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“Females want to be preyed upon.” It Came From the Unapproved Comments, Part 237867

Yaaagghhhh

By David Futrelle

I learn so much from the comments that people leave here that I don’t let out of moderation. So I thought I’d share some recent nuggets of truthiness with you all.

“Females, deep down, want to be preyed upon.”

In response to my post about the incel dude who likes to terrify 14-year-olds by asking them creepy questions and then following them down the street, some dude calling himself Strong Silent Type typed out this horrifying nonsense:

Don’t be so PC. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s good confidence training for young dudes or these InCel/PUA types. And it’s harmless fun for the rest of us.

The truth is, most women/girls get a little bit of a rush from it. It’s a controlled dose of fear/danger/excitement. Like a roller coaster. It’s similar to flirting. Males need to hunt. To be predators. And females, deep down, want to be preyed upon.

I do a version of this by walking very, very quietly as I come up behind a female startling her. Or when I hear the distinctive sound of high heels around a corner, I’ll time my pace so that as soon as she makes the turn I’ll be right there. The fact that I’m fairly tall and bearded with an imposing presence makes the impact more intense.

That moment when her heart skips a beat… when she inhales and momentarily freezes… It’s something primal for both of us. I’ve mastered how to look menacing without doing anything overtly improper. I won’t apologize or give her a smile or say something or give any of the non-verbal cues she’s looking for to signal everything’s OK. I’ll just stare and drag that moment out a bit too long.

Then I keep moving. Maybe next time, sweetheart. I know the female walks away with a little bit of a buzz just like I do.

Does this guy really believe this (and/or do this) or is he trolling? Either way, he’s a huge asshole.

“The mere existence of incels is testament to the degradation of women.”

So says some dude called Steve:

I see so much bullshit swirling around the whole concept of incels. The real reason that incels have become a thing is that something we all used to take for granted has been discovered not to be true.

We all used to assume that men had no bottom. “Men will fuck anything,” the conventional wisdom ran. But now we’re finding that we do have a bottom after all. More and more women today are simply so awful that men are deciding that celibacy is preferable. The mere existence of incels is testament to the degradation of women. It’s a badge to wear with pride.

INCEL pride!

“A man marooned on a desert island will survive (well may).”

Brinbrin62 has apparently never watched Naked and Afraid, or truly considered the long-term effects of an all-seagull diet.

MGTOWs are not adopting a “cat lady” lifestyle. This is what all single-at-40 women eventually become, but not men. Men are not as prone to mental illness due to loneliness than women are. A man marooned on a desert island will survive (well : may). A woman will die, and fast.

Men can thrive alone. Aging single women… just end up loving cat (and liquors… and meth).

You may not agree with the impact of feminism on the occidental civilization and other “conspiracies” theories. But some of these theories may be true.

Well, I guess you chose the blue pill, so…

I love the reference to “occidental civilization” which has become a bit of a racist dogwhistle these days. Amazing how many of these misogynists also turn out to be huge racists.

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Shadowplay
2 years ago

@misophistry

It is good, isn’t it? 🙂

If you don’t mind retro graphics, check out Sheltered some time.

Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
Surplus to Requirements, Observer of the Vast Blight-Wing Enstupidation
2 years ago

@Weird Eddie

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X_AMcY0A8WY

(Not created by me.)

Lumipuna (formerly Arctic Ape)
Lumipuna (formerly Arctic Ape)
2 years ago

Two of these commenters are clearly MGTOW who go around announcing “modern women suck” in random threads on random feminist blogs. You can’t go more your own way than that.

The first one implies he’s not either incel or PUA, but some generic creep. That may be true, but he could still be the same creep who originally boasted on an incel site about being a creep. I imagine incel communities would attract anyone who wants social validation for extreme misogyny.

Rabid Rabbit
Rabid Rabbit
2 years ago

These OP types really piss me off, not only for the obvious reasons everyone else has mentioned, but also completely selfishly. They ruin walking for decent human beings.

I’m a very fast walker, and I’m sometimes out quite late at night. It wasn’t until around the time I found this blog that I realized that for years, I had been terrifying women I came across who were walking in the same direction as me as they heard me coming up behind them. And there’s not really much to be done about that: it’s not always convenient to cross to the other side of the road, slowing down is actually really hard and spoils the walk, and there’s just no way to signal “No, don’t worry, I’m a decent guy, I’m not stalking you or anything, I’m just going to walk past you and carry on (please don’t mace me).” All because of asshats like this OP and the one in the other post.

Obviously, slowing down is what I do now. It’s annoying, but just a mild inconvenience. Though if anyone has any suggestions for what else I could do, I’m all ears.

Note to any misogynists reading this: yes, Schrodinger’s Rapist is unfair. But it’s not the women’s fault he exists. It’s the fault of people like this. And probably of people like you.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

@Rabid Rabbit

I either cross the road OR change my route as soon as possible, slowing down until I can do so.

You’re right, it’s not a great feeling to realize that your innocent evening stroll has the potential to frighten someone badly, but it is what it is, and, as the frighteners it’s our responsibility to not do that.

On the plus side, I know about a hundred different ways to get anywhere around here. 😛

Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
Bananananana dakry: Short-Haired, Fat, and Deranged
2 years ago

@Shadowplay

What he really needs, then, is his target to look at him and then deliberately put her full weight down on said heel. I’m sure that’d give him a ‘carefully controlled’ dose of something.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

@Bananananana

I do like the way you think.

Although a quick knee to his pride and joys would be equally acceptable. 🙂

Elderly Neo-Hippie Resurgent Minion
Elderly Neo-Hippie Resurgent Minion
2 years ago

I once had an experience with someone similar to creep #1…in the parking lot of a convenience store, he came up behind me while I was strapping my toddler into the car seat in the car and said something sexual…I hadn’t realized he was there until he spoke. I started shrieking like a banshee, turned around, and started slapping and hitting like the Furies of Hell.

To this day, I remember how *startled* he looked, mouth open and hands up in surrender before he ran away. He was a big guy, too.

I am grateful to be on the old side now, and (mostly) off the radar of creepy guys like this.

Kimstu
Kimstu
2 years ago

“Brinbrin62” said:

A man marooned on a desert island will survive (well : may). A woman will die, and fast.

Except when it’s the other way around:

Ada Blackjack had no wilderness skills before she was forced to fend for herself on a remote Arctic island—and outlived four male explorers […]

Blackjack, a petite 23-year-old Inupiaq woman, had come along as a seamstress. Her job was to sew foul-weather clothing out of animal hides so the men could survive the northern winters. […] But when a ship didn’t show up as promised in the summer of 1922, the expedition turned desperate. Three men went for help by dogsled over the ocean ice, some 100 miles south to Siberia, leaving Blackjack on her own to care for the remaining expedition member, Lorne Knight, who was bedridden with scurvy.

Blackjack was barely five feet tall and 100 pounds and lacked any wilderness skills. Nonetheless, she taught herself to hunt and trap, picked roots, hauled wood, made her own clothing, dodged hungry polar bears, and cared for Knight. After he died, in June 1923, Blackjack clung to survival on this treeless 2,800-square-mile expanse of ice and tundra, where summer temperatures hover in the thirties. […]

Almost from the beginning, the team had bad luck and made poor decisions. […] They hired Inuit families to come along, a common practice among Arctic expeditions of that time. (Most indigenous people got little to no credit for their critical roles in European and American expeditions.) […]

Blackjack had no interest in claiming far-flung territories for distant empires. She agreed to go because she needed the money. She had lost two of her three children and divorced her husband, who had beaten and starved her for years. Penniless, Blackjack was forced to place her sole remaining child, Bennett, who suffered from tuberculosis, into an orphanage. She signed on with the expedition desperate to pay for his medical care. […]

So Blackjack learned to trap foxes. She hauled driftwood and chopped it for the fire. She taught herself to shoot and brought in geese and seals for the two of them to eat. She even built herself two lightweight boats out of driftwood, canvas, and animal skin—which she had shot, dried, and sewed herself—so she could hunt more successfully.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

That story needs to be turned into a movie. A not whitewashed movie, that is.

PeeVee the Tired
PeeVee the Tired
2 years ago

I remember reading about Ada Blackjack before. That woman was a badass.

Scoots2
Scoots2
2 years ago

Cat ladies (and men) are so awesome that they have their own Con. Behold, CatCon.This grew out of the Cat Art Show a few years ago. I’m proud to say that I have been to every single one. The first year, the con sold out the building and the fire marshall had to come down and control entrance to the venue.

Single cat ladies don’t deserve your pity (unless, of course, they think that they suddenly are allergic to cats, as I did earlier this year. That was truly awful).

solecism
solecism
2 years ago

@Kimstu

Thanks for sharing! Loved learning about her. There’s also the girl who inspired one of my favorite childhood books, Island of the Blue Dolphins
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Island_of_the_Blue_Dolphins

Women survive just fine on their own. Always have.

numerobis
numerobis
2 years ago

How did an Inuk in 1922 not have wilderness survival skills?

For one: sewing is a survival skill.

numerobis
numerobis
2 years ago

Oh, of course:

Blackjack, having grown up in a Methodist mission school

Earlier than it started on this side of the Arctic.

Still, if she was sewing skins and cooking walrus she was presumably brought up with some traditional skills.

idli sambar revolution
idli sambar revolution
2 years ago

(Most indigenous people got little to no credit for their critical roles in European and American expeditions.) […]

Look into the Himalayan mountain climbing subculture, particular Mt.Everest. White people get all the accolades for climbing and reaching “the top” but sherpas climb with several kilos of white people’s luggage on their backs. And they take things up like TV’s.

The first white guy to reach the top of Everest (like a hundred years ago or something) split the accolades with his Sherpa. What this means to me is that the Sherpa reached the top first, but this was too embarrassing for the white man so he made it known that they both reached at the same time. Had he really reached it first he would not have halfsied with the Sherpa.

Europe and the white world was all praise for him being so “humble” to share the accolades with his Sherpa who largely remained anonymous as he was celebrated.

Seriously, the whole Everest franchise is one huge white privilege cultural appropriation on the backs (literally on the backs) of sherpas.

Katherine the Adequate
Katherine the Adequate
2 years ago

I read Island of the Blue Dolphins in sixth grade. Loved it.

Still do.

Alan Robertshaw
Alan Robertshaw
2 years ago

@ idli

Sherpa who largely remained anonymous

Tenzing Norgay became one of the most celebrated and famous people in the world. He received universal accolades. All the photographs atop Everest are of him. Even when I was a kid (quite some time after the ascent, honest) he was a hero. Probably better known than Hillary, whom was often mixed up with Mallory for understandable reasons.

Now I was going to ascribe your lack of knowledge to your ignorance

like a hundred years ago or something

and suggest that you actually read up on stuff before you post bullshit. However you’ve made me uncharacteristically cynical. I was going to point out that the British government wanted to knight Tenzing, but this was vetoed by the Indian prime minister. So is this just a stealth attempt to slip in your “Indians are terrible” agenda?.

The Real Cie
2 years ago

Yes, I just love the idea that some creepazoid may rape or murder me. That is the sort of thing that really makes my night.
What the fuck is wrong with this critter?
Another thing I love is not even being able to go into the damn grocery store without creepy weirdos making creepy comments. This happened a while ago, but one night I had to make a quick stop in the grocery store. As I’m going in, two men were coming out. One of them said to the other, “now that looks like a lady who could take good care of you.”
I snapped a terse “you wish!” which, judging by the look on his face, he wasn’t expecting.
I was pissed off for a good while afterwards about the fact that I couldn’t even go to the damn grocery store without being harassed.
I am far from what anyone would think of as beautiful. Yet this shit still happens to me.

Bearpelt
Bearpelt
2 years ago

I love the whole “men are predators” thing. According to WHAT? Humans don’t have predator teeth; we have omnivore teeth, iirc. Granted, science was my worst class, but I feel like there are plenty of cues that indicate that humans aren’t inherently predatory like that asshole seems to think, much less it being completely gendered behavior.

Also what the fuck is “occidental civilization”? I’m afraid to find out. :/

Buttercup Q. Skullpants
Buttercup Q. Skullpants
2 years ago

Thirding the wonderfulness of Island of the Blue Dolphins. As a kid, I loved books about people surviving in the wilderness on their own (“My Side of the Mountain” was another favorite), but there were so few with female protagonists.

I wish our friend Pug would read posts like this, because this is a perfect example of the vast gulf between socially awkward men and creepers.

Socially awkward men generally have no idea that they’re violating norms and boundaries, and are mortified to discover that they made someone uncomfortable/afraid.

This creep knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s deliberately triggering terror in women in order to make himself feel powerful for a few seconds. And then he’s compounding his smug douchebaggery with some post hoc gaslighting.

There’s no gray area between socially awkward and creepers, no blurring them together. They’re galaxies apart. Socially awkward dudes will stop when asked, and make an attempt not to do it again. Creepers, not so much.

kupo
kupo
2 years ago

Also what the fuck is “occidental civilization”? I’m afraid to find out. :/

Occident vs. Orient. Basically saying Western Civilization but using outdated terminology, which is ironic because using Western is also rather outdated in favor of Global North vs. Global South (Which, of course, has it’s own issues).

Tansy Poisoning
Tansy Poisoning
2 years ago

@ Weird Eddie
Oooh, I like it! People compulsively looking out their windows, dreading the sight of a carroussel horse; people losing their minds when they hear carnival music…
Coincidentally, the story would also give a way better rush than being stalked.

weirwoodtreehugger: chief manatee

Tansy poisoning,

By chance, is your nym an ASOIAF reference?

idli sambar revolution
idli sambar revolution
2 years ago

Occident and orient is used commonly in Spanish.

Bearpelt
Bearpelt
2 years ago

@kupo

All it makes me think of is ocelets.

Shadowplay
2 years ago

@bearpelt

For some odd associational reason, it makes me think of Gene Wilder.

Tovius
Tovius
2 years ago
Paradoxical Intention: Resident Cheeseburger Slut

Bearpelt | May 6, 2018 at 6:33 am
I love the whole “men are predators” thing.

I do too, since it’s one of the most hilarious oroborouses of what passes for “logic” in the manosphere.

Manosphere: “Men are predators! It’s just in our nature!”
Woman: “Okay, so I should avoid men then? To not be hurt?”
Manosphere: “What? No! How else are men supposed to have sex with you?”
Woman: “You just said that men are predators, which would mean that they’re dangerous and I should avoid them for safety.”
Manosphere: “You believe that?! Misandry! Man hater! You’re going to die alone, you stupid fucking whore!”

Samantha
Samantha
2 years ago

At first glance… a really fast glance… the article seemed interestingly instinctive man versus animalistic women. I took it the wrong way. (insert facepalm here) I recently had a conversation with my 14 year old niece. She likes this boy and asked him to the movies. He said no. I explained to her that men should be the hunters. She should ‘make the mountain come to Mohammad’… that kinda stuff.

This here… this freakin crazy as hell creepy crap is pathetic and inhumane. If your ‘involuntary celibacy’ is so profoundly awesome, what gives with this mediocre attempt at dominance? We all have the ability to be bat sh!t crazy creeps but you don’t see me waltzing around with Harley Quinn make up and a baseball bat… and calling random folks ‘Puddin’.

It’s your thinking. You need help. We have all been through stuff with the opposite/same sex. Sex is fanfreakintastic! What’s with being celibate? Go get some… you gonna go blind and make the world a better place.

Kimstu
Kimstu
2 years ago

@Rabid Rabbit:

I’m a very fast walker, and I’m sometimes out quite late at night. It wasn’t until around the time I found this blog that I realized that for years, I had been terrifying women I came across who were walking in the same direction as me as they heard me coming up behind them. […]

Obviously, slowing down is what I do now. It’s annoying, but just a mild inconvenience. Though if anyone has any suggestions for what else I could do, I’m all ears.

Well, I appreciate fast walkers such as you and @Shadowplay choosing to prioritize not scaring women over not slowing down; thanks! If these are fitness walks rather than just trying-to-get-somewhere-on-foot-after-dark walks, you could also try wearing very obvious high-visibility exercise gear: reflective vest and sneakers, flashing headlamp, whatever.

Also, maybe use those slowing-down intervals for some jumping jacks or running in place or stretches. The general idea is that the more conspicuous you seem, the less you look like a potential sneaky stalker. And the more non-threateningly dorktastic you seem with your sidewalk stretches and jumping jacks and flashing reflectors or whatever, the more you look like someone focused on his own exercise routine rather than on trying to intimidate or prey on women.

@BQS:

Thirding the wonderfulness of Island of the Blue Dolphins.

Fourthing! Also, Julie of the Wolves for another fascinating trek through solitary-female-Arctic-survival territory, this time a fictional one.

Katamount
Katamount
2 years ago

Oooh, are we talking about medieval weapons? Cuz I think there’s only one tool for the errant troll that will properly subdue him:
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Yes, can’t go wrong with the ironically-dubbed “man catcher”. Holds the neck in place and keeps them safely out of arms reach. Saw one of these things at the Crime and Punishment Museum in Nuremberg. Hooboy, people were creative in their pain-inflicting methods back then….

Actually, any pole weapon is nice for establishing proper distance.
comment image
comment image

Valkyrine
Valkyrine
2 years ago

@Samantha
The idea that “men should be hunters” is exactly the kind of thinking that leads to misogynists thinking it’s okay to creep on women, it’s not a good advice to give your daughter. If the guy she likes finds a girl asking him out off putting, then he’s the kind of guy who doedn’t deserve her attentions. If he turned her down ’cause he’s not into her, then that’s just something that she needs to accept.

Also, what was that last paragraph about? It felt weirdly erasing as an ace person and kinda… virginshaming-ish?

Rahu
Rahu
2 years ago

@Rabid Rabbit – Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I’m a bit behind in my reading and just got to this – you asked about suggestions to be less threatening – THANK YOU!!!!

First of all, I want to second everything that Kimstu said – those are all perfect!

Secondly, I’d like to share an experience I had with a good guy facing the same problem. I was walking in a semi-deserted area, then heard a man’s voice some ways behind me calling out “I’m coming up on your left – I’m jogging – don’t worry!” Okay, to be honest, it freaked me out, because I’m hypervigilant due to many experiences with not-exactly-good guys, and I hadn’t heard him coming up behind me at all. However, he was, as I mentioned, quite a ways back when he called out. I swung around, saw him way back there, he waved and called out “I just didn’t want to scare you, being a man coming up behind you”. I waved and shouted “thanks!”, turned around and kept walking – after a bit, he did as he had said, and passed me on my left, jogging away.

It impressed me massively. Now, yes, he might have gone ahead and attacked me (he didn’t – just kept jogging), but by calling out, he lost all possibility of a sneak attack – he made sure that I knew what was going on and that he wanted to do his best to make sure I wasn’t scared.

Long story short, I second Kimstu and add a suggestion of calling out something like “I’ll probably be passing you on your left/right in a few!”

Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
Axecalibur: Middle Name Danger
2 years ago

It’s similar to flirting

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ChimericMind
ChimericMind
2 years ago

Please don’t make people scared of tall men with beards, guys. Wait, that’s a feature, not a bug, isn’t it? Because if you can’t get “action”, you’d like to weaken others’ chances of interacting normally because women see them and get set off on panic attacks from their experiences with you…

Also, when Z&T talked about having other weapons, I accidentally read the word “rapier” in the following sentences, and I was sad when it turned out my brain was being dumb. I do wonder if that would count as some sort of pun-infused extra-appropriate defense against rape, though…

Michell
Michell
2 years ago

I am glad I started my love of cats young so no one will reduce it to some kind of psychological reaction to turning 40.