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Enjoy this delicious (if possibly a teensy weensy bit meat-heavy) MGTOW pasta salad!

Now THAT’S a salad!

By David Futrelle

Last night, a tweet from writer Lucy Valentine reminded me of the classic A Voice for Men post I wrote about several years back in which MGTOW master chef August Løvenskiolds offered up his unique recipe for “Buck Buck Chicken,” a bland and possibly slightly dry delicacy that even a MGTOW could cook, because all it involved was sticking a frozen, unseasoned chicken breast in an 450 degree oven for an hour while you yelled at feminists online. (No, really, those were his cooking instructions, yelling at feminists included.)

Anyway, this got me wondering if there were any other brilliant MGTOW recipes out there that I could share with you all. Turns out there are!

So let me present to you a recipe from the GoingYourOwnWay.com forums for “a huge pasta salad that you’ll be munching on for days.”

I think you’ll agree that this is definitely not something you will be able to finish in one sitting.

Here’s the list of ingredients provided by Master Chef MGTOWFOREVER, a “senior member” of the forum:

1 or 2 containers grape tomatos
Half a jar of Spanish Olives
1 or 2 bottles Italian dressing(I recommend Robust or House but it can be any kind)
1lb Honey Ham
1lb Pepperoni
1lb cooked salami
1lb Turkey breast
1lb provolone cheese
1lb Pepperjack cheese
1lb Cooper Cheese
Half a jar of parmasian powder cheese.

Huh. Something seems to be missing from this pasta salad recipe. I wonder what it … oh, wait, there’s one more ingredient:

A Box of Tri-color/Rainbow noodles

Ah, there we go!

You may be thinking to yourself that this less a pasta salad than a meat and cheese tray soaked in Italian dressing with a pasta accent. Or wondering if this recipe was provided to MGTOWFOREVER by the Meat and Cheese Council, a la that famous cartoon by Roz Chast.

But, hey, at least MGTOWFOREVER is stoked about his, er, salad. Here’s his advice on how to prepare this lovely meal:

Cook the noodles and as they are cooking , cut up the meat and cheese into squares. I order them at a local deli and ask for the meats & cheeses cut into slabs for chopping.They have EXCELLENT prices.

It’s true, the prices ARE pretty good at Sweeney Todd’s Meats of Uncertain Origins.

You can also use the Kraft or Store brand bag cheeses if you prefer shredded. Dice the tomatoes and olives. Put all of the ingredients except noodles into one bowl.

Into one huge fucking bowl.

Add half the bottle of dressing and a little bit of the parmasian cheese.

Once the noodles are cooked then drain them. Make sure to run the noodles under cold water for about a minute. If you don’t then the cheeses will turn into this ugly mesh looking thing.Pour the noodles back into the pot. Pour your ingredient bowl into the pot of noodles. I use a stock pot for cooking the noodles..

Wild guess: this is the only pot this guy owns.

Shake the shit out of it so everything flows together. Add the remaining dressing and paramasian cheese. You can add croutons or anything else you’d like. Be creative.

When I’m feeling especially creative I will add three or four pounds of microwaved pizza rolls, or perhaps some jalapeno poppers (at least six pounds). I haven’t tried this with MGTOWFOREVER’s pasta salad recipe, but trust me, this PRO TIP adds flavor to whatever it is you’re cooking.

You can also add several dozen bagels or a five-pound bag of Kit Kats (to taste). Garnish with Gummy Bear vitamins and a bar of soap (not the perfumed kind). Sometimes I like to top the whole thing off with an entire roast pig with an apple in its mouth. (You might need a bigger bowl for this.)

Put in the fridge for at least an 1 hour. ENJOY!

You might also have to buy a bigger fridge.

You can also use a California blend veggies. I get a huge frozen bag of that for $2 and add about a 1/4 of it during the last 2 minutes of noodle cooking.

How exactly does one measure 1/4 of a “huge?”

You don’t need to add the whole pounds of meat and cheeses. You can use half pounds(1 slab).

Yeah, if you’re a PUSSY.

I always buy by the pound so I can use the meats and cheese for other things such as chef salad, Macaroni & cheese, to grade for spaghetti, etc.

I’m sure all of your recipes are meaty, cheesy delights.

Yes I love pastas and salads. LOL.

“Salads.”

Where I buy my ingredients cost me a total of $24 and I eat off it for around 4 days. So $6 a day.

There is no fucking way you are buying all this shit for $24 unless you are buying it from Acme Slightly Expired Foods Inc or straight out of the back of a truck. The meat and cheese alone are going to cost maybe twice that.

But there is no question that this dish will provide you with some pretty hearty eating over the course of four days. On the fifth day, you get gout.

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DawnPurityseeker
DawnPurityseeker
2 years ago

Weight really doesn’t tell very much about how much fat someone has on them anyway. Ten pounds of fat, ten pounds of water, and 10 pounds of tumor all weigh exactly the same.

@kupo

Oooohhhh NICE! 😎

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
2 years ago

Kupo:

💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

That is all.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ opposable thumbs

I haven’t given him/her a name yet. Tbh at first I was a bit worried about him so I didn’t want to jinx anything. He seemed a bit bewildered by everything. Glad to say now he’s settled in and seems much happier. Got his food sorted. He likes catfood, and woodlice. He spends his time pottering around and sunbathing, and he’s found himself a little sunshade.

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He’s a lot less shy now and doesn’t try to hide. He’s got very blue eyes.

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He’s been experimenting with flapping his wings. Not quite there yet but he’s got into jumping up onto ledges and walls with a bit of feathery assistance. I do worry a bit about him though as he’s got into the habit of sleeping on this wall, but he’s already fallen down the shaft once; hence the ladder. It doesn’t seem to have put him off though.

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kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@PeeVee
💜💜

Robert
Robert
2 years ago

My husband and son are both pre-diabetic, and I do the cooking. I’ve learned a lot about portion control and healthful food choices. Fortunately, we are all opportunistic omnivores, so there is very little that we won’t eat.

I was surprised by how much I miss potatoes, though. A few weeks ago I was downtown running errands and treated myself to a basket of housemade tater tots at a local burger place. Oh. Oh oh oh. I almost wept.

Skylalalalalalala
Skylalalalalalala
2 years ago

@Hambeast

I love most of the cruciferous veggies, (you can keep kohlrabi)

Have you ever tried it roasted? It’s lovely that way. We got one once in an organic box & had no idea what to do with it, so we shoved it in the oven in the same tray we were roasting some carrots & onions and even the kids liked it.

@ DawnPurityseeker

I wanted to get mine done, especially since they test for the genes that are responsible for producing the enzymes that activate/metabolize different medications, and I’ve had problems with Vicodin not working for me in the past. In the end, not metabolizing Vicodin (and not getting any pain relief) isn’t life threatening, but I believe the same pathway is responsible for metabolizing many other medications as well.

You can also do Ancestry DNA testing (which is quite a bit cheaper) and upload your DNA to one of at least 2 sites which will analyse it and tell you which genes you have related to which known things. I don’t remember the free one, but Promethease is only $10.

Most genes don’t have any related studies yet, and most of them that do, you’ll have genes that both increase & decrease your risk of things. I discovered I’m at extremely high risk (double genes for it) for a disease that causes you to have excess iron (usually only appears after menopause in women) and quite high risk for macular degeneration. I also discovered that a number of drugs are completely ineffective on me, so they do have at least some of the same info that 23& Me has.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

23 and me actually doesn’t have a lot of the health-related stuff. They only recently started doing it. I use Promethease for that.

Z&T
Z&T
2 years ago

David sums it up perfectly, once again 🙂
This is why he’s a pro writer.

Food. Came to talk about food.

I just made sammiches for self and usual pals. This was: Grilled smoked sausage, on toasted French bread (Toasted = a light coat of butter and garlic, and grilled lightly), plus mayo, spicy mustard, lettuce, tomato, and mozzarella cheese. And chips, Ruffles sour cream and onion.
Plus beer 🙂

Excellente! And – Damn, that was good! Reviews from dinner guests here 🙂

I will agree. I am a pretty good cook. If I do say so myself 🙂

It came to me though, while I was slicing up the French bread, I remembered THE biggest food LIE that has ever been perpetuated on humanity.

Right in front of your face too, but easy enough to forget.

And that is: “Fork Split” English muffins. O WHAT A GODDAMNED LIE! You cannot split these things with a fork, unless they mean fork LIFT. Or CHAIN SAW.

You could EASILY wind up in the hospital trying to split one of these things in half.

“Fork Split”? Oh you English Muffin LIARS!
I WILL SEE YOU IN HELL!!!

Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
Violet the Vile, Wielder of an Ideologically Weaponized Vagina
2 years ago

@Alan

I love those pics. Thanks for my morning cute! <3 <3 <3

Regards names: Odin had a couple of important ravens, Hugin and Munin, and there's a Japanese one too Yatagarasu who has three legs

Personally I would call him Gary after Spongebob's snail

Watching in horrified fascinator
Watching in horrified fascinator
2 years ago

@DawnPurityseeker
My favourite way to cook Brussels sprouts is to first steam them, then fry them in clarified butter along with cubetti di pancetta until they are lightly caramelised.
I didn’t know that broccolli tastes bitter to some folk either. It’s my go-to green veg for a Sunday roast.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
2 years ago

Ah, catfood and woodlice – the fine dining choice of the discerning corvid!

@Alan thank you for the update :-)))))) I didn’t even know corvids could have blue eyes (could that be a juvenile thing, and they change colour later I wonder). (did you say whether they’re a crow or a raven? I’d guess crow, but I don’t know enough to tell especially at such a young age)

I presume the ladder is for you (unless your guest is able to feather-assist themself up rung by rung 🙂 )

I hope all goes well, and that you will let us know? I’ve read that they can tell people apart perfectly well, so you must be in the running for the great honour of being persona grata 🙂

Moon Custafer
Moon Custafer
2 years ago

Rewatched Roger Corman’s The Raven (1963) last night, so I keep imagining your corvid with the voice of Peter Lorre.

Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
Scented Fucking Hard Chairs
2 years ago

I didn’t even know corvids could have blue eyes (could that be a juvenile thing, and they change colour later I wonder).

It is usually a juvenile thing, but there are rare exceptions – I used to have a pet Australian raven with bright cerulean blue eyes (most of his species have white eyes) despite being a right old fart of a birb.

Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (nee Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Do you have any pics of your piggies? I feel like every thread can be improved by guinea pigs.

Nope, not online or even electronic. I did once make a nice hand-drawn portrait of one of the two piggies my sister had when we were teens.

Croquembouche, extrenely mamal omen
Croquembouche, extrenely mamal omen
2 years ago

Alan and other corvid fans:
Have you ever read any Konrad Lorenz?

He was one of the early animal behavior researchers, particularly of birds and fish, and also wrote popular science essays on the subject. They are a delight to read, full of enormous affection for his subjects.

In King Solomon’s Ring, the chapter “The perennial retainers”
describes generations of jackdaws at his home, and their relationship with him, other humans, and other corvids.

The whole book is full of joyful, unabashed love of animals.

https://www.google.com.au/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://s-f-walker.org.uk/pubsebooks/pdfs/Konrad_Lorenz_King_Solomon%27s_Ring.pdf&ved=2ahUKEwixtdPyjsnbAhVFerwKHbVlD18QFjAPegQIBhAB&usg=AOvVaw2woFIo0uKXxRY9c-3ADJYF

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ croquembouche

Oh thanks for that link; that’s now in iBooks for my evening reading.

@ opposable thumbs

I presume the ladder is for you (unless your guest is able to feather-assist themself up rung by rung 🙂 )

Well the ladder is for me, but funnily enough he must have fallen down the shaft again, because I found him on the fourth rung of the ladder this morning; so he clearly has some ladder climbing skills. Probably better than mine, but he’s not trying to do it one handed.

He’s experimenting with jumping up onto stuff; he can get about a foot off the ground now. He’s been eyeing up a window ledge though, so I think that’s his next goal.

Croquembouche, extrenely mamal omen
Croquembouche, extrenely mamal omen
2 years ago

Oops! On further reading, his own account of his position re the Nazi party minimised much and attempted to conceal even more disturbing stuff.

Read his history before you read his work if this bothers you.
Sorry.

Hambeast
Hambeast
2 years ago

Skylalalalalalala – Last time I had kohlrabi, I was about ten. My dad pretty much farmed most of our backyard and liked to try to raise different things. When we first started harvesting the kohlrabi, it was pretty good; like broccoli stalks, but sweeter. But we soon found out that if you leave them in the ground for too long, like ten minutes, they get woody fast. But they’re easy to grow!

My mom tried to get them used up, but we just ended up burnt out on them and my dad had to compost them. I guess the lesson is, don’t plant too many at once!

I’d probably eat them roasted, though.

Tovius
Tovius
2 years ago

@Hambeast

My dad recently started doing that. He wven tried to grow corn last year, although it didn’t go very well. It’s just too hot here in the summer.

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
2 years ago

@SFHC

I used to have a pet Australian raven

::admiration/envy/wonder::

@Croquembouche yes! Too long ago, we had a copy of King Solomon’s Ring (alas it’s one of the books that didn’t come through the upheaval of clearing my late mother’s house (it’s readily available, of course, but well, that was my mum’s copy :-s))
I didn’t know about him in relation to the Nazis, though.

@Alan probably getting the idea from seeing you climb it. Just wait until they move on to the advanced stuff, like opening the fridge 🙂

Croquembouche, extrenely mamal omen
Croquembouche, extrenely mamal omen
2 years ago

@opposablethumbs,

Sigh of unsurprised disappointment. It would have been hard in those times to forge a Nobel Prize winning career without a certain degree of cooperation with the Nazi regime, but he doesn’t seem to have showed much reluctance.

I’d been looking forward to rereading the book, and maybe some others of his. Now, I think I’ll read some more on his life and actions first, to get more context on the wisdom and compassion he was so widely praised for, and how it fits in with his boosting of scientific racism.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

“Did you see me on the corvideo oh oh…”

Apparently, in the wild they practice by jumping up to progressively higher objects, so I built him a training area.

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He got the hang quite quickly. Note he’s sat on the highest bit.

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And he’s getting a bit more confident about flapping his way, rather than walking everywhere.

https://youtu.be/XFkVBjZwcWA

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
2 years ago

I’m not sure which is more perfect: the human building a funagility circuit for a bird, and then the bird actually using it. I love this to a quite unreasonable degree.

Thank you for showing us the pics, Alan! 🙂

Yutolia
Yutolia
2 years ago

@Alan: that’s so cool. I love birds! I don’t have much experience with corvids but I’ve had several chicken and duck friends.

@dalillama: totally agree! Another excellent point! A lot of times weight gain is a symptom, not a cause, even though it’s treated as the cause, therefore we can spout that ridiculous CI-CO crap and blame the individual for their lifestyle instead of dealing with the actual underlying causes of disease.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ opposable thumbs

She does seem to enjoy having stuff to play on.

https://youtu.be/JhHafF0d9EE

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
2 years ago

Maggie’s funagility circuit appears to have grown exponentially already … 🙂

This is brilliant, and a Very Good Thing.

Um … no funagility happening around here, sadly. Nearest we’ve managed is to get the robin redbreasts to do a kind of hummingbird-hover, if you hold their food* out to them (the bold one, who takes it from your fingers) or smear it on the downward-sloping side of the big birdfeeder branch (the timid one, who doesn’t).

*lard (bought just for them) mixed with ground-up seeds (just for them) plus ground-up dried mealworms (just for them, unsurprisingly). Ground up using the old coffee-grinder which is also, now, apparently, just for them.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ opposable thumbs

I like robins. There was a pretty tame one at my old place.

Maggie has this rather amusing and sweet thing of just looking at something for ages sort of disinterstedly. Then when she thinks you’re not watching she’ll get all enthusiastically trying it. It’s especially cute how she hops up that ladder.

Currently she’s got a tightrope vibe going. At first I thought she was getting tangled up, but when I went to rescue her she was just trying a balancing act. Good practice for standing on telephone wires I guess.

https://youtu.be/41i94MmtUlg

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

There was a pileated woodpecker in my neighborhood, down by the creek last summer/fall. I’ve only seen it once but used to hear it pecking all the time. I’m dying to see it again but I think maybe it died or moved to a different area because so far this year, nothing. I’m really hoping to catch a glimpse.

This isn’t the actual one I saw, but an example pic from Google images comment image

Gorgeous!

At least there’s lots of northern cardinals in my neighborhood. I think they’re pretty as well as pretty misandrous. The male has to pretty himself up to get female attention and I often see two or three males jostling to get to one female. Mwa ha ha!
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They’re super common in North America, but it doesn’t look like they’re in Europe so I thought I’d include a pic for across the pond mammotheers.

Oh, and from wikipedia

During courtship, the male feeds seed to the female beak-to-beak.

It’s the bird version of females sitting around eating bonbons while the male slaves away!

opposablethumbs
opposablethumbs
2 years ago

Maggie knows that tightropes are too easy for her; the slack rope, now – that’s a challenge fit for an enterprising crow. 🙂

We don’t get pileated woodpeckers of course, but we do have a regular family of greater spotted (unless they’re lesser spotted; I can’t remember) who’ve been bringing the latest juvenile every year for a while. Plus there’s a jay and a magpie. They all disagree vociferously, and occasionally violently, about who gets to eat first and more. The woodpeckers usually win by pretending they Just Don’t Care how big the other bird is; they cordially invite them to come and have a go if they think they’re hard enough.

The robins often come near the door and wait for table service, and sometimes they yell to remind us. They’ve been giving the blackbird ideas.

PirateJennie
PirateJennie
2 years ago

Winter just ended here in this part of Washington state so I’ve only seen a few robin, magpie, and assorted LBJ (little brown jobbies) out during the day. I’m looking forward to watching our cherry trees this year, they attract some beautiful and diverse species 🙂

As to the OP:

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=zT_ZCP78VxY

PirateJennie
PirateJennie
2 years ago

Oh bother, I think I misspelled my screen name in two other posts. Does this mean they’re gone?

PirateJennie
PirateJennie
2 years ago

Still adjusting to the wonky missing and double posts.

If I misspelled my screen name will those posts just be gone?

I think I used PirateJenny (my preferred nym) instead of PirateJennie.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@PirateJennie
They usually go into moderation and will show up once David approves them. Are you in Eastern WA? We didn’t even really have a winter here in the Puget Sound. But that’s pretty normal for us.

PirateJennie
PirateJennie
2 years ago

@Kupo

About as far east as you can be without living in Idaho instead.

Thank you for your reply and may I say it’s been nice to see you here through the years.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

@PirateJennie
Aww, thanks!