By David Futrelle
I learn so much from the comments that people leave here that I don’t let out of moderation. So I thought I’d share some recent nuggets of truthiness with you all.
“Females, deep down, want to be preyed upon.”
In response to my post about the incel dude who likes to terrify 14-year-olds by asking them creepy questions and then following them down the street, some dude calling himself Strong Silent Type typed out this horrifying nonsense:
Don’t be so PC. There’s nothing wrong with this. It’s good confidence training for young dudes or these InCel/PUA types. And it’s harmless fun for the rest of us.
The truth is, most women/girls get a little bit of a rush from it. It’s a controlled dose of fear/danger/excitement. Like a roller coaster. It’s similar to flirting. Males need to hunt. To be predators. And females, deep down, want to be preyed upon.
I do a version of this by walking very, very quietly as I come up behind a female startling her. Or when I hear the distinctive sound of high heels around a corner, I’ll time my pace so that as soon as she makes the turn I’ll be right there. The fact that I’m fairly tall and bearded with an imposing presence makes the impact more intense.
That moment when her heart skips a beat… when she inhales and momentarily freezes… It’s something primal for both of us. I’ve mastered how to look menacing without doing anything overtly improper. I won’t apologize or give her a smile or say something or give any of the non-verbal cues she’s looking for to signal everything’s OK. I’ll just stare and drag that moment out a bit too long.
Then I keep moving. Maybe next time, sweetheart. I know the female walks away with a little bit of a buzz just like I do.
Does this guy really believe this (and/or do this) or is he trolling? Either way, he’s a huge asshole.
“The mere existence of incels is testament to the degradation of women.”
So says some dude called Steve:
I see so much bullshit swirling around the whole concept of incels. The real reason that incels have become a thing is that something we all used to take for granted has been discovered not to be true.
We all used to assume that men had no bottom. “Men will fuck anything,” the conventional wisdom ran. But now we’re finding that we do have a bottom after all. More and more women today are simply so awful that men are deciding that celibacy is preferable. The mere existence of incels is testament to the degradation of women. It’s a badge to wear with pride.
INCEL pride!
“A man marooned on a desert island will survive (well may).”
Brinbrin62 has apparently never watched Naked and Afraid, or truly considered the long-term effects of an all-seagull diet.
MGTOWs are not adopting a “cat lady” lifestyle. This is what all single-at-40 women eventually become, but not men. Men are not as prone to mental illness due to loneliness than women are. A man marooned on a desert island will survive (well : may). A woman will die, and fast.
Men can thrive alone. Aging single women… just end up loving cat (and liquors… and meth).
You may not agree with the impact of feminism on the occidental civilization and other “conspiracies” theories. But some of these theories may be true.
Well, I guess you chose the blue pill, so…
I love the reference to “occidental civilization” which has become a bit of a racist dogwhistle these days. Amazing how many of these misogynists also turn out to be huge racists.
Occident and orient is used commonly in Spanish.
@kupo
All it makes me think of is ocelets.
@bearpelt
For some odd associational reason, it makes me think of Gene Wilder.
@Bearpelt
I like your interpretation better.
http://justfunfacts.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/ocelot-mother-and-kitten.jpg
I do too, since it’s one of the most hilarious oroborouses of what passes for “logic” in the manosphere.
Manosphere: “Men are predators! It’s just in our nature!”
Woman: “Okay, so I should avoid men then? To not be hurt?”
Manosphere: “What? No! How else are men supposed to have sex with you?”
Woman: “You just said that men are predators, which would mean that they’re dangerous and I should avoid them for safety.”
Manosphere: “You believe that?! Misandry! Man hater! You’re going to die alone, you stupid fucking whore!”
At first glance… a really fast glance… the article seemed interestingly instinctive man versus animalistic women. I took it the wrong way. (insert facepalm here) I recently had a conversation with my 14 year old niece. She likes this boy and asked him to the movies. He said no. I explained to her that men should be the hunters. She should ‘make the mountain come to Mohammad’… that kinda stuff.
This here… this freakin crazy as hell creepy crap is pathetic and inhumane. If your ‘involuntary celibacy’ is so profoundly awesome, what gives with this mediocre attempt at dominance? We all have the ability to be bat sh!t crazy creeps but you don’t see me waltzing around with Harley Quinn make up and a baseball bat… and calling random folks ‘Puddin’.
It’s your thinking. You need help. We have all been through stuff with the opposite/same sex. Sex is fanfreakintastic! What’s with being celibate? Go get some… you gonna go blind and make the world a better place.
@Rabid Rabbit:
Well, I appreciate fast walkers such as you and @Shadowplay choosing to prioritize not scaring women over not slowing down; thanks! If these are fitness walks rather than just trying-to-get-somewhere-on-foot-after-dark walks, you could also try wearing very obvious high-visibility exercise gear: reflective vest and sneakers, flashing headlamp, whatever.
Also, maybe use those slowing-down intervals for some jumping jacks or running in place or stretches. The general idea is that the more conspicuous you seem, the less you look like a potential sneaky stalker. And the more non-threateningly dorktastic you seem with your sidewalk stretches and jumping jacks and flashing reflectors or whatever, the more you look like someone focused on his own exercise routine rather than on trying to intimidate or prey on women.
@BQS:
Fourthing! Also, Julie of the Wolves for another fascinating trek through solitary-female-Arctic-survival territory, this time a fictional one.
Oooh, are we talking about medieval weapons? Cuz I think there’s only one tool for the errant troll that will properly subdue him:
Yes, can’t go wrong with the ironically-dubbed “man catcher”. Holds the neck in place and keeps them safely out of arms reach. Saw one of these things at the Crime and Punishment Museum in Nuremberg. Hooboy, people were creative in their pain-inflicting methods back then….
Actually, any pole weapon is nice for establishing proper distance.
@Samantha
The idea that “men should be hunters” is exactly the kind of thinking that leads to misogynists thinking it’s okay to creep on women, it’s not a good advice to give your daughter. If the guy she likes finds a girl asking him out off putting, then he’s the kind of guy who doedn’t deserve her attentions. If he turned her down ’cause he’s not into her, then that’s just something that she needs to accept.
Also, what was that last paragraph about? It felt weirdly erasing as an ace person and kinda… virginshaming-ish?
@Rabid Rabbit – Sorry to resurrect an old thread, but I’m a bit behind in my reading and just got to this – you asked about suggestions to be less threatening – THANK YOU!!!!
First of all, I want to second everything that Kimstu said – those are all perfect!
Secondly, I’d like to share an experience I had with a good guy facing the same problem. I was walking in a semi-deserted area, then heard a man’s voice some ways behind me calling out “I’m coming up on your left – I’m jogging – don’t worry!” Okay, to be honest, it freaked me out, because I’m hypervigilant due to many experiences with not-exactly-good guys, and I hadn’t heard him coming up behind me at all. However, he was, as I mentioned, quite a ways back when he called out. I swung around, saw him way back there, he waved and called out “I just didn’t want to scare you, being a man coming up behind you”. I waved and shouted “thanks!”, turned around and kept walking – after a bit, he did as he had said, and passed me on my left, jogging away.
It impressed me massively. Now, yes, he might have gone ahead and attacked me (he didn’t – just kept jogging), but by calling out, he lost all possibility of a sneak attack – he made sure that I knew what was going on and that he wanted to do his best to make sure I wasn’t scared.
Long story short, I second Kimstu and add a suggestion of calling out something like “I’ll probably be passing you on your left/right in a few!”
Please don’t make people scared of tall men with beards, guys. Wait, that’s a feature, not a bug, isn’t it? Because if you can’t get “action”, you’d like to weaken others’ chances of interacting normally because women see them and get set off on panic attacks from their experiences with you…
Also, when Z&T talked about having other weapons, I accidentally read the word “rapier” in the following sentences, and I was sad when it turned out my brain was being dumb. I do wonder if that would count as some sort of pun-infused extra-appropriate defense against rape, though…
I am glad I started my love of cats young so no one will reduce it to some kind of psychological reaction to turning 40.