are head and shoulder above the other people who aren’t already in the teams)
Now, the woman is the one who have the less chance to get it, because in the past she refused to even try the selection tournament and because she play the same faction as another player in the team (think having two player in the same Overwatch roster playing the same hero).
Now, what did she do ? She is trying to attack the legitimacy of the other two, and I have seen her trying to convince the other two to not even try to get the place because of thoses legitimacy issues, which mostly are a load of bunks. I fear this will actually backfire on her, which is pretty sad because she legitimaly play extremely well. And I would highly dislike seeing the only competitive women in France in that game to stop competitions.
I also fear that she will feel like she lost face if she is not selected as replacement. I don’t know what to do, if anything, but I fear a bad conclusion to that, and I don’t know how to disarm that :/
I don’t think to be free of bias in that story, and that bias would likely go in favor of the two men. Dunno if there is any useful comment to do with that, but I suspect it’s a common enough occurence that maybe people will have similar story to share or useable advices.
The idea that owning land somehow makes a person middleclass is untrue and kind of offensive in that “people-who- have-refrigerators-aren’t-really-poor”kind of way. I am only going to speak for NY family dairy farms, (because that is the rural I know), but I suspect it applies to other small farmers, too.
I have known numerous poor farmers (struggled to put food on the table and qualified for public benefits) who “owned” decent chunks of land. Not all land is valuable or sought after. Land comes with expenses, like maintenance and taxes. Land can be (and often is) mortgaged beyond it’s value without any imminent risk of foreclosure. Many rural landowners struggle with their finance payments for their entire careers, but don’t actually lose the land. In NY, at least, you can be a few months (or more) behind on payments pretty much indefinitely and it just adds fees and fines. When my grandfather finally sold the family farm, after years of being too disabled to work it, he didn’t get a chunk of change to start in the city (a place where he wouldn’t know how to function), just a significant reduction in debt. That experience isn’t unusual or unique. Louis County, NY (nearest city is about an hour drive to either Utica or Rome) isn’t exactly a destination point and landowners there are owned by the banks. The only thing that makes them owners and not tenants is legalistic definitions of ownership where you can be responsible for something without having actual or substantial equity in it.
@Surplus:
Where I grew up, most working-class people with a horse or two would not own their own land; they’d keep the horse in someone else’s stable or barn (like with the cows at a dairy-farmer’s place) for a monthly fee. Obviously you won’t prioritize doing this if you’re dirt poor, and in the big city areas horse rent is high and you need a sizeable income. Where I grew up though, you can afford stable/barn rent for a horse or possibly even two while, say, working a factory job.
Now, if we look at small farms where you could keep your couple of horses in your own tiny stable and have them graze on a little field of your own (even though you’d still need to buy hay, because it’s not large enough to grow all the hay you need for the winter), and we’re still way out in the country, not within commuting distance of a big city, those farms are not expensive. Just looking at the national real estate web site, one near where I grew up was recently sold for 1,1 million SKr. That’s the equivalent of 126 000 US dollars. If you’re gonna try to convert that to an apartment in Stockholm county, say, it’s gonna buy you (checking real estate web site again) at the most a one-room apartment far away from the city, in a “non-nice” neighbourhood, where it takes an hour on the commuter trains to get to down town. And you’d have no change to spare after you bought it.
You could get something slightly better if you bought something in a smaller city, but yeah. That’s about it.
So the reason I say that where I grew up there were working-class people owning horses is really not that I have a completely twisted notion of what makes a person working-class. I’m really talking people with factory jobs and the like here.
Jennifer and I wrote at the same time. 🙂
Dublin is of course famous for people keeping horses on council estates.
@ Buttercup Q. Skullpants:
This is beginning to remind me of the greatest-ever Science-side-of-Tumblr thread — the one about the malachite stalactite.
I don’t have time to read the comments now, but I have to ask: Have any of these ridiculous people ever actualuly seen an erect horse penis?
Okay, so cats have really rough tongues which are used to clean themselves and to lick meat off the bones of their prey. Their tongues are extremely rough. This ought to go without saying, but even if you’re really into that sort of thing, it’s probably a fantasy rather then reality, because I really doubt anybody in the world wants cat tongues near their sensitive areas, and not only because it’s gross. Have these people ever met a cat?
(Once again, I’m stuck on the low-hanging fruit of their posts, but omg.)
@ Jennifer
Yes, what you said. It was pretty much the same where I grew up, in rural southwest North Dakota. The equipment for ranching and farming is a huge cost as well. I was a townie, but I remember hearing about combines regularly costing $250K or more – I have no idea what the cost these days after inflation and all.
@Talonknife
I was just going to say… yeah, there is a market out there for equine-shaped phalli, but it’s very much in an anthropomorphic context (anthro meaning “human”). Speaking as a furry, any fantasies I might have do require a fair amount of human anatomy that place them squarely in the realm of the fantastic (read: not in reality).
And as much as there are toys that are shaped like the anatomy of any number of beasts fantastical and otherwise, it’s not like that’s restricted to phalli. There are penetrable toys sculpted to depict any number of fantasy creatures as well.
As Prohass said:
Yeah, thanks for catering to that crowd, BadDragon.
In short, I’m willing to bet dollars to donuts this is pure projection on the part of the original poster. Ten bucks says there’s some furry stuff in his “Documents” folder.
What drugs are these people on and where can I get them? Actually, scratch that last one, they’re clearly no good.
Also, aren’t women more prone to having cats than dogs? Not sure how that fits into this neat little “logic” they’re cooking up here.
@ Alan Robertshaw
In each of those photos, it looks like the guys are about to fall off their horse.
It gives the impression there are random horses wandering around, and once in a while, someone just decides to hop on one as a challenge.
@Rhymenocerous
I attempted to do some research on this, and found a vaguely related video. It is certainly a thing.
Ok, so Trump puts tariffs on China. China retaliates by putting tariffs on US soy; putting US farmers in jeopardy. But China needs soy; so where does it turn to instead…
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/articles/2018-05-17/china-buys-record-amount-of-russian-soy-as-it-shuns-u-s-growers
So basically millions of dollars removed from US economy and sent straight to Trump’s election agent.
@Diego
I know that’s ‘common knowledge’ but is it actually true?
@Ohlmann, impossible to really say why she’s acting as she is, but I can tell you that most miniature gaming scenes are really hard for women to be in. They can be extremely weathering. That could easily be colouring her perception of tournaments and official events.
Like, I sure as hell wouldn’t want to go to any official tournaments, and my tanks regularly run roughshod over everything in their way. It’s draining enough dealing with my curated little collection of gamers. Going to a tournament? Holy noodle, no thank you.
As for why she’d be convincing others to not go as well? Lots of reasons that might be. A benign reason might be that she doesn’t want her group to start breaking apart as part starts getting serious and going to tournaments she wants nothing to do with. I really can’t tell whether that’s the case or not though, since I don’t know her at all. That’s just one possible reason.
@Dr. Thang
Sorry my duck, but filling in incel gaps is, like, the last thing I’d ever want to do ever. Unless you mean, like, cask-of-amontillado style.
@QuantumInc
Yeah, seconded. They … well. They believe it, but not in the literal sense. They use these ridiculous, awful statements as a metaphor for their deep hate of women. They’re just communicating “I hate women”, over and over, and are using new lenses for that same basic statement. It’s a group bonding thing.
Similar happens in the chans and alt-right spaces of the world I think. Like, if you corner an alt-right asshole with actual facts, they’ll eventually give way and admit that the facts are on your side – but it won’t matter, and they’ll say it doesn’t matter, because even if Trump lied about the wall being a big physical wall 80 feet high, what’s important is that he wants a barrier and wants to protect the borders and blah-blah-blah. Confront them about the fact that immigrants are a net positive and provide facts and eventually that won’t matter either.
None of this matters to them. It’s not about the truth statement at all. It’s about group membership and loyalty. And – let’s be real here, lots of human conversation is about group membership and loyalty. The interesting thing (for certain values of interesting) is that most of the progressive-space membership conversations revolve around helping people or the world, or opposing large, faceless social movements. Most of the conservative-space membership conversations revolve around the things they hate. (Don’t cite me on that, that’s just my surface evaluation, and I’m probably wrong)
Anyways, very interesting topic. Social signalling is a really neat area of discussion!
I’ll take “posts written with one hand” for 400 Alex.
@Dr. Thang: Wow, that’s a hell of a lot of overlap on that Venn diagram.
I think single women are more likely to have cats than dogs. Because single people are more likely to live in rentals or condos that don’t even allow dogs.
Married/cohabitating couples are more likely to be able to afford home ownership, so a lot of people do not get dogs until they are in a long term relationship.
That said, what’s so often ignored is that single men who live in rentals very often have cats instead of dogs too. Maybe not quite as often because there can still be a stigma around men liking cats, but based on my totally scientific personal observations, I think more men love cats than a lot of people think.
Oh, and in case everyone forgot, the US is not the only government turning to shit
https://www.independent.co.uk/voices/brexit-government-vote-animal-sentience-cant-feel-pain-eu-withdrawal-bill-anti-science-tory-mps-a8065161.html?amp&__twitter_impression=true
Figure Alan must be pissed about this one.
Well, of course women would prefer horses to incels. A horse might kill you by accident, but an incel will try on purpose.