By David Futrelle
Happy New Civil War Day! Alex Jones sort of blew our cover the other day, announcing that all of us Leftist Antifa Democrats were set to launch the civil war today.
I’m still stuck at home loading my vast arsenal of guns — mostly squirt and potato — and also I kind of slept late but I trust that the new civil war is going swimmingly out there. I mean, I haven’t seen anything on the news about it but I’m assuming that’s because you all are as stealthy as ninjas. HAIL VICTORY! I’ll return to regular posting tomorrow after we’ve won the war.
Well, there was that lady trying to climb the statue of liberty…
Let’s check the link.
Well, must be nasty.
I’m wearing antifa black today because there’s no way in hell I’m about to wear patriotic colors right now and I’m also continuing to do white genocide by not having a white baby with a Nazi.
The hashtag #SecondCivilWarLetters is trending on Twitter today, with a bunch of mockery of Alex Jones, Trump, and MAGA.
I’m doing the same as WWTH, but then, I almost always wear antifa black anyway, and I am not american.
Globalist/Antifa-collusion confirmed!
As far as I can tell, the only war being waged is by Jones et al on truth. Still, if any of you do feel like rising up today against…I dunno, the lack of funny snake videos on YouTube, all I can say is go comrades! Punch a Nazi for me while you’re at it.
What superhero is that in the op? I don’t recognize her
Looks like an early Miss Victory (https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Miss_Victory), and that in her later days Miss Victory’s costume got a lot less… costumey. I kind of like the look in the post. Good collar. Nice punchin’ gloves. Exceptional almost-smirk. Pity about being named for an actor that I knew was a horrible person and have recently been learning was a HORRIBLE PERSON, and also the “high waist NO THIGH COVERAGE”.
We’re launching a civil war today? Did I miss a memo?
I meant to only give the two line joke, but this kind of incitement and propaganda brings violence and division to the top of people’s minds. So short-sighted and irresponsible on the part of Alex Jones.
@Warthog. Jebus she looks like a stripper. Down with this sort of thing.
A new civil war?
Oh thank Goddess, I was worried that it’d be un-civil.
Ready with the Poutine Cannon and the 5.5% beer, mon capitaine!
So I guess tomorrow Jones is going to be patting himself on the back and bragging about how he stopped this new civil war by bravely exposing the evil left wing plot before it could be put into action.
I led my local squad of Hufflepuffs to victory over a ragtag bunch of MAGAhats. The battle was intense and lasted so much longer than I had hoped for … but 3-1/2 minutes is a small price to pay for Truth, Justice, Freedom, Reasonably Priced Love, and a Hard-Boiled Egg.
Hmmm. What would a truly civil war be like? “Oh! Pardon me; I need to blow up your ammo dump and didn’t see you there for a moment. Can you please step to the side while I do that, so we don’t get any dirt on your uniform? Thank you kindly.”
I did my part by watching the movie Holes. Usually I put on one of my three designated Fourth of July movies – The Music Man, Flight of the Navigator, or National Treasure – but I thought this time around it would be more fitting to go with one that addresses the past and (at the time of release) present ills of this country with some frankness.
@Jes
Good one!
@everyone
There’s a brilliant hashtag, #secondcivilwarletters
https://twitter.com/christoq/status/1014644438167982080?s=19
https://twitter.com/FortGeek/status/1014234963728912386?s=19
Sorry for double post, edit window ran out.
@Jes
Could you pop over to Discord pretty please? ?
What are the casualty figures?
If you want to know more about Miss Victory, please read Seanbaby’s write-up here (It’s part 2, you’ll want to read part 1 too).
http://www.cracked.com/blog/forget-captain-america-3-real-golden-age-superheroes-part-2/
I’m loving those second civil war tweets. I read them by slowly moving the screen in and out with the Ken Burns documentary music in my head.
@AuntieMame Redux:
Amen to your 2nd paragraph. That’s exactly what I was thinking. It’s so irresponsible and inflammatory.
Some people around where I live are setting off mucho fireworks. My cats are not pleased.
Festive 4th of July household tip: don’t be in a rush to compost those tough out-of-control kaiju-sized zucchini–they’re just the thing for coshing Nazis! (Then chuck them in the compost.)
@Alan Robertshaw You and I weren’t the only ones. 😀
Ashokan Farewell
You’d think that as a representative of the feminist government in exile — and itching for said government to return — I could get my news about a lefty uprising from someone other than Alex Effin’ Jones!
You can probably tell that I’m furious about being dropped from the libtard phone tree.
But never mind that. I’m just over the moon!!! about our stunning triumph over Nazis, incels, and other evildoers!!!!!!