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By David Futrelle
In their forums online, where no one can see what they look like, self-described “involuntary celibates” come across as some of the most repugnant human beings that have ever walked the earth. Yet somehow incels think it’s their looks, not their personalities, that drive the women away.
Indeed, one commenter in the Braincels subreddit has managed to convince himself that personality, for all intents and purposes, doesn’t exist — and that it is actually our bone structure that determines how the world treats us, and how we act.
In a post a week ago, everythingshewants7 set forth the basics of his theory, informing his fellow incels that “[p]ersonality does not exist, and I do not give a shit about it.”
Let’s see if we can follow his unique logic.
People behave the way their environment wants them to behave, and the way people treat them. The way people treat them is based on bonestructure.
Two sentences in and already I feel like I need a flow chart. So the environment takes one look at a person’s bone structure, and then issues a set of instructions as to how other people should treat them? Or does a person’s bone structure tell the environment how it wants people to treat them? Who’s driving this car anyway?
As people can’t resist social pressure, they start behaving according to other people’s expectations.
So a person’s bone structure is some sort of invisible puppeteer that determines people’s expectations, which in turn determine how these people treat the person with that bone structure acts, which determines how that person acts? Again, if someone could draw me a diagram I might understand a bit better.
So, if you look intimidating, people will treat you with respect or fear, and you’ll start to behave like the tough guy.
Well, ok, that make a certain sense. I mean, look at this intimidating-looking apex predator fearlessly attacking a much larger enemy.
Tremble before this kitten’s SUPERIOR BONE STRUCTURE!
Meanwhile, ladies use their not-so-intimidating bone structure to trick the world into thinking that they’re not evil sluts.
If you look innocent as a woman, people will think you’re girlfriend material and a nice person. You start to behave according to these expectations. Not only do you start to behave like that, you will perceive yourself as a nice, caring woman.
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world she was girlfriend material.
What does this mean? It means personality is a social construction, and nothing else.
Wait, personality is socially constructed? I thought it was determined genetically by a person’s bone structure.
It basically does not really exist. Since I know this, I don’t give a shit about people’s personality anymore.
So bone structure is socially constructing something that doesn’t exist. Got it.
There’s nothing as fake and constructed as personality. You see a nice feminine woman, and you think she’s girlfriend material. Most likely, she’s the biggest slut of all, forcing [her] to lead a double life.
Wait, so bone structure only determines personality (which doesn’t exist) when a person is on their best behavior in public? It doesn’t affect their real personality (which also doesn’t exist, I presume)?
Behind closed doors, she’s being fucked by one chad after the other.
I should have known that the dastardly Chad was going to make his inevitable appearance. Damn you, Chad! Damn you all to hell!
When she steps out of the door, she plays her role. This is our so called ‘civilized society’. Nothing, nothing you see is real.
Woah.
I think I might have to lie down for a while.
H/T — r/TheBluePill
NOTE TO READERS: Sorry I haven’t been able to post for several days; I re-injured my back and the combination of back pain and my chronic headaches kind of did a number on me. Feeling a bit better today. Thanks for you patience!
Anyone read that Ray Bradbury story about the man thinking his skeleton was out to get him? This guy sounds about two steps away from that level of paranoia.
I’m sorry to hear about all the pain, David. Here’s to you feeling better soon!
Let me try to give the OP a more charitable reading:
Perhaps the OP meant
Nope, still wrong and stupid.
Wow, this was even dumber than I expected.
I think he’s at the mercy of his boner structure, if you know what I mean and I think you do.
Let’s say “personality” does not exist. So, what does exist instead?
It amuses me to no end when people use “social construction” as synonymous of “does not exist”.
It happens also with TERFS, when I say gender is a social construct and they answer “so it does not exist? How can you say it does not exist?” Or occasionally “then your speech right now is a social construct so it is as invalid (ie non existent) as gender! Checkmate!”
Needless to say, a social construct means there is a society constructing something and said something -by definition- should actually exist.
As various tumblr users have pointed out, money is a social construct, but you can still get evicted for failing to make your rent; traffic lights are a social construct, but you can still get hit by a car if you ignore them.
I feel as though the OP is about a step and a half away from “you become the mask you wear, so choose wisely,” which might be a better philosophy.
I guess he had a… bone to pick with something.
I’ll see myself out thank you.
What I don’t understand is how bone structure determines looks as a whole. Height, yes… body and face shape, to some extent… but what about skin, hair, eye colour and everything else?
Eh, I don’t know why I’m pretending any of this makes sense. I guess sense is a social construct *nods head wisely*.
Has anyone thought to test this guy for rabies?
This is literally just phrenology.
First snake oils, then the flat Earth theory, now phrenology… I can’t wait until these blithering twonks discover preformationism. Now that will be 24 karat comedy gold.
Logic. Incels, get some.
Well, at least it’s a change from the usual fixation on weight when it comes to women. Now looks are all in the skeleton!
Is bone-headedness a social construct, too?
@SFHC, curses, you beat me to referencing phrenology. As if we needed another old batch of nonsense to make a comeback.
Well, HIS personality certainly doesn’t exist, so it’s no wonder he’s incapable of giving a shit. And it’s also no wonder nobody cares for him.
That’s funny, because literally NOBODY has ever treated me better or worse depending on whether they liked the way my skull was formed. I think I’ve received all of one compliment on my looks that had anything to do at all with bone structure.
DO they, though? Because I’ve received a lot of pressure over the years from various males to submit to their whims, and I’ve rarely had difficulty saying NOPE. And that’s funny, because as a fertile-looking feeeeeemale with big hips and boobs, I should have been (at least according to this bozo’s Deep Thoughts) a total, round-heeled pushover, ready to put out for anyone, and churn out the babies as soon as I turned 18. I’m now 50, have had a lot less sex than one would think, and no kids (the latter entirely by choice, the former not so much). Oopsie-poopsie!
My late grandfather was drafted into the SS because he was tall and imposing looking, and spoke three languages. He never became a convinced Nazi, much less a tough guy, even though he was popped into a fashy uniform and made out to be someone to be feared. He may have had the “right” bone structure to be a snappy looking soldier, but he never even fired a shot. Oh dearz, is that another nail in the coffin of a menzer theory? I do believe it is.
If I look innocent, it’s because I am. If I’m perceived as nice and caring, it’s because I am. I’m not “behaving according to expectations”, I just am what I am, and people are picking up on that and responding to it. I am innocent, nice and caring, and I am also laughing at this bass-ackwards bullshit because it is just so fucking absurd.
What does this mean? It means…um…uh…oh shit, dude, are you contradicting yourself? Yes, you totally ARE. Why, next thing you know, you’ll be telling us that bone structure is also a social construct. Well, at least the inordinate amount of significance you attach to it is, so…half a point for Slytherin?
“I can’t fuck those grapes, so they must be sour”, said the incel. Or rather, the volasshole. Because just like all of the guys who unironically refer to “Chad”, this guy is quite voluntarily an asshole. “Involuntary” celibacy is just an inevitable side effect of gobbling down all the bitter pills, then vomiting them back up, half-digested, all over the internets for other volassholes to swallow, then regurgitate, and so on ad nauseam et ad infinitum.
In short: This theory needs work. Lots of it. Mostly of the picking-it-up, throwing-it-in-the-trash, and taking-the-trash-to-the-curb-on-the-night-before-garbage-day kind.
So… hang on. Let me unpack this. Personality isn’t something innate or personal – it’s something determined by others’ treatment of you. And their interactions with you are determined by their expectations of you, based on your appearance. If you have angry-looking bones, people will expect you to be angry, treat you like an angry person, and you’ll become angry. But, secretly, you might actually be a very calm person, and behind closed doors, you’ll be being calm with all sorts of people.
I have several questions. Some of which have already been asked, but I’ll put them all here anyway. If one’s personality is shaped by others’ expectations, then how can one have a secret private personality and a public personality? If social expectations are so powerful, wouldn’t the public personality override the private one?
Where do these expectations come from, anyway? If people come to behave how they look, are we pre-programmed to see certain appearances as indicating certain personalities, or could we change future generations’ personalities by changing social expectations?
Is this person just trying to justify judging people based on their appearances while simultaneously giving themselves a loophole to accuse women of secretly being evil, even if that loophole undermines their entire argument? And why are they basing their worldview on Talking Heads’ “Seen and Not Seen”!?
There’s a video on youtube titled “Advanced Incel Theory”. These guys take themselves extremely seriously.
A foolish hobgoblin is the consistency of little minds.
I’m feeling generous today so I will actually give this incel one (1) point for acknowledging that social expectations plays a part in shaping peoples behavior. He does it in a simplistic, generalizing, non-coherent way and the rest of his “logic” doesn’t really make any sense… but still!
Like Bina said, people are of course not victims helplessly doing what they are told to do.
If we talk about gender roles, for instance, they work by subtly influencing people, using among other things social expectations to nudge us in certain directions. I think it works a bit like advertisement, increasing the probability that we act one way or another.
The anti-feminists usually have a hard time understanding this, claiming that various differences one can see between men and women is simply the result of men and women choosing different things by their own 100% free will, and therefore not a problem. They think that the patriarchy is just a silly conspiracy theory and that gender roles are bullshit.
But I am quite certain that if you asked this guy a question like why so many girls but not so many boys like the color pink, for example, he would explain it with innate, biological determinism (SCIENCE), social expectation having nothing to do with it. Maybe bone is a completely different matter? I didn’t quite catch all of the nuances in this osteological essay of his.
Hello.
Sorry for your back, David. Do you have to wear a corset to relieve it a bit ?
Anyway, about the main topic…
– “I always think that Death was a ladykiller !”
– “NO, ACTUALLY.”
Ah, well, maybe the writer have a social fishbone stuck in the throat…
But now we can understand better why Auriny has so much skulls at home : he likes being surrounded by people with great bone structure as himself. The pieces of the puzzle begin to fit !
Have a nice day (and long week-end, if you celebrate Pentecost monday).
Wow. The depth of idiocy and ignorance in this guys treatise is truly awe inspiring…and not in a good way.
BTW, David, are your headaches migraines? If so, there may be a simple remedy. I get optical migraines – no or little pain, but prismatic vision for the duration. A friend told me that smelling organic, totally natural lavender oil for a minute or two gets rid of migraines of all kinds. So, I tried it and it worked! Told another friend – one who really gets laid out with migraines – and it worked for him as well. While it didn’t completely get rid of the headache, it reduced it dramatically. You do have to make certain that the oil is 100% organic, though.
Hope that helps.
Off topic: I don’t know what’s more adorable, the kitten or the Job level patience of the dog (complete with “see what I have to put up with” aside glance).
I think he’s trying to say the following:
“All people behave fundamentally/privately the same. Specifically, all people are privately assholes like me. Therefore, “personality” as a concept is meaningless, especially because the term is typically associated with people who (ostensibly) are interesting and not-assholes. Insert cliche misunderstanding about the term “social construct”.
Masculine looking men, ie Chads, get social license to be openly assholes. I’m bitterly jealous about that because I personally feel socially prohibited from expressing my fundamentally human assholery. It must be because of my less masculine looks, specifically my bone structure which I can’t do anything about. This again ties to my sexual aggrievement.
Women have even less masculine looks, which gives them a social role of being innocent, caring, etc. This is deeply deceptive because women too are secretly assholes and also hypergamous sluts etc. Devolve into generic ranting about women’s evil nature, in stark contrast to their public image.”
BONESTRUCTURE
Do we ever learn what bonestructure (one word) makes you what personality? Like, if I sent this guy my phrenological measurements (wrist circumference too? I mean, there’s bones there), could he sort me into a Meyers Briggs category? Or is it the other way around? Like, could he accurately describe me to a sketch artist based on my fear of heights and preference for subs over dubs?
Tell me your secrets, magic bone man!