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bestiality incels men who should not ever be with women ever misogyny

Women only like animals with big dicks because they love getting “horsed,” Incel weirdo hypothesizes

This Horsecel would beg to differ

By David Futrelle

Considering how little they actually ever talk to the, er, “femoids” that they constantly obsess over, it’s kind of remarkable how confident so-called “involuntary celibates” are that they understand the secret desires of women better than women themselves do.

Case in point: A thread on the Incels.me forum today devoted to discussing the proposition that “Women like animals proportionate to how big the animals dick is. Women do not care about small dick animals.”

The OP explained his hypothesis thusly:

MilkTeaPill Recruit - Today at 8:07 PM#1 Think about it you almost never see women care about small dick animals like hamsters. However girls go crazy for dogs and horses. Girls absolutely go crazy for horses because their dick are like at least a foot long. Have you seen the look in a girls eyes when she is with a horse? She is thinking of getting horsed and getting that BHC in her pounding her little human pussy into oblivion.

In a series of followup comments, MilkTeaPill elaborated on one longtime obsession of internet lady haters — the notion that a significant portion of the human female population is having sex with dogs.

YEP every female that chose to get a dog and lives on her own is fucking that dog. And about 60% of girls that have a family dog have done something sexual with the dog.

He did not cite a source for this statistic. In fact, the percentage of women who have sex with animals is probably closer to 2 percent, according to the only survey I was able to find that seemed even vaguely reliable; the same survey suggested that men were more than twice as likely as women to have sex with animals. I would imagine that the percentage of zoophiles who actually let horses penetrate them is a tiny fraction of this, given that it can quite easily kill you.

But MilkTeaPill went on to insist that for many, er, “foids” — the favorite incel term for women — dogs were no longer enough. Be warned that the quotes that follow may spoil your dinner if this hasn’t happened already. 

dog dicks aren’t big enough for foids these days. They need that BHD (Big Horse Dick). 1-2 feet of horse dick pounding their insides. …

They can’t get enough of that multi foot dick stretching out their human pussy. They love it when horses cum liters of horse seed into them. This is literally every foids dream. …

Horse dick is the new standard that is the point I was making. … Soon enough there will be horse get aways were hundreds of foids go to a ranch for a weekend to get HORSED.

Many of MilkTeaPill’s fellow incels thought there was a good deal of merit to this argument.

Self-described AfrikanCel declared that Milk’s post was “High IQ,” and that “[f]oids disproportionately love big penis animals for this reason.”

“I remember one horse girl in class got questioned about stallions and she blushed hard,” wrote someone called HarvesterOfInceldom. “You knew she was fucking it.”

A few of the regulars were skeptical, noting that women often choose cats and rabbits — animals not exactly known for their gargantuan members — as pets. One even pointed to a survey suggesting that women prefer average-sized penises over (figuratively or literally) horse-sized dicks.

But Milk’s defenders had rebuttals. According to AfrikanCel, women love cats because they serve as substitute babies. But someone called Curious0 had what he saw as a better explanation:

They like male horses so they get fucked and female cats to get licked since most (all) women are bisexual.

There is so much wrongness packed into that sentence I think I will just give up and stop right here.

H/T — I found the strangely relevant horse cartoon on the @PanelPulp twitter account

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Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

So that’s why she’s always hanging round with that blue whale. I should have known he wasn’t really giving her tennis lessons; he never had a racquet with him.

Traci
Traci
2 years ago

If his argument was valid…Ducks would be the most popular animal – ever-

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
2 years ago

Why do these guys think about having sex with animals constantly, yet project that shit onto women?

Drungarios
Drungarios
2 years ago

So speaking as a horseman who hangs out with a lot of horsewomen, there’s so much wrong with this post, and not even in the way you think. For one, *very* few people own stallions; the vast majority of riding horses out there are mares or geldings. How “foids” are supposed to have sex with them is beyond me.

That said, according to my horsewomen friends, there is something a wee bit Freudian about the appeal of horses. It’s not so much OMG BHD as it is, as one friend put it, “the sense of power that comes with having 1800 pounds of animal strength between your legs.”

hashtag_ravenclaw
hashtag_ravenclaw
2 years ago

He did not cite a source for this statistic. In fact, the percentage of women who have sex with animals is probably closer to 2 percent, according to the only survey I was able to find that seemed even vaguely reliable; the same survey suggested that men were more than twice as likely as women to have sex with animals. I would imagine that the percentage of zoophiles who actually let horses penetrate them is a tiny fraction of this, given that it can quite easily kill you.

David, I appreciate the sacrifices you must make to bring us this content… but do you sometimes wonder if your browsing history has landed you on an FBI watchlist?

Diptych
Diptych
2 years ago

Two percent seems awfully high…

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

I was wondering how cat ladies fit into this considering kitties have tiny penises. So glad to see they were able to work cats into their little hypothesis.

Why are reactionaries so obsessed with bestiality? It’s not like this is a new thing that incels and MGTOWs came up. Religious conservatives do it to with their elaborate fantasies fears of gay rights being a slippery slop to bestiality.

I just…why?

It is interesting to compare the fears of progressives with the fears of reactionaries. We fear that our rights or the rights of others will be taken away. We fear that we or others will be harmed by bad policy. They have lurid fantasies about bestiality and men of color and/or refugees cucking white men. Sometimes they just fear that people will have too much or won’t suffer enough. The inside of a right winger’s brain must just be such a strange and terrifying place.

Hippodameia
Hippodameia
2 years ago

I have no words.

Prohass
Prohass
2 years ago

And yet so many incels seem obsessed with sexualising my little pony

JustDroppingBy
JustDroppingBy
2 years ago

Obviously that last guy has never been licked by a cat. Their tongues are literally covered with sharp, stabby little barbs, designed to lick flesh off of bones. This is not something most people want anywhere on their bodies, much less the delicate genitalia! Also, I’m a little concerned about how he thinks these pussy-licking pussies are being trained… It took me MONTHS to train mine to sit, then sit up, and even now he’ll only do it if I’m holding food. Honestly, the mental gymnastics these guys do, it’s EXHAUSTING to follow.

Podkayne Lives
Podkayne Lives
2 years ago

I am reminded of a Dan Savage anecdote: Dan was interviewing a guy for radio who was, in fact, having sex with a horse. Dan was trying to think of questions…you know, after the, “So, you have sex with a horse, and you’re willing to tell the world?”

So he asked if it was a male or female horse. And the guy said, very indignant, “Sir, I am not a homosexual.”

So yeah.

These guys do realize that the story about Catherine the Great isn’t true, right?

EVal78
EVal78
2 years ago

Sooo….if women aren’t interested in “small dick” animals like hamsters, does that mean that most hamsters (and by extension other small animals) are owned by men? I’ve owned multiple rats over the years (as in 25+… I’m a semi-reformed crazy rat lady) as well as a couple hamsters and bunnies. There are ceetainly men who own these pets, but they are far from the majority in my experience.

Also, have these people never seen a woman with a female pet? We currently have a pitbull and a bunny, both female (and who are best buddies, which is adorable).

And lastly….eeeeewwwww

Msexceptiontotherule
Msexceptiontotherule
2 years ago

Good lord are they seriously so warped as to come up with this animal sex shit!?

Women aren’t engaging in bestiality, and they aren’t having sex with hateful incels or the still not gone their own way dudes. How unfair that women get to decide who (or what?) they have sex with.

(Not really, it’s perfectly fair).

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
2 years ago

Another bizarre discussion between power-tripping incels? Must be a day that ends in “day.”

calmdown
calmdown
2 years ago

I’m so glad that animals will never know all the shit that humans project onto them.

Paradoxical Intention - Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Okay, I need to just…(deep breath)

First of all, aren’t women stereotyped as having smaller, “yappier” dogs like chihuahuas and the like? Little enough to dress up and put in their purse and such? Clearly a toy terrier isn’t exuding the Big Dick Energy, so we’re already off to a stellar fucking start with this “theory”.

Second of all, as previously mentioned by Drungarios, very few people own horses. They’re a pet for very rich people, and even if they were just being rented to ride, I highly doubt that a person can rent them and then sneak off to…fuck the horse. Like, someone would notice, yeah? And if we’re talking about the owners, I highly doubt they’re being fucked by the animal, because one, that could actually kill you, and two, they’re super expensive animals that are prized for being bred with ANOTHER FUCKING HORSE.

Third of all, a lot of women own female pets. So, unless their pet is a hyena, they very likely won’t have dicks.

TMI WARNING

I mean, I’m a self professed size queen, and I do own a non-human shaped dildo or two. However, I know I’m the exception not the rule, and I’m aware that you can actually HURT YOURSELF if you’re not careful with what you’re shoving in your magic carpetbag in terms of shape and size. I also would never fuck an animal, because WTF.

TMI WARNING

Like, these dudes are fucking projecting super hard. And that’s weird, even by my standards. And yet it doesn’t ever occur to them that they can’t get a date because they think this way, not because of whatever physical attribute is their downfall this week.

Can you imagine though? They finally get what they want, they get a date with an HB10 pure virginal girl, but she rides horses on occasion. I would totally be a fly on the wall for that conversation when he confronts her about cheating on him with a horse.

I mean, to be fair, she’d likely be scarred for life (and dump him because what the actual fuck), but holy shit.

Catalpa
Catalpa
2 years ago

Women clearly like cats because, while they do not have actual big dicks, they have MASSIVE qualities of Big Dick Energy.

Out of curiosity, are we women supposed to rank animals based on total penis size, or proportional penis size to the animal’s body? If it’s the former, you’d expect whales and elephants to be overwhelmingly the favorite animal for women. If it’s the latter, ducks and barnacles would be top of the heap. I need to know this criteria so I can update my preferences accordingly. Also, how do I rank animals like snakes that have two penes?

calmdown
calmdown
2 years ago

There’s also that myth about horseback riding breaking girls hymens, (I mean, I assume that could happen but that could be caused by lots of other non-intercourse things too, not just horseback riding) as if this wasn’t fucked up enough.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

It’s like some kind of competition to be lower than the lowest scum of the earth. Apparently women will fuck anything that moves, except for incels, which means incels are less than animals on their own self-rating scale. They’re just going to keep on digging until they get below beetles, worms, and single-celled organisms. Pretty soon we’ll be hearing about how women are secretly getting it on with the earth’s mantle.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

“Magic carpetbag” 🤣

I live not far from Enumclaw and people from there hate how often that guy is brought up. But he did manage to get bestiality outlawed in the state.

I used to keep lizards and snakes. What does that mean?

Zaunfink
Zaunfink
2 years ago

Seconding kupo on the joy over “magic carpetbag”. Sometimes I hate that I’m not surrounded by English-speaking people, because I can’t use the great things I learn here…

Paradoxical intention, when you said size queen my mind went very, very strange places with the “resident cheeseburger slut”-part of your name. Along the lines of “if it were possible, I wonder if the kind of advertising burger King does would be particularly disappointing”. I need more sleep.

Also, I want to go ride a horse now.

Diptych
Diptych
2 years ago

Have it your way at the home of the Whopper?

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
2 years ago

@Buttercup Q. Skullpants

The mantle encloses the hot core rich in iron and nickel, which makes up about 15% of Earth’s volume.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mantle_(geology)

Go lower. What about the hot, rich core of the Earth? Is this who Chads (by my estimate, 15 percent of all men) really are?

ChimericMind
ChimericMind
2 years ago

Back up there, Paradoxical Intention– were you saying that female hyenas have penises? Serious question, because the animal kingdom is always stranger than I ever knew.

Secondly, in reference to this: http://bogleech.tumblr.com/post/175695553893/dyingwhiledabbing-bogleech-im-gonna-say-hes

Does anyone else feel like I do? You know, I could see people just kind of quietly sitting around, kind of bored or confused, but silently tolerating the speech. But seeing people actively laughing along and cheering during this…honestly, it upsets me even more than seeing people cheering him saying horrible things, because at least I can make sense of that: horrible people enjoying a horrible person saying horrible things back to them is a time-tested form of entertainment. But seeing people cheering this makes me seriously worry that reality is…broken in some terrible way, and I’m watching at the seams flay apart…

David S.
David S.
2 years ago

@ChimericMind Yes, female spotted hyenas have a pseudo-penis that they urinate, copulate and give birth through.

Passagère clandestine
Passagère clandestine
2 years ago

Ewwwwww. Just ewwwwww.

Other posters have addressed the fact that women also own small dogs and hamsters and bunnies that would be entirey impractical for that purpose (ewwwww). I would like to add that if a dog was used to do this, he would try do do this all the time, at home, in public, in the street, with the nice stranger lady who is petting him…

Those incels really should stop projecting.

Diptych
Diptych
2 years ago

Chimeric: Technically large, penetrating clitorises, but yes. Also, you’re not alone – I half connect it to the phenomenon of anything becoming a memorable catchphrase if you say it LOUD! AND! PUNCTUATED!

Jo
Jo
2 years ago

Second of all, as previously mentioned by Drungarios, very few people own horses. They’re a pet for very rich people

Drungarios didn’t say that, she said that very few people own stallions. And owning horses certainly is a popular hobby with very rich people, but if you live in a rural area you’ll probably know some horse owners who live a very hand to mouth existence and have the oldest car, clothes etc. One could argue that they’re not poor because they own horses (though ‘not poor’ and ‘very rich’ are a long way apart), but wealth is always relative.

And this all assumes we’re talking about rich western countries; outside that small part of the world there are many, many horse owners who are not rich at all.

There is definitely a model of horse ownership in which it’s a luxury to go alongside the SUV and the iPhone and the designer clothes, but there’s a lot more to horses than that.

Mike Smith
Mike Smith
2 years ago

I guess it’s a good thing that some of them noticed the contradiction around cats not having big dicks. (Also barbed!)

Thank the Devine for tender mercies I guess.

Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
Violet the Vile, Moonbat Screech Junky
2 years ago

Once again we see an incel trying to convince the world his favourite porn fantasies are reality

Dude, you should keep this sort of thing between you and your internet service provider

I have never felt the slightest inclination to fuck any kind of an animal. Even if I wanted to, which I don’t, animals can’t consent so to my mind using them for sexual gratification is rape and is highly unpleasant. An animal is its own creature, not a fuck toy.

Dr. Thang
Dr. Thang
2 years ago

Hey guys, I think I just figured out incels.

comment image

Anyone wanna help me fill in the gaps?

Passagère clandestine
Passagère clandestine
2 years ago

On the topic of hyenas:

https://www.theguardian.com/world/2014/oct/03/japanese-zoo-breeding-spotted-hyena

Zookeepers in Japan have abandoned a years-long attempt to have two spotted hyenas mate and reproduce as both turned out to be male.

(…)

Kami, the supposedly female hyena now five years old, showed no estrus symptoms after reaching sexual maturity, prompting the zoo to put it and its six-year-old partner Kamutori to sex tests.

“We have determined that the two animals are both male after conducting ultrasound imaging and hormone tests on them under anaesthesia,” the statement said.

The zoo explained that it is extremely difficult to determine the sex of a spotted hyena from the appearance of its external genitalia.

Kereea
Kereea
2 years ago

I think part of this is how they justify their “there’s only a very few men in the world women actually have sex with” stuff. Like, if only 10% of the world’s men are getting it, but women are insatiable sex-wanters, then obviously the women must be getting it form somewhere else and…I guess horses were the things with the biggest dicks they could think of.

Reminds me of an episode of the Oprah Winfrey show from ages ago where a psychologist called out the audience for booing the idea that “women cheat too” with “do you think all the men in the world are cheating with just the same handful of single ladies?” Except in that case, the audience actually had to listen to that since Oprah was letting the person speak and get the point across.

Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
Kat, ambassador of the feminist government in exile
2 years ago

@Dr. Thang
I see no gaps, only succinct brilliance. It’s clear that you got your doctorate from a real university.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
2 years ago

Why doesn’t the guy just give in and embrace pony play?

Dvärghundspossen
Dvärghundspossen
2 years ago

Seconding Jo in that I’ve known a whole bunch of working-class horse owners where I grew up (deep in the country-side). Not exactly poor people, but definitely working class.

Regarding horse-back riding breaking hymens…

Let’s all dispel with the myth that the hymen is some kind of seal or lid on the vagina (even with the caveat that “of course it has a hole in it where the menstrual blood comes out”) that at one point has to be “broken”. That’s incorrect. It’s just like… mucus membranes lining the vagina, and they might get a bit torn the first time or times you have sex, but not necessarily, because it’s not a lid with a hole in the middle, just lining (or, rather, a small minority of girls have something that more resembles a lid, but then you’re advised to go to a gynecologist and have it opened up by proper surgical means).
Lots of people with vaginas have PIV sex the first time and they don’t hurt or bleed, and then, because they’ve been taught all their lives about their vaginas having a lid on them, they’re like “ok I guess I broke it at some earlier point then, while riding a horse/jumping on a trampoline/doing literally anything”. But if you had a vagina lid that hurt and bled when it was torn up, wouldn’t you remember that one day you were horse-riding and suddenly you felt pain between your legs and when you took your clothes off afterwards there was blood in your pants?

I really think the discussion was up on Mammoth at some point before (but possibly I misremember and it was some other feminist site), but here we go again… A lot of people go “oh the hymen can break during all kinds of activities, like horse-riding and trampoline-jumping” as a way to make girls relax a bit more when they’re gonna have PIV sex the first time, like, don’t worry, it might not hurt and you might not bleed, and there’s definitely nothing wrong with you if you don’t hurt and bleed. So their intentions are good. But saying such things might have the effect of actually scaring girls from very conservative families, where it’s considered super important to preserve your vagina lid until your husband bursts through it at your wedding night. Girls from such families might end up living very passive lives, upon hearing these claims, for fear of tearing up their hymen prematurely. So better if everyone just tries to dispel the myth of the vagina lid.

Dvärghundspossen
Dvärghundspossen
2 years ago

Also, Comet the Super Horse who’s in love with Supergirl is not an actual horse. He was a centaur once who wanted to get magically turned into a man, but he was screwed over and was magically turned into a horse instead. Once in a while he managed to turn human, in which shape he’d woo Supergirl, who didn’t know he was the same person as her horse. So it was a pretty weird storyline BUT it’s not about an actual horse having a crush on Supergirl.

QuantumInc
QuantumInc
2 years ago

I think it’s some sort of ritual to temporarily aim their shame at somebody else. They’ve long since run out of quasi-plausible things to say and they’re just making stuff up. Letting go of their hate long enough to ask “Wait, do I really believe most women are guilty of bestiality?” is just too painful because any amount of self reflection feels like a knife to the gut. I doubt they say these things because they believe, I suspect that most alt-right groups function to weaken their members sense of truth. That these communities train people to stop distinguishing between true and false, correct and incorrect, plausible and saying-this-feels-vaguely-good. Speech serves a function, but here it is rarely communication.

ellesar
ellesar
2 years ago

I can only surmise that writers of such bizarre fantasy must be imagining themselves as the ‘foid’ in the scenario.

And certainly it is highly likely that many more men are having sex with animals, paraphilias of all types are male dominated.

”Research has shown that paraphilias are rarely observed in women. However, there have been some studies on females with paraphilias. Sexual masochism has been found to be the most commonly observed paraphilia in women, with approximately 1 in 20 cases of sexual masochism being female.”

Dr. Thang
Dr. Thang
2 years ago

@Kat
Thanks, but I meant the other sections of the venn diagram. So far, this is what I got:

comment image

What do yall think?

Dvärghundspossen
Dvärghundspossen
2 years ago

Cool graph!

Maybe Jordan Petersen should have “entitlement” too… I mean he talks about how white men have more power because they are more competent than other demographics, so when more power goes to other groups this is wrooooong! Seems pretty entitled to me.

Dr. Thang
Dr. Thang
2 years ago

@Dvärghundspossen

Good point. And come to think of it, the MRAs aren’t part of the “hating women” circle, so I messed that up.

zesty
zesty
2 years ago

On the off-changce that any Germans happen to read this blog: Are you now thinking of the infamous “Claudia” series of songs? I sure am. 😉 I’m so sorry, haha.

Knitting Cat Lady
Knitting Cat Lady
2 years ago

@zesty:

‘Claudia hat nen Schäferhund…’

Pie
Pie
2 years ago

@Jo

And this all assumes we’re talking about rich western countries; outside that small part of the world there are many, many horse owners who are not rich at all.

It is worth remembering that when you’re talking about ‘western’ countries, you’re really talking about a quarter of the world’s landmass and an eigth of its population. It ain’t a majority by any stretch, but it also ain’t a small part.

Regardless of your country’s westerness, a horse needs time and space and money (or at least those nebulous ‘resources’ that mgtows like so much) to keep running. If you’re urbanized, and more than half the world’s population are, that space is expensive and supplying enough food and water can be impractical or even downright impossible. It isn’t a just a western thing, or even a minority-of-the-world thing.

Bakunin
Bakunin
2 years ago

@Dr. Thang
Really that diagram should just be a circle.

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

Dr. Thang – maybe it’s more of a circle? MGTOWs also spout ridiculous figures and bullshit when taking about how unfair divorce law and taxes are.

Would libertarians and atheist logiclords fit into the space where MRAs are?

edit: ninja’d by Bakunin!

@Kat

Go lower. What about the hot, rich core of the Earth?

Hypergeomy!

It’s well known that tectonic plates permanently alter the shape of the vagina. They also cause continents to hit the wall.

Victorious Parasol
Victorious Parasol
2 years ago

@JustDroppingBy

Cat tongues are only part of the problem. One of our cats loves to groom a hand or arm, and then grab a mouthful of human. It’s not a bite or snap; it’s almost like a variation on nursing behavior. But since he’s about 14-15 pounds, he can bite with more force than the average kitten.

So, letting a small predator with fangs near my delicate pink parts … noooooooooo, thank you. Especially since he uses that same tongue to wash his butt.

Dr. Thang
Dr. Thang
2 years ago

Ok, I think I fixed the diagram to make it easier to fit all the other groups in:

comment image

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

Hmm … maybe MRAs in the intersection of self-pity, misogyny, and entitlement, and MGTOWs in self-pity, misogyny, and bullshit? The MGTOW memes are bullshit, for sure, and they at least nominally have rejected the entitlement part in favor of “going their own way”. And self-pity, entitlement, and bullshit without misogyny clearly is where the climate deniers, Big Oil, Big Tobacco, and their ilk go. The intersection of just misogyny and entitlement (which you’d need to make a tetrahedral arrangement of four spheres to include without losing anything else) would have your bog-standard non-alt-right Republican voter.

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