By David Futrelle
A quarter of a century ago, in his seminal The Myth of Male Power, Men’s Rights Activist Warren Farrell warned hapless, horny males of the danger of “miniskirt power” — that is, the hypnotizing power of shapely female asses, which devious women can apparently use to have their (financial) way with men who ostensibly have more power than them. Damn those conniving harpies and their short, short skirts!
Today, men — well, horny straight men anyway — face what some consider a far more insidious enemy: Yoga pants, the allegedly comfortable lower-half coverups popular with the devious, man-exploiting harpies of the current age.
Well, the brave souls of the Men Going Their Own Way movement are having none of it. Here is the MGTOW case against yoga pants, based on my perusal of several dozen recent postings on the subject in the MGTOW subreddit.
Make sure not to laugh at any of these, as the threat of yoga pants is very, very serious and not just some ridiculous crap these guys have come up with to make themselves feel like they’re being oppressed by women who won’t date them they REFUSE to date.
Yoga pants are so tight it’s like these sluts are walking around naked and basically it’s sexual harassment because biology makes men perpetually horny.
“Wearing yoga pants to work is sexual harassment,” Baldrbaldr complains.
And the bullshit about “men just needing to control themselves?” Well, it’s bullshit. Men can’t but become seriously distracted when half-naked women prance around them. It’s the way we’re made. It’s biology. So fuck off, you bare assed bitches. We’re working.
“Females are an expensive, unknown distraction,” adds fcb98292, sounding a little bit like Jordan Peterson. “I require segregated offices.”
Actually they make women look better than they look naked, which is somehow worse than looking like they’re naked because it’s a LIE or something.
“You don’t know what they look like naked,” greenleefs informs his fellow MGTOWs. “Those pants lift and squish together.”
Yoga pants enable women to use their ass power to extract wealth from hardworking betas and sex from Chads.
As one [deleted] commenter sees it:
The yoga pants is to show off their ass so that Chad and beta bucks (depending on which they are stalking) will drool on himself while he throws sex and cash at her.
Yoga pants are basically HiDef streaming porn videos.
Raisins3142 explains:
I think in part they are trying to compete with high speed internet + free internet porn.
Sometimes fat ladies wear them and, ew, gross.
As ilikerelish puts it:
There should be limits to where they are worn, and there should be a WEIGHT LIMIT for wearing yoga or legging pants.
Bing_Bang_Bam is similarly outraged that “[e]ven fat cows that have rolls and folds that shouldn’t even be there” wear yoga pants — a true “[c]rime against nature.”
Sometimes skinny old ladies wear them and you’re tricked into thinking that they look hot and this is very confusing
Hegend1999 laments those times “[w]hen you see a good ass in leggings and she turns around then you see that she’s like 70yo…”
Iqbal40862715 is similarly confused that he finds himself attracted to very much older women.
Yoga pants are a net nagative. They make everyone look good and it’s a total mind fuck.
Saw this 80 year old broad in a bathing suit the other day at a pool. She was probably an Elvis groupie in the 50s/legit perfect 10. Now she is cute and in good shape but wrinkly and old.
Goes into a bathroom to change Puts on yoga pants meets up with the grandkids and sure enough looks awesome.
Apparently women in yoga pants can jump right over that mythical wall they’re all supposed to hit at the age of 30 or so.
They’re not actually comfortable
“They aren’t comfortable,” asserts LJHova, “that’s just the excuse they use to convince themselves they aren’t whores.”
.They smell like ass (probably).
“I call them stink butts,” SirLonius explains.
You know women wear them multiple times before washing them and just a thin layer between butthole and the outside world.
They enable women to easily engage in casual workplace frottage with hunky dudes
According to Jcart105,
It’s comfy when Chad grinds his cock separated by the [layer] of his pants and thin layer of her yoga pants in the middle of work.
Er, what?
Seeing women in yoga pants is sort of like seeing attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion, or something.
Global_MGTOW sheds some tears in the rain:
I’ve seen it all already. I’ve seen women wearing a see through shirt in a very public place with thousands of people, including children, showing off her rocket tits implants. I’ve seen girls wearing mini skirts so small that you can constantly see their panties with zero effort. Seen obese landwhales wearing yoga pants with the words “JUICY” written across the back.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.
Ok, I added that bit from Blade Runner at the end. Because, you know, these guys aren’t melodramatic enough already — and trying way too hard to convince themselves and each other of the existential horror of, basically, tight sweatpants.
Seriously, dudes? Seriously?
@Imaginary Petal
So I’ve heard. The women aren’t so hot and the men aren’t so hung, though.
I like butts and it is always good to see someone has a nice butt, yoga pants or no yoga pants. and because i like men and women there are lots of nice butts in the world. but somehow I can live with this and also work in my job and not behave like a creepy fuckhead. ? I think it is because these men “going their own way” ? are so entitled they think that because they are aroused or they think someone is attractive it is the problem of everyone else that they are too sexy or something – not what it really is, a private issue which they should learn is private and shut up. it is also entitlement from this idea that if they think someone is attractive then that person owes them something (attention, relationship, sexual interest), like there opinion is so important it is like a gift to the person they find attractive, and that person should be greatful.
unless I am in intimate relationship with someone I do not want to know what you think about my appearance, about that you think i am sexy or not sexy or what sexual things you want to do with me. simply, it is not okay and it is asshole behaviour, especially in places where people work or just live ordinary life. and it is not important at all what clothes someone wears – your comments are not necessary and no one owes you anything just because you think they are attractive.
@Valentin
What? Whoa. That’s a real kick in the kneecaps of the patriarchy.
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
I find yoga pants annoying because they have no pockets. That being said, the pair I own is gray. I’m not sure how I could possibly look naked in this item, considering that my skin is not gray.
MGTOWS, once again complaining about the ebil harpees rather than going their own way.
What the fuck? You would have to never shower or wipe your ass for this to even be an issue. Now I’m concerned about their personal hygiene.
If your response to someone wearing yoga pants is to lose your friggin’ mind, then maybe the pants aren’t the real problem.
Whatever time you spend on this beyond the first, quick glance is a choice you make. If your choices are making you miserable, maybe try making different choices.
People suggesting they masturbate are missing out on one of the key points of MGTOW theology– that you shouldn’t do it, because it “weakens” you and chains you to women. Which of course, is a key element to keeping them in a perpetually frothing, frustrated rage. There’s a reason memeplexes tend to hit upon certain key elements again and again– because the self-sustaining ones survive more easily. Any theology (and make no mistake, it is essentially a religion here) that can hit a nice feedback loop like this works out better.
@sylvia bath: I take it you haven’t heard the more unwelcome revelations about Roosh V’s sanitary habits?
@ChimericMind
Yeah I’ve often wondered why manospherians don’t just masturbate, especially because they have no interest in communicating or having any human connection with their sex partners at all. I kind of think they don’t actually want to relieve their sexual frustration because it fuels their victim complex and worldview.
Also, these guys are MGTOWs! Why should it concern them what women are wearing at all?
@ChimericMind
I did not know that!
Also, it seems to me that masturbation would free a MGTOW from thinking about women quite so much.
Finally, I’m pretty sure that most MGTOWs are not devout MGTOWs, if you know what I mean.
Here in Sweden it’s becoming more and more common for men to wear leggings with nothing on top when they work out. It used to be that men sometimes wore leggings when they went running but always with a pair of shorts on top, but during the last years or so it’s become pretty common for men to wear just leggings and a t-shirt both when running and working out in the gym. I really wonder what the MGTOW would make of that? Is that oppression of women? Nah, obviously not, since only men can be oppressed…
I think this might be a Scandinavian thing though, that you don’t really see in other places… Same with tight trousers for men… For some reason we were discussing clothes in the lunch room at work at one point, and I said I prefer men’s clothes most of the time. This French post doc goes “but you have tight trousers” and I said “yeah but they’re male tight trousers” and he’s like “that’s so weird and this is why I buy all my trousers when I’m back in France visiting!”.
@Dvärghundspossen
Men wearing yoga pants is yet another way in which men are oppressed, since straight men are now at risk of checking out/enjoying a man-butt while believing it’s a woman-butt. This process turns straight men gay.
@ dvarghundspossen
No, no no. What we wear, despite appearing to be leggings, are in fact ‘compression pants’, and they’re ‘tactical’ or something, so that’s ok. 🙂
@Imaginary Petal:
RIGHT! Also, if you impolitely ogle a guy’s crotch when he’s working out in these pants you can clearly tell his dick size, so it’s another way that big-dicked Chads can oppress small-dicked betas.
@Dvärghundspossen
Stupid sexy Flanders.
@Alan Robertshaw:
Right! Everyone’s gotta wear compression pants now! Even though any effect they might have on your muscles is pretty much unproven!
It still seems to be a pure fashion thing that men began ditching the shorts that they previously wore on top.
Hello.
Wow, Raisins3142 is quite sour. (Badumpshh ?)
> Imaginary Petal
Dashing pants, i suppose ?
The sentence i understand the less is the “Females are an expensive, unknown distraction” stuff.
How can it be a distraction if it is unknown ? If you do not know its existence, how can it be distracting ? Unless they are acknowledging they really do not know women at all ? That would make more sense. But i have this weird feeling that “making sense” and their “logic” is somewhat incompatible. But my beta mind is probably to weak and unable to catch the quintessence of their logic.
Speaking of expensive distraction, i hope he does not wrote his rant from his workplace…
Have a nice day (and hope you are not melting like i am).
A bunch of these mgtow comments are from a thread by someone saying that yoga pants had recently been banned at his workplace (which he thought was great) hence the weird focus on that issue. I don’t think many workplaces allow them.
The we hunted the mammoth office dress code is extremely lax.
@David F.
I understand that your two office mates are routinely, flagrantly, furrily naked.
In my experience, masturbation (ejaculation) doesn’t really alleviate sexual obsessions/frustration, inasmuch as that’s something I’ve experienced. The effect passes very quickly, so you’d have to wank all the time. If you feel bad about not being able to fulfill your fantasies, it might be easier to avoid those fantasies, even if that means less masturbation.
@IP
Sweatpants have broadband.
OT: a woman video game developer was fired for being frustrated at being mansplained to. Here’s the twitter thread she was fired for.
https://twitter.com/Delafina777/status/1014554296107483136?s=19
@Alan
Oh my god yes. Sure, compression clothing is tighter and thicker, but this whole re-branding of techniques that have been marketed to women for years is fascinating.
‘Crash diets’, or drop a dress size by Friday, for example: men now do ‘cutting’ or ‘shredding’, and there’s a whole system of bro-science to give it legitimacy. Gym junkie men have quasi-religious discussions about supplements and protein and ketogenic diets.
Anyhoo, yoga pants, love them – when I’m at home (totally agree re the pocket deficit). Super comfy. As a short person, they probably look terrible on me. I’ll not lose any sleep over that.
Back when I worked for a video game company in the ’90s, the best programmer they had was rather famous for both his utter lack of social graces and the fact that he could essentially get away with anything and not get fired. Fortunately, he wasn’t a creep, so all of his infractions were related to being oblivious rather than being shitty to others.
The most famous example involved one of the salespeople bringing a group of investors into a conference room for a meeting. As she opened the door, she noticed that the coder was asleep on the leather couch. She quickly turned around and started hustling the group to a different conference room; as they were leaving, everyone heard the loud, unmistakable shrrrrrrrrrrp as the coder got up from the couch. He was sleeping in his underwear and probably hadn’t showered in a week or two (which was pretty normal for him).
HR never said a word about it.
Buttercup has puns.
That was beautiful.
As a…what is it they call me? A landwhale? Right – a landwhale. As a landwhale who loves leggings, I am thrilled to learn my love makes the migtoes unhappy. So thrilled I am considering shortening all my tunics so a view of my posterior is more readily available.