By David Futrelle
Considering how little they actually ever talk to the, er, “femoids” that they constantly obsess over, it’s kind of remarkable how confident so-called “involuntary celibates” are that they understand the secret desires of women better than women themselves do.
Case in point: A thread on the Incels.me forum today devoted to discussing the proposition that “Women like animals proportionate to how big the animals dick is. Women do not care about small dick animals.”
The OP explained his hypothesis thusly:
In a series of followup comments, MilkTeaPill elaborated on one longtime obsession of internet lady haters — the notion that a significant portion of the human female population is having sex with dogs.
YEP every female that chose to get a dog and lives on her own is fucking that dog. And about 60% of girls that have a family dog have done something sexual with the dog.
He did not cite a source for this statistic. In fact, the percentage of women who have sex with animals is probably closer to 2 percent, according to the only survey I was able to find that seemed even vaguely reliable; the same survey suggested that men were more than twice as likely as women to have sex with animals. I would imagine that the percentage of zoophiles who actually let horses penetrate them is a tiny fraction of this, given that it can quite easily kill you.
But MilkTeaPill went on to insist that for many, er, “foids” — the favorite incel term for women — dogs were no longer enough. Be warned that the quotes that follow may spoil your dinner if this hasn’t happened already.
dog dicks aren’t big enough for foids these days. They need that BHD (Big Horse Dick). 1-2 feet of horse dick pounding their insides. …
They can’t get enough of that multi foot dick stretching out their human pussy. They love it when horses cum liters of horse seed into them. This is literally every foids dream. …
Horse dick is the new standard that is the point I was making. … Soon enough there will be horse get aways were hundreds of foids go to a ranch for a weekend to get HORSED.
Many of MilkTeaPill’s fellow incels thought there was a good deal of merit to this argument.
Self-described AfrikanCel declared that Milk’s post was “High IQ,” and that “[f]oids disproportionately love big penis animals for this reason.”
“I remember one horse girl in class got questioned about stallions and she blushed hard,” wrote someone called HarvesterOfInceldom. “You knew she was fucking it.”
A few of the regulars were skeptical, noting that women often choose cats and rabbits — animals not exactly known for their gargantuan members — as pets. One even pointed to a survey suggesting that women prefer average-sized penises over (figuratively or literally) horse-sized dicks.
But Milk’s defenders had rebuttals. According to AfrikanCel, women love cats because they serve as substitute babies. But someone called Curious0 had what he saw as a better explanation:
They like male horses so they get fucked and female cats to get licked since most (all) women are bisexual.
There is so much wrongness packed into that sentence I think I will just give up and stop right here.
H/T — I found the strangely relevant horse cartoon on the @PanelPulp twitter account
Ewwwwww. Just ewwwwww.
Other posters have addressed the fact that women also own small dogs and hamsters and bunnies that would be entirey impractical for that purpose (ewwwww). I would like to add that if a dog was used to do this, he would try do do this all the time, at home, in public, in the street, with the nice stranger lady who is petting him…
Those incels really should stop projecting.
Chimeric: Technically large, penetrating clitorises, but yes. Also, you’re not alone – I half connect it to the phenomenon of anything becoming a memorable catchphrase if you say it LOUD! AND! PUNCTUATED!
Drungarios didn’t say that, she said that very few people own stallions. And owning horses certainly is a popular hobby with very rich people, but if you live in a rural area you’ll probably know some horse owners who live a very hand to mouth existence and have the oldest car, clothes etc. One could argue that they’re not poor because they own horses (though ‘not poor’ and ‘very rich’ are a long way apart), but wealth is always relative.
And this all assumes we’re talking about rich western countries; outside that small part of the world there are many, many horse owners who are not rich at all.
There is definitely a model of horse ownership in which it’s a luxury to go alongside the SUV and the iPhone and the designer clothes, but there’s a lot more to horses than that.
I guess it’s a good thing that some of them noticed the contradiction around cats not having big dicks. (Also barbed!)
Thank the Devine for tender mercies I guess.
Once again we see an incel trying to convince the world his favourite porn fantasies are reality
Dude, you should keep this sort of thing between you and your internet service provider
I have never felt the slightest inclination to fuck any kind of an animal. Even if I wanted to, which I don’t, animals can’t consent so to my mind using them for sexual gratification is rape and is highly unpleasant. An animal is its own creature, not a fuck toy.
Hey guys, I think I just figured out incels.
Anyone wanna help me fill in the gaps?
On the topic of hyenas:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/oct/03/japanese-zoo-breeding-spotted-hyena
I think part of this is how they justify their “there’s only a very few men in the world women actually have sex with” stuff. Like, if only 10% of the world’s men are getting it, but women are insatiable sex-wanters, then obviously the women must be getting it form somewhere else and…I guess horses were the things with the biggest dicks they could think of.
Reminds me of an episode of the Oprah Winfrey show from ages ago where a psychologist called out the audience for booing the idea that “women cheat too” with “do you think all the men in the world are cheating with just the same handful of single ladies?” Except in that case, the audience actually had to listen to that since Oprah was letting the person speak and get the point across.
@Dr. Thang
I see no gaps, only succinct brilliance. It’s clear that you got your doctorate from a real university.
Why doesn’t the guy just give in and embrace pony play?
Seconding Jo in that I’ve known a whole bunch of working-class horse owners where I grew up (deep in the country-side). Not exactly poor people, but definitely working class.
Regarding horse-back riding breaking hymens…
Let’s all dispel with the myth that the hymen is some kind of seal or lid on the vagina (even with the caveat that “of course it has a hole in it where the menstrual blood comes out”) that at one point has to be “broken”. That’s incorrect. It’s just like… mucus membranes lining the vagina, and they might get a bit torn the first time or times you have sex, but not necessarily, because it’s not a lid with a hole in the middle, just lining (or, rather, a small minority of girls have something that more resembles a lid, but then you’re advised to go to a gynecologist and have it opened up by proper surgical means).
Lots of people with vaginas have PIV sex the first time and they don’t hurt or bleed, and then, because they’ve been taught all their lives about their vaginas having a lid on them, they’re like “ok I guess I broke it at some earlier point then, while riding a horse/jumping on a trampoline/doing literally anything”. But if you had a vagina lid that hurt and bled when it was torn up, wouldn’t you remember that one day you were horse-riding and suddenly you felt pain between your legs and when you took your clothes off afterwards there was blood in your pants?
I really think the discussion was up on Mammoth at some point before (but possibly I misremember and it was some other feminist site), but here we go again… A lot of people go “oh the hymen can break during all kinds of activities, like horse-riding and trampoline-jumping” as a way to make girls relax a bit more when they’re gonna have PIV sex the first time, like, don’t worry, it might not hurt and you might not bleed, and there’s definitely nothing wrong with you if you don’t hurt and bleed. So their intentions are good. But saying such things might have the effect of actually scaring girls from very conservative families, where it’s considered super important to preserve your vagina lid until your husband bursts through it at your wedding night. Girls from such families might end up living very passive lives, upon hearing these claims, for fear of tearing up their hymen prematurely. So better if everyone just tries to dispel the myth of the vagina lid.
Also, Comet the Super Horse who’s in love with Supergirl is not an actual horse. He was a centaur once who wanted to get magically turned into a man, but he was screwed over and was magically turned into a horse instead. Once in a while he managed to turn human, in which shape he’d woo Supergirl, who didn’t know he was the same person as her horse. So it was a pretty weird storyline BUT it’s not about an actual horse having a crush on Supergirl.
I think it’s some sort of ritual to temporarily aim their shame at somebody else. They’ve long since run out of quasi-plausible things to say and they’re just making stuff up. Letting go of their hate long enough to ask “Wait, do I really believe most women are guilty of bestiality?” is just too painful because any amount of self reflection feels like a knife to the gut. I doubt they say these things because they believe, I suspect that most alt-right groups function to weaken their members sense of truth. That these communities train people to stop distinguishing between true and false, correct and incorrect, plausible and saying-this-feels-vaguely-good. Speech serves a function, but here it is rarely communication.
I can only surmise that writers of such bizarre fantasy must be imagining themselves as the ‘foid’ in the scenario.
And certainly it is highly likely that many more men are having sex with animals, paraphilias of all types are male dominated.
”Research has shown that paraphilias are rarely observed in women. However, there have been some studies on females with paraphilias. Sexual masochism has been found to be the most commonly observed paraphilia in women, with approximately 1 in 20 cases of sexual masochism being female.”
@Kat
Thanks, but I meant the other sections of the venn diagram. So far, this is what I got:
What do yall think?
Cool graph!
Maybe Jordan Petersen should have “entitlement” too… I mean he talks about how white men have more power because they are more competent than other demographics, so when more power goes to other groups this is wrooooong! Seems pretty entitled to me.
@Dvärghundspossen
Good point. And come to think of it, the MRAs aren’t part of the “hating women” circle, so I messed that up.
On the off-changce that any Germans happen to read this blog: Are you now thinking of the infamous “Claudia” series of songs? I sure am. ? I’m so sorry, haha.
@zesty:
‘Claudia hat nen Schäferhund…’
@Jo
It is worth remembering that when you’re talking about ‘western’ countries, you’re really talking about a quarter of the world’s landmass and an eigth of its population. It ain’t a majority by any stretch, but it also ain’t a small part.
Regardless of your country’s westerness, a horse needs time and space and money (or at least those nebulous ‘resources’ that mgtows like so much) to keep running. If you’re urbanized, and more than half the world’s population are, that space is expensive and supplying enough food and water can be impractical or even downright impossible. It isn’t a just a western thing, or even a minority-of-the-world thing.
@Dr. Thang
Really that diagram should just be a circle.
Dr. Thang – maybe it’s more of a circle? MGTOWs also spout ridiculous figures and bullshit when taking about how unfair divorce law and taxes are.
Would libertarians and atheist logiclords fit into the space where MRAs are?
edit: ninja’d by Bakunin!
@Kat
Hypergeomy!
It’s well known that tectonic plates permanently alter the shape of the vagina. They also cause continents to hit the wall.
@JustDroppingBy
Cat tongues are only part of the problem. One of our cats loves to groom a hand or arm, and then grab a mouthful of human. It’s not a bite or snap; it’s almost like a variation on nursing behavior. But since he’s about 14-15 pounds, he can bite with more force than the average kitten.
So, letting a small predator with fangs near my delicate pink parts … noooooooooo, thank you. Especially since he uses that same tongue to wash his butt.
Ok, I think I fixed the diagram to make it easier to fit all the other groups in:
Hmm … maybe MRAs in the intersection of self-pity, misogyny, and entitlement, and MGTOWs in self-pity, misogyny, and bullshit? The MGTOW memes are bullshit, for sure, and they at least nominally have rejected the entitlement part in favor of “going their own way”. And self-pity, entitlement, and bullshit without misogyny clearly is where the climate deniers, Big Oil, Big Tobacco, and their ilk go. The intersection of just misogyny and entitlement (which you’d need to make a tetrahedral arrangement of four spheres to include without losing anything else) would have your bog-standard non-alt-right Republican voter.