By David Futrelle
The MaleForeverAlone subreddit is every bit as hateful a place as the banned Incels subreddit was, but it’s small enough that it seems to have flown under the radar, avoiding the ban that would be sure to follow if it started to give Reddit the same sort of bad publicity that r/Incels did.
So I’ve been highlighting some of the lovely content that can be found there. Today’s entry in the MaleForeverAlone Files is a bit milder than most; I’m including it to show how deeply the evil Chad has penetrated into the minds of many so-called “involuntary celibates.”
The guy who posted the comment I’ve pasted in below evidently thinks about Chad every time he sees a woman he finds attractive. And, well, let’s just say this OP has a very vivid imagination, especially when it comes to a certain substance that is a standard byproduct of Chad-related sex.
Oh, and by the way, when this fellow refers to “normans” it is a reference to “normies” – that is, everyone who isn’t an incel. And while I’m oh by the way-ing, ignroe the downvotes on this comment; pretty much everything in the subreddit, including posts by the mods themselves, are heavily downvoted by outsiders.
Chad really gets around, huh?
Here’s the text of the comment with a few little reactions from me:
BlindedbyOnanism -13 points 2 days ago
Cool name, dude!
In order to show the normans the true light they need to walk a mile in your shoes so to speak. I would suggest that you have your friends try this simple mental exercise every time they go out:
When you go shopping, you acknowledge that the cashier you’re using still has Chad’s c*m leaking out of her ass as a leftover from last weekend. When you talk to a female therapist, you realize that she has gargled on some bully Chad’s c*m when she was in her prime.
Why, why, why are incels so obsessed with Chad gravy? Yes, dudes, most adult women have had sex with a man before — though not as many as you imagine have had sex with the kind of guys you like to call Chads. And yes, some have had anal sex — though probably with a condom — and quite a few more have performed oral sex. Get the fuck over it. Unless you have sex with Chad yourself, the chance you will ever encounter Chad’s sperm in real life is basically nil. Women aren’t sperm storage facilities.
When you do group assignments at school, you perceive that the females are dying to get rid of you as fast as possible so they could go fuk their current Chad.
If you’re an incel, it’s safe to say that this is not the main reason women want to get rid of you. It’s much more likely they want to get rid of you because you’re the type of guy who spends his whole day bitterly and obsessively imagining women having sex with Chad , and then getting mad about all the imaginary sex in your head. Which means that the vibe you give off is a creepy one indeed.
If you’re trying to pursue a girl to get a date, it dawns on you that she is responding to your desperate messages while fuking Chad, who gets her without any effort.
Wait, she’s literally tapping away on her phone while Chad “fuks” her? Is this some new kink I don’t know about?
Any crush you have at any moment is more content having a four-way with two other females and Chad than even kissing you, and you understand this when fantasizing about them.
To be fair, there are a lot of things women would rather do than kiss the sort of asshole who posts comments in MaleForeverAlone. Undergoing root canal, being audited by the IRS, pouring a small container of bees into their pants. So, yes, most women would probably prefer a FFFC (Female, Female, Female, Chad) foursome over kissing you. For what it’s worth, group sex is much more a male fantasy than a female one; one recent survey of Canadian college students showed that more than 80% of male respondents thought threesomes were cool as opposed to only about 40% of their female counterparts. So BlindedByOnanism is projecting, as incels are often wont to do.
If you fuck a prostitute, it’s apparent that she, before ending up as a prostitute, has given much better, loving sex along with her virginity to a dominant Chad.
Yes, it’s true that prostitutes tend to prefer sex with their boyfriends (Chad or not) than with the random and often quite sketchy dudes who pay them for sex. There’s a shocker.
Wherever there’s a gracious female presence, it is overshadowed by the obscene reality of Chad’s cancerous sexuality. No corner is left unravaged by the ugliness of Chad, it’s all ruined.
I think it’s much more accurate to say that no corner of the incel imagination has been left unravaged by Chad.
Well, I once knew a guy whose ex called him while she was having sex with the guy she dumped him for, but she was a horrible human being. It was also apparently the new guy’s idea.
And the guy I was friends with was not an incel, despite being incredibly short for a man and having a nose you could ski off. He had at least 3 girlfriends in the time I knew him. It’s almost like the reason they’re not getting women interested in them is their abject hatred of women and nothing at all to do with their looks.
FTF precision. They’re trying to describe ritual impurity using the language of science, which a) they don’t understand and b) has no equivalent to what they’re trying to describe.
Re WWTH’s comment upthread: this isn’t a horror film, but I don’t think these guys would like this “Asian girl” very much:
Also, Chocolate is a great movie and everyone should watch it.
And of course this time my link won’t embed dammit
I have to think that, ironically, a significant part of what goes on in their heads might be internalized misandry. They have this view of male sexuality as inherently disgusting, rapacious, and cancerous … so anyone who is interested in sex with men must have something depraved and wrong with them. That includes straight women and gay men in particular.
They’re projecting self-hatred.
Perhaps the forces at work are something like:
1. Guy grows up under patriarchal/rape-culture norms and does some pretty questionable things. Getting women drunk, for example, and pressuring women into sex. Possibly out-and-out rape.
2. Society’s norms change, at least somewhat, to call that stuff wrong. “PC culture” shames men for rape culture and predatory behavior. Suddenly behavior that used to get approbation gets opprobrium instead.
3. Heteronormativity also meant they were socialized to view the idea of gay sex as disgusting — so, to view doing things with other people’s penises as disgusting, in particular.
4. Add shame from 2 to 3 and they come to have a disgusted view of their own sexuality, and that of men in general, and by extension, particularly of anyone who would willingly choose to have sex with men.
5. Combine the existing rape-culture patriarchal views they got of women, plus homophobia, with 4 and it makes for explosively worse misogyny and homophobia.
6. Add in nihilistic self-hate from 4 and you’ve got a recipe for violent and self-destructive behavior, not just from incels but from the whole manosphere.
There is so much we as a society have to do, in raising later generations better. Boys must be socialized away from several norms, from misogynistic and homophobic ones to the whole “real men solve problems with VIOLENCE” norm as well as other toxic-masculinity stuff like “real men don’t show vulnerability or any of a broad range of emotions that correlate with vulnerability”. But moreover, everyone needs to be raised with a healthier view of sexuality itself, one that denies the commonplace notion that it is somehow degrading, or that anyone’s sexuality (except if it targets the unconsenting) is inherently bad, dangerous, predatory, or otherwise wrong.
It’s one reason I’m very troubled by the Ford premiership (aside from the likelihood that it will eventually kill me, that is). Ontario finally had a decent sex ed curriculum that was quite progressive, and Ford has promised to eliminate it and revert to some sort of thinly-disguised Christian mores based nonsense, US-style.
@Surplus
You’re multiplying causes unnecessarily; 2, 3, and 5 adequately explain the behaviour. “Sex defiles women” is a pretty standard trope in our culture, basically ubiquitous outside progressive and leftist spaces, its presence here doesnt need much explanation in any case.
Dalillama:
Thanks for the precision – this is what I was struggling to express 🙂
This seems to boil down to saying:
any time you are in the presence of any woman for any reason, of any age, appearance, professional status or relationship to you, you MUST immediately fantasize about her having sex with a man who is much more attractive than you will ever be. It’s always the same guy, apparently, and you need to especially focus on his semen.
Hmmm… I suppose we all have our fantasies.
Not sure what you’re supposed to learn from it, though.
Since the Jordan Peterson conversation has been drifting from thread to thread, I’ll just leave this here
https://twitter.com/sannewman/status/1006887974297055233
Anyone surprised he’s a giant rape apologist and thinks child sexual abuse is not that much of a thing? Or is that all out of context too?
WWTH – ugh!
And apparently potentially identifying a counselling client and rape victim enough that people could know who it was.
@WWTH
Right, that’s it; he needs to step on all the Legos.
Not that he didn’t already.
I hear so many people saying “child abuse is not that big a deal,” and it is but always people who haven’t been through it and have never bothered to listen to people who have been through it. Child sexual abuse is a big deal, and it ruins lives.
I do think that the “thou shalt be a broken victim forever” status which goes along with perceptions of child sexual abuse survivors in popular culture is not necessarily beneficial – if I was able to talk to my eight-year-old self, I would say: “That was a crappy, scary, painful thing to happen, and I know how bad you feel about it, but it is all his fault and nothing to do with you; I know people act like you’ve got something wrong with you now, and conversations keep stopping when you come in the room, and everyone’s acting like you are made of china; but they are doing it because they love you and they’re worried, not because there’s anything wrong with you. As you get older it’ll get easier. You might find some situations scary because of what he did, but you’ll find you can handle most things and don’t listen to the people who tell you to stay afraid. Trust yourself, and let it heal.”
But I think in a lot of ways that attitude comes about because people didn’t know how to react. It’s already getting better with growing awareness.
Oh why won’t people just keep their beaks out of things they don’t understand. I thought this guy was supposed to be a psychiatrist, does he not understand that people who are having mental health problems sometimes self-harm through drinking and sex? I thought that was psychology 101…
What a bold new take. “If you imagine that every women you meet is a disgusting w**re, you’re gonna end up thinking that every women you meet is a disgusting w***e.”
No shit, Sherlock. He’s pretty much admitting that all the problems he has with women just stem from his own delusions about them and not from the women themselves.
Mr. Futrelle, thank you for your work, as always, but your bit on sex workers is desperately in need of some updating and sensitivity. Yikes! Please understand that the p-word is going the way of the t-slur and that the portrayal of sex workers as being hired by “random” “skeezy” guys is problematic as hell: sex workers are trying very hard to NOT have such clients, had gained a lot of ground in doing so pre-SESTA/FOSTA, and the casual mention of this as their norm is not gonna do favors for efforts to restore what’s been lost.
Re Peterson: Ugh ugh ugh ugh and all the ughs.
@Violet –
“I do think that the ‘thou shalt be a broken victim forever’ status which goes along with perceptions of child sexual abuse survivors in popular culture is not necessarily beneficial…”
I think this is an understatement. It’s actively harmful (as you described) and I don’t think it’s an accident, either.
Notice how important it was to Peterson to portray his former patient as “crazy and broken” even as he refused to affirm the sexual abuse history. It’s exactly the sort of cognitive dissonance that our culture has on the issue: we are meant to believe, and yet not believe, that someone has been sexually abused. Believe, in the sense of heaping a lot of familiar, victim-blaming attitudes on them and feelings about them as “broken” and “dirty” pariahs, but not believe in the verbal and conscious sense in order to shut down and discredit what survivors are saying. Does that make sense?
Why do I get the sense that whenever he thinks about ‘Chad’ or “Chads” the vocal tagline “He’s everywhere! He’s everywhere!” from the radio comedy series Chickenman starts playing in his head over and over and over again.
Normans walking a mile in incels’ shoes:
Normans walking a mile in incels’ shoes:
@Buttercup LOL
I’m a little obsessed now with the comic at top. A “town drifter”? Is that just a drifter who is bad at their job, or one that likes to keep it simple by simply wandering from street to street?
Possible trigger warning for sexual assault, even though I don’t consider it to be serious enough to classify that way
Sometimes, when I get really frustrated with something, I get an overwhelming urge to destroy the object of my frustration; I get fixated on it, and it seems like every single aspect of it is intentionally trying to fuck with me and piss me off. I’ve had these episodes for as long as I can remember, and they really, really suck. Fortunately, I know – and have for most of my life – that these urges are a function of my rage and have no basis in reality, so I seldom act on them and work to remove myself from the frustrating situation until I can calm down.
I did take a hammer to a pair of my glasses once…that was not a good day.
The only time that urge was ever directed at a person was when I was seventeen; I was at a party, and an older man started hitting on me, grabbing my ass and crotch, trying to kiss me, and trying to keep me pinned against the wall so I couldn’t get away from him. While it was happening, I was too confused and scared to focus on anything other than getting away, but by the next morning, I was almost homicidally angry [note: initially, my rage was primarily about being restrained; I have a really bad reaction to being restrained in any way], and over the next few days my urge to destroy that specific man metastasized into outright homophobia, which lasted for almost a year. Given that I’d been marching in Pride parades since I was in grade school and many of my family’s long-time friends were gay, this was inherently disorienting for me. I’m glad I never intentionally acted on my homophobia and that it faded over time, but while I suffered from it, it was very real and very strong.
I can only imagine that incels have a version of my single-minded urge to destroy, because when I feel that way, the object of my rage consumes every aspect of my thoughts.
What a terrible way to live, and worse, what a horrifying thing to inflict on others.
The only person I know of that (had claimed to) text during a sexual encounter was Angry Pancake Douche who wad the subject of a thread some months ago who then came here solely to attempt impotent negs and dropped that little gem in the comments section while pushing his PUA bullshit.
I think his name was Kyle, and he was a sad, sad little man.
I wondered about the comic as well and tracked it down.
http://astoldtostanlee.blogspot.com/2013/08/filibuster-i-dont-even-know-her.html?m=1
Re: Jordan Peterson
I’m reminded of Richard Dawkins’ “mild pedophilia” comments, where he basically said “A priest once grabbed my ass and you don’t hear me whining about it, so get over being raped. Now let me tell you about the REAL abuse you suffered: being raised in a religious household!”
Sweet fancy Moses. Does that mean that when I was an ultra-polite and compliant, virginal Nice Girl who knew literally nothing about the evil that lurks in the hearts of (incel) men — I had actually been raped by Chad without even knowing it? That dude is one super sneaky motherfucker, if so!
(And if these guys really want to know the meaning of “all ruined”, they should look into their own souls. That projection is a sneaky motherfucker, too.)
Re Professor Father Peterson, I wonder how his university feels about him working for PragerU?
@LG,
You’ve just articulated perfectly what I was muddling through on reading JP on the case that WWTH mentioned. JP writes:
That last line. Fuck.