By David Futrelle
Time to drag a few more terrible comments from the moderation queue to share with you all. Once again the most popular genre of comments I get from angry lady-haters is the time-honored “threat disguised as a warning and/or prediction.”
Let’s start with this “warning” from a dude calling himself BSG, which in this context definitely does not stand for Battlestar Galactica.
The fake news media is waking up to the inevitability of patriarchy. American elites see what’s happening to Europe and have decided they’d prefer not to be conquered and replaced. Big swinging dicks are going to run the show and put women in their place. That’s not up for debate. The current feminist dystopia is unsustainable. The only question is whether those in charge will be muslim alphas or western alphas.
Wait, we live in a feminist dystopia?
I guess Star Trek taught me wrong because I was pretty sure that feminist dystopias looked more like this:
Here’s a dude who wants us to know that it is the incels, not us, whose understanding of the world is backed up by LOGIK.
Lol. No one can actually debate incels based on logic. They are THOROUGHLY logical based on my perusal. What they say is based in undeniable fact. Whatever hypothessis they have that isn’t actually based on science would be backed up by it if it was of interest to academics, which for now, even after this thing is getting to crisis level, is still not … because no one cares to study it as long as men are on the losing side.
Those ellipses are doing a lot of work there. I left out most of his huge wall-of-text because my eyes glazed over reading it.
Luckily, an incel dude showed up to helpfully illustrate just how LOGICAL he and his fellow iucels soldiers are, if by “LOGICAL” you mean “full of rage and constantly threatening violence.” Take it away, “Incel Legion.”
We are Legion and i promess mass shooting will never end…Fuck you and fuck your world!!!!
Yeah, dude, I’m sure it’s your bone structure, not your murderous rage, that causes women to not want to sleep with you.
Wow, a racist tweet from Roseanne just got ABC to pull the plug within hours after Wanda Sykes walks away: https://www.themarysue.com/roseanne-barrs-racist-tweet-wanda-skyes-quit/
The system works sometimes.
Well good news about Roseanne. Although bad news she actually thinks like that.
How long before the Trumpster says it’s terrible Roseanne had to be dropped something ratings something because she likes Trump, something?
Well. I figured ABC would pretty quickly have to cancel the show because of something she said.
I fully expect right wingers to boycott ABC/Disney but still watch ESPN, not knowing or caring that it’s owned by Disney too.
Sad, is everybody turning Cr*ppy McCr*pperson these days? At least her show called canceled. We can’t give people like these anymore passes. It will just get worse and worse when we do.
Posted this on “more like battlefield vagina”
https://motherboard.vice.com/en_us/article/59q98k/pewdiepie-alinity-copyright-feud-twitch-fails
I wouldn’t be surprised if he or one of his followers becomes a terrorist or something and can’t believe he still hasn’t had his channel and other accounts banned yet. YouTube and other social media sites are broken.
Oh boy, the shitstorm from the right about the Roseanne cancellation is going to be epic.
Just as an aside on the whole BSD thing (thanks for the correction, David)… speaking as a guy, I know that this is some kind of hang-up for men, but it’s one that we really do need to get past in a hurry. It’s just one more piece of needless anxiety and actually speaks to how little the average guy knows about how the bodies of either gender actually works. It’s why I don’t join in the “small dick” teasing of ammosexuals; it just feeds into their anxiety if that is indeed what they’re concerned about compensating for.
Porn is a big culprit in this and I know that sex ed classes do their best to make it clear that penis size is mostly irrelevant, and where it is relevant, it’s usually because it’s too large for whatever it’s entering.
Seriously, I’ve seen wayyyyyyyyyy too many adult illustrations where it shows an x-ray view of the phallus just ramming through the poor cervix of the recipient. And this is played off as “pleasurable.” I don’t have a cervix myself, but the consensus in most comment sections was “OW!”
Stop learning about sex from porn, guys. It’s not healthy.
@sunnysombrera
I can recommend taking some time to learn about conflict resolution and de-escalation. It’s very useful, not just in situations like that, but just in daily life. I got training as part of my job and it is honestly one of the best courses I have ever been on.
When you’re in a situation with someone who is being aggressive, you think they are likely to escalate it to physical harm, and there is no easy way out of the situation, you should always appear as calm as you can, even if you are completely terrified on the inside. If you scream, run, cry, look afraid, you increase your chances of getting attacked. Do not escalate. Keep your tone calm and friendly, no matter what they do. Get them to talk, and listen to everything they have to say – as long as they’re talking, they’re not attacking. And the longer they talk the more likely it is they’ll lose steam. Make them feel valued and like you’re listening to their opinion seriously and with respect. Talk about “we” and “us” as much as you can, to create a bond. Agree with them about something or other (it only has to be something small, or a solid fact): “Why yes, Mr Terrifying Violent Incel, I think you are absolutely right. Many young men today have a lot of anger.” It’s okay to say stuff like “I’m feeling a bit scared right now, because it’s really late at night, we’re on our own, and I’ve never met you before,” as long as you keep it calm. Try and move it away from trigger subjects. Talk about your day. Ask about theirs. Watch their body language.
Just to clarify, the goal here is to get away from this fucker as soon as possible, so you should also be taking stock of escape routes and things to hit them with
@Katamount:
That cervical-entry stuff makes me cringe. I had a medical test a while ago that involved a device being gently and slowly inserted into my uterus to take a sample of the uterine wall. Or uterine lining, I don’t remember. This device was about the same diameter as a strand of spaghetti. I can only speak for myself, but it was uncomfortable enough.
Porn featuring x-rays? Is that a common thing?
@Moggie
In porny comics, it’s not uncommon to have a panel or few of a cross-section of the penetration. It’s not so much an x-ray as it is drawing parts of the woman (or man) transparent so you can see how far the dick(s)/tentacle(s)/etc. is(are) going.
Porny comics can be really strange, basically.
Real-life sex may be stranger, though — I remembered reading that a couple of decades ago researchers found some couples who were small enough, agile enough, and enthusiastic enough to have sex in an MRI tube FOR SCIENCE! and, well: https://www.bmj.com/content/319/7225/1596
“The images obtained showed that during intercourse in the “missionary position” the penis has the shape of a boomerang and 1/3 of its length consists of the root of the penis. During female sexual arousal without intercourse the uterus was raised and the anterior vaginal wall lengthened. The size of the uterus did not increase during sexual arousal.”
Another voice to say, Europe hasn’t been destroyed. We are fine, have some problem with right-wingraise that seem imposible a few years ago and many countrys try to make sense of a world without a country who was been one of our closest alys for more than half a centuary and how to work with it.
It’s strange how American conservatives write about Europe as if we’re a mysterious, far-off land of which little is known, other than the reports from intrepid explorers such as themselves. Obviously you can’t trust what Europeans say about the place, since we’re all compelled by Sharia law to say that everything is fine, but plenty of Americans have travelled in Europe, or lived and worked here, and are able to say “no, it’s really not that bad, stop with the bullshit”.
So many awesome comments here. I had to euthanize my beloved cat yesterday and so am in the need to post.
weirwoodtreehugger I always LOVE your comments. I teach English in Russia and had a young man contact me on Facebook. He wanted to do what I do and come out and visit. My home is always open to people who want to understand Russia like I do so I agreed.
The first thing out of his (young white cis-het mouth) at the airport was: “I’m Libertarian, so you don’t need to worry.” I’m guessing this was because I’m a lesbian and my gf and I picked him up? Fucking weird thing to say as a greeting and, yes, he was awful. (He clipped his toenails at our dinner table, ffs.) I regret that and now our home is only open to women. (Not the only reason for that stipulation.)
Paradoxical Intention Brilliant. I read over this four times because I loved it so much.
Vucodlak I’m now obsessed with this song. Also, I always appreciate your input on Pharyngula.
Kimstu Brava! This is exactly what I always think. If you want a relationship with another human, you need to first, think of them as human and try to please them, if you want them to please you. Women have always had the brunt of the “pleasing” requirement and some men now are bucking the same. “It’s so HARD!”
I’m trying to find some way to donate to WHTM but PayPal has blocked my Russian credit card. Also, I’m in the EU at least once a month and it’s quite lovely.
@Moggie
Statistically speaking, not many Americans actually visit Europe; somewhere between 3-5% of Americans (that’s not counting immigrants obviously) have traveled overseas to any destination*, and many of them didn’t go to Europe when they did. I can’t find a figure on visitors yo Europe particularly, but it’s not a huge number. Added to that, such trips self-select for relatively affluent and cosmopolitan people, which often correlates with the coasts. There are big swathes of inland America where the average person has never left the U.S. and never known anyone who’s been further than Canada.
*It occurs to me that people stationed at military bases overseas aren’t counted either.
@ Krasnaya Koshka
All my condolences
Dalillama Thank you.
According to many sources, only 23% of Americans even have passports. It’s prohibitively expensive to travel to Europe. I never had the opportunity until I was 44 y.o. None of my family (except my mom who is from Germany) has ever seen Europe.
@ Krasnaya Koshka
I’m so sorry to hear about your furry friend. Words always seem like platitudes at times like this; but for what it’s worth you have my sympathies. I, and a lot of folks here, know how awful this is.
Alan, it’s so true. When we try to convey our real emotions it sometimes does sound like platitudes. The feline guy in my avatar is no longer with me. And thank you.
@dalillama – I think that 3-5% of Americans travelling overseas is an annual number and even so I’m not sure it’s correct, but assuming it is… The total number of Americans who have EVER been overseas will be higher, probably significantly higher. After near neighbours such as Canada, Mexico and Caribbean nations, the next most popular destination is Europe – so probably a significant chunk of Americans have indeed been to Europe.
Wikipedia states that in 2015 almost 3 millions Americans visited the UK alone – so that’s almost 10% of the population. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_States_passport – I don’t know about the validity of these stats, but that would sort of indicate that its
But just going somewhere isn’t understanding somewhere, of course.
Too late to edit – I was thinking about a Facebook message I got about six months ago from the wife of high school friend who said that she wanted to visit the UK, but her spouse thought London might be dangerous. My partner and I laughed – London more dangerous than the US? But if you’re fed a daily diet of Fox and Friends who consistently have news pieces about no-go places in London other lies and exaggerations, it must seem like a dangerous place. Meghan Markle’s ex sister-in-law’s son was arrested in a SW London nightclub for having a knife – but he said he brought it because no lesser authority than Donald J Trump said that London was a war zone, ankle deep in the blood of knife crime victims (sigh).
That being said, my stepson did suffer a knife wound this weekend, a self-inflicted whittling injury. (He’s ok).
@rugbyyogi
I thought it was hilarious when Trump said that. London does have murders and crime, all large cities do. But on the whole it’s a very nice place with world-class everything.
I’m actually heading in this weekend (I live an hour or so’s train ride away) – the official reason is I’m going to a gig on Sunday night, but I took the excuse to book myself a hotel room Friday/Saturday and I’m looking forward to some art gallery time at the southbank centre or the V&A, some top class dim sum, maybe getting a bit spendy in the little boutique vintage shops round spitalfields way. Might even treat myself to a fancy cocktail or two.
I love London. I’d live there if only I could afford it. I consider it highly unlikely I’m going to see anyone get stabbed.
@ violet
I lived in London for 15 years. Felt safe as houses.
To put the crime rate in context, a solicitor friend once complained; “There’s only one murder for every 650 law firms”
@Krasnaya Koshka,
I’m so sorry :c That is one of the hardest things to do. All the condolences.
@lkeke35, back in the first comment. I’ve been shouted at in the past. People who were absolutely pleasant and civil enough, suddenly flipping like a switch – shouting and stamping their feet in public. Absolutely terrifying. Not common – it’s only happened to me twice. Both relatively socially awkward guys. This was before Incels were a thing, and the first as before we had ubiquitous internet, but very similar reactions to both. Humans are scary animals!
Krasnaya Koshka
I’m sorry for your loss. Hugs if you need them. I had to ethuanize my dog a few years ago and shortly after my other dog passed. I really miss them both. But I have a kitty and she’s very sweet and funny. It’s wierd I’m allergic to cats but she doesn’t bother me that much so maybe because of her breed? I don’t know but she’s cool.
Krasnaya Koshka, I’m sorry. I know it feels terrible right now, but he’ll be with you in mind for the rest of your life, and, years from now, he’ll still be bringing you pleasure. You did right by him.
Alan:
Shakespeare had a solution for that.
Since I live in London, an acquaintance once told me about visiting Lord’s cricket ground, and feeling unsafe on seeing a wall covered in graffiti. A few points:
1. Lord’s is not in an unsafe part of town.
2. Graffiti does not equal danger.
3. It was the wall outside Abbey Road Studios. You know, where tourists write their names, after dicking around on the zebra crossing? Your biggest risk there is getting into an argument about whether Paul’s dead.
So, perceptions of danger can get pretty strange.