By David Futrelle
So I recently ran across this perplexing little cartoon — apparently the English version of a Spanish-language original by cartoonist Mimundo Alex — on a MGTOW Facebook page.
I have a couple of questions:
- Why on earth is she demanding he give her his seat when it’s clear that most of the seats on the bus are empty?
- When the hell does this actually happen in real life?
I mean, I’m not a daily commuter, but I’ve been using public transportation fairly regularly for decades and I have never once seen a woman demand a seat on a bus or train “because I’m a woman.”
Here are some things I have seen:
- Men and women offering elderly people their seats.
- People pretending they don’t see the elderly person standing next to them so they won’t have to give up their seats.
- People offering seats to parents with small children.
- People pretending they don’t see the parents and their children.
- People offering seats to the disabled (or not offering them).
- People offering seats to very pregnant women (or not offering them).
- A creepy dude pressuring a much younger woman who was obviously having an extremely shitty day to move over so he could sit next to her, despite the fact that most of the seats on the train were empty.
- Kids on the tracks throwing rocks at the train I was on
- A store on fire
- A building being demolished imploding just as we passed by
- A guy with his hand stuck in the door of a T train in Boston getting briefly pulled along by the train until other commuters got the attention of the train operator.
- Former Democratic presidential candidate Michael Dukakis
- Street hustlers doing the old cups-and-ball routine (numerous times).
- A guy with his face mostly burned off by acid asking riders for money.
- A woman singing loudly and very badly along to music on her headphones while doing dance moves in her seat and refusing to stop after being confronted by other train passengers.
- Large groups of suburban Cubs fans acting like assholes.
These are just off the top of my head.
But I swear I’ve never seen women demand men give them their seats just because they’re women. Because this is simply not a thing, at least in the places where I have lived.
Why are so many men worked up about this thing that doesn’t happen?
It’s like their perpetual outrage about “women and children first” on ships from MRAs and other misogynists. Yes, it happened on the Titanic (though numerous upper class men got seats in lifeboats and many lower class women didn’t). But it’s never been a widespread policy; it would drastically slow down passengers trying to get to safety at a time when every second counts. I realize most people are regular passengers on ocean liners (and neither am I) but think for a minute about the emergency instructions you get every time you fly in a plane. Is there any mention of gender? No.
Why do these guys spend so much of their time railing against things that don’t actually happen? Possibly because the only way to make the case that men are more oppressed than women is to just plain make shit up?
No, it’s true. Every time I get on a bus, I demand that a man give up his seat. Sometimes I don’t even sit in it; I just set my stuff there and remain standing and laugh as he suffers.
If there are no men on the bus, I let it pass and wait for the next one.
Once, the only man on the bus was the driver. That was a fun day. I took that sucker to LEGOLand.
I think we female commuters are thinking too small here. We should be asking that all male commuters leave the bus altogether. I also think we should be allowed to take over and drive the bus if we want. If the driver is a man anyway.
LOL, that’s one big lie told (as always) by MGTOWs. I take public transport everyday and I’ve never seen a woman say this. Passengers do offer their seats to elder people, pregnant women and parents who are carrying their babies.
I am a frequent transit user, and I’ve never seen a woman ask a man to give up his seat.
I have seen (and have had) men stand up and offer me their seat. Dude, I’m fine. I’m just standing here. If I needed a seat, I would be actively looking for one. Since I was just standing here, I do not require you to give me your seat.
I know someone told you this was chivalrous, but it just makes me feel like you think I’m too weak to stand for like, ten minutes.
And when I go “No, thank you I’m fine.” Don’t insist, because now I don’t want to take your seat, but I also don’t want to escalate the situation, and I was just zoning out thinking through things and now I need to sit in this seat that I’m being forced to sit in???? What if you get rowdy and then the bus has to go out of service and I NEVER GET HOME???
What I’m saying is that the thing that is being described does happen, but it’s because men are told that it is chivalrous to give up your seat for a woman. And then insist that she take it, ignoring anything she says to the contrary. 9__9
Now my friend, who had a thing that made it difficult for her to walk or stand for very long (that also happened to not be visible) would take the reserved seats at the front of the bus. They are meant for the elderly, people who can’t stand for long periods, pregnant people, people with small children, people like that.
She’d get a bunch of guff when the bus would be full and an older person would come on, and she hadn’t given up her seat. She would be in some pretty big amounts of pain if she was standing the half hour it would take to get home, but…?
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m going to assume that everyone in those seats needs them, because maybe someone’s hip is really acting up or something, there’s no way for me to tell. I also only ever take them if I am carrying SO MANY THINGS that there is no way for me to go further back in the bus.
Even if the bus is empty, I don’t sit on those seats. Even if someone could ask me to move, I won’t take them. People often don’t ask. My friend wouldn’t have, she just would have stood the entire time in a great deal of pain. :S
ETA: I have heard of a woman ask a man to move over, if his bag was taking up the second seat.
TTC leprechaun take 1.
And apparently take 2? I don’t remember hearing about this one!
I used to ride the bus, and I never asked for a seat just for being a woman. Usually there were plenty of seats available and I took one, picking a window seat whenever I could get one.
I *did* once encounter a young woman who passive-aggressively complained to her friend that nobody would give a seat to a pregnant woman. When I glanced over at her, I did a doubletake and finally asked outright – “Um, which of you is pregnant?” because she was that skinny. She may have needed that seat, but she sure did not look pregnant. But even then, she didn’t want a seat for being a woman, she wanted a seat for the pregnancy.
A creepy dude pressuring a much younger woman who was obviously having an extremely shitty day to move over so he could sit next to her, despite the fact that most of the seats on the train were empty.
What the hell is it with the creepy dudes? Sitting butt-to-butt with a stranger when there are other options is fucking weird, and it’s not gonna get you in anybody’s pants. So quit it. Had that happen to me once. When I told him “no” and changed seats he first yelled that I was fat, and then smarmed “I was just trying to be nice!” Yeah, okay, buddy.
Adding to the chorus of people who have never seen this before, ever.
I know the plural of anecdote is not data, but I too, have never been asked by a woman to give up my seat because she’s a woman.
Does anyone else notice that the seats which are actually taken up by other passengers changes from panel to panel? This must be one drawn-out conversation.
I love the way the MGTOW logo randomly appears over the kid’s head for one panel. Is he thinking it? Is it a female aversion plumbob? Or is it an actual sign on the bus?
There is a pretty simple explanation. These people are assholes.
A woman did once insist I give up my seat, just so she could sit at the front. Blooming bus drivers.
I’ve encountered a handful of dudes (mostly older), who think that men/boys should give up their seats for women, because chivalry or something. I’ve never encountered a woman who feels entitled to make men give up their seat for her because she is a woman, though.
We here all have cars and don’t use public transportation. We do walk enough too, and carpool as well.
D, above, “Large groups of suburban Cubs fans acting like assholes.”
This right here. But just one of many reasons. Shout out from the west side here 🙂
I did enough time on public transport. There’s plenty of unsavory characters on it. It’s rarely on time and includes plenty of walking to and from. And by unsavory characters I don’t just mean the el, there’s plenty of creepers on the Metra trains as well. Which are more expensive so why not get a car?
And this is an area where you can get to many things by walking, so that too, and carpool with people as well, for shopping and things.
Some observations about cars and drivers ..
Gigantic SUVs with one person in them. Friend’s remark about one: That thing is bigger than my bathroom!
Ha, true.
This was in an area farther west of here, you really do need a car to get to those areas. We like to go to the one Goodwill store in Westchester, buses probably run there, you’d likely have to walk much and stand around waiting for hours. We also like to go ‘out west’ to buy cigarettes. Yes it’s a bad habit and a waste of $, they’re much cheaper out there though. And this is another “we’ll split it”, they have the “buy 3” deals, each can get just one pack, still expensive so you will keep them in your fridge and only have one here and there. They’re too expensive.
But at least cheaper there.
Some laughs ..
My one pal here had the bright idea to walk to Berwyn for cheaper cigs. OK, I could take a walk. Pfft. NO. Too far and – Cook County tax!
(we realized this after we did this.)
Driving west, if you’d do so a bit south of here, west on 55th street, if memory serves, passing Cook Co. and entering (DuPage Co.) Hinsdale, there’s a gas station right ‘over the border’ that has it’s entire side painted in huge lettering, akin to an IN fireworks store: NO COOK CO CIG TAX HERE! I bet the snobs in Hinsdale just love that 😀
Back here in the east: Small houses and garages. And your bathroom sized behemoth won’t fit in your garage. See them parked in driveways. Don’t fit in garage. Always good for a few laughs 😀
I have never demanded a seat because I am a woman nor seen anyone else demand a seat because they are a woman. I have many times experienced the same thing as Rhuu where a man offers me a seat because I’m a woman and for no other reason, which is always awkward to navigate.
I remember sitting on a train with my backpack beside me once when I was about 19/20, and I failed to notice that the car filled up with other young people also using both seats. A middle-aged man came on and yelled at me for my selfishness. I was in the wrong, but I thought it was interesting that I was the only person yelled at and also the only woman.
I’ve been regularly commuting by bus for about a year now in Seattle, where it’s weird to acknowledge other people in public. Things I’ve seen:
* Those dudes who sprawl across the 3 middle seats of the bench seat in the back, even when there’s only room left for standing
* People shoving their way in between two people trying to hog a bench seat
* People getting the attention of other regular commuters when the bus *finally* arrives 20 minutes late
*People getting up to make room for others without even being asked (male and female)
* Someone smiling while reading Ready Player One, for some reason
* People immediately getting out of the reserved seating section to make room for people with canes, walkers, strollers, lots of packages, or bicycles (the bicycle goes on the rack, but people offer their seats so the bicyclist can get off first and get their bicycle quicker)
* A guy giving his seat to a younger guy who didn’t look particularly tired (I actually know the guy who gave up the seat; he’s just a nice guy)
Things I have never seen:
* Anyone ever asking anyone to give up their seat
@David:
Looks like you dropped a negation.
I mean, I won’t say it’s never happened, cause almost everything’s happened at least once, but it’s sure not a frequent enough occurance for people to write comics about. But obviously MGTOWs will take one incident that seems vaguely “misandric’ and act like it’s an epidemic.
I try to not to talk to or make eye contact with other people that I don’t know, but I think in my bus-commuting days in Philly when I was 22, I would give my seat up for older people of all genders and pregnant women.
I’m pretty sure that no women demanded it of me, though.
While I’m not a regular on mass transit, I’ve ridden it often enough to comment. I have never seen this, I have never done this, but I have seen men spreading their legs wide to take up half the area next to them. I rode home from Frankfurt, Germany to Chicago between two man-spreaders in a full plane. It was miserable, because I had to scrunch up as small as possible, and I have serious shoulder problems, having had four surgeries (and only 2 shoulders). ‘
One thing I have seen: a bald eagle. Actually, several bald eagles. They were not utilizing the mass transit, they were just enjoying their perch in the tree above the river, and all the passengers on the train were rudely staring at them, not giving them the privacy they deserved. They flew away. I don’t blame them.
@ weirwood
I’m with you
If these men want to go thier own way they can walk
As an expert public transit user, I feel I can say with absolute certainty that this scenario never happens.
What does happen, is a young male person who is perfectly capable of standing, and with good enough eyesight to scroll through his facebook feed, will take up at least one and a half of the reserved seats on a bus/train, make eye contact with all the folks who genuinely need the seat – and go back to scrolling through his social media.
Mgtows just want a reason to justify their hatred of women that appears reasonable.
I usually am sitting next to the only empty seat on very crowded buses and no one ever wants to sit next to me. So… I have the opposite experience, I guess? Also… why is that?! I bathe regularly. I don’t *think* I look extra creepy compared to everyone else. Yet, I’m regularly a “forever alone” meme.
I have never demanded, nor taken, any seat that a man was sitting in, merely on the grounds of being a woman.
I have, however, vacated my share of them when the dude next to me started manspreading. Partly out of discomfort, partly due to invasion of my personal space, but mainly because the smell of overheated man-junk being needlessly aired out in my vicinity when other seats were free was just too gross.
Once when I got on a bus at the back door early in the a.m., a woman was blocking the doorway with her pole-dancing. She was completely clothed and her dancing was limited by the fact that she was on an effin’ bus.
Segueing to another form of transit, when I lived in a different city I occasionally took taxis from a company called Friendly Cabs. I got two — count ’em, two — marriage proposals from the drivers. I’ll say they’re friendly! Eat your hearts out, incels.